Anxious kids are brave kids. They are creative, thoughtful and have the potential to light the world on fire, every one of them, often in unexpected ways. When anxiety takes hold though, it’s overwhelming. It can shut down their potential, their engagement with the world and their self-belief. It feels awful and life becomes more about avoiding anxiety than it does about embracing life in ways that flourish them. This can be turned around and although anxiety doesn’t generally go away, it can be managed so that it stays in the background and out of their way. For anxious kids, the important adults in their lives are a powerful ally in helping to make this happen.
What are the signs of an anxious toddler? Many parents will miss the early signs of toddler anxiety, as it can often look vastly different than what we might expect. There are the obvious signs of toddler anxiety such as excessive fears and phobias, but there are also more subtle signs that indicate an anxious personality. Some early precursors to anxiety are often seen in behavioral and sensory issues.
Anxiety is unpredictable, confusing and intrusive. It’s tough. Not just for the people who have it but also for the people who love them. If you are one of those people, you would know too well that the second hand experience of anxiety feels bad enough – you’d do anything to make it better for the one going through it.
Most of us have experienced some sort of anxiety in a social setting. Meeting someone’s parents, a job interview, giving a speech, a party, a dinner – who hasn’t been there? Sometimes though, the feelings that come about are intense and unbearable, and the overwhelming temptation is to jet yourself well away from wherever the action is.
Anxiety has a way of making everyone feel helpless – the ones in the midst of an anxiety attack as well as the ones beside them who would do anything to make it better. It’s difficult to know exactly what to do when your little person is flooded with anxiety. Different things will work for different people, so don’t be afraid to experiment with what works best.
Intimate relationships are a mirror, reflecting the best and the worst of all of us. They can inflame our struggles or soothe them. When they’re right, they can feel like magic. Even when they’re completely right, anxiety can steal the magic and loosen the connection between two people who belong together. All relationships require trust, tenderness, patience and vulnerability. People with anxiety often have these by the truckload and will give them generously to the relationship. The problem is that anxiety can sometimes just as quickly erode them.
Kids are all so different and the world needs the brilliance that comes from every version of them.
We can’t know what they’re capable of, not for a while anyway. Some kids will start unfolding their potential in a certain direction from early on. For others it will be much later. Sometimes it won’t happen until well through adolescence, early adulthood or later. What’s important is making sure they’re supported enough to find that spark and ignite it when they’re ready.