Anxiety is a normal response to something dangerous or stressful. It becomes a problem when it shows up at unexpected times and takes a particularly firm hold. When anxiety is in full swing, it feels awful. Awful enough that anticipation of the feeling is enough in itself to cause anxiety. Anxiety in kids can be especially confusing , not only for the ones who are feeling anxious, but also for the adults who care about them.
We already know that anxiety has nothing to do with strength, courage or character. It picks a target and it switches on.
When that target is a child or teen, it can be particularly distressing, causing problems with sleeping, eating and missed school from unexplained illnesses such as sick tummies or headaches.
One of the worst things about anxiety in kids is the way it can happen without any identifiable cause. The physical feeling is familiar – that panicked feeling that comes when you miss a stair or as my daughter recently described, ‘that feeling you get when you’re almost asleep and you feel like you’re falling.’ (‘Yes, we’ve dealt with it in our home too. It’s under control now, so I can assure you this works.)
The good news is that anxiety in kids is very treatable and they are particularly responsive. I often think we don’t give them enough credit. They’re so open to possibility, and very quick to make the right connections when they’re given the right information and support. As the adult in their lives, you’re the perfect one to give it.
Anxiety in Kids and Teens: Turning it Around
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Don’t talk them out of it.
As a parent, the temptation is to reassure your child with gentle comments in the way of, ‘There’s nothing to worry about,’ or ‘You’ll be fine‘.
This comes from the purest of intentions but it runs the risk of them feeling as though there’s something wrong with them. The truth is that when anxiety has a hold of them, they can no sooner stop worrying than fly to the moon. As much as they want to believe you, their brains just won’t let them.
What they need to hear is that you get it. Ask them what it feels like for them. They may or may not be able to articulate – and that’s okay. Then, ask if it’s ‘like that feeling you get when you miss a stair,’ (or ‘that feeling you get when you feel like you’re falling in your sleep’). Often, this in itself is such a relief because ‘someone gets it.’
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Normalise.
Explain that:
•. Anxiety is normal and everyone experiences anxiety at some time in their life – before an exam, when meeting new people, going for an interview or starting at a new school.
• Sometimes it happens for no reason at all. That’s also normal. It happens to lots of adults and lots of kids but there are things you can do to make it go away.
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Explain why anxiety feels like it does.
Out of everything, this is perhaps the most powerful intervention for anyone with anxiety. Anxiety in kids causes the most problems when it seems to come on without any real trigger. There’s a reason for this, and understanding the reason is key to managing the anxiety.
Here is a child-friendly explanation. I’ve used it for a variety of ages, but nobody knows your child like you do so adjust it to suit.
‘Anxiety is something that lots of people get but it feels different for everyone. Anxiety in kids is common, and lots of adults get it too. It happens because there’s a part of your brain that thinks there’s something it needs to protect you from. The part of the brain is called the amygdala. It’s not very big and it’s shaped like an almond.
It switches on when it thinks you’re in danger, so really it’s like your own fierce warrior, there to protect you. It’s job is to get you ready to run away from the danger or fight it. People call this ‘fight or flight’.
If your amygdala thinks there’s trouble, it will immediately give your body what it needs to be strong, fast and powerful. It will flood your body with oxygen, hormones and adrenaline that your body can use as fuel to power your muscles to run away or fight. It does this without even thinking. This happens so quickly and so automatically. The amygdala doesn’t take time to check anything out. It’s a doer not a thinker – all action and not a lot of thought.
If there is something dangerous – a wild dog you need to run away from, a fall you need to steady yourself from – then the amygdala is brilliant. Sometimes though, the amygdala thinks there’s a threat and fuels you up even though there’s actually nothing dangerous there at all.
Have you ever made toast that has got a bit burnt and set off the fire alarm? The fire alarm can’t tell the difference between smoke from a fire and smoke from burnt toast – and it doesn’t care. All it wants to do is let you know so you can get out of there. The amygdala works the same way. It can’t tell the difference between something that might hurt you, like a wild dog, and something that won’t, like being at a new school. Sometimes the amygdala just switches on before you even know what it’s switching on for. It’s always working hard to protect you – even when you don’t need protecting. It’s a doer not a thinker, remember, and this is how it keeps you safe.
If you don’t need to run away or fight for your life, there’s nothing to burn all that fuel – the oxygen, hormones and adrenalin – that the amygdala has flooded you with. It builds up and that’s the reason you feel like you do when you have anxiety. It’s like if you just keep pouring petrol into a car and never take the car for a drive.
So when the amygdala senses a threat it floods your body with oxygen, adrenaline and hormones that your body can use to fuel its fight or flight. When this happens:
♦ Your breathing changes from normal slow deep breaths to fast little breaths. Your body does this because your brain has told it to stop using up the oxygen for strong breaths and send it to the muscles to they can run or fight.
When this happens you might feel puffed or a bit breathless. You also might feel the blood rush to your face and your face become warm.
♦ If you don’t fight or flee, the oxygen builds up and the carbon dioxide drops.
This can make you feel dizzy or a bit confused.
♦ Your heart beats faster to get the oxygen around the body.
Your heart can feel like it’s racing and you might feel sick.
♦ Fuel gets sent to your arms (in case they need to fight) and your legs (in case they need to flee).
Your arms and legs might tense up or your muscles might feel tight.
♦ Your body cools itself down (by sweating) so it doesn’t overheat if it has to fight or flee
You might feel a bit sweaty.
♦ Your digestive system – the part of the body that gets the nutrients from the food you eat – shuts down so that the fuel it was using to digest your food can be used by your arms and legs in case you have to fight or flee. (Don’t worry though – it won’t stay shut down for long.)
You might feel like you have butterflies in your tummy. You might also feel sick, as though you’re going to vomit, and your mouth might feel a bit dry.
As you can see, there are very real reasons for your body feeling the way it does when you have anxiety. It’s all because your amygdala – that fierce warrior part of your brain – is trying to protect you by getting your body ready to fight or flee. Problem is – there’s nothing to fight or flee. Don’t worry though, there are things we can do about this.’
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Explain how common anxiety in kids is.
Anxiety in kids is common. About 1 in 8 kids have struggled with anxiety – so let them know that in their class, there’s a good chance that 3 or 4 other kids would know exactly what they’re going through because they’ve been through it before. Maybe they’re going through it right now.
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Give it a name.
‘Now that you understand that your anxiety feelings come from the ‘heroic warrior’ part of your brain, let’s give it a name.’ Let your child pick the name and ask them what they think of when they picture it. This will help them to feel as though something else is the problem, not them. It also demystifies their anxiety. Rather than it being a nameless, faceless ‘thing’ that gets in their way, it’s something contained – with a name and a look.
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Now get them into position.
‘The problem with anxiety is that [whatever their ‘heroic warrior’ is called – for the moment, let’s say, ‘Zep’] Zep is calling all the shots but we know that you’re really the boss. Zep actually thinks it’s protecting you, so what you need to do is let it know that you’ve got this and that it can relax. When you get those anxious feelings, that means Zep is taking over and getting ready to keep you safe. It doesn’t think about it at all – it just jumps in and goes for it. What you need to do is to let it know that you’re okay.
The most powerful thing you can do to make yourself the boss of your brain again is breathe. It sounds so simple – and it is. Part of the reason you feel as you do is because your breathing has gone from strong and slow and deep to quick and shallow. That type of breathing changes the balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide in your body. Once your breathing is under control, Zep will stop thinking he has to protect you and he’ll settle back down. Then, really quickly after that, you’ll stop feeling the way you do.’
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And breathe.
Breathe deeply and slowly. Hold your breath just for a second between breathing in and breathing out. Make sure the breath is going right down into your belly – not just into your chest. You can tell because your belly will be moving. Do this about 5 to 10 times.
Practice before bed every day. Remember that Zep, the warrior part of your brain, has been protecting you for your entire life so it might take a little bit of practice to convince Zep to relax. But keep practicing and you’ll be really good at it in no time. You and that warrior part of your brain will be buddies – but with you in control.One way to practice is by putting a soft toy on your child’s belly when they lie down. If the toy is moving up and down, their breathing is perfect.
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Practice mindfulness.
An abundance of scientific research has demonstrated the profound effects of mindfulness. MRI studies have shown that practicing mindfulness increases the density of gray matter in the brain, providing relief and protection from stress, anxiety and depression. See here for more information.
Mindfulness doesn’t have to be complicated. Essentially, it’s being aware of the present moment, and there are plenty of fun ways introduce children to mindfulness.
Start by explaining that anxiety comes about because of worry about the future and what might happen. Sometimes these thoughts happen in the background – we don’t even know they’re there. Mindfulness helps you to have control over your brain so you can stop it from worrying about things it doesn’t need to. It trains your brain to stay in the here and now. The brain is like a muscle and the more you exercise it the stronger it gets.
It sounds easy enough but minds quite like to wander so staying in the moment can take some practice. Here’s the how:
- Close your eyes and notice your breathing. How does the air feel as you draw it inside you? Notice the sensation of the air, or your belly rising and falling. Notice your heart beating. If your mind starts to wander, come back to this.
- Now, what can you hear? What can you feel outside of you and inside your body? If your mind starts to wander, focus on your breathing again.
Remember that anxiety in kids is very treatable but it might take time. Explain to your child that his or her very clever and very protective brain might need some convincing that just because it thinks there’s trouble coming, doesn’t mean there is. Keep practising and they’ll get there.
A Book for Kids About Anxiety …
‘Hey Warrior’ is a book for children to help them understand anxiety and to find their ‘brave’. It explains why anxiety feels the way it does, and it will teach them how they can ‘be the boss of their brain’ during anxiety, to feel calm. It’s not always enough to tell kids what to do – they need to understand why it works. Hey Warrior does this, giving explanations in a fun, simple, way that helps things make sense in a, ‘Oh so that’s how that works!’ kind of way, alongside gorgeous illustrations. (See here for the trailer.)
Great article thank you. We are expats and fly fairly frequently but our children have become terrified (so have I) of flying with the recent plane accidents etc. do you have any tips for flying anxiety and reassuring them that we are safe?
Many thanks
If your kids are being scared by the recent crashes, that’s completely understandable. It’s very normal to overlay real life incidents onto your own personal experience. One way to counter this The key is to point out the differences (because they’re looking at the similarities) – different airline, different pilot, different route etc.
what do you suggest for OCD/ruminating thoughts?
Here is an article on rumination and how to stop it. Hope it helps … https://www.heysigmund.com/depression-risk-factor/
An amazing article I have included it as a link in my latest post! I love mindfulness too
Thank you for sharing the article! I’m very grateful. (And mindfulness is amazing isn’t it.)
[…] is a great article on Anxiety in Children called ‘Anxiety in Kids: How to Turn it Around and Protect Them For Life‘. If you child is feeling anxious I suggest you read […]
[…] Hey Sigmund doles out some great advice in Anxiety in Kids: How to Turn it Around and Protect Them for Life. Advice that could be as effective for anxious parents as it is for […]
This is a brilliant article. My son is 9 and has huge anxiety issues. He is autistic but high functioning which causes anxiety but he also suffers with anxiety on top of that. He is only just back at school after having not attended for around 3 months because of anxiety, he has regular panic attacks and will be physically sick when he is worried. Before he started junior school he was being sick every single day during the 6 week holiday period leading up to the start of term. The problem we have is that it seems so ingrained in him for his body to react this way, sometimes there is no build up and he can have a full on panic attack and be sick over the smallest of things. Although we have tried some of the techniques you have used before I’ve never read anything that sets it all out so clearly and that I know my son will be able to understand and appreciate. I will definitely be reading this through with him. Thank you.
You’re so welcome. I’m so pleased this information has been a help to you and that you’re able to share it with your son. It sounds as though he’s had a tough time of it lately and that you’re doing an amazing job of supporting him through it. I hope this helps to bring him some comfort. Thanks for taking the time to make contact.
I thank you for this. Over the last couple of years I have been struggling with anxiety. I have come to realise it has been simmering away all of my life, exploding at times and leaving me confused and at times embarrassed, even ashamed. I fell and hurt my back at work when 19 weeks pregnant with our third child, our daughter, nearly four years ago (my goodness, has it really been that long now?) when severe and frequent panic attacks began. I didn’t realise what was going on, and this in its self is hard enough, but I misread my own body’s responses and took it as anger. I changed from the calm and inspirational, endlessly patient early childhood educator, to a panic stricken mother that couldn’t handle any situation and shamefully yelled at her beloved children. When I realised what was happening to me I started the current journey I am on. One of self understanding and self repair. I have begun to read, that and listen, to others and their stories of anxiety. Some are just interesting stories, others resonate and I have a lightening bolt moment. This is the brightest that bolt has been yet. This story has me not only understanding myself so much better, but gives me the tools to repair the damage I feel I have inflicted on my three amazing children (6, 4 & 3) with by inability to teach them about their emotional responses, to recognise them and understand them.
I’m so pleased this information has found its way into your hands. You sound like you are gaining a lot of wisdom and insight. I also want to say that when I read your comment, I thought to myself what a wonderful mum you sound like – so invested in making things better for your kids and you speak about them with such love. Parents are going to get things wrong – it’s in our job description. It also lets our kids know that it’s okay for them to make mistakes too which is such an important lesson. Keep doing what you’re doing. The insight you are gathering for yourself and for your kids will hold all of you in such a strong, loving place moving forward.
Thanks a ton! This indeed seems so acceptable from a teens point of view. Just wish I had used this a year ago with my son when he was going through this anxiety leading to
school refusal
You’re so welcome. Thank you for taking the time to make contact.
I had panic attacks for 2 yrs until I discovered for myself that my anxiety was ME. Once I understood how my body was reacting to stress then I learnt how to stop it in it’s tracts ( exactly as you have written). At the time it was all dreadful. I had to work, be a mother and a wife but somehow got through it without drugs..the biggest tip was to learn the art of breathing a longer breath out. In breath for 3 , out breath for 6 counts. As I did this my pulse slowed and muscles relaxed. It is a learned skill and needs practice and trust. Today I appreciate what anxiety taught me and now I help many children in my day to day work …anxiety in children , teens & adults is on the increase because we are not learning the skill to let go and to regulate what we see, do, ingest and not enough down time…life’s too precious and anxiety is our brain saying ‘ hello, I need a holiday from all this pressure….xxxxx
Wow! The wisdom and insight you’ve gained from your own anxiety is amazing. Beautifully said.
This is great info, reinforcing what I do with my 7yo daughter.. However I was particularly interested in the comment about competitiveness & anxiety. She always has to be first, perfect.. It is hard as I do want her to finish her work on time, win her race (who wouldn’t?!) but I would like to see enjoyment too!!
Will look into the ‘need to be first’ and anxiety link.
Thanks
That competitive streak is such a tough one in relation to anxiety. They put so much pressure on themselves! There’s a lot of very highly regarded research that’s recognising the importance of praising effort over achievement. What this does is take the focus off the outcome and puts it more onto the work that’s been done to get there. It’s called a ‘growth mindset’ and nurturing a growth mindset changes the way people (not just kids) approach challenge, exams and many aspects of life. Many schools are now adopting a growth mindset culture. I’m a huge fan. I do it with my own kids and I can see the difference it makes. Here is a link to an article that talks more about it https://www.heysigmund.com/mindset-improve-academic-performance-2/ . Hope this helps.
I have recently put my teenage daughter who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks on a natural liquid vitamin that has folate, iron as well as vitamin B…the supplements are sourced from natural sources and because it is liquid it is easily assimilated. I have seen an amazing difference in a matter of weeks.
That’s great to hear. Thank you for sharing this.
can you please tell me the name of this liquid vitamin and where to get it?
Thank you for this valuable blog. Creating the awareness of Anxiety in Children and providing clear simple proven tactics that may assist the child.
Danielle Sade
Thank you for taking the time to get in touch. It means a lot to me to know that the information is appreciated.
Thanks so much for all this enlightening information. I also find by telling the child that we all have a baby inside us n by lookin in the mirror into our eyes and saying baby sue go away n explain to the child that as adults we too have to do this as adults and that they not alone.hope it helps
Thank you for sharing this!
I just wanted to stop in and say thank you! I am a primary grade teacher; I see this frequently. When I first read this article a few weeks ago, I knew it was GOLD! Today, I handled a panic-attack situation that has taken me hours in the past. Using your words, and the advice from your article, everything was over in 30 minutes! The child made a full recovery and was curious about his amygdala. THANK YOU!
You’re so welcome. This is awesome! You’ve taught him something that will hold him so well moving forward. I love hearing about people, like you, who use this information and make such a difference. You’re school is lucky to have you. Thank you so much for letting me know!
hi
After reading and sharing your article on FB I had an epiphany. The root of so many of today’s problems are rooted in responses to anxiety and anxious feelings. I would like to develop a program that can be offered to students, parents and teachers through the PTA and school assemblies on the elementary school level that teaches what anxiety is and how to deal with it through simple yoga movements and meditation.
Would the author of this article be interested in discussing this with me? I think it is the root of bullying and it could make a huge difference in our and our kids lives
The program sounds like a wonderful idea. I would be very happy to discuss this with you.
hi Maria,
I am chairman of the PTA at my child’s school and if you do set something up we would love to use your program
Maria, I don’t yet have kids of my own, but I am a high-achieving adult who only a few years ago recognized the anxiety I’ve been coping with for the majority of my life. I also have a good friend who still struggles with anxiety and depression. She had a breakdown in college that ended up in hospitalization. I would love to be part of a bigger awareness campaign about anxiety in kids and teens, because that’s where it needs to be addressed. “The Chemistry of Calm” is a book that helped me immensely, as well as Eckart Tolle’s “The Power of Now.” Please let me know how I can help.
How do you know if your child is suffering with anxiety? I’ve had it myself recently it’s a horrible feeling.
It certainly is a horrible feeling. Here is a link that explains the symptoms in kids and will give you an idea of what to look for. http://www.kidshelp.com.au/grownups/news-research/hot-topics/anxiety.php There will be things you notice – clingy, worried, sick tummy, headache, teary, trouble going to school; and then physical symptoms that you might have to ask them about. I hope this helps.
Hi thanks for that it’s good to know what to look out for. My eldest boy is 9 and he tends to wake up really early like 4am sometimes and says he can’t sleep, he also gets very teary about things. He’s a very smart boy doing very well academically and is very sporty and popular and seems happy most of the time so it probably isn’t this. I just don’t joke why he can’t sleep properly. Thanks again.
Ellie, I was all the things you’re describing, and very anxious as a child! All that success is very stressful to maintain!!!
Hi Elle, I have
Very similar issues with my little boy. He is extremely clever, very sporty and uber competitive. He has been getting up very early, is easily tearfull, has started day dreaming a lot and has resently been complaining of stomachache when at school. Some American doctors have done some research resently to say competitive natured children are more prone to anxiety. I have enrolled my boy in to mindfulness childrens yoga class which I can attend with him and it is making a world of difference. X x
Hi ya thanks I’ll have to look into it. Sounds just like my boy he’s a bit of a perfectionist and gets annoyed when he does things wrong in school and at home bless him. I hope all goes well for your son and it helps him.
I really appreciated a lot of what you’ve discussed in this article. Loved the way you described the amygdala.
But from a personal perspective, I have to say, it is disheartening to see the symptoms for anxiety that you list, mentioned in the way you list them. Because sadly, all those symptoms? They are all symptoms of physical ailments that children can have, many of which can also cause anxiety (nutritional deficiencies, celiac disease, and food allergies, as a few examples)
But when parents, and their doctors (unfortunately), focus on ‘anxiety causes physical symptoms,’ they often seem to lose sight of the fact that ‘physical problems can cause anxiety AND other physical symptoms.’ IMO, whenever a doctor claims that a child’s anxiety is causing physical symptoms, they really need to be confirming some of this with some physical tests.
This has personally affected our family. Anxiety caused by celiac disease was ignored in children in the family, even when they had physical symptoms (like stomach aches, headaches, clinginess). Some doctors refused to test children in the family for the disease because the children had anxiety, so their stomach pain MUST be caused by the anxiety and couldn’t possibly have a physical cause.
When we finally were able to get tested, we ended up with every person but one, in three generations, who had the disease, many of whom had been ignored because they had either anxiety or depression, so any physical symptom they had was obviously ’caused’ by the mental issue, as far as doctors were concerned.
I’m not denying that mental difficulties can cause physical symptoms. I just think it’s important for us parents to understand that anxiety existing in conjunction with physical symptoms is a correlation, NOT a causation. Our childrens’ doctors need prove causation, or at least make a very good case for it, before they dismiss any possible physical causes.
Because I am meeting more and more parents with children who have chronic pain and their doctors – quite often doing not a single test and only talking with the child – are diagnosing the cause as school anxiety. And these kids suffer for years before they finally get a true diagnosis for what was causing the pain.
I’m sorry you’ve have the struggle you’ve had to find an appropriate diagnosis for the children in your family. This article is about anxiety and what anxiety does to your body. The symptoms outlined are all symptoms of anxiety. Anxiety CAUSES these physical symptoms – causation, not correlation – and this understanding is very important in being able to manage the symptoms. Anxiety triggers the fight or flight response without real cause and this initiates a physiological response. Managing the anxiety (and the fight or flight response) eases the physiological symptoms.
That’s not to say that anxiety is the only cause of these symptoms. This article is a discussion of ‘this is why you feel the way you do during an anxiety attack, and ways to manage that’ and was never intended to be a discussion of everything these symptoms can indicate. In trying to get to the bottom of the meaning of any symptoms, parents and doctors have to start somewhere and generally the best start is the one that’s the least invasive, which makes very good sense. A parent’s intuition is incredibly powerful and if something doesn’t feel right in relation to a diagnosis, it’s important to seek further advice. It’s really unfortunate that the doctors your family sought help from refused to test the children. I can hear your frustration and disappointment and I would certainly feel the same. Your feelings are very valid. There are of course many great doctors who would be more responsive to the concerns of parents than that and who would place a lot of stock in the wisdom of parents in relation to their own children. I’m pleased you were able to get to the bottom of what was causing the problems in your family.
Thank you! Very helpful information to assist students deal with anxiety in my middle school classroom!
You’re so welcome. You’re students are lucky to have you.
[…] resources to help reduce the impact of anxiety disorders. The Helpline number is 08444 775 774. Anxiety in kids: how to turn it around Helpguide.org: Treatment of GAD NHS Choices: Treatment of GAD NICE […]
This article is very helpful! I don’t have any kids but I suffer from anxiety due to a move that I have made to another state away from family and friends to be with my partner. I like how it is broken down and explains what is going on in the brain. After reading this I am feeling very comfortable and happy. Thank you!
You’re very welcome. I’m so pleased the information was able to make sense of things for you. Information can be a powerful thing can’t it. Thank you for letting me know.
[…] finished reading Anxiety in Kids: How to Turn it Around and Protect Them for Life and if you haven’t yet, DO IT! Such a great read with great advice on how to help your little […]
Fantastically put. My son suffers from severe anxiety with OCD tendencies and SPD. We have used all of these techniques and they work wonderfully. His anxiety is called “Tricky-Sticky” and everyday he works very hard at being the boss!
I love the name your son has given to his anxiety! I’m so pleased the techniques have worked – kids can be pretty amazing with the right information can’t they! You sound like a great team.
Thank you for posting this article. My 20 year challenged son is having some extreme difficulties with anxiety that manifests itself in extreme motor tic behavior to expend the excess energy. This article taught me a lot! I am going to sit down with him & explain some of the ways he could take back control. It is affecting his whole life at the moment. Thank you!
You’re so welcome. I’m sorry to hear that your son is struggling like this and I’m so pleased that you’re going to share the information with him. I hope it is able to offer him some comfort. If the anxiety is really taking hold, a doctor may be able to offer some relief. You sound like a great support for him.
Do you see or do much around anxiety during or after pregnancy or in babys? We have a large African community and feature pregnancy and their babys.
Many thanks
dr Nic
Anxiety can certainly take hold during or after pregnancy and in babies, though I haven’t personally worked with babies. It sounds like important work that you’re doing.
Thank you!
As a school nurse, I see kids struggling with anxiety every day, some diagnosed but most not. For some it is debilitating. I refer them to specialists, but (as another person mentioned) the wait is practically unbearable for the student and parents. I try to give them hope and explain what is happening, but now I have a new way to explain it! Thank you so much for giving me the words! I will refer to your site often and will share it with as many people as possible!
You’re so welcome. I’m so pleased the information has found its way to you. Your school is so lucky to have you!
Thank you so much for this article. My son almost 15 is in the process now being diagnosed with anxiety. It has been very difficult watching him having these attacks, but we are all doing everything we can now to help him, both at home, in school and meeting up with a therapist as well. We were thinking medication but last night we had a great talk, were I used logical explenations like you are posting in your article and I really got through it made me think that maybe we can do this without medications. So many thanks for putting it out there so simple and logical it will be very helpful in the process of taking back control 😉
You’re so welcome. Kids can do amazing things with the right information. I’m so pleased this information found its way to you. It’s wonderful that you have a relationship where you can talk and your son will listen. Keep talking – it sounds as though you are making an enormous difference.
Hi there, this is a brilliant article and it has really helped me with my son who is 6. Have you considered putting this information into an illustrated children’s book format? I have been looking for books for my son about panic attacks, and all I have found are books that touch briefly on all feelings, books about fears, and books about nervousness. None of those help when he has anxiety for seemingly no reason at all. This would be an amazing children’s book and I know many parents who would purchase it.
I’m so pleased this has helped with your son. A few people have asked for a book version so I’m working on that. Thank you for your encouragement.
[…] Anxiety in Kids, by Hey Sigmund. After a week talking two kids AND myself down from the proverbial ledge, this was both timely and helpful. Anxiety is such a bear! […]
[…] Understand Childhood Anxiety. An article I read recently has really helped me understand the science behind Childhood Anxiety and that goes a long way towards helping me help Ethan more. Which is a win/win for me! Speaking about science…it’s my favorite subject in school and it’s really fun and interesting. You can read that article here. […]
Very interesting. My 8 year old has recently started to have some tics which I believe are down to anxiety as she is a ´worrier´ by character and there are a lot of changes coming up in the future. Do you think your methods can work for tics. At the moment she has a head flick and sniff … she had similar tics when she was 3 and they went away after a year. We have talked through all her worries and once we started to talk it was apparent she is bottling up a lot of anxiety. She has also started to wake a lot in the night when she has always been a good sleeper and wants to sleep in a room with her little sisters despite having her own more grown up room. Do you think your methods can help with anxiety tics?
The techniques are useful for any anxiety. It’s important to make sure that there’s nothing else going on, so I would recommend talking to a doctor just to rule anything else out. If it’s anxiety, the methods will certainly help but if your daughter’s anxiety starts to feel like it’s worsening a counsellor might be able to help her with other strategies to manage her anxiety. It’s great that you’re talking to her about her worries. It’s so important. We can all be prone to bottling things up and when we do that, things seem worse. They can also come out as physical symptoms. The more she can talk to you the better but of course, you don’t want to push too hard. Just be there – sometimes she’ll take you up on having a chat and sometimes she might not. You’re so important to her in this and you can make such a bit difference. Don’t underestimate that. Just let her talk, validate her, explain what’s happening with her body when she has an anxiety attack, try the techniques and talk through the things she’s worrying about. Things tend to grow when we keep them inside. I hope your daughter is able to find some relief soon.
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Thank you for putting this in writing. I’ve used most of these techniques with my daughter, but you have explained them much better than I could!
But nobody could DO them with your daughter better than you could! I’m so pleased the article has helped.