A Beautiful Mind
It’s as simple as the weather forecast. Is lá breá cúnamh do chách.
Its an Irish saying..”A fine day is a help for all.” If you see rain, you stay inside. If you see sunshine, you venture out. If the weather is fine, and the roads are good, you’ll make today the day that you venture out and take a little trip.
I work in clandestine realms. Shadowy and furtive by nature, I orbit in the background, the underbelly of your mind.
You will not see me coming.
I’ve infiltrated the velvet ropes and I have free reign over your unconscious landscape. I roam pathways and corridors that even you don’t know exist.
You cannot hear me coming.
I was born in a blizzard. On the shores of the frozen waters of the Great Lakes.
The lake that welcomed me here was old. She is the remains of an enormous glacier. Filled with the memories of a time when the great North American plains were much colder. She is a wise old lady lake for sure. I wouldn’t mess with her. Most would say that she was here before me and that she’d be here after me too.
In this blog, I’m going to encourage you to examine how you respond to fear?
How does it operate in your life?
How does it hold you back?
How does it move you forward?
How do you use fear, as a source of fuel?
How does it keep you in relationships and dynamics?
How does it participate in the status quo?
It’s been almost 12 years since you left me and this world. In that time I have had more than my fill of time to think about our life together and process where everything went wrong and what was right about it. After you first died, the house rang with emptiness and I was consumed with loneliness and fear. You know I had never been on my own — always with you and that I didn’t really know how to be alone and I was very afraid of the idea of being on my own. True to my BPD diagnosis, the fear of abandonment was excruciating for me. For the first six months I struggled to sleep at night because I was so afraid of the quietness of the house.
A messy life is a full life. If your kitchen is in a mess, that means you live out of it – and that means good fuel for your growing family. You don’t order fake out (yes that’s right, my phone autocorrected ‘take’ out to ‘fake’ out – even iPhone knows!) each night, and you sometimes even grill vegetables and pan fry chicken. It makes a mess. That mess is a byproduct of healthy bodies. You feed your family well. And the science behind that is clearly beneficial. Go you.
Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from a negative force. It’s your ability to adapt in a positive way to difficult situations. We are all wired for self-preservation. Our senses warn us of danger. Our bodies fight off disease and infection. And our beautiful minds protect us from harm with ways of coping such as denial and repression. Why then do we hear that internal “bad news” radio of ours, that seems to be stuck on the self-blame frequency? And what do we do about it to take better care of ourselves?