Emotional regulation is one of the most important building blocks for success and social and emotional wellbeing. It sits at the heart of everything that matters for children and adolescents – learning, behaviour, and the ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. Self-regulation will take time to develop and is not guaranteed. It will depend on the relationships and experiences young people are exposed to. In the meantime, things can get messy. For many young people, big feelings will drive big behaviour, which can be confusing and challenging for them and the adults who care for them, whether at home, school, or in the wider community. The more we understand the what, why, and how of feelings and the behaviours they fuel, the more we can respond to young people (and ourselves) more effectively and compassionately. Ultimately, our responses will nurture the vital foundations of self-regulation in children and their capacity to understand and express themselves, and engage more fully with the world.