Not everyone knows what a Lovemap is. It’s a field of study that mostly only people within psychology circles know about. However, analyzing someone’s Lovemap and understanding how it works is essential in trying to make that person fall in love you.
Dr. John Money, a famous American psychologist of Johns Hopkins University, first coined the term Lovemap in 1980. It is used to explain the code which is inside a human’s mind that causes them to fall in love with another person. In this article, I am going to show you how to use this to make a specific person you like fall in love with you.
What is This Code, Exactly?
As a person grows, little by little, he or she forms a subconscious guide to his or her ideal future partner. They begin to develop subliminal preference towards specific qualities and traits in the opposite sex.
Everything from our:
… influence, one way or another, our subliminal guide that is also known as “Lovemap”.
As an example, people who are shy have a high tendency to become attracted to people who exude confidence as their potential future spouse. These people’s subconscious reason that getting married to someone who has traits which they lack will make them complete.
Another example is if someone grows up without having a lot of money, they will naturally feel attracted to people who have more money than them. Subconsciously, they think that being with that kind of person will fulfill an aspect of their life that they lack.
This is how a person’s Lovemap operates. When there are enough specifications of a person’s Lovemap that are met, the person will consequently fall in love with them.
Use This If You Want Someone to Fall In Love With You
If you learned the specifications that are on the Lovemap of the person you want to fall in love with you, you can use this information to help you make him or her fall for you. There are two core things you need to keep in mind when matching someone’s Lovemap like this:
Negative Lovemap Specifications:
If you learned that the parents of the person you like regularly fight with each other because one of them drinks a lot, then you should realize that he or she will never be impressed if he or she finds out that you like to have one too many drinks every weekend. So you should display to this type of person that you have little time or respect for people who drink too much. By doing this, you will have displayed to their subconscious mind that you are a match for their Lovemap (at least in this one regard).
Positive Lovemap Specifications:
On the other hand, if the one you like grew up in an environment where their parents gave them a lot of affection, they’re more likely to be attracted to people who can be as affectionate as their parents. This is what they’re likely to look for in their future spouse. So, in such a situation if you were to display little affection to your own family, then their subconscious probably won’t see you as a perfect match to their Lovemap.
It’s important to take note that all of these happened at the subconscious level. The person wont be consciously aware of the specification that are on their own Lovemap. All that will happen is that from their interaction with different people, their subconscious will recognise that some people are a better match for them than others, and their subconscious will naturally draw them towards these people making them fall in love with the one that matches the most specifications on their Lovemap.
This is the reason why people fall in love and can’t quite figure out why they fell in love with that person. Our Lovemap basically works in the background making judgments about the people that we interact with – all of this without us realizing it’s actually happening.
This Is Where a Lot of People Go Wrong
Most people have the idea that to make someone fall in love with them, they should be reading guides and books on how to dress, talk, and flirt with the opposite ex.
Although being able to do these kinds of things properly does add to a person’s level of attractiveness, if they broke an important Lovemap specification of the person, they will most likley never be able to make him or her fall in love with them …no matter how well they dress or flirt with them..
You also need to remember that you not only have to match the specifications that the person is looking for in a future spouse but also to avoid matching the specifications in their Lovemap that turn them off (like in the case above with the person who is turned off by people who drink too much). This will take a bit of research on your part, but if you do it properly, you won’t just have a person attracted to you …but instead that person will be subconsciously programmed to see you as THE ONE.
I Don’t Think I’m Attractive Enough for the Person!
Some of you might ask:
“What if the person I like is looking for someone who’s really good looking and I’m just an average-looking person?” Does this mean that making them fall in love me is never going to happen?”
Absolutely not and here’s why …
When someone puts more emphasis on good looks, the reality is that they actually don’t really want someone with good looks at all … but instead they’re looking to satisfy another unmet specification on their Lovemap which is unrelated to a person’s looks.
When a person fusses about looking for a partner who’s very attractive, it’s more likely that they only want someone good looking because they:
- Want to be thought of as cool
- Want to be admired
- Don’t think they are attractive themselves
The above three unmet needs (or even just one of them) is recognized by their subconscious and so their subconscious mind reasons that if they were to get someone who is good-looking, it would be an indirect way of fixing that unmet need.
Let’s say that there’s a need for the person to be admired. We don’t know if there was something that happened in his or her past that gave them the need to feel wanted or admired. It could be that:
- They didn’t have many friends in school
- They were neglected when they were a child
- They feel inferior to other people and they feel that getting a good looking partner would be able to compensate for this
The reality though is that getting someone who is good-looking is only ONE way of fixing this unmet need. If they were to fix this unmet need via another means, they would no longer put as much weight on the idea that they must get with someone that’s good-looking. And so, the “necessity” of getting someone that’s good looking becomes obsolete. If the person has a need to feel admired – look for ways to make them feel admired. If the person feels neglected – look for ways to make them feel wanted.
If you think that there’s one component in that person’s Lovemap that’s an obstacle for you and you feel like you can’t satisfy it then look for a different way around it. This way, you can provide him or her with the same feeling even if you don’t necessarily have the actual thing itself.
Is it Ethical to Manipulate Love?
If we’re talking about whether tricking the person you like into loving you is ethical or not, then I think it depends on the situation. If you genuinely love the person and intend on treating them well …then giving them a push to make them fall in love with you is in my opinion an ethical thing to do.
However, if you’re trying to use this information to make someone fall in love with you just to stroke your ego or get them into bed …then you’re clearly crossing the line and using this information to make them fall in love with you is clearly unethical. Ultimately, how a person uses this information depends on the character of that person.
About the Author: John Alex Clark
John Alex Clark is a Relationship Coach & NLP Practitioner from Dublin Ireland. He is also an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker, and an author.
His background in relationship coaching, neuro-linguistic-programming, science, psychology and perhaps most importantly – innovation …have created a unique skill-set which he has concentrated mainly in the field of love psychology. He is recognized as the worlds leading expert in the field of Lovemaps (the field of study into how to make someone fall in love with you).
He is the founder of the relationship advice website www.RelationshipPsychology.com and is the author of the two best-selling relationship programs:
His book THE LOVEMAP CODE is the first book to be released on the topic of Lovemaps since Dr. John Moneys (the man who coined the term Lovemap) death in 2006 and marks a major step forward in our understanding of this field.
You can find John Alex at RelationshipPsychology.com, and check out the main sections of his website “How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You” and “How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone” …and learn more about him at About Me.