Where the Science of Psychology Meets the Art of Being Human

When It’s Time to Make A Change

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Too often people get barrelled along by automatic thoughts and behaviours. When enough is enough and it’s time for a change, the degree of change can be overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be.

People aren’t one-dimensional. We are a product of thoughts, actions and feelings. To effect change, we only need to change one – a thought, a feeling or a behaviour. The other two will catch up when they become the best option.

One way people undermine their capacity for change is by trying to change too much all at once. It just gets too hard. When things get too hard, the old and familiar send out their siren’s song, persuading us back to old habits with astounding ease. It’s just the way it is. The more willpower that’s needed, the quicker it will be spent. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. 

But there is another way.

Depending on the circumstances, it’s likely that there will be one aspect – a thought, a feeling, or a behaviour – that will be easier and more amenable to change. Choose that one and change will happen. 

If you don’t want to be the person you were this time last year, or last week or five minutes ago then don’t be.

The change doesn’t have to be absolute. Just change one thing – one small thing – and something new will come. It doesn’t matter how minor or trivial the change may seem. Just start, and you’ll already be ahead of the ones who decided it wasn’t worth it.

Every choice you make is the one you want to be making. Think about that.

Everything you need will already be inside you. Same place it’s been all along all along. You’ve got this.

 

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Hey Warrior - A book about anxiety in children.








Hey Sigmund on Instagram

Anxiety will tell them a deficiency story - that t Anxiety will tell them a deficiency story - that they aren't brave enough, strong enough, powerful enough - but you know they are so much more than enough. You know it with everything in you. 
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Sometimes they will believe this deficiency story, and they will hold themselves back from doing brave, hard things. This is when anxiety will slide in and try to steal their capacity for courage right from under them, so this is when they need us to show up and stand big, as the guardians of their brave. 
.
Protect their courage by believing in it so much, that they won't have a choice but to believe it too. The brain wires according to the experiences it is exposed to, so think of avoidance and courage as muscles. The ones they use the most will strengthen. If you support avoidance, their need to avoid will strengthen. If you move them towards brave behaviour - as distressing as this might be - you are exposing them to the experiences that will fortify their truth - that they can feel anxious, and do brave. 
.
It's okay if this happens in tiny steps. It's not the size of the movement towards brave behaviour, it's the direction that matters most. Move them towards brave, lovingly, gently, and confidently - because you know that 'brave' is in them, and anxiety doesn't change that a bit. When you are faced with the choice between believing in their anxiety or believing in their brave choose their brave, every time, and guard it with everything in you, because it's beautiful, and life-giving, and it's in them. 
.
.
.
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Anxiety will tell them a deficiency story - that they aren't brave enough, strong enough, powerful enough - but you know they are so much more than enough. You know it with everything in you.
.
Sometimes they will believe this deficiency story, and they will hold themselves back from doing brave, hard things. This is when anxiety will slide in and try to steal their capacity for courage right from under them, so this is when they need us to show up and stand big, as the guardians of their brave.
.
Protect their courage by believing in it so much, that they won't have a choice but to believe it too. The brain wires according to the experiences it is exposed to, so think of avoidance and courage as muscles. The ones they use the most will strengthen. If you support avoidance, their need to avoid will strengthen. If you move them towards brave behaviour - as distressing as this might be - you are exposing them to the experiences that will fortify their truth - that they can feel anxious, and do brave.
.
It's okay if this happens in tiny steps. It's not the size of the movement towards brave behaviour, it's the direction that matters most. Move them towards brave, lovingly, gently, and confidently - because you know that 'brave' is in them, and anxiety doesn't change that a bit. When you are faced with the choice between believing in their anxiety or believing in their brave choose their brave, every time, and guard it with everything in you, because it's beautiful, and life-giving, and it's in them.
.
.
.
#anxietyinchildren #childanxiety #childdevelopment #parentingadvice #anxietyawareness #parenting #anxietyrelief #parenthood #anxietysupport #positiveparenting #motherhoodcommunity #parentingtips #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #parentingtip #mindfulparenting #heyawesome #heywarrior #heysigmund
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