karenyoung_heysigmund
Here are 2 of my favourite snaps from the break. The first is outside what is now my favourite pizza place in Melbourne (the world?) @mattonapoletanopizzeria. The vibes were high (thanks fam), the pizza was elite (I do not use that word casually), and the staff were fabulous and made the night properly memorable.
The second pic is on New Year’s Eve. But there’s a story: I had an unexpected, (massive!) project land on me with a deadline that clearly thought 2026 was still a few months off.
Cue late nights, early mornings, and a very professional sideways slide into NYE - deadline met with three hours to spare.
That day, without me asking, my whole family brought everything a woman needs to make a tight deadline and NYE - snacks, tech support, pep talks, jokes, an eleventh-hour dash for an external hard drive (I did ask for that one), a loan of a laptop when mine decided it was done with 2025, and drinks on ice for when that project was done.
My NYE started late, but it was a cracker. I loved it. (Missed you @annacyoung and @pbarnes89 .)
I talk a lot about not rescuing kids from things they can do themselves, and I believe in that deeply.
I also believe in showing up for them on big days, hard days, busy days, and the days they’re already doing enough.
Turns out, they were watching all along.
Sometimes resilience is built by stretching. Sometimes it’s built by being backed.
Because if we want kids who are brave AND kind, generous, and can see what others need through the noise, we have to be that for them first, by showing up for them when they’re already doing enough.
Turns out they were watching all along.
(And before this looks like we always have our sh*t together as a family, we also had a proper family blow-up on the holiday. Because we’re a family. A loving one with an everythingness that is real and beautiful and human and hard some days. One that loves deeply, feels big, and has opinions, histories, tired bodies, full tanks, and needs that crash into each other sometimes. And as loving families also do, then we repaired, reconnected, and found our way back. Because that’s the work of being human together.)♥️
![Anxiety on the first days or weeks of school is so normal. Why? Because all growthful, important, brave things come with anxiety.
Think about how you feel on their first day of school, or before a job interview, or a first date, or a tricky conversation when you’re setting a boundary. They all come with anxiety.
We want our kids to be able to do all of these things, but this won’t happen by itself.
Resilience is built - one anxious little step after another. These anxious moments are necessary to learn that ‘I can feel anxious, and do brave.’ ‘I can feel anxious and still do what I need to do.’
As long as the are safe, the anxiety they feel in the first days or weeks of school aren’t a sign that something is wrong. It’s part of their development and a sign that something so right is happening - they’re learning that they can handle anxiety.
Even if they handle it terribly, that’s okay. We all wobble before we walk. Our job is not to protect them from the wobble. If we do, they won’t get to the walking part.
To support them, remind them that this is scary-safe, not scary-dangerous. Then, ‘Is this a time for you to be safe or brave?’
Then, ask yourself, ‘Is this something dangerous or something growthful?’ ‘Is my job to protect them from the discomfort of that growth, or show them they are so very capable, and that they can handle this discomfort?’
Even if they handle it terribly, as long as they’re not avoiding it, they’re handling it. That matters.
Remember, anxiety is a feeling. It will come and then it will go. It might not go until you leave, but we have to give them the opportunity to feel it go.
Tomorrow and the next day and the next might be worse - that’s how anxiety works. And then it will ease.
This is why we don’t beat anxiety by avoiding it. We beat it by outlasting it. But first, we have to handle our distress at their distress.
We breathe, then we love and lead:
‘I know you feel […] Of course you do. You’re doing something big and this is how big things feel sometimes. It’s okay to feel like this. School is happening but we have five minutes. Do you want me to listen to your sad, or give you a hug, or help you distract from it?’❤️](https://www.heysigmund.com/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed-pro/img/placeholder.png)
