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by Karen Young

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Content Share Guidelines

Content Share Guidelines

I love you sharing the work on Hey Sigmund as much as I love you reading it.

All work published on Hey Sigmund is protected by international copyright laws, so there are just a few things to keep in mind:

•  You are welcome to share links to any content contained in Hey Sigmund. The truth is, we’ll love you for it.

•  You are welcome to quote up to 75 words of content from any article in your own blog articles as long as you attribute ownership as follows:

– Articles that do not have a specified author are written by me, so for these articles, please attribute Karen Young and www.heysigmund.com as the source and create a link to the original Hey Sigmund article.

– Articles written by guest authors will be noted as such either in the title or in the ‘About the Author’ section at the end of the article. For these articles, please attribute the author noted in the bio with a link back to the original Hey Sigmund article.

•  Unless you obtain my prior written consent (which may be granted in exceptional circumstances) the republication or reprinting of full or substantial sections of any articles word for word on the web is not permitted, even if you provide full credit and links back to Hey Sigmund.

•  You are not permitted to profit from the use of my content.

•  This one goes without saying but since we’re talking anyway … you cannot claim any content on Hey Sigmund as your own original ideas.

•  If you are wanting to print hard copies other than for personal use, please contact me for consent (which will never be withheld for a good cause).

Online Reading Aloud of Books is not permitted.

The reading of Hey Warrior, Hey Awesome, or But We’re Not Lions out loud and sharing this online in any format, whether through Facebook, YouTube or on your own website is a breach of international copyright and is not permitted.

Thank you for your co-operation and most importantly, thank you for sharing the information and for keeping the conversation going.

2 Comments

James P White

Hi,
I would just like to say that I love your weekley newsletters and your facebook page. As a qualified Psychotherapist and Hynpotherapist currently still studying and learning every day I have learned lots of great ideas that assist me in my daily practice and also great information that I pass on to my friends and clients. Thank you so much for sharing and caring.

Kindest Regards
James White

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When our kids or teens are struggling, it can be hard to know what they need. It can also be hard ...

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Oct 14

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When our kids or teens are struggling, it can be hard to know what they need. It can also be hard for them to say. It can be this way for all of us - we don't always know what we need from the people around us. It might be space, or distraction, or silence, or maybe acknowledging and being there is enough. Sometimes we might need to know that the people we love aren't taking our need for space, or our confusion or anger or sadness personally, and that they are still there within reach. ⠀⠀ What can be easier is thinking about what other people might need. Asking this when they are calm can invite a different perspective and can give you some insight into what they need to hear when they are going through similar. Don't worry if you just get a shrug, or a disheartened, 'I don't know'. They don't need to know, and neither do we. The question in itself might be enough to open a new way through any sense of 'stuckness' or helplessness they might be feeling. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #parenthood #parenting #positiveparenting #parentingtips #childdevelopment #parentingadvice #parentingtip #mindfulparenting #positiveparentingtips #neurodevelopment #parentingteens

karenyoung_heysigmund

Give them space to talk but you don’t need to fix anything. You’ll want to, but the answers are ...

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Oct 11

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Give them space to talk but you don’t need to fix anything. You’ll want to, but the answers are in them, not us. Sometimes the answer will be to feel it out, or push for change, or feel the futility of it all so the feeling can let go, knowing it’s done it’s job - it’s recruited support, or raised awareness that something isn’t right. Sometimes the feelings might be seismic but the words might be gone for a while. That’s okay too. Do they want to start with whatever words are there? Or talk about something else? Or go for a walk with you? Watch a movie with you? Or do a spontaneous, unnecessary drive thru with you just because you can - no words, no need to explain - just you and them and car music for the next 20 minutes. The more you can validate what they’re feeling (maybe, ‘Today was big for you wasn’t it’) and give them space to feel, the more they can feel the feeling, understand the need that’s fuelling it, and experiment with ways to deal with it. Sometimes, ‘dealing with it’ might mean acknowledging that there is something that feels big or important and a little out of reach right now, and feeling the fullness and futility of that. Part of building resilience is recognising that some days are rubbish, and that sometimes those days last for longer than they should, but we get through. First we feel floored, then we feel stuck, then we shift because the only choices we have we have are to stay down or move, even when moving hurts. Then, eventually we adjust - either ourselves, the problem, or to a new ‘is’. But the learning comes from experience. I wish our kids never felt pain, but we don’t get to decide that. We don’t get to decide how our children grow, but we do get to decide how much space and support we give them for this growth. We can love them through it but we can’t love them out of it. I wish we could but we can’t. So instead of feeling the need to silence their pain, make space for it. In the end we have no choice. Sometimes all the love in the world won’t be enough to put the wrong things right, but it can help them feel held while they move through the pain enough to find their out breath, and the strength that comes with that.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Speaking to the courage that is coming to life inside them helps to bring it close enough for them ...

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Oct 6

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Speaking to the courage that is coming to life inside them helps to bring it close enough for them to touch, and to imagine, and to step into, even if doesn’t feel real for them yet. It will become them soon enough but until then, we can help them see what we see - a brave, strong, flight-ready child who just might not realise it yet. ‘I know how brave you are.’ ‘I love that you make hard decisions sometimes, even when it would be easier to do the other thing.’ ‘You might not feel brave, but I know what it means to you to be doing this. Trust me – you are one of the bravest people I know.’ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #neurodevelopment #positiveparenting #parenting #parenthood #neuronurtured #parentingtip #childdevelopment #braindevelopment #mindfulparenting #parentingtips #parentingadvice

karenyoung_heysigmund

So often, our children will look to us for signs of whether they are brave enough, strong enough, ...

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Oct 5

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So often, our children will look to us for signs of whether they are brave enough, strong enough, good enough. Let your belief in them be so big, that it spills out of you and over to them and forms the path between them and their mountain. And then, let them know that the outcome doesn't matter. What matters is that they believe in themselves enough to try. Their belief in themselves might take time to grow, and that's okay. In the meantime, let them know you believe in them enough for both of you. Try, ‘I know this feels big and I know you can do it. What is one small step you can take? I’m right here with you.’♥️ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #neurodevelopment #positiveparenting #parenting #parenthood #neuronurtured #parentingtip #childdevelopment #braindevelopment #mindfulparenting

karenyoung_heysigmund

Anxiety will tell our kiddos a deficiency story. It will focus them on what they can't do and ...

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Oct 4

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Anxiety will tell our kiddos a deficiency story. It will focus them on what they can't do and turn them away from what they can. We know they are braver, stronger, and more powerful than they could ever think they are. We know that for certain because we’ve seen it before. We’ve seen them so held by anxiety, and we’ve seen them move through - not every time but enough times to know that they can. Even when those steps through are small and awkward and uncertain, they are brave. Because that’s how courage works. It’s fragile and strong, uncertain and powerful. We know that that about courage and we know that about them. Our job as their important adults is to give them the experiences that will help them know it too. This doesn't have to happen in big leaps. Little steps are enough, as long as they are forward. When their anxiety has them focused on what they can't do, focus them on what they can. By doing this, we are aligning with their capacity for brave, and bringing it into the light. Anxiety will have them believing that there are only two options - all or nothing; to do or not to do. So let's introduce a third. Let's invite them into the grey. This is where brave, bold beautiful things are built, one tiny step at a time. So what does this look like? It looks like one tiny step at a time. The steps can be so small at first - it doesn't matter how big they are, as long as they are forward. If they can't stay for the whole of camp, how much can they stay for? If they can't do the whole swimming lesson on their own, how much can they do? If they can't sleep all night in their own bed, how long can they sleep there for? If they can't do the exam on their own, what can they do? . When we do this, we align with their brave, and gently help it rise, little bit, by little bit. We give them the experiences they need to know that even when they feel anxious, they can do brave, and even when they feel fragile they are powerful.

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