Because sometimes the only diagnosis is ‘human’.
Every day there are stunning new insights into the human mind and the way we work, love, play, behave, relate, think and feel. We are learning more and more about what it means to be human, and how to master the art. Now more than ever, anybody who is any version of human has something to gain from the science of psychology.
This website contains the latest research and news in psychology. It attempts to bring psychology into the mainstream, unfolding the brilliance that happens within the scientific realm. We will explain what it all means and why it matters.
Some parts will be immediately relevant to your life, some parts less so but psychology is such a fascinating relevant science that at the very least you will have some excellent fodder for dinner table conversations.
The best of us is already in us, sometimes found, sometimes waiting to be. This website provides the tools to uncover what is waiting patiently beneath our skin to be discovered, or to make a life that is already beautiful, even more so.
I hope you enjoy the readings and find courageous, daring and simple ways to incorporate them into your life.
Karen began her career as a psychologist in private practice. She has worked extensively with children teens and families, and in educational and organisation settings. She has lectured and has a Masters in Gestalt Therapy. It is through her work with children, teens and families, that she learned the power of solid information when it is placed in the solid, loving hands of parents or any important person in the life of a child.
Karen created Hey Sigmund, an internationally popular online resource, as a way to provide contemporary, research-driven information on the art of being human, and being with humans. The website has a particular emphasis on strengthening the mental wellness of children and adolescents. It attracts millions of readers each year worldwide. The articles have been translated into a number of languages and have been published on various international sites.
Karen is often invited to comment by Australian and international media outlets, including The Project, and as a regular guest on ABC Radio. She is a sought-after speaker and consultant and works with schools, government bodies, and child and adolescent-focused organisations, both in Australia and overseas to build resources, implement procedures, and support the professional development of staff. She recently worked with Plan International Australia to create resources for parents in response to the recent Australian bushfires and the COVID-19 pandemic.
She is the author of four books, including the bestselling ‘Hey Warrior’ and ‘Hey Awesome’, which creatively assist children to understand and manage anxiety. The books have been translated into a number of languages and have sold more than 180,000 copies worldwide.
Karen lives in Australia and has two children and two stepchildren. Experience has taught her that people can do amazing things with the right information, psychology has something for everyone, jargon doesn’t, everyone has a story to tell, short bios are the longest to write, nobody has it all figured out and the best people to be around are the ones who already know this.
The articles, information and comments on the this website provide general information only and do not constitute advice in any way.
It is important to me that the information provided on this site is thoughtful, detailed, well-researched and relevant, but it is just a guide. What is best for you will depend on your personal history and circumstances. For this reason, if you require more support, information or guidance in relation to a particular issue, please speak with a medical practitioner or counsellor who will be able to take the time to understand the detail of you, your history and your circumstances, and use this to advise you on the most effective course of action.
If you are in need of more immediate support, please click here.
Business address: PO Box 511, Indooroopilly Qld 4069, Australia
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Lead with warmth and confidence: ‘Yes I know this feels big, and yes I know you can handle it.’
We’re not saying they’ll handle it well, and we’re not dismissing their anxiety. What we’re saying is ‘I know you can handle the discomfort of anxiety.’
It’s not our job to relive this discomfort. We’ll want to, but we don’t have to. Our job is to give them the experiences they need (when it’s safe) to let them see that they can handle the discomfort of anxiety.
This is important, because there will always be anxiety when they do something brave, new, important, growthful.
They can feel anxious and do brave. Leading with warmth and confidence is about, ‘Yes, I believe you that this feels bad, and yes, I believe in you.’ When we believe in them, they will follow. So often though, it will start with us.♥️
Sep 11
There are things we do because we love them, but that doesn’t mean they’ll feel loved because of those things.
Of course our kids know we love them, and we know they love us. But sometimes, they might feel disconnected from that feeling of being ‘loved by’. As parents, we might feel disconnected from the feeling of being ‘appreciated by’.
It’s no coincidence that sometimes their need to feel loved, and our need to feel appreciated collide. This collision won’t sound like crashing metal or breaking concrete. It will sound like anger, frustration, demanding, nagging.
It will feel like not mattering, resentment, disconnection. It can burst through us like meteors of anger, frustration, irritation, defiance. It can be this way for us and our young ones. (And our adult relationships too.)
We humans have funny ways of saying, ‘I miss you.’
Our ‘I miss you’ might sound like nagging, annoyance, anger. It might feel like resentment, rage, being taken for granted, sadness, loneliness. It might look like being less playful, less delighting in their presence.
Their ‘I miss you’ might look like tantrums, aggression, tears, ignoring, defiant indifference, attention-seeking (attention-needing). It might sound like demands, anger, frustration.
The point is, there are things we do because we love them - cleaning, the laundry, the groceries, cooking. And yes, we want them to be grateful, but feeling grateful and feeling loved are different things.
Sometimes the things that make them feel loved are so surprising and simple and unexpected - seeking them out for play, micro-connections, the way you touch their hair at bedtime, the sound of your laugh at their jokes, when you delight in their presence (‘Gosh I’ve missed you today!’ Or, ‘I love being your mum so much. I love it better than everything. Even chips. If someone said you can be queen of the universe or Molly’s mum, I’d say ‘Pfft don’t annoy me with your offers of a crown. I’m Molly’s mum and I’ll never love being anything more.’’)
So ask them, ‘What do I do that makes you feel loved?’ If they say ‘When you buy me Lego’, gently guide them away from bought things, and towards what you do for them or with them.♥️
Sep 4
We don’t have to protect them from the discomfort of anxiety. We’ll want to, but we don’t have to.
OAnxiety often feels bigger than them, but it isn’t. This is a wisdom that only comes from experience. The more they sit with their anxiety, the more they will see that they can feel anxious and do brave anyway. Sometimes brave means moving forward. Sometimes it means standing still while the feeling washes away.
It’s about sharing the space, not getting pushed out of it.
Our job as their adults isn’t to fix the discomfort of anxiety, but to help them recognise that they can handle that discomfort - because it’s going to be there whenever they do something brave, hard , important. When we move them to avoid anxiety, we potentially, inadvertently, also move them to avoid brave, hard, growthful things.
‘Brave’ rarely feels brave. It will feel jagged and raw. Sometimes fragile and threadbare. Sometimes it will as though it’s breathing fire. But that’s how brave feels sometimes.
The more they sit with the discomfort of anxiety, the more they will see that anxiety isn’t an enemy. They don’t have to be scared of it. It’s a faithful ally, a protector, and it’s telling them, ‘Brave lives here. Stay with me. Let me show you.’♥️
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#parenting #childanxiety #anxietyinkids #teenanxiety
Aug 31
We have to stop treating anxiety as a disorder. Even for kids who have seismic levels of anxiety, pathologising anxiety will not serve them at all. All it will do is add to their need to avoid the thing that’s driving anxiety, which will most often be something brave, hard, important. (Of course if they are in front of an actual danger, we help anxiety do its job and get them out of the way of that danger, but that’s not the anxiety we’re talking about here.)
The key to anxiety isn’t in the ‘getting rid of’ anxiety, but in the ‘moving with’ anxiety.
The story they (or we) put to their anxiety will determine their response. ‘You have anxiety. We need to fix it or avoid the thing that’s causing it,’ will drive a different response to, ‘Of course you have anxiety. You’re about to do something brave. What’s one little step you can take towards it?’
This doesn’t mean they will be able to ‘move with’ their anxiety straight away. The point is, the way we talk to them about anxiety matters.
We don’t want them to be scared of anxiety, because we don’t want them to be scared of the brave, important, new, hard things that drive anxiety. Instead, we want to validate and normalise their anxiety, and attach it to a story that opens the way for brave:
‘Yes you feel anxious - that’s because you’re about to do something brave. Sometimes it feels like it happens for no reason at all. That’s because we don’t always know what your brain is thinking. Maybe it’s thinking about doing something brave. Maybe it’s thinking about something that happened last week or last year. We don’t always know, and that’s okay. It can feel scary, and you’re safe. I would never let you do something unsafe, or something I didn’t think you could handle. Yes you feel anxious, and yes you can do this. You mightn’t feel brave, but you can do brave. What can I do to help you be brave right now?’♥️
Aug 17
