Strike a (Power) Pose – A Video

A proven way to feel more confident, more powerful, and less anxious in two minutes.

Transcript

  • Our minds and bodies are deeply connected. Our thoughts and feelings will influence what’s happening in our bodies, and vice-versa.
  • You would have experienced this just with your day to day experience. If you’re thinking angry thoughts, for example, or if you’re feeling upset about something, your body is more likely to be slower, stooped, more closed off to the world.
  • By changing our what we do with our bodies, we can actually influence the way we feel. Researcher Amy Cuddy found that if we hold a ‘power pose’ for two minutes, the chemistry of our body changes in ways that can make us feel stronger, more confident, less stressed and less anxious.
  • A power pose is expanding your posture in any way that makes you feel bigger. Think in terms of superheroes – Superman with arms out, chest tall, head high; Wonder Woman with your arms on your hips, legs apart, standing tall. Another power pose is the boss pose, where you sit back with your arms behind your head, chest out, head high.
  • The good news is that you don’t actually have to do these in front of people for them to influence your body chemistry. So, before an exam, a performance, or before you take to the field, find some space and hole a power pose for two minutes.
  • Two minutes of power posing increases testosterone (which helps you feel more dominant and powerful), and reduces cortisol (the stress hormone).
  • It also works the other way. When you make yourself smaller – arms crossed, body stooped or wilted, legs tightly crossed – this increases the stress hormone, and decreases testosterone. When this happens, it can cause you to feel less confident and more stressed.

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We don’t need the last word. We don’t need them to agree.

When there is a power struggle - we want … they want … we’re trying to convince them … they’re trying to convince us … - leave power on the table. It’s already yours because you’re the grown-up. You don’t need to convince them, and nothing they can do or say (or don’t do or say) will change that.

The presence they are looking for is an anchor presence - love + leadership - strong, steady, grounded and able to care for them through the storm.

Anchors don’t stop working when the storm hits. During the storm, they work harder to hold on and keep things safe. They don’t take things personally and they don’t judge their performance on how well or how quickly they can stop the storm. 

It doesn’t matter if our kiddos don’t see things our way. They’re looking through a different lens - one that can’t always see around corners the way we might be able to. They don’t have the same resources, experiences, or skills as us. Neither did we at their age.

We’re in charge of keeping them, others, and their relationship with us safe. They’re in charge of how they respond.

It’s why boundaries have to be about what we do - because it’s all we can control.

Sometimes an anchor presence means recognising that we can’t stop the storm, and we don’t need to.

When they don’t have the skills or resources to do what we would like them to do in the moment, we do what we can do to keep the moment safe, while letting them know we are here for them.

If they’re hurting a sibling, we move the sibling away, and stay in connection while we do. ‘It’s okay to be angry. I won’t let you hurt their body (while we’re physically moving their sibling - that’s the boundary). I’m right here (relationship).’

Or if they’re yelling: ‘I want to hear what you want. I care about you much to listen when you’re saying those things about me. (Boundary - I’m not listening.) 

Or, ‘You might stay angry with me for a while and that’s okay. I’m here when you want to talk about it, but I won’t listen while you’re yelling at me. Take your time. You’re not in trouble.’♥️
Mattering is about feeling valued and feeling like I’m doing something that adds value. It doesn’t have to come from grades or schoolwork, and for so many kids it probably won’t. There are so many ways to help kids feel seen and valued that have nothing to do with schoolwork, but which can work to engage them in schoolwork. Little things make a big difference. 

We also have to let our teachers know how much the matter. They are the greatest key to ‘mattering’ (or unmattering) in our schools and for our young people.♥️
If we want to meet their learning needs, we first have to meet their relational ones. If we want them to be open to learning, they first have to open to the adult they are learning from - and they won’t be open if they don’t feel seen, safe, and cared for. It’s not always easy, it’s just how it is.♥️
You know what's lovely? Aside from Sundays and sunshine? …
Sales. 

You know what's even lovelier?
Sales that are 25% off books and resources designed to help kiddos feel bigger, braver, and calmer.

For a short time, we’re taking 25% off books, plushies, courses, posters, and a bunch of tiny treasures that can help build courage and calm in kids and teens.

With the end of the financial year just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to top up your toolkit — or quietly replace those resources that have shimmied away while you weren’t looking. (We see you. We've been there.)

This one is for you. And the young ones in your life. Actually, this one is for everyone.

Happy shopping!

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