Nurturing Creativity in Children – Should There Be a C in STEAM?

Children are naturally more creative than adults. That’s not just anecdotal evidence because my son told me “to go run and do something” when I asked him to put his pyjamas on.

Research shows that creativity in young children peaks before they enter middle school. Unfortunately, children’s creativity is declining. The Torrance Tests for Creative Thinking have been administered to national samples in the United States since the 1970’s and since the 1990’s, children’s creativity has been declining. This is concerning enough to be called the “creativity crisis.” Some research shows that creativity in childhood is a better predictor of accomplishments than IQ. And, when surveyed, business leaders rank the ability to think creatively as one of the top skills they are looking for.

So, What’s Causing the Decline?

The research does not tell us what is causing the decline of creativity in children. However, two things are often blamed: over-reliance on screen-based entertainment and increasingly structured (rigid) academics. In the Untied States, an obsession with assessment has been fuelled by laws and programs like No Child Left Behind, Race to the Top  and Every Student Succeeds. An emphasis on assessment of the schools is leaving little room for teachers to be creative and go off task based on student interest, weather or other variables. If teachers are less able to be creative, the effect drips down to students as well.

Children are spending more time than ever with screens for entertainment purposes. Theoretically, screens can be used for creative purposes. However, research shows that less than 3% of children’s time on screen is creative use. Children are consuming content which is influencing their play and ideas and research suggests there is a negative relationship between media use and creativity.

Nurturing Creativity in Our Children. What do We Do About it?

  1. Turn the Screens Off

It has long been said that boredom is the friend of creativity. If you are concerned about creativity, in yourself or your child, offer the opportunity to be bored. You may find that your child) is able to come up with some interesting ideas after little struggle.

  1. Encourage Questions

Instead of jumping to answer a child’s question or hopping to google to answer your own, allow your child’s creative brain to wrap to around “why” questions.

  1. Encourage Free Play in Kids (and Adults)

There are plenty of times when children and adults are creative just by the nature of needing to come up with game that will be fun for all. Children who have ample time for free play spend a big portion of it figuring out what to play, how to play, who will be in charge, etcetera.

  1. Get Outside

Seems simple but research shows that time in nature increases creativity. Researchers theorize this is because nature allows gentle, reflective stimulation like clouds moving, trees rustling or waves lapping. This type of input does not demand attention (like a push notification from technology), but instead allows our mind to wander.

  1. Uninhibited Drawing

Doodle, draw together and engage in other art-based activities that allow your child a form of creative expression.


You might also like …

In the movement towards creativity, Meghan has created a board game called Starting LinesTM for families and adults. The Kickstarter campaign was launched on August 1st and they would love to have your support. Find out more about their Get One/Give One option, a brilliant initiative where they will send you a game and donate one to charity. 

 


About the Author: Meghan Owenz

Meghan Owenz

Screen-Free Mom is a psychologist, writer and a university psychology instructor. She has her Doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Miami and Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University. She is happily raising her two kids sans screens. She runs a website: www.screenfreeparenting.com where she writes about tech-wise parenting and provides tons of screen-free activities. 


 

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All feelings are important. What’s also important is the story - the ‘why’ - we put to those feelings. 

When our children are distressed, anxious, in fight or flight, we’ll feel it. We’re meant to. It’s one of the ways we keep them safe. Our brains tell us they’re in danger and our bodies organise to fight for them or flee with them.

When there is an actual threat, this is a perfect response. But when the anxiety is in response to something important, brave, new, hard, that instinct to fight for them or flee with them might not be so helpful.

When you can, take a moment to be clear about the ‘why’. Are they in danger or

Ask, ‘Do I feel like this because they’re in danger, or because they’re doing something hard, brave, new, important?’ 

‘Is this a time for me to keep them safe (fight for them or flee with them) or is this a time for me to help them be brave?’

‘What am I protecting them from -  danger or an opportunity to show them they can do hard things?’

Then make space for ‘and’, ‘I want to protect them AND they are safe.’

‘I want to protect them from anxiety AND anxiety is unavoidable - I can take care of them through it.’

‘This is so hard AND they can do hard things. So can I.’

Sometimes you’ll need to protect them, and sometimes you need to show them how much you believe in them. Anxiety can make it hard to tell the difference, which is why they need us.♥️
The only way through anxiety is straight through the middle. This is because the part of the brain responsible for anxiety - the amygdala - is one of the most primitive parts of the brain, and it only learns through experience.

The goal is for kids to recognise that they can feel anxious and do brave. They don't have to wait for their anxiety to disappear, and they don't need to disappear themselves, or avoid the things that matter to them, in order to feel safe. 

There is always going to be anxiety. Think about the last time you did something brave, or hard, or new, or something that was important to you. How did you feel just before it? Maybe stressed? Nervous? Terrified? Overwhelmed? All of these are different words for the experience of anxiety. Most likely you didn't avoid those things. Most likely, you moved with the anxiety towards those brave, hard, things.

This is what courage feels like. It feels trembly, and uncertain, and small. Courage isn't about outcome. It's about process. It's about handling the discomfort of anxiety enough as we move towards the wanted thing. It's about moving our feet forward while everything inside is trembling. 

To support them through anxiety, Honour the feeling, and make space for the brave. 'I know how big this is for you, and I know you can do this. I'm here for you. We'll do this together.' 

We want our kiddos to know that anxiety doesn't mean there is something wrong with them, or that something bad is about to happen - even though it will feel that way. 

Most often, anxiety is a sign that they are about to do something brave or important. With the amygdala being the ancient little pony that it is, it won't hear us when we tell our kiddos that they can do hard things. We need to show them. 

The 'showing' doesn't have to happen all at once. We can do it little by little - like getting into cold water, one little step at a time, until the amygdala feels safe. 

It doesn't matter how long this takes, or how small the steps are. What matters is that they feel supported and cared for as they take the steps, and that the steps are forward.❤️
So often the responses to school anxiety will actually make anxiety worse. These responses are well intended and come from a place of love, but they can backfire. 

This is because the undercurrent of school anxiety is a lack of will or the wish to be at school. It’s a lack of felt safety.

These kids want to be at school, but their brains and bodies are screaming at them that it isn’t safe there. This doesn’t mean they aren’t safe. It means they don’t feel safe enough. 

As loving parents, the drive to keep our kids safe is everything. But being safe and feeling safe are different.

As long as school is safe, the work lies in supporting kids to feel this. This is done by building physical and relational safety where we can.

Then - and this is so important - we have to show them. If we wait for them to ‘not feel anxious’, we’ll be waiting forever.

The part of the brain responsible for anxiety - the amygdala - doesn’t respond to words or logic. This means the key to building their capacity to handle anxiety isn’t to avoid anxiety - because full living will always come with anxiety (doing new things, doing things that matter, meeting new people, job interviews, exams). The key is to show them they can ‘move with’ anxiety - they can feel anxiety and do brave. Kids with anxiety are actually doing this every day.

Of course if school is actually unsafe (ongoing lack of intent from the school to work towards relational safety, bullying that isn’t being addressed) then avoidance of that particular school might be necessary.

For resources to support you wish this, I wrote ‘Hey Warrior’ and the new ‘Hey Warrior Workbook’ to help kids feel braver when they feel anxious. 

And if you live in New Zealand, I’ll be presenting full day workshops for anyone who lives with or works with kids on the topic of anxiety driven school ‘avoidance’. For more details see the in the link in the bio.♥️
We don’t need to protect kids from the discomfort of anxiety.

We’ll want to, but as long as they’re safe (including in their bodies with sensory and physiological needs met), we don’t need to - any more than we need to protect them from the discomfort of seatbelts, bike helmets, boundaries, brushing their teeth.

Courage isn’t an absence of anxiety. It’s the anxiety that makes something brave. Courage is about handling the discomfort of anxiety.

When we hold them back from anxiety, we hold them back - from growth, from discovery, and from building their bravery muscles.

The distress and discomfort that come with anxiety won’t hurt them. What hurts them is the same thing that hurts all of us - feeling alone in distress. So this is what we will protect them from - not the anxiety, but feeling alone in it.

To do this, speak to the anxiety AND the courage. 

This will also help them feel safer with their anxiety. It puts a story of brave to it rather than a story of deficiency (‘I feel like this because there’s something wrong with me,’) or a story of disaster (‘I feel like this because something bad is about to happen.’).

Normalise, see them, and let them feel you with them. This might sound something like:

‘This feels big doesn’t it. Of course you feel anxious. You’re doing something big/ brave/ important, and that’s how brave feels. It feels scary, stressful, big. It feels like anxiety. It feels like you feel right now. I know you can handle this. We’ll handle it together.’

It doesn’t matter how well they handle it and it doesn’t matter how big the brave thing is. The edges are where the edges are, and anxiety means they are expanding those edges.

We don’t get strong by lifting toothpicks. We get strong by lifting as much as we can, and then a little bit more for a little bit longer. And we do this again and again, until that feels okay. Then we go a little bit further. Brave builds the same way - one brave step after another.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes and it doesn’t matter how big the steps are. If they’ve handled the discomfort of anxiety for a teeny while today, then they’ve been brave today. And tomorrow we’ll go again again.♥️

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