by Sophia Smith

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How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

For a long time, I have been a slave to my own negative thoughts. I cannot imagine how many times I have held myself back and how many missed opportunities are on my regrets list. Many of mine friends were calling me foolish for not believing in myself or anything else, for that matter, and I thought they just do not realize the reality.

With some self-reflection, I have realized, however, that some people are born with “the glass is half full” attitude, while others need a certain dose of maturity, a breaking point or some self-teaching to fill up their half-empty glass.

Once I realized how much my attitude can affect my life flow, I made a firm decision to change it, and I am working on it each day.

How I encourage change in mindset on a daily basis.

  1. Learning to Be Thankful

    An important part of cultivating positive thinking is being aware of what you have and being thankful for that, so I start each day with my cup of coffee and a piece of paper and a pen. Every day I write down everything I am grateful for.

    I start with the little things, like “There was no rain yesterday”, “I found a free seat in public transport”, “My favorite cake”, “A colleague at work said I look beautiful today”, etc. After, I take some time to write down all “the big things” that make my life great, such as, “I have amazing family”, “My friends love me”, “I am healthy”…

  2. Changing the Perspective

    Sometimes, the whole world seems gray, but when you change your perspective, you will see that the sun is shining after all. I like to do that by talking with other people and understanding their point of view.

    Another way is by reading smart, well-written and illuminating books. I have read many of them, but the three that really had influence on my life are “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne, “Who Will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma and “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman.

    When everything else fails I change perspective, by changing my surroundings. The everyday routine can really start to suffocate me, so I take a walk in the park, get a day off and go on a really short road trip, etc.

  3. Self-Improvement

    One of the things that got me the most depressed was the fact that I am getting old and that there is no more room for getting better. As I was exploring the possibilities of developing various forms of intelligence, I have learned that the brain can develop through life. I am practicing my verbal and emotional intelligence by reading often and participating in conversations. I draw and paint to improve my spatial intelligence, dance to improve my musical and physical intelligence, etc.

    I consider that logical intelligence is one of the most important, so I am dedicating a lot of time to it, by reading books dedicated to it, challenging myself to solve logical problems and playing a lot of games which require logical thinking, such as chess and online Sudoku games.

  4. Healthy Life – Positive Thoughts

    If there is anything I have realized in my journey towards positive thinking, it’s that eating hamburger and fries while binge watching a TV show, will not get me anywhere. On the contrary, it will only make me feel more negative.

    A healthy balanced diet, on the other side, is great for fueling the body. Physical activities, such as walking and exercising, are making me feel ready for all the challenges ahead. The most important message conveyed by a hard day workout is: “I can do it”.

A change in the mindset has drastically changed my entire life. Now, I feel more prepared for all the challenges ahead, and I truly believe that I can do it!

About the Author: Sophia Smith

Sophia is Australian based beauty, lifestyle and health blogger. She is very passionate about organic beauty products, healthy lifestyle and personal development. She is regular contributor at High Style Life.

Find her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google +

 

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karenyoung_heysigmund

We don’t need to protect kids from the discomfort of anxiety.

We’ll want to, but as long as they’re safe (including in their bodies with sensory and physiological needs met), we don’t need to - any more than we need to protect them from the discomfort of seatbelts, bike helmets, boundaries, brushing their teeth.

Courage isn’t an absence of anxiety. It’s the anxiety that makes something brave. Courage is about handling the discomfort of anxiety.

When we hold them back from anxiety, we hold them back - from growth, from discovery, and from building their bravery muscles.

The distress and discomfort that come with anxiety won’t hurt them. What hurts them is the same thing that hurts all of us - feeling alone in distress. So this is what we will protect them from - not the anxiety, but feeling alone in it.

To do this, speak to the anxiety AND the courage.

This will also help them feel safer with their anxiety. It puts a story of brave to it rather than a story of deficiency (‘I feel like this because there’s something wrong with me,’) or a story of disaster (‘I feel like this because something bad is about to happen.’).

Normalise, see them, and let them feel you with them. This might sound something like:

‘This feels big doesn’t it. Of course you feel anxious. You’re doing something big/ brave/ important, and that’s how brave feels. It feels scary, stressful, big. It feels like anxiety. It feels like you feel right now. I know you can handle this. We’ll handle it together.’

It doesn’t matter how well they handle it and it doesn’t matter how big the brave thing is. The edges are where the edges are, and anxiety means they are expanding those edges.

We don’t get strong by lifting toothpicks. We get strong by lifting as much as we can, and then a little bit more for a little bit longer. And we do this again and again, until that feels okay. Then we go a little bit further. Brave builds the same way - one brave step after another.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes and it doesn’t matter how big the steps are. If they’ve handled the discomfort of anxiety for a teeny while today, then they’ve been brave today. And tomorrow we’ll go again again.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Sep 3

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18018587267767427
We don’t need to protect kids from the discomfort of anxiety. We’ll want to, but as long as they’re safe (including in their bodies with sensory and physiological needs met), we don’t need to - any more than we need to protect them from the discomfort of seatbelts, bike helmets, boundaries, brushing their teeth. Courage isn’t an absence of anxiety. It’s the anxiety that makes something brave. Courage is about handling the discomfort of anxiety. When we hold them back from anxiety, we hold them back - from growth, from discovery, and from building their bravery muscles. The distress and discomfort that come with anxiety won’t hurt them. What hurts them is the same thing that hurts all of us - feeling alone in distress. So this is what we will protect them from - not the anxiety, but feeling alone in it. To do this, speak to the anxiety AND the courage. This will also help them feel safer with their anxiety. It puts a story of brave to it rather than a story of deficiency (‘I feel like this because there’s something wrong with me,’) or a story of disaster (‘I feel like this because something bad is about to happen.’). Normalise, see them, and let them feel you with them. This might sound something like: ‘This feels big doesn’t it. Of course you feel anxious. You’re doing something big/ brave/ important, and that’s how brave feels. It feels scary, stressful, big. It feels like anxiety. It feels like you feel right now. I know you can handle this. We’ll handle it together.’ It doesn’t matter how well they handle it and it doesn’t matter how big the brave thing is. The edges are where the edges are, and anxiety means they are expanding those edges. We don’t get strong by lifting toothpicks. We get strong by lifting as much as we can, and then a little bit more for a little bit longer. And we do this again and again, until that feels okay. Then we go a little bit further. Brave builds the same way - one brave step after another. It doesn’t matter how long it takes and it doesn’t matter how big the steps are. If they’ve handled the discomfort of anxiety for a teeny while today, then they’ve been brave today. And tomorrow we’ll go again again.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Feeling seen, safe, and cared for is a biological need. It’s not a choice and it’s not pandering. It’s a biological need.

Children - all of us - will prioritise relational safety over everything.

When children feel seen, safe, and a sense of belonging they will spend less resources in fight, flight, or withdrawal, and will be free to divert those resources into learning, making thoughtful choices, engaging in ways that can grow them.

They will also be more likely to spend resources seeking out those people (their trusted adults at school) or places (school) that make them feel good about themselves, rather than avoiding the people of spaces that make them feel rubbish or inadequate.

Behaviour support and learning support is about felt safety support first.

The schools and educators who know this and practice it are making a profound difference, not just for young people but for all of us. They are actively engaging in crime prevention, mental illness prevention, and nurturing strong, beautiful little people into strong, beautiful big ones.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Aug 19

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17976303911870995
Feeling seen, safe, and cared for is a biological need. It’s not a choice and it’s not pandering. It’s a biological need. Children - all of us - will prioritise relational safety over everything. When children feel seen, safe, and a sense of belonging they will spend less resources in fight, flight, or withdrawal, and will be free to divert those resources into learning, making thoughtful choices, engaging in ways that can grow them. They will also be more likely to spend resources seeking out those people (their trusted adults at school) or places (school) that make them feel good about themselves, rather than avoiding the people of spaces that make them feel rubbish or inadequate. Behaviour support and learning support is about felt safety support first. The schools and educators who know this and practice it are making a profound difference, not just for young people but for all of us. They are actively engaging in crime prevention, mental illness prevention, and nurturing strong, beautiful little people into strong, beautiful big ones.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Emotion is e-motion. Energy in motion.

When emotions happen, we have two options: express or depress. That’s it. They’re the options.

When your young person (or you) is being swamped by big feelings, let the feelings come.

Hold the boundary around behaviour - keep them physically safe and let them feel their relationship with you is safe, but you don’t need to fix their feelings.

They aren’t a sign of breakage. They’re a sign your child is catalysing the energy. Our job over the next many years is to help them do this respectfully.

When emotional energy is shut down, it doesn’t disappear. It gets held in the body and will come out sideways in response to seemingly benign things, or it will drive distraction behaviours (such as addiction, numbness).

Sometimes there’ll be a need for them to control that energy so they can do what they need to do - go to school, take the sports field, do the exam - but the more we can make way for expression either in the moment or later, the safer and softer they’ll feel in their minds and bodies.

Expression is the most important part of moving through any feeling. This might look like talking, moving, crying, writing, yelling.

This is why you might see big feelings after school. It’s often a sign that they’ve been controlling themselves all day - through the feelings that come with learning new things, being quiet and still, trying to get along with everyone, not having the power and influence they need (that we all need). When they get into the car at pickup, finally those feelings they’ve been holding on to have a safe place to show up and move through them and out of them.

It can be so messy! It takes time to learn how to lasso feelings and words into something unmessy.

In the meantime, our job is to hold a tender, strong, safe place for that emotional energy to move out of them.

Hold the boundary around behaviour where you can, add warmth where you can, and when they are calm talk about what happened and how they might do things differently next time. And be patient. Just because someone tells us how to swing a racket, doesn’t mean we’ll win Wimbledon tomorrow. Good things take time, and loads of practice.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Aug 10

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18081959395923958
Emotion is e-motion. Energy in motion. When emotions happen, we have two options: express or depress. That’s it. They’re the options. When your young person (or you) is being swamped by big feelings, let the feelings come. Hold the boundary around behaviour - keep them physically safe and let them feel their relationship with you is safe, but you don’t need to fix their feelings. They aren’t a sign of breakage. They’re a sign your child is catalysing the energy. Our job over the next many years is to help them do this respectfully. When emotional energy is shut down, it doesn’t disappear. It gets held in the body and will come out sideways in response to seemingly benign things, or it will drive distraction behaviours (such as addiction, numbness). Sometimes there’ll be a need for them to control that energy so they can do what they need to do - go to school, take the sports field, do the exam - but the more we can make way for expression either in the moment or later, the safer and softer they’ll feel in their minds and bodies. Expression is the most important part of moving through any feeling. This might look like talking, moving, crying, writing, yelling. This is why you might see big feelings after school. It’s often a sign that they’ve been controlling themselves all day - through the feelings that come with learning new things, being quiet and still, trying to get along with everyone, not having the power and influence they need (that we all need). When they get into the car at pickup, finally those feelings they’ve been holding on to have a safe place to show up and move through them and out of them. It can be so messy! It takes time to learn how to lasso feelings and words into something unmessy. In the meantime, our job is to hold a tender, strong, safe place for that emotional energy to move out of them. Hold the boundary around behaviour where you can, add warmth where you can, and when they are calm talk about what happened and how they might do things differently next time. And be patient. Just because someone tells us how to swing a racket, doesn’t mean we’ll win Wimbledon tomorrow. Good things take time, and loads of practice.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Thank you Adelaide! Thank you for your stories, your warmth, for laughing with me, spaghetti bodying with me (when you know, you know), for letting me scribble on your books, and most of all, for letting me be a part of your world today.

So proud to share the stage with Steve Biddulph, @matt.runnalls ,
@michellemitchell.author, and @nathandubsywant. To @sharonwittauthor - thank you for creating this beautiful, brave space for families to come together and grow stronger.

And to the parents, carers, grandparents - you are extraordinary and it’s a privilege to share the space with you.

Parenting is big work. Tender, gritty, beautiful, hard. It asks everything of us - our strength, our softness, our growth. We’re raising beautiful little people into beautiful big people, and at the same time, we’re growing ourselves.

Sometimes that growth feels impatient and demanding - like we’re being wrenched forward before we’re ready, before our feet have found the ground.

But that’s the nature of growth isn’t it. It rarely waits for permission. It asks only that we keep moving.

And that’s okay.

There’s no rush. You have time. We have time.

In the meantime they will keep growing us, these little humans of ours. Quietly, daily, deeply. They will grow us in the most profound ways if we let them. And we must let them - for their sake, for our own, and for the ancestral threads that tie us to the generations that came before us, and those that will come because of us. We will grow for them and because of them.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Aug 2

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18351463621084496
Thank you Adelaide! Thank you for your stories, your warmth, for laughing with me, spaghetti bodying with me (when you know, you know), for letting me scribble on your books, and most of all, for letting me be a part of your world today. So proud to share the stage with Steve Biddulph, @matt.runnalls , @michellemitchell.author, and @nathandubsywant. To @sharonwittauthor - thank you for creating this beautiful, brave space for families to come together and grow stronger. And to the parents, carers, grandparents - you are extraordinary and it’s a privilege to share the space with you. Parenting is big work. Tender, gritty, beautiful, hard. It asks everything of us - our strength, our softness, our growth. We’re raising beautiful little people into beautiful big people, and at the same time, we’re growing ourselves. Sometimes that growth feels impatient and demanding - like we’re being wrenched forward before we’re ready, before our feet have found the ground. But that’s the nature of growth isn’t it. It rarely waits for permission. It asks only that we keep moving. And that’s okay. There’s no rush. You have time. We have time. In the meantime they will keep growing us, these little humans of ours. Quietly, daily, deeply. They will grow us in the most profound ways if we let them. And we must let them - for their sake, for our own, and for the ancestral threads that tie us to the generations that came before us, and those that will come because of us. We will grow for them and because of them.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Their words might be messy, angry, sad. They might sound bigger than the issue, or as though they aren’t about the issue at all.

The words are the warning lights on the dashboard. They’re the signal that something is wrong, but they won’t always tell us exactly what that ‘something’ is. Responding only to the words is like noticing the light without noticing the problem.

Our job isn’t to respond to their words, but to respond to the feelings and the need behind the words.

First though, we need to understand what the words are signalling. This won’t always be obvious and it certainly won’t always be easy.

At first the signal might be blurry, or too bright, or too loud, or not obvious.

Unless we really understand the problem behind signal - the why behind words - we might inadvertently respond to what we think the problem is, not what the problem actually is.

Words can be hard and messy, and when they are fuelled by big feelings that can jet from us with full force. It is this way for all of us.

Talking helps catalyse the emotion, and (eventually) bring the problem into a clearer view.

But someone needs to listen to the talking. You won’t always be able to do this - you’re human too - but when you can, it will be one of the most powerful ways to love them through their storms.

If the words are disrespectful, try:

‘I want to hear you but I love you too much to let you think it’s okay to speak like that. Do you want to try it a different way?’

Expectations, with support. Leadership, with warmth. Then, let them talk.

Our job isn’t to fix them - they aren’t broken. Our job is to understand them so we can help them feel seen, safe, and supported through the big of it all. When we do this, we give them what they need to find their way through.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 21

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17913738897080523
Their words might be messy, angry, sad. They might sound bigger than the issue, or as though they aren’t about the issue at all. The words are the warning lights on the dashboard. They’re the signal that something is wrong, but they won’t always tell us exactly what that ‘something’ is. Responding only to the words is like noticing the light without noticing the problem. Our job isn’t to respond to their words, but to respond to the feelings and the need behind the words. First though, we need to understand what the words are signalling. This won’t always be obvious and it certainly won’t always be easy. At first the signal might be blurry, or too bright, or too loud, or not obvious. Unless we really understand the problem behind signal - the why behind words - we might inadvertently respond to what we think the problem is, not what the problem actually is. Words can be hard and messy, and when they are fuelled by big feelings that can jet from us with full force. It is this way for all of us. Talking helps catalyse the emotion, and (eventually) bring the problem into a clearer view. But someone needs to listen to the talking. You won’t always be able to do this - you’re human too - but when you can, it will be one of the most powerful ways to love them through their storms. If the words are disrespectful, try: ‘I want to hear you but I love you too much to let you think it’s okay to speak like that. Do you want to try it a different way?’ Expectations, with support. Leadership, with warmth. Then, let them talk. Our job isn’t to fix them - they aren’t broken. Our job is to understand them so we can help them feel seen, safe, and supported through the big of it all. When we do this, we give them what they need to find their way through.♥️

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