by Sophia Smith

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How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

For a long time, I have been a slave to my own negative thoughts. I cannot imagine how many times I have held myself back and how many missed opportunities are on my regrets list. Many of mine friends were calling me foolish for not believing in myself or anything else, for that matter, and I thought they just do not realize the reality.

With some self-reflection, I have realized, however, that some people are born with “the glass is half full” attitude, while others need a certain dose of maturity, a breaking point or some self-teaching to fill up their half-empty glass.

Once I realized how much my attitude can affect my life flow, I made a firm decision to change it, and I am working on it each day.

How I encourage change in mindset on a daily basis.

  1. Learning to Be Thankful

    An important part of cultivating positive thinking is being aware of what you have and being thankful for that, so I start each day with my cup of coffee and a piece of paper and a pen. Every day I write down everything I am grateful for.

    I start with the little things, like “There was no rain yesterday”, “I found a free seat in public transport”, “My favorite cake”, “A colleague at work said I look beautiful today”, etc. After, I take some time to write down all “the big things” that make my life great, such as, “I have amazing family”, “My friends love me”, “I am healthy”…

  2. Changing the Perspective

    Sometimes, the whole world seems gray, but when you change your perspective, you will see that the sun is shining after all. I like to do that by talking with other people and understanding their point of view.

    Another way is by reading smart, well-written and illuminating books. I have read many of them, but the three that really had influence on my life are “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne, “Who Will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma and “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman.

    When everything else fails I change perspective, by changing my surroundings. The everyday routine can really start to suffocate me, so I take a walk in the park, get a day off and go on a really short road trip, etc.

  3. Self-Improvement

    One of the things that got me the most depressed was the fact that I am getting old and that there is no more room for getting better. As I was exploring the possibilities of developing various forms of intelligence, I have learned that the brain can develop through life. I am practicing my verbal and emotional intelligence by reading often and participating in conversations. I draw and paint to improve my spatial intelligence, dance to improve my musical and physical intelligence, etc.

    I consider that logical intelligence is one of the most important, so I am dedicating a lot of time to it, by reading books dedicated to it, challenging myself to solve logical problems and playing a lot of games which require logical thinking, such as chess and online Sudoku games.

  4. Healthy Life – Positive Thoughts

    If there is anything I have realized in my journey towards positive thinking, it’s that eating hamburger and fries while binge watching a TV show, will not get me anywhere. On the contrary, it will only make me feel more negative.

    A healthy balanced diet, on the other side, is great for fueling the body. Physical activities, such as walking and exercising, are making me feel ready for all the challenges ahead. The most important message conveyed by a hard day workout is: “I can do it”.

A change in the mindset has drastically changed my entire life. Now, I feel more prepared for all the challenges ahead, and I truly believe that I can do it!

About the Author: Sophia Smith

Sophia is Australian based beauty, lifestyle and health blogger. She is very passionate about organic beauty products, healthy lifestyle and personal development. She is regular contributor at High Style Life.

Find her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google +

 

5 Comments

Derrick k

I really like your attitude towards life. It’s true that to make life more cheerful we need to change own surrounding, think positive.

Reply
Healthylife

People with a positive attitude are happier, more resilient, better decision-makers, and perform at a higher level than those with a negative attitude. People can attain positive attitude with these ideas.
Well done Sophia. I love your content. Keep up the good work.

Reply
Ben

This was very inspirational i lead a positive thinking group for mental health. This is a good example on what positive thinking is. I will use it in my group.

Reply
Paula

Positive attitude is life’s treasure! Coming from the heart instead of the head is more rewarding. When you come from love all things are possible. Share eveything you have and smile. The joy of giving will enhance your life. People will show up and enhance your life! Challenges are best handled by living in the mystery. Stay focused on the positive and fill your heart with love and then let go…watch what happens. .. Paula Biondo ~ Hilton Head Island Spa & Wellness. …

Reply
Arindam

I seriously want to know from your experience that is it really possible to let our dreams come true by having positive perspective towards that .
And how can i bring the love back into my life which is lost somewhere unknown

Reply

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karenyoung_heysigmund

Remember the power of ‘AND’.

As long as they are actually safe:

They can feel anxious AND do brave.

They can feel like they aren’t ready for brave, AND be ready brave.

They can wish to avoid AND they can stay (or not be taken home).

They can be angry, anxious, and push us away AND we can look after them through the feelings without avoiding the brave/ new, hard/ important.

We can wish for their anxiety, anger, sadness to be gone AND we can be with them without needing them to be different.

We can believe them (that they are anxious, scared, angry) AND believe in them (that they are capable).

When we hold their anxiety AND their capacity for brave, in equal measure and with compassion, we can show them that their anxiety doesn’t cancel their brave.♥️

View

Oct 7

Open
Remember the power of ‘AND’. As long as they are actually safe: They can feel anxious AND do brave. They can feel like they aren’t ready for brave, AND be ready brave. They can wish to avoid AND they can stay (or not be taken home). They can be angry, anxious, and push us away AND we can look after them through the feelings without avoiding the brave/ new, hard/ important. We can wish for their anxiety, anger, sadness to be gone AND we can be with them without needing them to be different. We can believe them (that they are anxious, scared, angry) AND believe in them (that they are capable). When we hold their anxiety AND their capacity for brave, in equal measure and with compassion, we can show them that their anxiety doesn’t cancel their brave.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

These stickers or temporary tattoos are go anywhere cheerleaders for their brave - because being brave is hard sometimes! Available as packs of 12 individual tattoos or stickers.

Of course, tattoos and stickers are much handier if there is something special to hold them in. Oh, I hear you - and I’ve got you … enter the Hey Warrior tin to store them in (or treasure, or wishes, or snacks, or promises that they’ll clean their room - for especially big negotiations). Because truly - is there even such a thing as too much storage? No. Pffft. Of course not.

Now, of course, they’re all my favourites for equal amounts of time, but let me tell you about the hug tattoo and the hug sticker ...

These little stunners are for hugs on demand. If you’ve ever heard me speak about separation anxiety, you’ll know that one way we can ease it is to bring the idea of a child’s loved person closer. But how? Hug tattoos and hug stickers is how!

The idea is to load the hug tattoo or sticker with hugs - as many as they need to last all day, or lots of days, or until breakfast. Whenever they miss you, they can give their tattoo or sticker a squeeze and wrap themselves in one or forty of those hugs you’ve put in there.

They can also put their hugs in a tattoo or a sticker for you (or your phone, your water bottle - you get the idea). Remind them that whenever they think of you during the day, it’s because you’re using one of the hugs they’ve loaded up for you.

The hug tattoos and stickers have been tested and re-tested for ‘volume holdability’, and the conclusion, established through rigorous testing, (because non-rigorous testing would kind of make it a ‘guess’ which would be pointless), is that they can hold heaps of hugs, times a thousand, plus one - because when we’re talking about hugs there’s always room for one more, but I know you know that.

Available separately (12 pack of individual stickers; 12 pack of temporary tattoos; or the Hey Warrior tin) or save 20% with a bundle.♥️

Click on the link in the bio or here to buy or for more info https://www.heysigmund.com/shop/

View

Oct 7

Open
These stickers or temporary tattoos are go anywhere cheerleaders for their brave - because being brave is hard sometimes! Available as packs of 12 individual tattoos or stickers. Of course, tattoos and stickers are much handier if there is something special to hold them in. Oh, I hear you - and I’ve got you … enter the Hey Warrior tin to store them in (or treasure, or wishes, or snacks, or promises that they’ll clean their room - for especially big negotiations). Because truly - is there even such a thing as too much storage? No. Pffft. Of course not. Now, of course, they’re all my favourites for equal amounts of time, but let me tell you about the hug tattoo and the hug sticker ... These little stunners are for hugs on demand. If you’ve ever heard me speak about separation anxiety, you’ll know that one way we can ease it is to bring the idea of a child’s loved person closer. But how? Hug tattoos and hug stickers is how! The idea is to load the hug tattoo or sticker with hugs - as many as they need to last all day, or lots of days, or until breakfast. Whenever they miss you, they can give their tattoo or sticker a squeeze and wrap themselves in one or forty of those hugs you’ve put in there. They can also put their hugs in a tattoo or a sticker for you (or your phone, your water bottle - you get the idea). Remind them that whenever they think of you during the day, it’s because you’re using one of the hugs they’ve loaded up for you. The hug tattoos and stickers have been tested and re-tested for ‘volume holdability’, and the conclusion, established through rigorous testing, (because non-rigorous testing would kind of make it a ‘guess’ which would be pointless), is that they can hold heaps of hugs, times a thousand, plus one - because when we’re talking about hugs there’s always room for one more, but I know you know that. Available separately (12 pack of individual stickers; 12 pack of temporary tattoos; or the Hey Warrior tin) or save 20% with a bundle.♥️ Click on the link in the bio or here to buy or for more info https://www.heysigmund.com/shop/

karenyoung_heysigmund

Validation is a presence, not a speech.

It doesn’t mean you’re being permissive, or rewarding ‘bad’ behaviour. It doesn’t mean you’re saying the storm is okay. It’s a way of handling the storm and offering a safe passage through it, without judgement, shame, isolation.

Think about the times your big feels have taken over. Has it ever worked ever, in the history of forever, for someone to tell you to calm down, or shut you down, or manage you. Nope. Not for me either.

Because when we’re in big feels, we don’t need to be managed, we need to be seen. We don’t do or say the rubbish things we do because we don’t know the rules of social engagement, or because we haven’t had enough consequences, or because we think these things are okay. In fact, we’re not thinking at all. We do these things because in that moment, we don’t have the resources to do differently.

Validation is a way of adding resources, through relationship. It’s a strong, loving presence that sends the message, ‘Bring your feelings to me. I can take care of you through this. And I can keep you and everyone including you safe along the way.’

Of course even during a storm we need to hold boundaries to keep everyone safe (them, you, others), but let these be loving - hold the boundary, add warmth. ‘Yes, this is big. I want to hear you. (Relationship) No I won’t listen when you speak like that. When you can speak in a way I can hear, then we can talk (boundary). You’re not in trouble. I’m right here. (Relationship)

The might be a need for repair, learning, or talking about what’s happened, but during the storm isn’t that time.

We can’t reason with someone in big feels because the thinking brain, the part than can think rationally, logically, plan, think through consequences, make deliberate decisions, is locked out for a bit. This happens to all of us. It’s why we all do or say things that aren’t great when we’re in big feelings.

We can’t stop a storm once it’s storming, but we can offer a safe passage through it. This is what validation does. It a safe passage to a place of calm and connection, where you can have the influence and the conversations that will be growthful.♥️

View

Sep 26

Open
Validation is a presence, not a speech. It doesn’t mean you’re being permissive, or rewarding ‘bad’ behaviour. It doesn’t mean you’re saying the storm is okay. It’s a way of handling the storm and offering a safe passage through it, without judgement, shame, isolation. Think about the times your big feels have taken over. Has it ever worked ever, in the history of forever, for someone to tell you to calm down, or shut you down, or manage you. Nope. Not for me either. Because when we’re in big feels, we don’t need to be managed, we need to be seen. We don’t do or say the rubbish things we do because we don’t know the rules of social engagement, or because we haven’t had enough consequences, or because we think these things are okay. In fact, we’re not thinking at all. We do these things because in that moment, we don’t have the resources to do differently. Validation is a way of adding resources, through relationship. It’s a strong, loving presence that sends the message, ‘Bring your feelings to me. I can take care of you through this. And I can keep you and everyone including you safe along the way.’ Of course even during a storm we need to hold boundaries to keep everyone safe (them, you, others), but let these be loving - hold the boundary, add warmth. ‘Yes, this is big. I want to hear you. (Relationship) No I won’t listen when you speak like that. When you can speak in a way I can hear, then we can talk (boundary). You’re not in trouble. I’m right here. (Relationship) The might be a need for repair, learning, or talking about what’s happened, but during the storm isn’t that time. We can’t reason with someone in big feels because the thinking brain, the part than can think rationally, logically, plan, think through consequences, make deliberate decisions, is locked out for a bit. This happens to all of us. It’s why we all do or say things that aren’t great when we’re in big feelings. We can’t stop a storm once it’s storming, but we can offer a safe passage through it. This is what validation does. It a safe passage to a place of calm and connection, where you can have the influence and the conversations that will be growthful.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

The need for attention is instinctive.

We all need to be seen because that is how we stay safe. Attention is a need - a physiological, relational, instinctive need.

If attention is something we have to work for, or if it only happens when we’re ‘noticeable’ (as in demanding it, yelling for it, disappearing ourselves) our nervous systems will try to find a way back to safety by making ourselves visible. Brains would always rather be seen in a bad way, than not be seen at all - because being unseen is unsafe.

This isn’t a ‘kid’ thing. It’s a ‘human’ thing. Attention needing behaviour happens in our adult relationships too. If there isn’t enough play, joy, affection, we start to make ourselves noticeable. This might look like little verbal ‘swipes’, criticism, arguments, snaps. Ugh. We’ve all been there.

The mistake we’ve been making is tangling the need for attention with the need to be the centre of attention.

If a child’s behaviour is inviting (demanding?) attention, it’s because they are needing attention. The need is valid, even if the behaviour is a little (a lot?!) messy. All of us can struggle with niceties when our needs are screaming at us from the inside of us.

Of course you see them, love them, and would do anything for them. This isn’t about that - it’s about them feeling you enjoying them, seeking them out. It’s about them feeling the abundance of you - so much caring there are leftovers that they can tuck away for rainy days.

Sometimes of course there are just too many rainy days. Even as the most loving, attentive, devoted parents though, we get busy, distracted, stressed. That’s so okay and so normal! But it might mean our kiddos feel start to feel the absence of us a teeny bit. They won’t tell us they miss us. They’ll show us.

Of course we need to hold strong loving boundaries, but what can you add in to let them see that you enjoy them, miss them, like them.

Microconnections matter. Think of the difference it makes to you when someone shows you in teeny ways - a comment, a noticing, a seeking out of you - that they see you, even when they don’t have to. It’s oxygen.♥️

View

Sep 25

Open
The need for attention is instinctive. We all need to be seen because that is how we stay safe. Attention is a need - a physiological, relational, instinctive need. If attention is something we have to work for, or if it only happens when we’re ‘noticeable’ (as in demanding it, yelling for it, disappearing ourselves) our nervous systems will try to find a way back to safety by making ourselves visible. Brains would always rather be seen in a bad way, than not be seen at all - because being unseen is unsafe. This isn’t a ‘kid’ thing. It’s a ‘human’ thing. Attention needing behaviour happens in our adult relationships too. If there isn’t enough play, joy, affection, we start to make ourselves noticeable. This might look like little verbal ‘swipes’, criticism, arguments, snaps. Ugh. We’ve all been there. The mistake we’ve been making is tangling the need for attention with the need to be the centre of attention. If a child’s behaviour is inviting (demanding?) attention, it’s because they are needing attention. The need is valid, even if the behaviour is a little (a lot?!) messy. All of us can struggle with niceties when our needs are screaming at us from the inside of us. Of course you see them, love them, and would do anything for them. This isn’t about that - it’s about them feeling you enjoying them, seeking them out. It’s about them feeling the abundance of you - so much caring there are leftovers that they can tuck away for rainy days. Sometimes of course there are just too many rainy days. Even as the most loving, attentive, devoted parents though, we get busy, distracted, stressed. That’s so okay and so normal! But it might mean our kiddos feel start to feel the absence of us a teeny bit. They won’t tell us they miss us. They’ll show us. Of course we need to hold strong loving boundaries, but what can you add in to let them see that you enjoy them, miss them, like them. Microconnections matter. Think of the difference it makes to you when someone shows you in teeny ways - a comment, a noticing, a seeking out of you - that they see you, even when they don’t have to. It’s oxygen.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

I love being a parent. I love it with every part of my being and more than I ever thought I could love anything. Honestly though, nothing has brought out my insecurities or vulnerabilities as much. This is so normal. Confusing, and normal.

However many children we have, and whatever age they are, each child and each new stage will bring something new for us to learn. It will always be this way.

Our children will each do life differently, and along the way we will need to adapt and bend ourselves around their path to light their way as best we can. But we won’t do this perfectly, because we can’t always know what mountains they’ll need to climb, or what dragons they’ll need to slay. We won’t always know what they’ll need, and we won’t always be able to give it. We don’t need to. But we’ll want to. Sometimes we’ll ache because of this and we’ll blame ourselves for not being ‘enough’. Sometimes we won’t. This is the vulnerability that comes with parenting.

We love them so much, and that never changes, but the way we feel about parenting might change a thousand times before breakfast. Parenting is tough. It’s worth every second - every second - but it’s tough.

Great parents can feel everything, and sometimes it can turn from moment to moment - loving, furious, resentful, compassionate, gentle, tough, joyful, selfish, confused and wise - all of it. Great parents can feel all of it.

Because parenting is pure joy, but not always. We are strong, nurturing, selfless, loving, but not always. Parents aren’t perfect. Love isn’t perfect. And it was meant to be. We’re raising humans - real ones, with feelings, who don’t need to be perfect, and wont need others to be perfect. Humans who can be kind to others, and to themselves first. But they will learn this from us.

Parenting is the role which needs us to be our most human, beautifully imperfect, flawed, vulnerable selves. Let’s not judge ourselves for our shortcomings and the imperfections, and the necessary human-ness of us.❤️

View

Sep 2

Open
I love being a parent. I love it with every part of my being and more than I ever thought I could love anything. Honestly though, nothing has brought out my insecurities or vulnerabilities as much. This is so normal. Confusing, and normal. However many children we have, and whatever age they are, each child and each new stage will bring something new for us to learn. It will always be this way. Our children will each do life differently, and along the way we will need to adapt and bend ourselves around their path to light their way as best we can. But we won’t do this perfectly, because we can’t always know what mountains they’ll need to climb, or what dragons they’ll need to slay. We won’t always know what they’ll need, and we won’t always be able to give it. We don’t need to. But we’ll want to. Sometimes we’ll ache because of this and we’ll blame ourselves for not being ‘enough’. Sometimes we won’t. This is the vulnerability that comes with parenting. We love them so much, and that never changes, but the way we feel about parenting might change a thousand times before breakfast. Parenting is tough. It’s worth every second - every second - but it’s tough. Great parents can feel everything, and sometimes it can turn from moment to moment - loving, furious, resentful, compassionate, gentle, tough, joyful, selfish, confused and wise - all of it. Great parents can feel all of it. Because parenting is pure joy, but not always. We are strong, nurturing, selfless, loving, but not always. Parents aren’t perfect. Love isn’t perfect. And it was meant to be. We’re raising humans - real ones, with feelings, who don’t need to be perfect, and wont need others to be perfect. Humans who can be kind to others, and to themselves first. But they will learn this from us. Parenting is the role which needs us to be our most human, beautifully imperfect, flawed, vulnerable selves. Let’s not judge ourselves for our shortcomings and the imperfections, and the necessary human-ness of us.❤️

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