How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

How Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

For a long time, I have been a slave to my own negative thoughts. I cannot imagine how many times I have held myself back and how many missed opportunities are on my regrets list. Many of mine friends were calling me foolish for not believing in myself or anything else, for that matter, and I thought they just do not realize the reality.

With some self-reflection, I have realized, however, that some people are born with “the glass is half full” attitude, while others need a certain dose of maturity, a breaking point or some self-teaching to fill up their half-empty glass.

Once I realized how much my attitude can affect my life flow, I made a firm decision to change it, and I am working on it each day.

How I encourage change in mindset on a daily basis.

  1. Learning to Be Thankful

    An important part of cultivating positive thinking is being aware of what you have and being thankful for that, so I start each day with my cup of coffee and a piece of paper and a pen. Every day I write down everything I am grateful for.

    I start with the little things, like “There was no rain yesterday”, “I found a free seat in public transport”, “My favorite cake”, “A colleague at work said I look beautiful today”, etc. After, I take some time to write down all “the big things” that make my life great, such as, “I have amazing family”, “My friends love me”, “I am healthy”…

  2. Changing the Perspective

    Sometimes, the whole world seems gray, but when you change your perspective, you will see that the sun is shining after all. I like to do that by talking with other people and understanding their point of view.

    Another way is by reading smart, well-written and illuminating books. I have read many of them, but the three that really had influence on my life are “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne, “Who Will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma and “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman.

    When everything else fails I change perspective, by changing my surroundings. The everyday routine can really start to suffocate me, so I take a walk in the park, get a day off and go on a really short road trip, etc.

  3. Self-Improvement

    One of the things that got me the most depressed was the fact that I am getting old and that there is no more room for getting better. As I was exploring the possibilities of developing various forms of intelligence, I have learned that the brain can develop through life. I am practicing my verbal and emotional intelligence by reading often and participating in conversations. I draw and paint to improve my spatial intelligence, dance to improve my musical and physical intelligence, etc.

    I consider that logical intelligence is one of the most important, so I am dedicating a lot of time to it, by reading books dedicated to it, challenging myself to solve logical problems and playing a lot of games which require logical thinking, such as chess and online Sudoku games.

  4. Healthy Life – Positive Thoughts

    If there is anything I have realized in my journey towards positive thinking, it’s that eating hamburger and fries while binge watching a TV show, will not get me anywhere. On the contrary, it will only make me feel more negative.

    A healthy balanced diet, on the other side, is great for fueling the body. Physical activities, such as walking and exercising, are making me feel ready for all the challenges ahead. The most important message conveyed by a hard day workout is: “I can do it”.

A change in the mindset has drastically changed my entire life. Now, I feel more prepared for all the challenges ahead, and I truly believe that I can do it!


About the Author: Sophia Smith

Sophia is Australian based beauty, lifestyle and health blogger. She is very passionate about organic beauty products, healthy lifestyle and personal development. She is regular contributor at High Style Life.

Find her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google +

 

5 Comments

Derrick k

I really like your attitude towards life. It’s true that to make life more cheerful we need to change own surrounding, think positive.

Reply
Healthylife

People with a positive attitude are happier, more resilient, better decision-makers, and perform at a higher level than those with a negative attitude. People can attain positive attitude with these ideas.
Well done Sophia. I love your content. Keep up the good work.

Reply
Ben

This was very inspirational i lead a positive thinking group for mental health. This is a good example on what positive thinking is. I will use it in my group.

Reply
Paula

Positive attitude is life’s treasure! Coming from the heart instead of the head is more rewarding. When you come from love all things are possible. Share eveything you have and smile. The joy of giving will enhance your life. People will show up and enhance your life! Challenges are best handled by living in the mystery. Stay focused on the positive and fill your heart with love and then let go…watch what happens. .. Paula Biondo ~ Hilton Head Island Spa & Wellness. …

Reply
Arindam

I seriously want to know from your experience that is it really possible to let our dreams come true by having positive perspective towards that .
And how can i bring the love back into my life which is lost somewhere unknown

Reply

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Anxiety is a sign that the brain has registered threat and is mobilising the body to get to safety. One of the ways it does this is by organising the body for movement - to fight the danger or flee the danger. 

If there is no need or no opportunity for movement, that fight or flight fuel will still be looking for expression. This can come out as wriggly, fidgety, hyperactive behaviour. This is why any of us might pace or struggle to sit still when we’re anxious. 

If kids or teens are bouncing around, wriggling in their chairs, or having trouble sitting still, it could be anxiety. Remember with anxiety, it’s not about what is actually safe but about what the brain perceives. New or challenging work, doing something unfamiliar, too much going on, a tired or hungry body, anything that comes with any chance of judgement, failure, humiliation can all throw the brain into fight or flight.

When this happens, the body might feel busy, activated, restless. This in itself can drive even more anxiety in kids or teens. Any of us can struggle when we don’t feel comfortable in our own bodies. 

Anxiety is energy with nowhere to go. To move through anxiety, give the energy somewhere to go - a fast walk, a run, a whole-body shake, hula hooping, kicking a ball - any movement that spends the energy will help bring the brain and body back to calm.♥️
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#parenting #anxietyinkids #childanxiety #parenting #parent
This is not bad behaviour. It’s big behaviour a from a brain that has registered threat and is working hard to feel safe again. 

‘Threat’ isn’t about what is actually safe or not, but about what the brain perceives. The brain can perceive threat when there is any chance missing out on or messing up something important, anything that feels unfamiliar, hard, or challenging, feeling misunderstood, thinking you might be angry or disappointed with them, being separated from you, being hungry or tired, anything that pushes against their sensory needs - so many things. 

During anxiety, the amygdala in the brain is switched to high volume, so other big feelings will be too. This might look like tears, sadness, or anger. 

Big feelings have a good reason for being there. The amygdala has the very important job of keeping us safe, and it does this beautifully, but not always with grace. One of the ways the amygdala keeps us safe is by calling on big feelings to recruit social support. When big feelings happen, people notice. They might not always notice the way we want to be noticed, but we are noticed. This increases our chances of safety. 

Of course, kids and teens still need our guidance and leadership and the conversations that grow them, but not during the emotional storm. They just won’t hear you anyway because their brain is too busy trying to get back to safety. In that moment, they don’t want to be fixed or ‘grown’. They want to feel seen, safe and heard. 

During the storm, preserve your connection with them as much as you can. You might not always be able to do this, and that’s okay. None of this is about perfection. If you have a rupture, repair it as soon as you can. Then, when their brains and bodies come back to calm, this is the time for the conversations that will grow them. 

Rather than, ‘What consequences do they need to do better?’, shift to, ‘What support do they need to do better?’ The greatest support will come from you in a way they can receive: ‘What happened?’ ‘What can you do differently next time?’ ‘You’re the most wonderful kid and I know you didn’t want this to happen. How can you put things right? Do you need my help with that?’♥️
Big behaviour is a sign of a nervous system in distress. Before anything, that vulnerable nervous system needs to be brought back home to felt safety. 

This will happen most powerfully with relationship and connection. Breathe and be with. Let them know you get it. This can happen with words or nonverbals. It’s about feeling what they feel, but staying regulated.

If they want space, give them space but stay in emotional proximity, ‘Ok I’m just going to stay over here. I’m right here if you need.’

If they’re using spicy words to make sure there is no confusion about how they feel about you right now, flag the behaviour, then make your intent clear, ‘I know how upset you are and I want to understand more about what’s happening for you. I’m not going to do this while you’re speaking to me like this. You can still be mad, but you need to be respectful. I’m here for you.’

Think of how you would respond if a friend was telling you about something that upset her. You wouldn’t tell her to calm down, or try to fix her (she’s not broken), or talk to her about her behaviour. You would just be there. You would ‘drop an anchor’ and steady those rough seas around her until she feels okay enough again. Along the way you would be doing things that let her know your intent to support her. You’d do this with you facial expressions, your voice, your body, your posture. You’d feel her feels, and she’d feel you ‘getting her’. It’s about letting her know that you understand what she’s feeling, even if you don’t understand why (or agree with why). 

It’s the same for our children. As their important big people, they also need leadership. The time for this is after the storm has passed, when their brains and bodies feel safe and calm. Because of your relationship, connection and their felt sense of safety, you will have access to their ‘thinking brain’. This is the time for those meaningful conversations: 
- ‘What happened?’
- ‘What did I do that helped/ didn’t help?’
- ‘What can you do differently next time?’
- ‘You’re a great kid and I know you didn’t want this to happen, but here we are. What can you do to put things right? Do you need my help with that?’♥️
As children grow, and especially by adolescence, we have the illusion of control but whether or not we have any real influence will be up to them. The temptation to control our children will always come from a place of love. Fear will likely have a heavy hand in there too. When they fall, we’ll feel it. Sometimes it will feel like an ache in our core. Sometimes it will feel like failure or guilt, or anger. We might wish we could have stopped them, pushed a little harder, warned a little bigger, stood a little closer. We’re parents and we’re human and it’s what this parenting thing does. It makes fear and anxiety billow around us like lost smoke, too easily.

Remember, they want you to be proud of them, and they want to do the right thing. When they feel your curiosity over judgement, and the safety of you over shame, it will be easier for them to open up to you. Nobody will guide them better than you because nobody will care more about where they land. They know this, but the magic happens when they also know that you are safe and that you will hold them, their needs, their opinions and feelings with strong, gentle, loving hands, no matter what.♥️
Anger is the ‘fight’ part of the fight or flight response. It has important work to do. Anger never exists on its own. It exists to hold other more vulnerable emotions in a way that feels safer. It’s sometimes feels easier, safer, more acceptable, stronger to feel the ‘big’ that comes with anger, than the vulnerability that comes with anxiety, sadness, loneliness. This isn’t deliberate. It’s just another way our bodies and brains try to keep us safe. 

The problem isn’t the anger. The problem is the behaviour that can come with the anger. Let there be no limits on thoughts and feelings, only behaviour. When children are angry, as long as they are safe and others are safe, we don’t need to fix their anger. They aren’t broken. Instead, drop the anchor: as much as you can - and this won’t always be easy - be a calm, steadying, loving presence to help bring their nervous systems back home to calm. 

Then, when they are truly calm, and with love and leadership, have the conversations that will grow them - 
- What happened? 
- What can you do differently next time?
- You’re a really great kid. I know you didn’t want this to happen but here we are. How can you make things right. Would you like some ideas? Do you need some help with that?
- What did I do that helped? What did I do that didn’t help? Is there something that might feel more helpful next time?

When their behaviour falls short of ‘adorable’, rather than asking ‘What consequences they need to do better?’ let the question be, ‘What support do they need to do better.’ Often, the biggest support will be a conversation with you, and that will be enough.♥️
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#parenting #positiveparenting #mindfulparenting #anxietyinkids

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