karenyoung_heysigmund
This is not bad behaviour. It’s big behaviour a from a brain that has registered threat and is working hard to feel safe again.
‘Threat’ isn’t about what is actually safe or not, but about what the brain perceives. The brain can perceive threat when there is any chance missing out on or messing up something important, anything that feels unfamiliar, hard, or challenging, feeling misunderstood, thinking you might be angry or disappointed with them, being separated from you, being hungry or tired, anything that pushes against their sensory needs - so many things.
During anxiety, the amygdala in the brain is switched to high volume, so other big feelings will be too. This might look like tears, sadness, or anger.
Big feelings have a good reason for being there. The amygdala has the very important job of keeping us safe, and it does this beautifully, but not always with grace. One of the ways the amygdala keeps us safe is by calling on big feelings to recruit social support. When big feelings happen, people notice. They might not always notice the way we want to be noticed, but we are noticed. This increases our chances of safety.
Of course, kids and teens still need our guidance and leadership and the conversations that grow them, but not during the emotional storm. They just won’t hear you anyway because their brain is too busy trying to get back to safety. In that moment, they don’t want to be fixed or ‘grown’. They want to feel seen, safe and heard.
During the storm, preserve your connection with them as much as you can. You might not always be able to do this, and that’s okay. None of this is about perfection. If you have a rupture, repair it as soon as you can. Then, when their brains and bodies come back to calm, this is the time for the conversations that will grow them.
Rather than, ‘What consequences do they need to do better?’, shift to, ‘What support do they need to do better?’ The greatest support will come from you in a way they can receive: ‘What happened?’ ‘What can you do differently next time?’ ‘You’re the most wonderful kid and I know you didn’t want this to happen. How can you put things right? Do you need my help with that?’♥️
USD $16.17 +
USD $20.22 +
Sue (verified owner) –
Thank you for presenting anxiety in such a positive way, breaking down the characteristics of a person with anxiety and then showing how to manage the anxiety that wells up inside of you. Thanks for leaving you feeling an awesome person when you have read this book.
Rose P (verified owner) –
High quality book with easy to understand concepts of how our “brains” work and why anxiety occurs. Practical ideas for managing emotions for children and adults alike . As an educator consultant this is a fabulous resource I have added to my teaching as well as gifts to my whanau.
Shannon H (verified owner) –
This book is amazing! My daughter loves it. An entertaining and special way to teach them coping mechanisms and help them reflect on how special they truly are and why. The illustrations are beautiful. Love cuddling up with her and reading it together! 100% recommend it!
Laura (verified owner) –
What a wonderful book! My daughter struggles with anxiety, and reading through this really made her smile and understand more. It also reiterated a lot of coping mechanisms and explanations I have used to try and help her, which I think made her more comfortable knowing that there is reasons for it. I highly recommend “Hey Awesome”, letting children know how amazing they are while helping them is such a great gift!
Jessie D (verified owner) –
I would have loved to share this book with my daughters when they were young! I would have loved to tell them how awesome those feelings they were dealing with were, how awesome their skill, their abilities, and their gifts were. As a mom of two teens, I tell them now. What feels like weakness is described and explained as strength in this wonderful book! Lovely and true! Thank you for sharing it with us!
Natalie B (verified owner) –
I purchased this book after a colleague introduced me to the ‘awesomeness’ of this book. WOW! As a mental health professional I think this book is fantastic and I know I will use it often and recommend it to clients.
As a parent I also have a teenage daughter who lives with diagnosed generalised anxiety and she gave this book a HUGE thumbs up and I have also shared the book with a teenage neighbour who lives with social anxiety. Both girls thought the book “Hey Awesome” was great and very helpful.
Thanks for writing such a great book Karen and I look forward to purchasing your new books – please write a book about depression.
Jessica P (verified owner) –
This book was recommended by a children’s councillor, and I’m so glad we got a chance to read it.
In a world where anxiety is viewed as a bad thing, hey Awesome lifts children’s spirits up instead. It focuses on all the ways our kids are strong and amazing, and that they have the power to do amazing things. This means a lot to children whose worries are trying to tell them otherwise, or to those who feel like anxiety holds them back.
Ashley A K (verified owner) –
Awesome books. Also, funny – which keeps kids engaged while they’re learning. There are several talking points in the books – good to note. Thank you for your work.
Erin M (verified owner) –
My 8 yr old son has the Hey Warrior book as well as this book. Both are beautiful to read. Hey Awesome is currently laid out on our kitchen table for him to enjoy over breakfast before school each day. THANK YOU for providing such empowering resources that lift our kids up even in the face of challenge. We love how validating they are!
Jane (verified owner) –
Lovely, my son read this book to me on the way back from our holiday, we talked about every page, and even laughed in a few parts (we are big on humor in our house so it was amazing to have this part of a sometimes difficult topic”.
Kerstin (verified owner) –
This is a wonderful book – full of warmth and empathy for the difficult journeys that some people are on. My 7yo daughter loves it. She now keeps talking about her amygdala expertly. Thanks!
Raelyn A. (verified owner) –
I love these books! What awesome resources. They are so on point and the pictures are welcoming for children of all ages.
Lina –
Another great book! Such a great way to explain anxiety to kids and making them feel brave and proud of themselves. It inspires them to continue showing their strength in ways that they can understand.
Natalie C –
I absolutely love this book. What I love about it the most(apart from the light humourous touches and fun illustrations) is how it reframes anxiety and speaks to the positive traits associated with having anxiety. It’s an important message.
Jo (verified owner) –
Bought this for my 12 year old autistic daughter who really struggles with life…. We read it together and even I felt uplifted! Such a wonderful resource, so glad I purchased a copy
Lisa (verified owner) –
Love it! Such a great way to explain anxiety and reframe the way it is viewed and even felt
Andrea (verified owner) –
This is such a positively framed book, with insight into anxiety and helpful ways to reframe it and deal with it. I love it so much!!
Michael (verified owner) –
A wonderful, beautifully illustrated book about anxiety – and not just for children. It’s a joy to read, a source of peace and calm as well as wisdom.
Anna (verified owner) –
I just bought this for my 10 year old daughter. I bought Hey Warrior and the plush doll about 2 years ago, and it has been really helpful for her. We are on online school and she was having some self-confidence issues with some parts of the distance learning. I ordered Hey Awesome and it has been wonderful for her. It explains what is happening in her brain in a way that she easily understands. And even though this is a picture book, and she usually reads non-illustrated chapter books these days, it was still interesting for her and the right level for her to understand and make sense of her emotions and anxiety symptoms. I am so grateful for these books!
Simone P (verified owner) –
I bought both these amazing books. I have wanted them for quite some time.
After receiving them, I had a chance meeting with a foster Mum, who was in the process of adopting her 9year old foster son. She mentioned how he had endured so many struggles in his short life.. I was so moved by his story, that I gifted them to her to give to him,..
Imagine my absolute delight when she mapessaged me to say he loved them & had placed the little note I wrote him under his pillow that night…my heart sang.
Thankyou for creating such AWESOME books.
Sincerely
Simone
Jennifer R –
Thank you for these amazing resources. What a gift to any family learning about what anxiety is and what amazing qualities people with anxiety have and the incredible things they can do!
Valerie A (verified owner) –
Hi there, I love these books. My youngest two children are 17 and 20 and they both have anxiety. They couldn’t believe how it so accurately describes the feelings they would get. So thank you.
I took it to school for my Year 4 class and they loved it as well. I introduced it to our staff and the mindfulness teacher promptly ordered one for every class in the school. It has been a super addition for working with our kids. So thank you again.
A little while back I purchased the Hey Awesome book in hardcover but I can only find it in softback. How do I find the hardcover version please. Also do you do a pack that includes both books in hardcover along with the plushie? I would like to buy them for my grandchildren.
Thank you very much
Lyndsay B (verified owner) –
I just received “Hey Awesome” in the mail. I am a fellow Psychologist and love this book! More importantly, I am a mother to a highly anxious 9 year old boy. It’s as though this book was written for him! It is absolutely brilliant.
As a Psychologist we have accessed so many wonderful resources to support our sons health, however i truly believe this book is one of our best resources.
Thank you Karen Young for writing such a great book for children who experience anxiety. I love your “awesome” strengths based perspective!!!