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Toxic People: 12 Things They Do and How to Deal with Them

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The 12 Things Toxic People Do and How to Deal With Them

We have all had toxic people dust us with their poison. Sometimes it’s more like a drenching. Difficult people are drawn to the reasonable ones and all of us have likely had (or have) at least one person in our lives who have us bending around ourselves like barbed wire in endless attempts to please them – only to never really get there.

Their damage lies in their subtlety and the way they can engender that classic response, ‘It’s not them, it’s me.’ They can have you questioning your ‘over-reactiveness’, your ‘oversensitivity’, your ‘tendency to misinterpret’. If you’re the one who’s continually hurt, or the one who is constantly adjusting your own behaviour to avoid being hurt, then chances are that it’s not you and it’s very much them.

Being able to spot their harmful behaviour is the first step to minimising their impact. You might not be able to change what they do, but you can change what you do with it, and any idea that toxic somebody in your life might have that they can get away with it.

There are plenty of things toxic people do to manipulate people and situations to their advantage. Here are 12 of them. Knowing them will help you to avoid falling under the influence:

  1. They’ll keep you guessing about which version of them you’re getting.

    They’ll be completely lovely one day and the next you’ll be wondering what you’ve done to upset them. There often isn’t anything obvious that will explain the change of attitude – you just know something isn’t right. They might be prickly, sad, cold or cranky and when you ask if there’s something wrong, the answer will likely be ‘nothing’ – but they’ll give you just enough  to let you know that there’s something. The ‘just enough’ might be a heaving sigh, a raised eyebrow, a cold shoulder. When this happens, you might find yourself making excuses for them or doing everything you can to make them happy. See why it works for them?

    Stop trying to please them. Toxic people figured out a long time ago that decent people will go to extraordinary lengths to keep the people they care about happy. If your attempts to please aren’t working or aren’t lasting for very long, maybe it’s time to stop. Walk away and come back when the mood has shifted. You are not responsible for anybody else’s feelings. If you have done something unknowingly to hurt somebody, ask, talk about it and if need be, apologise. At any rate, you shouldn’t have to guess.

  1. They’ll manipulate.

    If you feel as though you’re the only one contributing to the relationship, you’re probably right. Toxic people have a way of sending out the vibe that you owe them something. They also have a way of taking from you or doing something that hurts you, then maintaining they were doing it all for you. This is particularly common in workplaces or relationships where the balance of power is out. ‘I’ve left that six months’ worth of filing for you. I thought you’d appreciate the experience and the opportunity to learn your way around the filing cabinets.’ Or, ‘I’m having a dinner party. Why don’t you bring dinner. For 10. It’ll give you a chance to show off those kitchen skills. K?’

    You don’t owe anybody anything. If it doesn’t feel like a favour, it’s not. 

  1. They won’t own their feelings.

    Rather than owning their own feelings, they’ll act as though the feelings are yours. It’s called projection, as in projecting their feelings and thoughts onto you. For example, someone who is angry but won’t take responsibility for it might accuse you of being angry with them. It might be as subtle as, ‘Are you okay with me?’ or a bit more pointed, ‘Why are you angry at me,’ or, ‘You’ve been in a bad mood all day.’

    You’ll find yourself justifying and defending and often this will go around in circles – because it’s not about you. Be really clear on what’s yours and what’s theirs. If you feel as though you’re defending yourself too many times against accusations or questions that don’t fit, you might be being projected on to. You don’t have to explain, justify or defend yourself or deal with a misfired accusation. Remember that.

  1. They’ll make you prove yourself to them.

    They’ll regularly put you in a position where you have to choose between them and something else – and you’ll always feel obliged to choose them. Toxic people will wait until you have a commitment, then they’ll unfold the drama.  ‘If you really cared about me you’d skip your exercise class and spend time with me.’  The problem with this is that enough will never be enough. Few things are fatal – unless it’s life or death, chances are it can wait.

     

  2. They never apologise. 

    They’ll lie before they ever apologise, so there’s no point arguing. They’ll twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that they’ll believe their own nonsense.

    People don’t have to apologise to be wrong. And you don’t need an apology to move forward. Just move forward – without them. Don’t surrender your truth but don’t keep the argument going. There’s just no point. Some people want to be right more than they want to be happy and you have better things to do than to provide fodder for the right-fighters.

  1. They’ll be there in a crisis but they’ll never ever share your joy.

    They’ll find reasons your good news isn’t great news. The classics: About a promotion – ‘The money isn’t that great for the amount of work you’ll be doing.’ About a holiday at the beach – ‘Well it’s going to be very hot. Are you sure you want to go?’ About being made Queen of the Universe – ‘Well the Universe isn’t that big you know and I’m pretty sure you won’t get tea breaks.’ Get the idea? Don’t let them dampen you or shrink you down to their size. You don’t need their approval anyway – or anyone else’s for that matter.

  2. They’ll leave a conversation unfinished – and then they’ll go offline.

    They won’t pick up their phone. They won’t answer texts or emails. And in between rounds of their voicemail message, you might find yourself playing the conversation or argument over and over in your head, guessing about the status of the relationship, wondering what you’ve done to upset them, or whether they’re dead, alive or just ignoring you – which can sometimes all feel the same. People who care about you won’t let you go on feeling rubbish without attempting to sort it out. That doesn’t mean you’ll sort it out of course, but at least they’ll try. Take it as a sign of their investment in the relationship if they leave you ‘out there’ for lengthy sessions.

  3. They’ll use non-toxic words with a toxic tone.

    The message might be innocent enough but the tone conveys so much more. Something like, ‘What did you do today?’ can mean different things depending on the way it’s said. It could mean anything from ‘So I bet you did nothing – as usual,’ to ‘I’m sure your day was better than mine. Mine was awful. Just awful. And you didn’t even notice enough to ask.’ When you question the tone, they’ll come back with, ‘All I said was what did you do today,’ which is true, kind of, not really.

  4. They’ll bring irrelevant detail into a conversation.

    When you’re trying to resolve something important to you, toxic people will bring in irrelevant detail from five arguments ago. The problem with this is that before you know it, you’re arguing about something you did six months ago, still defending yourself, rather than dealing with the issue at hand. Somehow, it just always seems to end up about what you’ve done to them. 

  5. They’ll make it about the way you’re talking, rather than what you’re talking about.

    You might be trying to resolve an issue or get clarification and before you know it, the conversation/ argument has moved away from the issue that was important to you and on to the manner in which you talked about it – whether there is any issue with your manner or not. You’ll find yourself defending your tone, your gestures, your choice of words or the way you belly moves when you breathe – it doesn’t even need to make sense. Meanwhile, your initial need is well gone on the pile of unfinished conversations that seems to grow bigger by the day.

     

  6. They exaggerate.

    ‘You always …’ ‘You never …’ It’s hard to defend yourself against this form of manipulation. Toxic people have a way of drawing on the one time you didn’t or the one time you did as evidence of your shortcomings. Don’t buy into the argument. You won’t win. And you don’t need to.

  7. They are judgemental.

    We all get it wrong sometimes but toxic people will make sure you know it. They’ll judge you and take a swipe at your self-esteem suggesting that you’re less than because you made a mistake. We’re all allowed to get it wrong now and then, but unless we’ve done something that affects them nobody has the right to stand in judgement.

Knowing the favourite go-to’s for toxic people will sharpen your radar, making the manipulations easier to spot and easier to name. More importantly, if you know the characteristic signs of a toxic person, you’ll have a better chance of catching yourself before you tie yourself in double knots trying to please them.

Some people can’t be pleased and some people won’t be good for you – and many times that will have nothing to do with you. You can always say no to unnecessary crazy. Be confident and own your own faults, your quirks and the things that make you shine. You don’t need anyone’s approval but remember if someone is working hard to manipulate, it’s because probably because they need yours. You don’t always have to give it but if you do, don’t let the cost be too high. 

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1,143 Comments

Dylan

Jack, I certainly can understand. This is my father as well. And I have no relationship with him due to the fact it would ruin my life. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.
Good luck!!!

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Kerri

Me too. I cut off my parents because if I didn’t it would ruin me. Hardest and best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

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No way out of this mess until I leave

I’ve been going through the same thing my whole life and I made the mistake of moving across street from my parents . Never once have they acknowledge me or my children and all they do is put me down . I’m stuck even tried committing suicide . No way out of this mess until I leave

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Me

Don’t leave yet! Talk to a counselor. I know it’s hard because you are face to face with someone and you have to admit there is a problem, but you are not alone. Really, who out there is normal? Last time I checked normal was just a setting on a dryer. Search for free counseling in your area if your insurance doesn’t pay for all of it. Here is one website: https://www.opencounseling.com/ Good Luck!

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Lisa

BS you do not need them to validate you. You validate yourself and your children. You need to move from across the street from them. If you had problems with them why did you move there? Move away and get your head on straight. Don’t want to hear about suicide, I call BS on that too. My step brother committed suicide and it didn’t accomplish a damn thing. You can do it, put your big girl pants on and do the damn thing to the best of your ability. Said with love…. 😀

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Lizz

Your not alone my mom never acknowledged my son and when I had cancer twice , a year apart she never once came to see me or call me . She said she really didn’t believe I had cancer. I forgot to mention she lived maybe 2 miles from me.
The only grand children she claimed was my baby brothers two children.

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Kris

I’m with you Jack! I’ve come to a point in my where it’s burning my soul, my father has never supported me even financially after a nasty divorce and he needs to step up and pay for my college tuition and then I’ll be out of his life. . this process is extremely exhausting!

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Clair

That’s my father too. And I’m only 19, and need to be moving forward with myself, so I’ve stopped trying. He refuses to change or take responsibility for anything.

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Clair

That’s my father. I’ve stopped trying with him, since I’m only 19 and need to move forward with myself. He won’t change or admit any faults and I can’t have him dragging me down.

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Sad Daughter

Try having this for a mother. She fits the profile of Everything on this list. It’s exhausting because I am a good daughter and all I’ve ever tried to do the past 50 years is to have a relationship with her. She saves her best material for me when there are no witnesses. But my husband who does so much for her and has actually witnessed events where she has slipped. She has thrown him under the bus too. Our loving, wonderful adult daughter writes and calls her, always asks about her and visits when she is in town. Yet my mother never ceases to grasp an opportunity to critique my daughter to me whenever she can. And mom never has anything nice to say about our friends even though we have invited her to dinner with them on a couple of occasions Sometimes I wonder if there’s something missing in my mother’s life or if she’s jealous, or what it could be to make her so negative. She has never been nice to me but in the 10 years since my dad has passed it’s grown worse. I Swear I feel reduced to that little 12-year-old girl so many years ago. She was a dutiful mother and we grew up in a nice ozzie snd harriet family. My dad was a buffer. My Husband says that when she starts doing these things I have to get up and say mom I’m sorry you feel that way and just walk away. But did I mention she lives two doors down. She’s in the hospital now and I cried all the way home after visiting her. I’m exhausted and stressed.

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Melody

This is me too, I never realized I was being Manipulated until my now 21 yr old daughter recognized my mom doing it to her. I too feel like that same teen girl after these conversations w her. After years of a not so good relationship we had finally gotten closer than we had ever been. Her husband passed away and as sad as that was I was looking forward to spending time w her, then my brother moved in – he is her best friend, they have the relationship I guess, as the only daughter, I always longed for with her, but I know will never have. We go through ups and downs but seems the minute things are good she finds a way to sabotage it.

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Leigh

OMG.. I can relate to you. You are not alone. I have been doing some research in trying to help myself and one of the things I am learning is that there is NO reasoning with someone like this. They are not reasonable people. I now realize that I cannot help her or fix her problems. So, I have become Teflon Dawn. I cant let her negativity become mine. I cant let her low self opinions be reflected onto me. There are a lot of youtube videos with advise on how to talk to your toxic parent. I have just begun to scratch the surface but I practiced one of them yesterday on the phone and it HELPED. I am like a sponge soaking this up because I am 52 and TIRED of dealing with this and feeling this way. Just know you are not alone and your husband is right, sometimes you just have to walk away even if it is for that one day. Save yourself before life slips away. That is exactly where I am at.

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Liz

ya I know 3 women like this , every single in this list is a fit. Most of us think they are insane, but they sprinkle their poison dust to project all their ills , on everyone around them. NEVER apologize, when wrong (which is almost always), are cruel to animals, vicious in gossip and PARANOID. They think everyone owes them, did not provide to them, failed them – and they LIE with no conscience.

Its bad enough to have 1 in the environment but three? And, yes they all came from other countries where their insane bullying is apparently welcomed. Trapped in HELL

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Stupid guy

This website is on the money.
I’m dealing with this problem of a toxic person and that person is my girlfriend of 10 years.
I noticed a few of these signs over the years and was not aware of that she might be toxic.

I just noticed she was very judgemental and would never apologize for anything and she would find reason for me to stay and hang with her rather then going out with my friends.
Oh and she would find stuff to accuse me of that wasn’t true or just out of this world and make me like talk her down and explain all kinds of nonsense that shouldn’t even matter.

Like here is an example that still happens I live in a apartment and there are air b&b rentals everywhere setting the picture for you.

So I’ll be home or at work and and when I come home form work or she does she will be like.
Did you see that say green Subaru parked across the way.

I’ll answer no

She replay with huh well this girl at my work owns the same kinda of car.

I’m replay lots of people like Subaru’s there a good car for the money but I don’t pay attention to them I’m a Toyota person

Anyway the point being she will actually fish me into a fight being that this now is her friends car not some randoms and then it gets deeper and I’m not going there

But I’m all I never seen the stupid car and didn’t care if I didn’t and really don’t believe that her friend started parking over here I don’t know we’re she lives but it’s not around here and it snows here the have removal for cars not reg to the spots so I don’t understand why she wouldn’t see the amount of stupid this is for a car that probably won’t come back after the weekend lol but she will ruin are lives because of her idea of what that car could mean ?

I don’t know if you have a gf and had been together for 10 years and all 12 of these signs showed up slapped you so many times you need a time clock to keep track of what would you do because I’m feeling comfused I don’t
Like being called names and accused of things I don’t know about and was not a part of not getting apologies for anything and being called a loser because I work less and make more money

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Jasmine

I love this article because ive been in a relationship for 7 years. And i continuously try to make this person happy. And no matter what its always my fault. Til this day i cant have a reasonable discussion with this person about difficult situations weve been through. And the result of it is us not being together.and its all “my fault”.

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Maya

It wasn’t your fault, you tried to make them happy and they just ended up leaving you and blaming you. That person doesn’t deserve you. You did your part and tried to be a good partner and they fucked up not you. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I hope you’re okay and find someone who deserves you!

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Patty

I love this topic. It’s sad when you have a family member who uses toxic tones in their conversation. I dont plan on dealing with this person on a day to day basis anymore. They will be lucky to see me once a month. This person has never known how to talk to people. Other family members dont like them so much. We love this person but we don’t like them.

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Amd

All good except for the comment on judgement. EVERYONE has the right to stand in judgement. And you absolutely must.

Don’t judge me. Why on earth would someone feel the need to say that?

I’ll tell you why, because they are planning to do something breathtakingly awful and want to force you into a non judgemental cage before they do so.

If you hear those words judge with all your might and may I suggest you consider fleeing.

What does judge mean though? It doesn’t mean gossiping. It doesn’t mean trying to harm someone. It doesn’t even mean trying to stop them. It just means exercising your right to use your judgement and if you find their behaviour wanting, leave.

Feel free to judge me. You definitely already have been doing so It’s what we do, we use our judgement to gauge how dangerous or otherwise a situation or person is. Feel free to judge. It’s your right to do so and it’s how you protect yourself.

And be very careful of anyone who tells you otherwise.

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Sue

AMD … HALLELUJAH. You are a light in the darkness – I didn’t think there were any of us left who understand this. Thought they’d all been engulfed by the nothingness. Live long & prosper.

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Teresa

😂 what in the world Amd? What you said makes ZERO sense. I get your principal but your applied math here ….. holy cow 🤦🏽‍♀️

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Willow

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are absolutely on the mark about this. Judgement is how we make our way in the world. It has been turned into a dirty word by the narcissists who want you to exhibit ‘unconditional love’ – thereby shortcircuiting your ability to judge their actions in an appropriate manner.

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Mpilo

My girlfriend is exactly this. She really loves me and I love her. But she’s just like this..she has her moments of being amazing. But then she has her days of being toxic exactly like this. Super accurate. All I want to know is what do I do when she’s so toxic. How do I not let it hurt me or let it get to me ? Help me please…

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Kathleen

Mpilo
What do you do…simply walk away..Go for a walk..call a ‘sane friend… She will want to be right..shr will want to control you ..if sje nerfs to she will use manipulation ..loopholes..or lies…..This will eventually test your self esteem …Do not give her that power!!!! Record your conversations and listen to them later…this is what opened my eyes to the heartbreaking truth..Most of all.
Remember ..the truth will set you free.
Kathleen

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js

“She really loves me and I love her BUT….”
(Im quoting you.)
The “BUT” is your answer. The word but negates everything spoken before it. If Love was truly present, there would be no “BUT” in your sentence.

Leave.

Also, understand that toxic behavior should “get to you”.
Does physical injury not cause physical pain? Of course! Why? Well, pain serves as a self-preservation signal. Pain alerts us to danager and injury so we know we need to care for ourselves in some way.
Similiarly, Emotional and Mental injury and toxicity should “get to you”. Its your body mind signaling you to walk away.

Stop putting your hand on the flame and trying to withstand the pain. Stop trying to love what isnt loving.

Just stop, and walk away.

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Fran

I love this article because its not about being right or better then the other it’s about self improvement, finding happiness in ourselves and how to be better with each other. It’s not about “me” or “I” but it is about “us”.

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TJ

This is why we keep moving far away and keep our visits with the inlaws short. The mask only lasts a few days, and then the behaviors start…

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SJ

Wow! Sometimes I think I’m the only one that has troubles with Inlaws. TJ I’m hearing you buddy. I in fact have trouble with all of them though. SIL and BIL too🤯. Comes down to a very controlling, manipulative and toxic mother inlaw and a SIL that has family issues that competes to be top dog to the MIL. I’ve put up with it for 20 years and have finally snapped. Now they’re all are against me. Makes it hard on my kids and husband. You’re lucky…..I wish I could move. Would love to know how you have delt with things. Cheers 🙂

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Susan

I’m leaving a longtime acquaintance behind because I’ve recently realized she’s toxic. She uses our time together to talk about her health concerns that are anxiety-fueled, how unfair her work demands are and to concentrate on whatever I say to the nth degree when I’m only stating how I feel and what I’m doing about it. I really like the post about judgment…hell yes we all judge and we should to keep ourselves safe and on track not to classify our fellow humans as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ but to discover what’s in our best interests.

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Skylar

I’ve been researching Narcisstic Personality Disorder for about a year now due to my seperation & divorce to my husband of just 18 months. I have realized that my mother and little sister are narcissistic as well. I’m actually awake right now from defending myself yet again on a 3 day argument all because I said okay in responding to a message while I was busy with my “6” children.

My ex husband is the one who made me feel feel the need to research and diagnose whatever it is that was wrong due to how extreme his traits were. He injured his knee and had surgery that was to leave him out of work for about 1-2 months. He was out for 14 months. During 5 his time he began creating fake Facebook accounts using his real pics and a similar (fake) name. He left them on public and this is when the entire small town in Alabama became aware of his ways. He had hundreds of half naked females as his friends and made sexual advances to females at our church, kids school, ball coach, friends and even my own sisters. I was in the middle of protecting my kids from their father allowing them to be abused under his roof so I tried to reason with Jim even begging him to stop just until we make sure the kids are safe. He didn’t care. He said it was my fault an any efforts of reasoning with him made him irate and accuse me of putting him down. His mother backed him up which made him worse. I truly believe he hit a world record with talking to hundreds of females a day. I left and divorced him while he blamed me for everything. An never felt remorse
A narcissistic person cannot feel remorse or empathy for others. They will not own anything they do and if they do apologize and act as if they want or need you…..it’s a hoax and their plot to manipulate you for whatever it is that you have that they want. It’s temporary and the real them will return shortly. These people will drain you and suck every ounce of happiness out of your life. They cannot change without intense YEARS of therapy or a Devine miracle from God. But first they have to acknowledge it and we’ll that just isn’t gonna happen not for real.
I thought I had become an expert with this toxic behavior until my sister has accused me of being selfish and careless and threatened to disown me again because I replied “ok” after she messaged me about her friend yelling at her when she asked him to buy a lunch able for her son to eat at school Monday. I replied “well he’s not a keeper, what what a jerk, screw him, and then I asked if she had applied for free lunch. She replied that he had never at at school and is picky and he will go all day not eating . I didn’t know what to respond so I said ok. I was in the middle of my new chore chart for my kids to follow and had to clean my mess up off off the bed so my husband could go to bed. So now 3 days later I’m defending myself when I’m called selfish and threatened to never speak to me again. We already live 5 hours away and I usually panic and try to correct where I went wrong but this is just too ridiculous and I’m out. I have decided to not walk on egg shells anymore. If she wants to talk I will but I can’t explain myself again and be told how bad I am for then explaining myself. I’ve apologized 9 times and she has blocked every source of communication yet fusses that I’m not calling her to others. I chose sanity and normalcy and I’m out. This is the only thing I know to do to make my life brighter. I’m the most selfless and honest person I know. I do that I can for everyone and I take criticism fairly good but this now isn’t me at all this is her and I have to do as the serenity prayer states and have the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change and move on .God Bless

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Bear P

Mixed feelings about this article. Some examples:
#1. So they have emotions? Grumpy, angry, happy, you never know what you’re going to get! Sounds like most people I know. – I will say the “what’s wrong?, “Nothing” (with body language saying something is DEFINITELY wrong) is frustrating, but what can you do?
#5. My personal philosophy is apologies are meaningless, both given and received. Ok, so it means I/you feel bad, but does it solve anything or change what happened? I got this philosophy after my step dad beat my mom then apologized, then repeated over and over. Apologies are dumb. I don’t like apologizing, I’d rather just change my behavior.
#s 8 and 10: one(8) criticizes THEIR tone, then the other (10) warns that they will criticise YOUR tone. Seems hypocritical. What is being said AND the way it is said are both important.

All in all, some good points as well. I would love to see a tie-in or a related article that illustrates the ways to be non-toxic/healthy and avoid doing these things yourself.

I’m having a hard time w/ a family member. I don’t honestly know if I’m toxic or they are, but we seem to fight a lot even though we love each other. I don’t want to hurt or be hurt.

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Linsdley D

I’m experiencing this now after dating this person for just 4 years. These past years have been questioning and its getting no better. Reading this has helped Me confirm I am not the problem in this relationship. Thanks and MILLION!!!!

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Rosie

This describes my mom and some of her family very well. It has been so difficult with her over the years and finally she has mellowed out in some ways as she got older. It has left deep scares that will never heal. I still have problems with toxic people that I work with who show the above traits. I suffer in silence often and somehow I attract them to me.

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Kris

I’m really with you on that one Jack! I have him and his toxic wife to deal with! Double whammy. . He’s never supported me even financially and now that I actually need him to pay for my college tuition these next few years are stressing me . . I cant wait to cut them off and move on finally . . I’ve been through over a decade of baggage

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Cina

Did rewrite the whole 8 pages essay for the group. A lot better than the old bad version obviously. Not even a word of Thanks…from them. They think they are always right…what a human attitude. TOXIC PEOPLE! Shame to them P,A,C,J…

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Ric

Some of the points you’ve mentioned in the article are things I’ve noticed in my own relationship with a sibling of mine. Any little petty thing I might have done will be met with aggression via text or through social media. The messages never stick to the topic and always go off on tangents where they start belittling me about how they FEEL about me. When I go to confront them personally. not even a day after, they act as if nothing has happened using excuses like “You always try to make it an argument,” etc. Well, yeah, of course, I want an argument since you clearly want drama. They’ll walk off and make it seem like it’s my problem. Now my nieces look at me like I’m crazy. Guess I just have to be content with the fact we don’t live together.

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Cat

What about someone who will point out every little thing they think needs to be done and instead of doing it themselves they expect you to do it. Then blame you when it doesn’t get done. Not like there is any physical reason why they can’t do it themselves. Is it control issues, testing, fear of making a mistake?

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Debbie Brown

I had a friend that was very toxic to her friend and it was so bad that it killed her.

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Alyssa

My mother isnt exactly like this but she wont recognize her own mistake, she keeps on saying that I am the one with problems. And I always admit my problems Its so sad that she doesnt. She wont and will never change.

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Lisa

Seems like I am a toxic people magnet…although I have been toxic too. I am more aware of it now and try not to be. People have no idea. There are so many screwed up people in the world.

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Sue

Just about sums up my sister.Thankfully after years of her being utterly vile to me and the threat of her divulging a secret .Ive come clean and told the people I care about the most in my life.Ive taken away her power and it feels great! I would tell anyone going through similar situation to bite the bullet and talk. Once they have no power over you it’s such a massive relief. I’ve cut all ties from her and am moving on with the eternal love and support from my wonderful family ❤

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Me

My mom’s like this. Her attitude also includes making excuses for not doing things she claims would like to do. A recent example from yesterday is her saying she won’t see my kid every day when school starts and I told her she could do the after school pick up. “But what if I have to work?” You can’t arrange to have an early shift or get the day off once a week in four months?

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Racheal

My guardians are like this anyway by august I’ll be leaving them for good to my own family before they kill me with their toxic nature the most annoying part is them acting like a saint making you feel bad almost all the time

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Megan

No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr Mack is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, and after much “cajoling,” she (my co-worker) got me to visit email DR_MACK@ YAHOO .COM. It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. Dr Mack is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – not more than TWO DAYS later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, on the road to recovery! Love and Many Blessings Back to You!_🙂..🙏

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Christopher

If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, no matter for how long, turn and round and walk away. Seriously. I have spent a couple of years with someone affected by Borderline personality disorder, just to stumble into my next relationship with someone who turned out to be a toxic person after a year into the relationship.

No matter how strong you are, no matter how much you try to improve the situation or the daily life, it will never work out. There is a reason why it is called “toxic” – because it slowly kills you. I consider myself as a very strong personality, but being exposed to weirdness or craziness for years really can break you apart.

If you really believe your love is strong enough to get this person to change, seek for professional help. You will try to talk, rationalise, explain and discuss forever and ever, but it will never change. It will not happen, believe me. I had tried for years, tried everything, but if the person just does not see his or her actions as wrong or hurting, all your attempts are in vain. Eventually you will feel smaller and worse than you have ever been. You can only lose, there is no way of winning.
Especially if this person tends to control you, your actions, your schedule, your social interactions – there will be nothing left of you or who you once were. Do one comparison: Check how often this person socialises with others or how often that person wants to stick with you instead. Then check how often you met your friends in the past and how often you see them now. If there is a big difference, you are already stuck in the vicious cycle. Break out. Run.

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