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Strengthening children and teens from anxious to brave

Anxious to Brave: On Online Course for Parents of Children and Teens With Anxiety

Children with anxiety have everything they need inside them to light up the world, but too often anxiety will tell them a different story. We know they are capable, brave, strong, and that anxiety doesn’t change that a bit. The challenge is to help them realise it too.

Research has shown that with the right support, information, and strategies, parents and carers have a profound capacity to move children and teens towards brave behaviour and strengthen them towards long-term courage, calm, and resilience. The move through anxiety isn’t an easy one, for children or the adults who love them, but it is absolutely possible. As part of this program, we will explore how.

This in-depth program will provide parents with research-backed information and strategies to strengthen children and teens against anxiety in the moment and for the long term. We will discuss the what and why of anxiety and how to open up a world for your child or teen where anxiety stops getting in their way, and brave behaviour becomes possible.

‘Anxious to Brave’ will also provide parents and carers with ways to support children and teens through big feelings (including anxiety, anger, meltdowns) and the range of behaviour that can be fuelled by those big feelings (including at school, bedtime, when faced with a challenge, or more generally). We will also discuss ways to empower children and teens with an understanding of their brain and body that helps make sense of feelings and behaviour, and opens up new ways to respond.

The ‘Anxious to Brave’ program consists of six online modules plus ‘mini videos’, totalling over 7 hours of content. Participants will receive workbooks and a 70% discount on the purchase of Hey Warrior, Ups and Downs, and The Hey Warrior Workbook. Access to the course will be available for 6 months from purchase. As part of the course, we will explore:

  • Module 1:
    • Turning anxiety into an ally. How, and why it’s so important.
    • Using neuroscience to take the anxiety out of the anxiety.
    • The single worst thing for anxiety (that every loving parent has likely done at least one or hundreds of times!).
    • When anxiety fuels behaviour. How to respond, and why we need to rethink the old responses.
    • Why parents are key to strengthening young people against anxiety.
  • Module 2:
    • How behaviours are built in the brain.
    • Why old responses die hard and why new ones take time.
    • Parents don’t cause anxiety, but here’s why you’re a powerful part of the solution.
    • The responses (that all loving parents will do) that will inadvertently increase anxiety – why, and what to do instead.
    • A proven way for parents to increase brave behaviour in children – making a step-by-step plan.
    • When their anxiety becomes yours.
  • Module 3:
    • How the brain registers threat or safety – and what they need from you.
    • The house model of regulation – how our nervous systems influence each other, and how you can use yours to bring calm to theirs.
    • Practical strategies to build their capacity for calm, courage, and resilience.
    • How to respond in the moment when anxiety hits in a way that helps build calm, connection, and maximises your influence and their capacity for brave behaviour.
    • Co-regulation or co-dysregulation?
    • Dealing with anxiety fuelled behaviour – during the storm, after the storm.
    • Separation anxiety – practical examples and strategies to build brave.
    • School anxiety and how to build their attachment village.
  • Module 4:
    • Anxiety – 4 Responses. Which one when.
    • Building their Toolbox. The practical strategies for young people that will build calm, courage, and resilience.
    • Making the move towards brave behaviour – the practical plan that won’t depend on their response or their willingness to engage;
  • Module 5:
    • The different ways your child might respond when their anxiety is big, and how to respond.
    • Managing their reaction – the key strategies.
    • When their reaction is especially big.
    • The most important rule.
  • Module 6:
    • Proven strategies to strengthen against anxiety in the long-term.
    • Practical strategies to reduce anxiety at bedtime and ensure a restful sleep – for everyone.
  • ‘Stronger Than Anxiety’
    • This is a video for children and teens to watch on their own or with you. It will introduce the language and concepts we’ve been discussing to make sure they feel as ready as possible to make the move towards brave. This module includes 20-page workbook, ‘Calming Your Amygdala’. In this module, we will explore:
      • Why anxiety feels the way it does.
      • Why anxiety always comes with courage.
      • A way to think about anxiety that will help soften its impact.
      • How to feel braver, stronger, and more powerful when you need to.
      • How to calm anxiety.
      • The connection between anxiety and your ‘thinking brain’ – and how to switch your thinking brain on.
      • The things that will help anxiety in the moment and in the long term.

NOTE: This course includes ‘Stronger Than Anxiety’, a module specifically for young people to help them discover their own brave way through anxiety. 

This course is intended to offer meaningful and impactful support to parents of children with anxiety. It is not therapy, nor is it intended to replace any therapy you or your child might currently be involved in. If your child is currently working with a therapist, please feel free to discuss anything you learn here with the therapist to ensure consistency of pacing, approach, and goals and timing.

Price: AUD  290.00
Developed and presented by: Karen Young
Location: On-Demand Course
Includes: Videos (7+ hours) + Workbooks

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When terrible things happen, we want to make sense of things for our kids, but we can’t. Not in a way that feels like enough. Some things will never make any sense at all.

But here’s what you need to know: You don’t need to make sense of what’s happened to help them feel safe and held. We only need to make sense of how they feel about it - whatever that might be.

The research tells us so clearly that kids and teens are more likely to struggle after a tr@umatic event if they believe their response isn’t normal. 

This is because they’ll be more likely to interpret their response as a deficiency or a sign of breakage.

Normalising their feelings also helps them feel woven into a humanity that is loving and kind and good, and who feels the same things they do when people are hurt. 

‘How you feel makes sense to me. I feel that way too. I know we’ll get through this, and right now it’s okay to feel sad/ scared/ angry/ confused/ outraged. Talk to me whenever you want to and as much as you want to. There’s nothing you can feel or say that I can’t handle.’

And when they ask for answers that you don’t have (that none of us have) it’s always okay to say ‘I don’t know.’ 

When this happens, respond to the anxiety behind the question. 

When we can’t give them certainty about the ‘why’, give them certainty that you’ll get them through this. 

‘I don’t know why people do awful things. And I don’t need to know that to know we’ll get through this. There are so many people who are working hard to keep us safe so something like this doesn’t happen again, and I trust them.’

Remind them that they are held by many - the helpers at the time, the people working to make things safer.

We want them to know that they are woven in to a humanity that is good and kind and loving. Because however many people are ready to do the hurting, there always be far more who are ready to heal, help, and protect. This is the humanity they are part of, and the humanity they continue to build by being who they are.♥️
It’s the simple things that are everything. We know play, conversation, micro-connections, predictability, and having a responsive reliable relationship with at least one loving adult, can make the most profound difference in buffering and absorbing the sharp edges of the world. Not all children will get this at home. Many are receiving it from childcare or school. It all matters - so much. 

But simple isn’t always easy. 

Even for children from safe, loving, homes with engaged, loving parent/s there is so much now that can swallow our kids whole if we let it - the unsafe corners of the internet; screen time that intrudes on play, connection, stillness, sleep, and joy; social media that force feeds unsafe ideas of ‘normal’, and algorithms that hijack the way they see the world. 

They don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to be enough. Enough to balance what they’re getting fed when they aren’t with us. Enough talking to them, playing with them, laughing with them, noticing them, enjoying them, loving and leading them. Not all the time. Just enough of the time. 

But first, we might have to actively protect the time when screens, social media, and the internet are out of their reach. Sometimes we’ll need to do this even when they fight hard against it. 

We don’t need them to agree with us. We just need to hear their anger or upset when we change what they’ve become used to. ‘I know you don’t want this and I know you’re angry at me for reducing your screen time. And it’s happening. You can be annoyed, and we’re still [putting phones and iPads in the basket from 5pm] (or whatever your new rules are).’♥️
What if schools could see every ‘difficult’ child as a child who feels unsafe? Everything would change. Everything.♥️
Consequences are about repair and restoration, and putting things right. ‘You are such a great kid. I know you would never be mean on purpose but here we are. What happened? Can you help me understand? What might you do differently next time you feel like this? How can we put this right? Do you need my help with that?’

Punishment and consequences that don’t make sense teach kids to steer around us, not how to steer themselves. We can’t guide them if they are too scared of the fallout to turn towards us when things get messy.♥️

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