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Declining Attention Spans & How Parents Can Expand Them

There’s no doubt that technology has taken over nearly all aspects of our lives. While we can’t discount its obvious benefits, I can’t be the only one who’s worried about the negative effects of technology on our kids.

Of most concern, is what technology is doing to our children’s attention spans. I’ve heard several parents complaining that their children can hardly concentrate on tasks for more than a few minutes at a time. They seem to get easily bored and distracted and are always on the lookout for something more interesting to do. Thanks to technology, there’s no shortage of distractions.

I got to thinking, if we parents are finding it so hard to tear ourselves from our screens and pay attention to what is going on around us, how much harder is it for our kids? Is there anything we can do to help them stay on task?

I went searching for answers and here are some tips I found to improve your child’s attention span:

1. Give and you will receive.

With so many things clamoring for your attention, it’s sometimes difficult to focus on the moment. However, if we want our children to learn to pay attention to what we say, we need to give them our undivided attention too.

For instance, when giving instructions or making assertions, being in close proximity to your child works better than shouting requests from the next room. To get them to pay attention, be in the same room, get down to their level, make eye contact then make the request by saying, “ I need you to do this or that right now.”

2. Use creativity to make tasks more interesting.

The attention a child gives a task is directly proportional to their interest in the matter. This explains why some kids can play with Legos for 30 minutes but have trouble sitting still to write their names.

Employing a little creativity when tackling mundane tasks can solve this. For example, instead of asking your child to write out her name in a book, ask her to write it out with chalk on a board or shape it out with pebbles or Play-Doh. You can also teach your child to do math by counting fruits, building blocks etc. By incorporating these elements of play, you turn something dull into a fun activity, capturing your child’s attention.

Ensure that you also vary the tasks your child does and include adequate breaks to prevent boredom from setting in.

3. Watch what your child eats.

Hunger is one of those distractions that make it hard for kids to concentrate on what they’re doing. To combat hunger, ensure your child eats healthy meals that keep them fueled throughout the day.

Start each day by giving your child a nutritious breakfast rich in protein and healthy carbohydrates. Eggs, whole-grain cereals, peanut butter sandwiches are all excellent choices and will ensure your child’s energy level remains high for a long time. Also remember to provide healthy, filling snacks to keep them going between meals.

4. Exercise the body to improve concentration.

It’s easy to underestimate just how important exercise and play are to children. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), play can improve your child’s cognitive function, social skills, memory, attention and concentration. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends allowing children to participate in at least an hour of moderate to vigorous physical activity per day to improve their brain development.

So instead of letting your child vege out in front of the computer indoors, encourage them to take the dog for a run outside, ride a bike or take up rollerblading- anything to move their bodies. This will not only improve their muscle coordination but also help increase their concentration, intelligence and social development.

5. Adequate sleep will bolster depreciating attention spans.

Good sound sleep is known to work wonders for depreciating attention spans of both kids and adults. A full night’s sleep ensures that your child has a solid foundation for both body and mind development. Adequate sleep will allow your child to maintain optimal mental alertness– this is the state in which we have the greatest attention span and are more receptive to what is going on around us, allowing us to learn and retain more information.

Additionally, a good night’s rest allows your child’s brain to recharge while processing and storing the information received during the day, hence improving your child’s memory and retention.

6. Turn off electronics to turn on that focus.

All the exercise and sleep in the world counts for naught if your child is constantly distracted by electronic devices. A 2011 study conducted to study the impact of fast-paced cartoons on young children found that these programs significantly shortened the attention spans of 4-year-olds. Use of TVs, computers, smartphones and video games not only hurt your child’s concentration but also condition them to expect immediate results. Unfortunately, that is not how life works. In real life, we all have to put up with routine tasks which require patience and attention to get through.

To help your children regain their focus, limit screen time in your household and replace it with family time instead. Have your kids and teens unplug their devices and find ways to bond and strengthen your connection. Activities such as solving puzzles, playing memory or board games or reading together strengthen your kids’ attention muscles and bring you closer as a family.

A final word …

Helping your child improve their focus calls for a lot of positive reinforcement, encouragement and patience. However, if you notice that it’s becoming increasingly difficult for your child to concentrate on even the simplest tasks, it’s recommended that you seek help from a professional.


About the Author: Cindy Price

Cindy Price is a Northern Utah wife, mom, and writer. She has 15 years experience writing educational content in the many areas of parenting, with an emphasis on teen-related issues, from which she applies and expounds on her personal experience raising three teenagers. You can find Cindy on Twitter.

 

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Their calm and courage starts with ours.

This doesn’t mean we have to feel calm or brave. The truth is that when a young person is anxious, angry, or overwhelmed, we probably won’t feel calm or brave.

Where you can, tap into that part of you that knows they are safe enough and that they are capable of being brave enough. Then breathe. 

Breathing calms our nervous system so theirs can settle alongside. 

This is co-regulation. It lets them borrow our calm when theirs is feeling out of reach for a while. Breathe and be with.

This is how calm is caught.

Now for the brave: Rather than avoiding the brave, important, growthful things they need to do, as long as they are safe, comfort them through it.

This takes courage. Of course you’ll want to protect them from anything that feels tough or uncomfortable, but as long as they are safe, we don’t need to.

This is how we give them the experience they need to trust their capacity to do hard things, even when they are anxious.

This is how we build their brave - gently, lovingly, one tiny brave step after another. 

Courage isn’t about being fearless - but about trusting they can do hard things when they feel anxious about it. This will take time and lots of experience. So first, we support them through the experience of anxiety by leading, calmly, bravely through the storm.

Because courage isn’t the absence of anxiety.

It’s moving forward, with support, until confidence catches up.♥️
‘Making sure they aren’t alone in it’ means making sure we, or another adult, helps them feel seen, safe, and cared as they move towards the brave, meaningful, growthful thing.❤️
Children will look to their closest adult - a parent, a teacher, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle - for signs of safety and signs of danger.

What the parent believes, the child will follow, for better or worse.

Anxiety doesn’t mean they aren’t safe or capable. It means they don’t feel safe or capable enough yet.

As long as they are safe, this is where they need to borrow our calm and certainty until they can find their own. 

The questions to ask are, ‘Do I believe they are safe and cared for here?’ ‘Do I believe they are capable?’

It’s okay if your answer is no to either of these. We aren’t meant to feel safe handing our kiddos over to every situation or to any adult.

But if the answer is no, that’s where the work is.

What do you need to know they are safe and cared for? What changes need to be made? What can help you feel more certain? Is their discomfort from something unsafe or from something growthful? What needs to happen to know they are capable of this?

This can be so tricky for parents as it isn’t always clear. Are they anxious because this is new or because it’s unsafe?

As long as they are relationally safe (or have an adult working towards this) and their bodies feel safe, the work is to believe in them enough for them to believe it too - to handle our very understandable distress at their distress, make space for their distress, and show them we believe in them by what we do next: support avoidance or brave behaviour.

As long as they are safe, we don’t need to get rid of their anxiety or big feelings. Lovingly make space for those feelings AND brave behaviour. They can feel anxious and do brave. 

‘I know this feels big. Bring all your feelings to me. I can look after you through all of it. And yes, this is happening. I know you can do this. We’ll do it together.’

But we have to be kind and patient with ourselves too. The same instinct that makes you a wonderful parent - the attachment instinct - might send your ‘they’re not safe’ radar into overdrive. 

Talk to their adults at school, talk to them, get the info you need to feel certain enough, and trust they are safe, and capable enough, even when anxiety (theirs and yours) is saying no.❤️
Anxiety in kids is tough for everyone - kids and the adults who care about them.

It’s awful for them and confusing for us. Do we move them forward? Hold them back? Is this growing them? Hurting them?

As long as they are safe - as long as they feel cared for through it and their bodies feel okay - anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong. 
It also doesn’t mean they aren’t capable.

It means there is a gap: ‘I want to, but I don’t know that I’ll be okay.’

As long as they are safe, they don’t need to avoid the situation. They need to keep going, with support, so they can gather the evidence they need. This might take time and lots of experiences.

The brain will always abandon the ‘I want to,’ in any situation that doesn’t have enough evidence - yet - that they’re safe.

Here’s the problem. If we support avoidance of safe situations, the brain doesn’t get the experience it needs to know the difference between hard, growthful things (like school, exams, driving tests, setting boundaries, job interviews, new friendships) and dangerous things. 

It takes time and lots of experience to be able to handle the discomfort of anxiety - and all hard, important, growthful things will come with anxiety.

The work for us isn’t to hold them back from safe situations (even though we’ll want to) but to help them feel supported through the anxiety.

This is part of helping them gather the evidence their brains and bodies need to know they can feel safe and do hard things, even when they are anxious.

Think of the space between comfortable (before the growthful thing) and ‘I’ve done the important, growthful thing,’ as ‘the brave space’. 

But it never feels brave. It feels like anxious, nervous, stressed, scared, awkward, clumsy. It’s all brave - because that’s what anxiety is. It’s handling the discomfort of the brave space while they inch toward the important thing.

Any experience in the brave space matters. Even if it’s just little steps at a time. Why? Because this is where they learn that they don’t need to be scared of anxiety when they’re heading towards something important. As long as they are safe, the anxiety of the brave space won’t hurt them. It will grow them.❤️
In the first few days or weeks of school, feelings might get big. This might happen before school (the anticipation) or after school (when their nervous systems reach capacity).

As long as they are safe (relationally, physiologically) their anxiety is normal and understandable and we don’t need to ‘fix’ it or rush them through it. 

They’re doing something big, something brave. Their brains and bodies will be searching for the familiar in the unfamiliar. They’re getting to know new routines, spaces, people. It’s a lot! Feeling safe in that might take time. But feeling safe and being safe are different. 

We don’t need to stop their anxiety or rush them through it. Our work is to help them move with it. Because when they feel anxious, and get safely through the other side of that anxiety, they learn something so important: they learn they can do hard things - even when they feel like they don’t have what it takes, they can do hard things. We know this about them already, but they’ll need experience in safe, caring environments, little by little, to know this for themselves.

Help them move through it by letting them know that all their feelings are safe with you, that their feelings make sense, and at the end of the day, let those feelings do what they need to. If they need to burst out of them like a little meteor shower, that’s okay. Maybe they’ll need to talk, or not, or cry, or get loud, or play, or be still, or messy for a while. That’s okay. It’s a nervous system at capacity looking for the release valve. It’s not a bad child. It’s never that. 

Tomorrow might be tricker, and the next day trickier, until their brains and bodies get enough experience that this is okay.

As long as they are safe, and they get there, it all counts. It’s all brave. It’s all enough.❤️