by Karen Young (BSc)(Psych)(Hons)MastGestTher

238
VIEWS

How Play Helps Kids Build Brave

For the healthy development of our kiddos, play is everything and then a bit more. It will grow our young loves physically, emotionally, socially and neurally.


What sort of ‘play’ counts as ‘brave building play’?
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We’re talking about free play here – the type that is free from instructions, planning, or directions from grown-ups. There’s no ‘grown-up’ agenda. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with the type of play that has a few instructions and and ideas from grown-ups, but the rich, growthful play is the type where kids are in charge. Even if adults are close by, making sure everyone is safe, this is done at enough of a distance for kids to feel the freedom of choosing, directing, planning, exploring.

How does child-directed free play build brave?

When children play, they practice staying safe. They try out things from the ‘big world’, with the safety of knowing that whenever they want to, they can stop. They can stop the chase, jump out of the sandpit, take off the magic cape, walk out of their pretend world, and they are safe and back to what they know. It’s how they learn they have it in them to solve problems, to be creative, and to be okay (eventually) when things don’t go to plan.
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Play lets them move right up to the edges of their limits. Because they have the control, they can push those limits a little further – they can be a little braver, a little bigger, a little tougher, funnier, bossier, kinder, softer, sillier – and then, whenever they want to, they can stop. This invites them into a wonderful, growthful freedom – to experiment and experience the world and themselves in ways that can expand them like nothing else can. It opens them up to the world and the world up to them.

Play is important for your big loves too, and you.

Play is not just vital for our little loves. Our big loves need to play and so do we. Love, food, sleep, play – it’s that important.

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We know there are too many kids struggling right now, including those from loving, responsive families and in loving, responsive schools.

One of the places these struggles will show themselves is at school, even in the most loving responsive ones. Sometimes these struggles show themselves with a roar, sometimes with nothing at all.

Too many kids are feeling no sense at all that they matter. They don’t feel they are doing something that matters, and they don’t feel that they matter to others.

Too many of them will go weeks at school without hearing their name in a way that makes them feel seen, cared for, and valued.

Too many of them are showing up at school but are noticed more when they don’t, even if only by the unticked box beside their name.

For too many kids, we are asking them to show up when they don’t feel like they have anything to offer, or anything at all to show up for. Why wouldn’t they struggle?

This week I had the greatest privilege of speaking to a room of 300 school well-being staff about how to support all children, how to catch the ones who are struggling, and what we can do to buffer, protect and heal all young people at school.

If you are a parent of a young person who is struggling, I want you to know that schools are working hard to hold them, lovingly and safely.

I know there are also many parents who haven’t had this experience, and your children haven’t got what they need. I know that. I want you to know that change is happening. I want you to know what I see when I work with the wellbeing staff at these schools. They care. They really do. They are so invested in supporting your children, seeing the child behind the student and showing up big for all of them. The work is happening. There’s a lot to do, but it’s happening.

Yes we need more resources, and yes more people, and yes we’re asking more of our schools and teachers than ever, and yes the world is asking more of our kids than ever, but the work is happening.

Thank you to the Department of Education Queensland for working with me, and thank you to the wellbeing staff, teachers, and leadership who are giving everything they can to be there for our children. You matter.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

May 30

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18028767818474582
We know there are too many kids struggling right now, including those from loving, responsive families and in loving, responsive schools. One of the places these struggles will show themselves is at school, even in the most loving responsive ones. Sometimes these struggles show themselves with a roar, sometimes with nothing at all. Too many kids are feeling no sense at all that they matter. They don’t feel they are doing something that matters, and they don’t feel that they matter to others. Too many of them will go weeks at school without hearing their name in a way that makes them feel seen, cared for, and valued. Too many of them are showing up at school but are noticed more when they don’t, even if only by the unticked box beside their name. For too many kids, we are asking them to show up when they don’t feel like they have anything to offer, or anything at all to show up for. Why wouldn’t they struggle? This week I had the greatest privilege of speaking to a room of 300 school well-being staff about how to support all children, how to catch the ones who are struggling, and what we can do to buffer, protect and heal all young people at school. If you are a parent of a young person who is struggling, I want you to know that schools are working hard to hold them, lovingly and safely. I know there are also many parents who haven’t had this experience, and your children haven’t got what they need. I know that. I want you to know that change is happening. I want you to know what I see when I work with the wellbeing staff at these schools. They care. They really do. They are so invested in supporting your children, seeing the child behind the student and showing up big for all of them. The work is happening. There’s a lot to do, but it’s happening. Yes we need more resources, and yes more people, and yes we’re asking more of our schools and teachers than ever, and yes the world is asking more of our kids than ever, but the work is happening. Thank you to the Department of Education Queensland for working with me, and thank you to the wellbeing staff, teachers, and leadership who are giving everything they can to be there for our children. You matter.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Over the past the past 24 hours, I’ve been in Devonport, Tasmania to deliver two sessions to parents and carers - ‘Big Feelings, Connection, and Confidence’, then later an open Q and A where parents brought their real life questions - and we talked.

Thank you for welcoming me so warmly, and for trusting me with your questions, your stories, and your vulnerability.

This was an openness where real change begins. Parenting is hard - beautiful and messy and hard. In the last 24 hours, I’ve been moved by the openness and honesty of parents I’ve shared space with. This is where generational patterns start to shift.

So many of the parents I met are already doing this deep, brave work. The questions asked were honest, raw, and profoundly human — the kind of questions that can feel heavy and isolating until you hear someone else ask them too.

Our children will grow in the most incredible ways if we allow them the space, and if we hold that space with love and leadership and a curious mind. And, if we open ourselves to them, and are willing to shift and stretch and grow, they will grow us too.

Thank you to @devonportevents for everything you’ve done to make these events happen.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

May 20

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17863244988401941
Over the past the past 24 hours, I’ve been in Devonport, Tasmania to deliver two sessions to parents and carers - ‘Big Feelings, Connection, and Confidence’, then later an open Q and A where parents brought their real life questions - and we talked. Thank you for welcoming me so warmly, and for trusting me with your questions, your stories, and your vulnerability. This was an openness where real change begins. Parenting is hard - beautiful and messy and hard. In the last 24 hours, I’ve been moved by the openness and honesty of parents I’ve shared space with. This is where generational patterns start to shift. So many of the parents I met are already doing this deep, brave work. The questions asked were honest, raw, and profoundly human — the kind of questions that can feel heavy and isolating until you hear someone else ask them too. Our children will grow in the most incredible ways if we allow them the space, and if we hold that space with love and leadership and a curious mind. And, if we open ourselves to them, and are willing to shift and stretch and grow, they will grow us too. Thank you to @devonportevents for everything you’ve done to make these events happen.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Can’t wait for this! I’ll be in Devonport, Tasmania next week to present two talks for parents and carers.

The first is on Monday evening 19 May for a talk about how to support big feelings, behaviour and regulation in young people. This is not just another anxiety talk. You’ll walk away feeling hopeful, empowered, and with strategies you can start using straight away.

Then, on Tuesday morning 20 May, I’ll be giving another talk for parents and carers but this will be a Q&A. Bring your questions to me! Even if you don’t have questions, the ones I answer will be loaded with practical information that will support you in your parenting journey.

So grateful to @devonportevents for organising the events. They are public talks, open to everyone.

Tickets available at Humanitix - search Devonport events and scroll down until you find me!

Would love to see you there.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

May 11

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18083049445708978
Can’t wait for this! I’ll be in Devonport, Tasmania next week to present two talks for parents and carers. The first is on Monday evening 19 May for a talk about how to support big feelings, behaviour and regulation in young people. This is not just another anxiety talk. You’ll walk away feeling hopeful, empowered, and with strategies you can start using straight away. Then, on Tuesday morning 20 May, I’ll be giving another talk for parents and carers but this will be a Q&A. Bring your questions to me! Even if you don’t have questions, the ones I answer will be loaded with practical information that will support you in your parenting journey. So grateful to @devonportevents for organising the events. They are public talks, open to everyone. Tickets available at Humanitix - search Devonport events and scroll down until you find me! Would love to see you there.♥️

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