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poster for overcoming separation anxiety webinar for parents and carers

A recorded webinar for parents, carers, teachers, and any important adult in the life of a child.

Separation anxiety can come with loads of heartache for children and their important adults, but there’s something else it comes with – the opportunity to strengthen all children against anxiety and build their brave – and we know they can be brave. Separation anxiety exists for a good reason. We want to make children feel loved and supported, and we also want to build brave to make sure that anxiety doesn’t stand in the way of them doing the important, growthful things they need to do.

As their important adult, you have an enormous capacity to support them through separation anxiety and strengthen vital qualities and skills that will strengthen them now and for the long term. Let’s talk about how. In this 2 hour webinar recording, we will explore practical, powerful ways to build bravery when separation feels tough. 

We will explore:

  • why separation anxiety happens, and the important job it’s there to do;
  • the thing all loving adults will do (we’ll all do them!) that can inadvertently make their anxiety worse, and what to do instead;
  • why their anxiety will fuel yours;
  • what adults can do to soften the impact of separation;
  • how to respond in the midst of anxiety – strategies for children, parents and carers (including teachers and other important adults);
  • practical ways to support your child through separation anxiety;
  • specific strategies for bedtime anxiety;
  • the toolbox for young people – how to help all children feel bigger at separation;
  • the connection between anxiety and aggression, and how to respond to big behaviour in the moment;
  • the connection between anxiety, behaviour and learning, and how to work with this;
  • a road map for supporting your child through anxiety – before, during, and after;
  • why relationships matter, and how to facilitate relationships between children and their important adults (teachers, other important adults) in ways that will build brave behaviour.

Access to the recording is for 30 days from the date of purchase.

Purchase of the course includes a 50% discount on the purchase of Hey Warrior, Ups and Downs, and/ or The Hey Warrior Workbook.

Price: AUD  80.00
Developed and presented by: Karen Young
Location: On-Demand Webinar

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When terrible things happen, we want to make sense of things for our kids, but we can’t. Not in a way that feels like enough. Some things will never make any sense at all.

But here’s what you need to know: You don’t need to make sense of what’s happened to help them feel safe and held. We only need to make sense of how they feel about it - whatever that might be.

The research tells us so clearly that kids and teens are more likely to struggle after a tr@umatic event if they believe their response isn’t normal. 

This is because they’ll be more likely to interpret their response as a deficiency or a sign of breakage.

Normalising their feelings also helps them feel woven into a humanity that is loving and kind and good, and who feels the same things they do when people are hurt. 

‘How you feel makes sense to me. I feel that way too. I know we’ll get through this, and right now it’s okay to feel sad/ scared/ angry/ confused/ outraged. Talk to me whenever you want to and as much as you want to. There’s nothing you can feel or say that I can’t handle.’

And when they ask for answers that you don’t have (that none of us have) it’s always okay to say ‘I don’t know.’ 

When this happens, respond to the anxiety behind the question. 

When we can’t give them certainty about the ‘why’, give them certainty that you’ll get them through this. 

‘I don’t know why people do awful things. And I don’t need to know that to know we’ll get through this. There are so many people who are working hard to keep us safe so something like this doesn’t happen again, and I trust them.’

Remind them that they are held by many - the helpers at the time, the people working to make things safer.

We want them to know that they are woven in to a humanity that is good and kind and loving. Because however many people are ready to do the hurting, there always be far more who are ready to heal, help, and protect. This is the humanity they are part of, and the humanity they continue to build by being who they are.♥️
It’s the simple things that are everything. We know play, conversation, micro-connections, predictability, and having a responsive reliable relationship with at least one loving adult, can make the most profound difference in buffering and absorbing the sharp edges of the world. Not all children will get this at home. Many are receiving it from childcare or school. It all matters - so much. 

But simple isn’t always easy. 

Even for children from safe, loving, homes with engaged, loving parent/s there is so much now that can swallow our kids whole if we let it - the unsafe corners of the internet; screen time that intrudes on play, connection, stillness, sleep, and joy; social media that force feeds unsafe ideas of ‘normal’, and algorithms that hijack the way they see the world. 

They don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to be enough. Enough to balance what they’re getting fed when they aren’t with us. Enough talking to them, playing with them, laughing with them, noticing them, enjoying them, loving and leading them. Not all the time. Just enough of the time. 

But first, we might have to actively protect the time when screens, social media, and the internet are out of their reach. Sometimes we’ll need to do this even when they fight hard against it. 

We don’t need them to agree with us. We just need to hear their anger or upset when we change what they’ve become used to. ‘I know you don’t want this and I know you’re angry at me for reducing your screen time. And it’s happening. You can be annoyed, and we’re still [putting phones and iPads in the basket from 5pm] (or whatever your new rules are).’♥️
What if schools could see every ‘difficult’ child as a child who feels unsafe? Everything would change. Everything.♥️
Consequences are about repair and restoration, and putting things right. ‘You are such a great kid. I know you would never be mean on purpose but here we are. What happened? Can you help me understand? What might you do differently next time you feel like this? How can we put this right? Do you need my help with that?’

Punishment and consequences that don’t make sense teach kids to steer around us, not how to steer themselves. We can’t guide them if they are too scared of the fallout to turn towards us when things get messy.♥️

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