karenyoung_heysigmund
The only way through anxiety is straight through the middle. This is because the part of the brain responsible for anxiety - the amygdala - is one of the most primitive parts of the brain, and it only learns through experience.
The goal is for kids to recognise that they can feel anxious and do brave. They don`t have to wait for their anxiety to disappear, and they don`t need to disappear themselves, or avoid the things that matter to them, in order to feel safe.
There is always going to be anxiety. Think about the last time you did something brave, or hard, or new, or something that was important to you. How did you feel just before it? Maybe stressed? Nervous? Terrified? Overwhelmed? All of these are different words for the experience of anxiety. Most likely you didn`t avoid those things. Most likely, you moved with the anxiety towards those brave, hard, things.
This is what courage feels like. It feels trembly, and uncertain, and small. Courage isn`t about outcome. It`s about process. It`s about handling the discomfort of anxiety enough as we move towards the wanted thing. It`s about moving our feet forward while everything inside is trembling.
To support them through anxiety, Honour the feeling, and make space for the brave. `I know how big this is for you, and I know you can do this. I`m here for you. We`ll do this together.`
We want our kiddos to know that anxiety doesn`t mean there is something wrong with them, or that something bad is about to happen - even though it will feel that way.
Most often, anxiety is a sign that they are about to do something brave or important. With the amygdala being the ancient little pony that it is, it won`t hear us when we tell our kiddos that they can do hard things. We need to show them.
The `showing` doesn`t have to happen all at once. We can do it little by little - like getting into cold water, one little step at a time, until the amygdala feels safe.
It doesn`t matter how long this takes, or how small the steps are. What matters is that they feel supported and cared for as they take the steps, and that the steps are forward.❤️
Miriam L (verified owner) –
I like how these books help kids start to understand their feelings, and with the workbook teaches them how to reflect on how their feelings affect their bodies, their behaviour and their relationships.
Amber –
I found these fantastic books at just the right time! Beautiful illustrations and the messaging perfectly describes anxiety in a way that my children understand.