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by Nick Paustian

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Teacher
– New Zealand

Karen’s practical knowledge and lived experiences have provided us with a wealth of information and ways forward with parent’s and children we have in our school who are struggling with anxiety.

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"Be patient. We don’t know what we want to do or who we want to be. That feels really bad ...

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Sep 22

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"Be patient. We don’t know what we want to do or who we want to be. That feels really bad sometimes. Just keep reminding us that it’s okay that we don’t have it all figured out yet, and maybe remind yourself sometimes too." ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #parentingteens #neurodevelopment #positiveparenting #parenting #neuronurtured #braindevelopment #adolescence #neurodevelopment #parentingteens

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Would you be more likely to take advice from someone who listened to you first, or someone who ...

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Sep 20

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Would you be more likely to take advice from someone who listened to you first, or someone who insisted they knew best and worked hard to convince you? Our teens are just like us. If we want them to consider our advice and be open to our influence, making sure they feel heard is so important. Being right doesn't count for much at all if we aren't being heard. ⠀⠀ Hear what they think, what they want, why they think they're right, and why it’s important to them. Sometimes we'll want to change our mind, and sometimes we'll want to stand firm. When they feel fully heard, it’s more likely that they’ll be able to trust that our decisions or advice are given fully informed and with all of their needs considered. And we all need that. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #positiveparenting #parenting #parenthood #neuronurtured #childdevelopment #adolescence ⠀⠀

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"We’re pretty sure that when you say no to something it’s because you don’t understand ...

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Sep 19

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"We’re pretty sure that when you say no to something it’s because you don’t understand why it’s so important to us. Of course you’ll need to say 'no' sometimes, and if you do, let us know that you understand the importance of whatever it is we’re asking for. It will make your ‘no’ much easier to accept. We need to know that you get it. Listen to what we have to say and ask questions to understand, not to prove us wrong. We’re not trying to control you or manipulate you. Some things might not seem important to you but if we’re asking, they’re really important to us.❤️" . . . #neurodevelopment #neuronurtured #childdevelopment #parenting #positiveparenting #mindfulparenting

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The move towards brave doesn’t have to be a leap. It can be a shuffle - lots of brave tiny steps, ...

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Sep 17

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The move towards brave doesn’t have to be a leap. It can be a shuffle - lots of brave tiny steps, each one more brave than before. What’s important isn’t the size of the step but the direction. ⠀⠀ #parentingteens #neurodevelopment #positiveparenting #neuronurtured #anxiety #anxietyinchildren

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You know who I love? (Not counting every food delivery person who has delivered takeaway to my home....

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Sep 17

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You know who I love? (Not counting every food delivery person who has delivered takeaway to my home. Or the person who puts the little slots in the sides of the soy sauce packets to make them easier to open. Not counting those people.) You know who? Adolescents. I just love them. . Today I spoke with two big groups of secondary school students about managing anxiety. In each talk, as there are in all of my talks with teens, there were questions. Big, open-hearted, thoughtful questions that go right to the heart of it all. . Some of the questions they asked were: - What can I do to help my friend who is feeling big anxiety? - What can I do to help an adult who has anxiety? - How can I start the conversation about anxiety with my parents? Our teens have big, beautiful, open hearts. They won’t always show us that, but they do. They want to be there for their friends and for the adults in their lives. They want to be able to come to us and talk about the things that matter, but sometimes they don’t know how to start. They want to step up and be there for their important people, including their parents, but sometimes they don’t know how. They want to be connected to us, but they don’t want to be controlled, or trapped in conversations that won’t end once they begin. Our teens need to know that the way to us is open. The more they can feel their important adults holding on to them - not controlling them - the better. Let them know you won’t cramp them, or intrude, or ask too many questions they don’t want you to ask. Let them know that when they want the conversation to stop, it will stop. But above all else, let them know you’re there. Tell them they don’t need to have all the words. They don’t need to have any words at all. Tell them that if they let you know they want to chat, you can handle anything that comes from there - even if it’s silence, or messy words, or big feelings - you can handle all of it. Our teens are extraordinary and they need us during adolescence more than ever, but this will have to be more on their terms for a while. They love you and they need you. They won’t always show it, but I promise you, they do.♥️

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