Depression & Happiness: Is the difference in our DNA?

If only the gene pool came with a filter and a half decent lifeguard …

The propensity to feel happiness, or not, might lie in our DNA in the form of an unhappiness gene.

Clearly happiness is not about what we have – there are plenty of unhappy people who have a lot and plenty of happy people who have little.

Scientists may have found the answer – it’s in our DNA, in the form of a gene, ADRA2b, that causes some people to pay more attention to negative emotional events.

The gene is present in about 50% of Caucasians which is much higher than in other ethnic groups.

The ADRA2b gene influences the degree to which people tune in to negative or threatening things around in the environment, affecting not only how events are perceived in the first place, but also how they are remembered later on.

The study involved showing participants a series of emotional words which were positive, negative, or neutral. Participants who had the ADRA2b gene variant were more like to perceive the negative words than those who did not have the variant. Words which were positive were perceived similarly by all participants.

For example, people with the gene are more likely to notice an angry face in a crowd and remember it later on, rather than enjoying the company of those around them.

As explained by Prof Rebecca Todd, lead author of the study, ‘the findings suggest people experience emotional aspects of the world partly through gene-coloured glasses – and that biological variations at the genetic level can play a significant role in individual differences in perception.’

Being emotionally sensitive to what’s happening in the environment is a good thing – it’s the food of happy relationships and a safe and nurturing environment. Things can’t be put right if nobody notices when they are wrong.

Focussing too much on the negative does harm. Rumination – focusing on negative thoughts and events – is a risk factor for depression.

Perception is a critical part of the way we experience and respond to the world. It influences everything – our mood, our relationships, the goals we set, the way we bring up our children. Everything.

It’s important to remember that genetics don’t necessarily have to determine outcome. Think of it like walking around in a dark room. You bump into things, stumble, fall. But when you turn on a light everything that was there in the dark is still there – but now you can navigate around it.

For those who tend to perceive life with a grey hue, being armed with this knowledge can open up the possibility that just because you feel it – negative, threatened, sad – doesn’t necessarily mean it has to dictate who you are. 

Genes interact with our environment and our upbringing and though you can’t change your genes, you can change your environment, how you respond to it, and those you allow to be in it. For ways to pull out of negative thinking, see here.

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When times feel uncertain or your own anxiety feels big, come home to the things that make sense. 

Come home to each other, to stillness, to play, to rest, and conversation. 

Come home to listening more openly and caring more deeply, to nature, and warm baths, and being more deliberate, to fighting for what we can control, and the soft surrender to what we can’t. 

Come home to stories, and music, and to the safety of your tribe. 

Come home to that part of you that is timeless, and strong, and still, and wise, and which knows that, like everything that has ever felt bigger than you for a while, you will get them and you through this.♥️
Separation anxiety can come with a tail whip - not only does it swipe at kids, but it will so often feel brutal for their important adults too.

If your child struggle to separate at school, or if bedtimes tougher than you’d like them to be, or if ‘goodbye’ often come with tears or pleas to stay, or the ‘fun’ from activities or play dates get lost in the anxiety of being away from you, I hear you.

There’s a really good reason for all of these, and none of them have anything to do with your parenting, or your child not being ‘brave enough’. Promise. And I have something for you. 

My 2 hour on-demand separation anxiety webinar is now available for purchase. 

This webinar is full of practical, powerful strategies and information to support your young person to feel safer, calmer, and braver when they are away from you. 

We’ll explore why separation anxiety happens and powerful strategies you can use straight away to support your child. Most importantly, you’ll be strengthening them in ways that serve them not just for now but for the rest of their lives.

Access to the recording will be available for 30 days from the date of purchase.

Link to shop in bio. 

https://www.heysigmund.com/products/separation-anxiety-how-to-build-their-brave/
The more we treat anxiety as a problem, or as something to be avoided, the more we inadvertently turn them away from the safe, growthful, brave things that drive it. 

On the other hand, when we make space for anxiety, let it in, welcome it, be with it, the more we make way for them to recognise that anxiety isn’t something they need to avoid. They can feel anxious and do brave. 

As long as they are safe, let them know this. Let them see you believing them that this feels big, and believing in them, that they can handle the big. 

‘Yes this feels scary. Of course it does - you’re doing something important/ new/ hard. I know you can do this. How can I help you feel brave?’♥️
I’ve loved working with @sccrcentre over the last 10 years. They do profoundly important work with families - keeping connections, reducing clinflict, building relationships - and they do it so incredibly well. @sccrcentre thank you for everything you do, and for letting me be a part of it. I love what you do and what you stand for. Your work over the last decade has been life-changing for so many. I know the next decade will be even more so.♥️

In their words …
Posted @withregram • @sccrcentre Over the next fortnight, as we prepare to mark our 10th anniversary (28 March), we want to re-share the great partners we’ve worked with over the past decade. We start today with Karen Young of Hey Sigmund.

Back in 2021, when we were still struggling with covid and lockdowns, Karen spoke as part of our online conference on ‘Strengthening the relationship between you & your teen’. It was a great talk and I’m delighted that you can still listen to it via the link in the bio.

Karen also blogged about our work for the Hey Sigmund website in 2018. ‘How to Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Children and Teens by Understanding Their Unique Brain Chemistry (by SCCR)’, which is still available to read - see link in bio.

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I often go into schools to talk to kids and teens about anxiety and big feelings. 

I always ask, ‘Who’s tried breathing through big feels and thinks it’s a load of rubbish?’ Most of them put their hand up. I put my hand up too, ‘Me too,’ I tell them, ‘I used to think the same as you. But now I know why it didn’t work, and what I needed to do to give me this powerful tool (and it’s so powerful!) that can calm anxiety, anger - all big feelings.’

The thing is though, all powertools need a little instruction and practice to use them well. Breathing is no different. Even though we’ve been breathing since we were born, we haven’t been strong breathing through big feelings. 

When the ‘feeling brain’ is upset, it drives short shallow breathing. This is instinctive. In the same ways we have to teach our bodies how to walk, ride a bike, talk, we also have to teach our brains how to breathe during big feelings. We do this by practising slow, strong breathing when we’re calm. 

We also have to make the ‘why’ clear. I talk about the ‘why’ for strong breathing in Hey Warrior, Dear You Love From Your Brain, and Ups and Downs. Our kids are hungry for the science, and they deserve the information that will make this all make sense. Breathing is like a lullaby for the amygdala - but only when it’s practised lots during calm.♥️

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