A Life to Love: 24 Hours of Simple Changes to Something Better.

A Life to Love: 24 Hours of Simple Changes to Something Extraordinary.

Change happens in moments, bit by bit, with brave, small, daring steps that lead to something bigger. Sometimes they don’t feel that brave, that new or that daring – they just feel different, because they are. That’s what’s important, not the size of the change but that it’s different to what has been.

[bctt tweet=”Change happens in moments, bit by bit, with brave, small, daring steps that lead to something bigger.”]

It starts with one moment, one decision on one day – that’s all it takes to start something that could lead something extraordinary.

Starting the day.

  1. Start the day kissing. Or laughing. Or both. People and funny YouTube clips were pretty much invented largely for the purpose of keeping us loved up or laughing or both. 
  2. Go for a walk. 20 minutes will do. Exercise is good for the body, great for the brain and one of the best ways to put yourself in a good mood.
  3. Wear perfume – or anything that smells delicious. If you’re not used to it, just try it. It’s a lovely way to feel lovely. Just think twice before you go nuts with it. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful – or too much.
    .

    Out the door.

  4. Smile at strangers. It’s good for you and good for them. You’ll never know whose day you’ll be making.
  5. Slow down. Notice. Listen. Be mindful.
  6. Claim your place in the world today. It needs you. The way you speak. The way you move. The way you are – all as.
  7. Move, speak, be – as though everything is geared in your favour. This one will surprise you with what it can do.
  8. Walk with a powerful stride. Take longer strides, hold your head up. It makes a difference. Just try it.
  9. Make eye contact when you say thank you.
  10. If you meet someone, notice them – enough to notice the colour of their eyes. See the difference it makes to your connection for a moment – or more.
    .

    And back home to your again … Nourish, treat, nurture. 

  11. Nourish. Eat something that’s good for you.
  12. Treat. Eat something that’s comforting for you.
  13. Nurture. Bathe. Read – for learning or fun. Sleep.

This is something to have fun with, but fun doesn’t mean that it can’t mark the start of something wonderful.

Try them on your own or with a friend. Challenge yourself and, if you want to, each other.

See which ones you struggle with and then see if you can find out what that means for you. There is at least as much to gain from looking at the things that you struggle to do than there is from the things that come easily to you. 

Experiment with them and enjoy them – because change doesn’t have to be big, and growth doesn’t have to be hard.  

One Comment

Davy Allan

I was looking for something to help me and I read this and found this is what I want I couldn’t believe it please send more thank you

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I love being a parent. I love it with every part of my being and more than I ever thought I could love anything. Honestly though, nothing has brought out my insecurities or vulnerabilities as much. This is so normal. Confusing, and normal. 

However many children we have, and whatever age they are, each child and each new stage will bring something new for us to learn. It will always be this way.

Our children will each do life differently, and along the way we will need to adapt and bend ourselves around their path to light their way as best we can. But we won’t do this perfectly, because we can’t always know what mountains they’ll need to climb, or what dragons they’ll need to slay. We won’t always know what they’ll need, and we won’t always be able to give it. We don’t need to. But we’ll want to. Sometimes we’ll ache because of this and we’ll blame ourselves for not being ‘enough’. Sometimes we won’t. This is the vulnerability that comes with parenting. 

We love them so much, and that never changes, but the way we feel about parenting might change a thousand times before breakfast. Parenting is tough. It’s worth every second - every second - but it’s tough.

Great parents can feel everything, and sometimes it can turn from moment to moment - loving, furious, resentful, compassionate, gentle, tough, joyful, selfish, confused and wise - all of it. Great parents can feel all of it.

Because parenting is pure joy, but not always. We are strong, nurturing, selfless, loving, but not always. Parents aren’t perfect. Love isn’t perfect. And it was meant to be. We’re raising humans - real ones, with feelings, who don’t need to be perfect, and wont  need others to be perfect. Humans who can be kind to others, and to themselves first. But they will learn this from us.

Parenting is the role which needs us to be our most human, beautifully imperfect, flawed, vulnerable selves. Let’s not judge ourselves for our shortcomings and the imperfections, and the necessary human-ness of us.❤️
Brains and bodies crave balance. 

When our bodies are too hot, too cold, fighting an infection, we’ll will shiver or fever or sweat in an attempt to regulate.

These aren’t deliberate or deficient, but part of the magnificent pool of resources our bodies turn to to stay strong for us.

Our nervous systems have the same intense and unavoidable need for balance.

When the brain FEELS unsafe (doesn’t mean it is unsafe) it will attempt to recruit support. How? Through feelings. When we’re in big feels, someone is going to notice. Our boundaries are clear. Were seen, heard, noticed. Maybe not the way we want to be, but when the brain is in ‘distress’ mode, it only cares about the next 15 seconds. This is why we all say or do things we wouldn’t normally do when we’re feeling big sad, angry, anxious, jealous, lonely, frustrated, unseen, unheard, unvalidated.

In that moment, our job isn’t to stop their big feelings. We can’t. In that moment they don’t have the resources or the skills to regulate so they need our help.

When they’re in an emotional storm, our job is to be the anchor - calm, attached, grounded.

Breathe and be with. Hold the boundaries you need to hold to keep everyone (including them) relationally and physically safe, and add warmth. This might sound like nothing at all - just a calm, steady, loving presence, or it might sound like:

‘I know this feels big. I’m here. I want to hear you. (Relationship)

AND
No I won’t hear you while you’re yelling. (Boundary) Get it out of you though. Take your time. I’m right here. (Relationship. The message is, bring your storm to me. I can look after you.)

OR
No I won’t let you hurt my body / sibling’s body. (Boundary. Step away or move sibling out of the way.) I’m right here. You’re not in trouble. I’m right here. (Relationship)

OR if they’re asking for space:
Ok I can see you need space. It’s a good idea that you take the time you need. I’m right here and I’ll check on you in a few minutes. Take your time. There’s no hurry. (Relationship - I can look after you and give you what you need, even when it’s space from me.)’♥️
I think this is one of the hardest things as parents - deciding when to protect them and when to move forward. The line isn’t always clear, but it’s an important one. 

Whenever our kiddos feels the distress of big anxiety, we will be driven to protect them from that distress. It’s what makes us loving, amazing, attentive parents. It’s how we keep them safe. 

The key is knowing when that anxiety is because of true danger, and when it’s because they are about to do something growthful, important, or brave. 

We of course want to hold them back from danger, but not from the things that will grow them. 

So when their distress is triggering ours, as it is meant to, and we’re driven to support their avoidance, ask,

‘Do they feel like this because they’re jn danger or because they’re about to do something brave, important, growthful.’

‘Is this a time for me to hold them back (from danger), or is it a time for me to support them forward (towards something important/ brave/ growthful)?’

And remember, the move towards brave can be a teeny shuffle - one tiny brave step at a time. It doesn’t have to be a leap.❤️

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