A Life to Love: 24 Hours of Simple Changes to Something Better.

A Life to Love: 24 Hours of Simple Changes to Something Extraordinary.

Change happens in moments, bit by bit, with brave, small, daring steps that lead to something bigger. Sometimes they don’t feel that brave, that new or that daring – they just feel different, because they are. That’s what’s important, not the size of the change but that it’s different to what has been.

[bctt tweet=”Change happens in moments, bit by bit, with brave, small, daring steps that lead to something bigger.”]

It starts with one moment, one decision on one day – that’s all it takes to start something that could lead something extraordinary.

Starting the day.

  1. Start the day kissing. Or laughing. Or both. People and funny YouTube clips were pretty much invented largely for the purpose of keeping us loved up or laughing or both. 
  2. Go for a walk. 20 minutes will do. Exercise is good for the body, great for the brain and one of the best ways to put yourself in a good mood.
  3. Wear perfume – or anything that smells delicious. If you’re not used to it, just try it. It’s a lovely way to feel lovely. Just think twice before you go nuts with it. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful – or too much.

    Out the door.

  4. Smile at strangers. It’s good for you and good for them. You’ll never know whose day you’ll be making.
  5. Slow down. Notice. Listen. Be mindful.
  6. Claim your place in the world today. It needs you. The way you speak. The way you move. The way you are – all as.
  7. Move, speak, be – as though everything is geared in your favour. This one will surprise you with what it can do.
  8. Walk with a powerful stride. Take longer strides, hold your head up. It makes a difference. Just try it.
  9. Make eye contact when you say thank you.
  10. If you meet someone, notice them – enough to notice the colour of their eyes. See the difference it makes to your connection for a moment – or more.

    And back home to your again … Nourish, treat, nurture. 

  11. Nourish. Eat something that’s good for you.
  12. Treat. Eat something that’s comforting for you.
  13. Nurture. Bathe. Read – for learning or fun. Sleep.

This is something to have fun with, but fun doesn’t mean that it can’t mark the start of something wonderful.

Try them on your own or with a friend. Challenge yourself and, if you want to, each other.

See which ones you struggle with and then see if you can find out what that means for you. There is at least as much to gain from looking at the things that you struggle to do than there is from the things that come easily to you. 

Experiment with them and enjoy them – because change doesn’t have to be big, and growth doesn’t have to be hard.  

One Comment

Davy Allan

I was looking for something to help me and I read this and found this is what I want I couldn’t believe it please send more thank you


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Thanks so much @maggiedentauthor♥️…
“Karen Young - Hey Sigmund has such a wonderful way with words especially around anxiety. This is her latest beautiful picture book that explains anxiety through the lens of the Polyvagal theory using the metaphor of a house. This shows how sometimes anxiety can be hard to notice. I think this book can help kids and teens better understand stress and anxiety. I loved it! This would be great for homes, schools and in libraries.
Congratulations Karen.💛”
Of course we love them, no matter what - but they need to feel us loving them, no matter what. Especially when they are acting in unlovable ways, or saying unlovable things. Especially then.

This is not ‘rewarding bad behaviour’. To think this assumes that they want to behave badly. They don’t. What they want is to feel calm and safe again, but in that moment they don’t have the skills to do that themselves, so they need us to help them. 

It’s leading with love. It’s showing up, even when it’s hard. The more connected they feel to us, the more capacity we will have to lead them - back to calm, into better choices, towards claiming their space in the world kindly, respectfully, and with strength. 

This is not about dropping the boundary, but about holding it lovingly, ‘I can see you’re doing it tough right now. I’m right here. No, I won’t let you [name the boundary]. I’m right here. You’re not in trouble. We’ll get through this together.’

If you’re not sure what they need, ask them (when they are calm), ‘When you get upset/ angry/ anxious, what could I do that would help you feel loved and cared for in that moment? And this doesn’t mean saying ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ situation. What can I do to make the no easier to handle? What do I do that makes it harder?’♥️
Believe them AND believe in them. 

‘Yes this is hard. I know how much you don’t want to do this. It feels big doesn’t it. And I know you can do big things, even when it feels like you can’t. How can I help?’

They won’t believe in themselves until we show them what they are capable of. For this, we’ll have to believe in their ‘can’ more than they believe in their ‘can’t’.♥️
Sometimes it feels as though how we feel directs what we do, but it also works the other way: What we do will direct how we feel. 

When we avoid, we feel more anxious, and a bigger need to avoid. But when we do brave - and it only needs to be a teeny brave step - we feel brave. The braver we do, the braver we feel, and the braver we do… This is how we build brave - with tiny, tiny uncertain steps. 

So, tell me how you feel. All feelings are okay to be there. Now tell me what you like to do if your brave felt a little bigger. What tiny step can we take towards that. Because that brave is always in you. Always. And when you take the first step, your brave will rise bigger to meet you.♥️
#anxietyinkids #consciousparenting #parentingtips #gentleparent #parentinglife #mindfulparenting #childanxiety #heywarrior
If anxiety has had extra big teeth lately, I know how brutal this feels. I really do. Think of it as the invitation to strengthen your young ones against anxiety. It’s not the disappearance of brave, or the retreat of brave. It’s the invitation to build their brave.

This is because the strengthening against anxiety happens only with experience. When the experience is in front of you, it can feel like bloodshed. I know that. I really do. But this is when we fight for them and with them - to show them they can do this.

The need to support their avoidance can feel relentless. But as long as they are safe, we don’t need to hold them back. We’ll want to, and they’ll want us to, but we don’t need to. 

Handling the distress of anxiety IS the work. Anxiety isn’t the disruption to building brave, it’s the invitation to build brave. As their important adult who knows they are capable, strong, and brave, you are the one to help them do that.

The amygdala only learns from experience - for better or worse. So the more they avoid, the more the amygdala learns that the thing they are avoiding is ‘unsafe’, and it will continue to drive a big fight (anger, distress) or flight (avoidance) response. 

On the other hand, when they stay with the discomfort of anxiety - and they only need to stay with it for a little longer each time (tiny steps count as big steps with anxiety) - the amygdala learns that it’s okay to move forward. It’s safe enough.

This learning won’t happen quickly or easily though. In fact, it will probably get worse before it gets better. This is part of the process of strengthening them against anxiety, not a disruption to it. 

As long as they are safe, their anxiety and the discomfort of that anxiety won’t hurt them. 
What’s important making sure they don’t feel alone in their distress. We can do this with validation, which shows our emotional availability. 

They also need to feel us holding the boundary, by not supporting their avoidance. This sends the message that we trust their capacity to handle this.

‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this. What would feel brave right now?’♥️

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