by Sarah Sacks

375
VIEWS

The Beginning of the School Year – Whose Anxiety is it Anyway?

The Beginning of the School Year - Whose Anxiety is it Anyway

It is the day before school starts and, I find myself up late sewing on the last of the name tags to the children’s school uniform.  As I struggle to thread the needle once again, I wonder to myself  “what am I really doing here?”… 

There is something about the quality of the sewing, the need to sew a tag on every item of clothing, with such care and urgency, that makes me wonder.  As I tune into this wondering and sense into my body, I recall sitting alone on my bedroom floor as an adolescent, sewing name tags on to my own clothes before heading off to boarding school. 

The excitement quickly drowned out by a sense of overwhelming dread.  The dread of leaving the safety of my known environment, my family.  The dread of all the unknown challenges I would have to face alone.  The dread of being far away.  As I sit more with my experience, I begin to understand that it is as if I am sewing the pain of my past away, sewing my children closer to me, just as I had wanted my parents to hold me closer to them. 

Making space for this awareness, the urgency in the sewing lifts, the sadness flows through my body and transforms into a deep love.  A deep love for our children and a sense of wonder around what lies ahead for them in the school year. 

My ease, transfers into their ease, and at the school gates the next morning, we are all able to let go of each other with less fear and more excitement. They are growing up, but maybe I am too?

Taking time to be with our experience, can give the people that matter to us most the freedom to be with theirs.  If you or your children are struggling with the transition to school, perhaps consider talking to someone about your experience…you will be laying the path for the future.

About the Author: Sarah Sacks

Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator.  

Sarah’s warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change.

Qualifications – Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

You can find Sarah at The Grove Counselling and Therapy and on Facebook.

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BIG NEWS!

You`ve been asking for it - and here it is.

The Hey Warrior Workbook is now available for presale, for delivery on 20 August.

The workbook is the ultimate sidekick to ‘Hey Warrior’ and ‘Ups and Downs’.

It`s jam-packed with practical activities, powerful strategies, and clever little life skills, this workbook will help kids wrangle anxiety, build their brave, and navigate their big feelings (waaay easier when they have a guide!).

It`s playful. It`s practical. It`s got warmth, humour, and loads of heart.

Best of all, it will guide kids through their ups, downs, and everything in between, all while supporting them to explore their feelings, build self-awareness, and find what works for them.

The more kids can understand why they feel the way they do, and how those feelings influence what they do, the more they can meet those feelings with compassion, confidence, and clarity.

Because all kids can do amazing things with the right information. (But you already knew that!)

For ages 5-12. (And super helpful for grown-ups too.)

Available to order now from the online shop - link in the bio. Or save 15% with the Mighty 3 Bundle which includes Hey Warrior, Ups and Downs, and The Hey Warrior Workbook. ❤️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 11

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18380027137135518
BIG NEWS! You've been asking for it - and here it is. The Hey Warrior Workbook is now available for presale, for delivery on 20 August. The workbook is the ultimate sidekick to ‘Hey Warrior’ and ‘Ups and Downs’. It's jam-packed with practical activities, powerful strategies, and clever little life skills, this workbook will help kids wrangle anxiety, build their brave, and navigate their big feelings (waaay easier when they have a guide!). It's playful. It's practical. It's got warmth, humour, and loads of heart. Best of all, it will guide kids through their ups, downs, and everything in between, all while supporting them to explore their feelings, build self-awareness, and find what works for them. The more kids can understand why they feel the way they do, and how those feelings influence what they do, the more they can meet those feelings with compassion, confidence, and clarity. Because all kids can do amazing things with the right information. (But you already knew that!) For ages 5-12. (And super helpful for grown-ups too.) Available to order now from the online shop - link in the bio. Or save 15% with the Mighty 3 Bundle which includes Hey Warrior, Ups and Downs, and The Hey Warrior Workbook. ❤️

karenyoung_heysigmund

We don’t need the last word. We don’t need them to agree.

When there is a power struggle - we want … they want … we’re trying to convince them … they’re trying to convince us … - leave power on the table. It’s already yours because you’re the grown-up. You don’t need to convince them, and nothing they can do or say (or don’t do or say) will change that.

The presence they are looking for is an anchor presence - love + leadership - strong, steady, grounded and able to care for them through the storm.

Anchors don’t stop working when the storm hits. During the storm, they work harder to hold on and keep things safe. They don’t take things personally and they don’t judge their performance on how well or how quickly they can stop the storm.

It doesn’t matter if our kiddos don’t see things our way. They’re looking through a different lens - one that can’t always see around corners the way we might be able to. They don’t have the same resources, experiences, or skills as us. Neither did we at their age.

We’re in charge of keeping them, others, and their relationship with us safe. They’re in charge of how they respond.

It’s why boundaries have to be about what we do - because it’s all we can control.

Sometimes an anchor presence means recognising that we can’t stop the storm, and we don’t need to.

When they don’t have the skills or resources to do what we would like them to do in the moment, we do what we can do to keep the moment safe, while letting them know we are here for them.

If they’re hurting a sibling, we move the sibling away, and stay in connection while we do. ‘It’s okay to be angry. I won’t let you hurt their body (while we’re physically moving their sibling - that’s the boundary). I’m right here (relationship).’

Or if they’re yelling: ‘I want to hear what you want. I care about you much to listen when you’re saying those things about me. (Boundary - I’m not listening.)

Or, ‘You might stay angry with me for a while and that’s okay. I’m here when you want to talk about it, but I won’t listen while you’re yelling at me. Take your time. You’re not in trouble.’♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 8

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18127616737453276
We don’t need the last word. We don’t need them to agree. When there is a power struggle - we want … they want … we’re trying to convince them … they’re trying to convince us … - leave power on the table. It’s already yours because you’re the grown-up. You don’t need to convince them, and nothing they can do or say (or don’t do or say) will change that. The presence they are looking for is an anchor presence - love + leadership - strong, steady, grounded and able to care for them through the storm. Anchors don’t stop working when the storm hits. During the storm, they work harder to hold on and keep things safe. They don’t take things personally and they don’t judge their performance on how well or how quickly they can stop the storm. It doesn’t matter if our kiddos don’t see things our way. They’re looking through a different lens - one that can’t always see around corners the way we might be able to. They don’t have the same resources, experiences, or skills as us. Neither did we at their age. We’re in charge of keeping them, others, and their relationship with us safe. They’re in charge of how they respond. It’s why boundaries have to be about what we do - because it’s all we can control. Sometimes an anchor presence means recognising that we can’t stop the storm, and we don’t need to. When they don’t have the skills or resources to do what we would like them to do in the moment, we do what we can do to keep the moment safe, while letting them know we are here for them. If they’re hurting a sibling, we move the sibling away, and stay in connection while we do. ‘It’s okay to be angry. I won’t let you hurt their body (while we’re physically moving their sibling - that’s the boundary). I’m right here (relationship).’ Or if they’re yelling: ‘I want to hear what you want. I care about you much to listen when you’re saying those things about me. (Boundary - I’m not listening.) Or, ‘You might stay angry with me for a while and that’s okay. I’m here when you want to talk about it, but I won’t listen while you’re yelling at me. Take your time. You’re not in trouble.’♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Mattering is about feeling valued and feeling like I’m doing something that adds value. It doesn’t have to come from grades or schoolwork, and for so many kids it probably won’t. There are so many ways to help kids feel seen and valued that have nothing to do with schoolwork, but which can work to engage them in schoolwork. Little things make a big difference.

We also have to let our teachers know how much the matter. They are the greatest key to ‘mattering’ (or unmattering) in our schools and for our young people.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 2

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17952016169987182
Mattering is about feeling valued and feeling like I’m doing something that adds value. It doesn’t have to come from grades or schoolwork, and for so many kids it probably won’t. There are so many ways to help kids feel seen and valued that have nothing to do with schoolwork, but which can work to engage them in schoolwork. Little things make a big difference. We also have to let our teachers know how much the matter. They are the greatest key to ‘mattering’ (or unmattering) in our schools and for our young people.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

If we want to meet their learning needs, we first have to meet their relational ones. If we want them to be open to learning, they first have to open to the adult they are learning from - and they won’t be open if they don’t feel seen, safe, and cared for. It’s not always easy, it’s just how it is.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jun 29

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18277572268274860
If we want to meet their learning needs, we first have to meet their relational ones. If we want them to be open to learning, they first have to open to the adult they are learning from - and they won’t be open if they don’t feel seen, safe, and cared for. It’s not always easy, it’s just how it is.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

You know what`s lovely? Aside from Sundays and sunshine? …
Sales. 

You know what`s even lovelier?
Sales that are 25% off books and resources designed to help kiddos feel bigger, braver, and calmer.

For a short time, we’re taking 25% off books, plushies, courses, posters, and a bunch of tiny treasures that can help build courage and calm in kids and teens.

With the end of the financial year just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to top up your toolkit — or quietly replace those resources that have shimmied away while you weren’t looking. (We see you. We`ve been there.)

This one is for you. And the young ones in your life. Actually, this one is for everyone.

Happy shopping!

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jun 23

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17993676968654353
You know what's lovely? Aside from Sundays and sunshine? … Sales.  You know what's even lovelier? Sales that are 25% off books and resources designed to help kiddos feel bigger, braver, and calmer. For a short time, we’re taking 25% off books, plushies, courses, posters, and a bunch of tiny treasures that can help build courage and calm in kids and teens. With the end of the financial year just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to top up your toolkit — or quietly replace those resources that have shimmied away while you weren’t looking. (We see you. We've been there.) This one is for you. And the young ones in your life. Actually, this one is for everyone. Happy shopping!

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