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Exam Anxiety: Here’s How to Shake It (And Put In A Stellar Performance)

Exam Anxiety: Here's a Way to Shake It (And Put in a Stellar Performance)

The world can tend to feel a bit different at exam time, thanks to stress, exhaustion and way too many not so healthy (but so delicious) study snacks. And then there’s anxiety, hanging on a little too tightly. If only during the exam it would take itself quietly off to, you know, somewhere else, there would be no problem, but it doesn’t tend to work like that.

When it’s there it feels awful and can affect performance. You have enough to worry about at exam time so anything that can turn down the dial on exam anxiety has to be a good thing, right? Well here you go …

Researchers have found that a simple writing exercise can ease exam anxiety and greatly improve exam performance.

In a recent study, college students were given the opportunity to unload their test anxiety by writing about their exam worries for ten minutes before an exam. The idea was that by doing this, the valuable mental resources that were being taken up by worrying were freed up and made available to work on the exam.

According to associate professor of psychology Sian Beilock who co-authored the study, stressful situations take up working memory – the part of the brain that powers the retrieval and use of information. We only have a limited amount of memory, so the more that’s used up by worrying, the less there is available to nail the exam.

 Beilock is an expert on ‘choking under pressure’, a phenomenon that sees really capable people falling apart at the point of performance, not just in an exam room but also on the sports field, a high-stakes business meeting, an interview or anywhere there’s high pressure.

The Study: What they did.

 As part of the study, college students were given two maths tests. In the first one there was no pressure – students were told just to do their best.

The second one though! Just before the exam, researchers told students that the ones who did well would receive money and that other people in the team were depending on their success. On top of this, they were told that they would be recorded and reviewed by other teachers. Stressed yet?

Half the students were given ten minutes to write about how they were feeling about the test. The other half were told to just sit quietly.

What they found:

The students who wrote about their worries showed a 5% improvement in accuracy between the first maths test (given before the writing) and the second maths test (given after the writing). The group of students who didn’t write showed a 12% drop in accuracy between the two tests.

All up, that’s a 17% difference in performance between the people who wrote and the people who didn’t.

The results were replicated in a subsequent study with 9th grade biology students. Before an important finals exam, students were instructed to either write about how they felt about the test or to think about topics that weren’t related to the test.

Those who didn’t write had higher anxiety and performed worse than those who had, even when the student’s ability was taken into account. The writing task seemed to level the effect of anxiety – those in the writing group who had high exam anxiety performed just as well as though who weren’t as anxious. Out of the high anxiety students, those who wrote before the test averaged a B+ whereas the non-writers averaged a B-.

And finally …

The effect seems to be brought about writing specifically about thoughts and feelings related to the test, not just by writing in general.

Writing about your worries in relation to the task at hand is likely to be something that will help performance in all types of challenging situations – speeches, presentations, interviews, sports – not just exams. That’s good news for everyone – the world could always do with more brilliance. Exams measure ability and talent at a single moment in time and the reading of true potential can be skewed if anxiety steps in. Anything that can let potential shine through regardless of confidence or the tendency to be anxious is a good thing.

Pen, paper, now go be awesome.

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Their calm and courage starts with ours.

This doesn’t mean we have to feel calm or brave. The truth is that when a young person is anxious, angry, or overwhelmed, we probably won’t feel calm or brave.

Where you can, tap into that part of you that knows they are safe enough and that they are capable of being brave enough. Then breathe. 

Breathing calms our nervous system so theirs can settle alongside. 

This is co-regulation. It lets them borrow our calm when theirs is feeling out of reach for a while. Breathe and be with.

This is how calm is caught.

Now for the brave: Rather than avoiding the brave, important, growthful things they need to do, as long as they are safe, comfort them through it.

This takes courage. Of course you’ll want to protect them from anything that feels tough or uncomfortable, but as long as they are safe, we don’t need to.

This is how we give them the experience they need to trust their capacity to do hard things, even when they are anxious.

This is how we build their brave - gently, lovingly, one tiny brave step after another. 

Courage isn’t about being fearless - but about trusting they can do hard things when they feel anxious about it. This will take time and lots of experience. So first, we support them through the experience of anxiety by leading, calmly, bravely through the storm.

Because courage isn’t the absence of anxiety.

It’s moving forward, with support, until confidence catches up.♥️
‘Making sure they aren’t alone in it’ means making sure we, or another adult, helps them feel seen, safe, and cared as they move towards the brave, meaningful, growthful thing.❤️
Children will look to their closest adult - a parent, a teacher, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle - for signs of safety and signs of danger.

What the parent believes, the child will follow, for better or worse.

Anxiety doesn’t mean they aren’t safe or capable. It means they don’t feel safe or capable enough yet.

As long as they are safe, this is where they need to borrow our calm and certainty until they can find their own. 

The questions to ask are, ‘Do I believe they are safe and cared for here?’ ‘Do I believe they are capable?’

It’s okay if your answer is no to either of these. We aren’t meant to feel safe handing our kiddos over to every situation or to any adult.

But if the answer is no, that’s where the work is.

What do you need to know they are safe and cared for? What changes need to be made? What can help you feel more certain? Is their discomfort from something unsafe or from something growthful? What needs to happen to know they are capable of this?

This can be so tricky for parents as it isn’t always clear. Are they anxious because this is new or because it’s unsafe?

As long as they are relationally safe (or have an adult working towards this) and their bodies feel safe, the work is to believe in them enough for them to believe it too - to handle our very understandable distress at their distress, make space for their distress, and show them we believe in them by what we do next: support avoidance or brave behaviour.

As long as they are safe, we don’t need to get rid of their anxiety or big feelings. Lovingly make space for those feelings AND brave behaviour. They can feel anxious and do brave. 

‘I know this feels big. Bring all your feelings to me. I can look after you through all of it. And yes, this is happening. I know you can do this. We’ll do it together.’

But we have to be kind and patient with ourselves too. The same instinct that makes you a wonderful parent - the attachment instinct - might send your ‘they’re not safe’ radar into overdrive. 

Talk to their adults at school, talk to them, get the info you need to feel certain enough, and trust they are safe, and capable enough, even when anxiety (theirs and yours) is saying no.❤️
Anxiety in kids is tough for everyone - kids and the adults who care about them.

It’s awful for them and confusing for us. Do we move them forward? Hold them back? Is this growing them? Hurting them?

As long as they are safe - as long as they feel cared for through it and their bodies feel okay - anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong. 
It also doesn’t mean they aren’t capable.

It means there is a gap: ‘I want to, but I don’t know that I’ll be okay.’

As long as they are safe, they don’t need to avoid the situation. They need to keep going, with support, so they can gather the evidence they need. This might take time and lots of experiences.

The brain will always abandon the ‘I want to,’ in any situation that doesn’t have enough evidence - yet - that they’re safe.

Here’s the problem. If we support avoidance of safe situations, the brain doesn’t get the experience it needs to know the difference between hard, growthful things (like school, exams, driving tests, setting boundaries, job interviews, new friendships) and dangerous things. 

It takes time and lots of experience to be able to handle the discomfort of anxiety - and all hard, important, growthful things will come with anxiety.

The work for us isn’t to hold them back from safe situations (even though we’ll want to) but to help them feel supported through the anxiety.

This is part of helping them gather the evidence their brains and bodies need to know they can feel safe and do hard things, even when they are anxious.

Think of the space between comfortable (before the growthful thing) and ‘I’ve done the important, growthful thing,’ as ‘the brave space’. 

But it never feels brave. It feels like anxious, nervous, stressed, scared, awkward, clumsy. It’s all brave - because that’s what anxiety is. It’s handling the discomfort of the brave space while they inch toward the important thing.

Any experience in the brave space matters. Even if it’s just little steps at a time. Why? Because this is where they learn that they don’t need to be scared of anxiety when they’re heading towards something important. As long as they are safe, the anxiety of the brave space won’t hurt them. It will grow them.❤️
In the first few days or weeks of school, feelings might get big. This might happen before school (the anticipation) or after school (when their nervous systems reach capacity).

As long as they are safe (relationally, physiologically) their anxiety is normal and understandable and we don’t need to ‘fix’ it or rush them through it. 

They’re doing something big, something brave. Their brains and bodies will be searching for the familiar in the unfamiliar. They’re getting to know new routines, spaces, people. It’s a lot! Feeling safe in that might take time. But feeling safe and being safe are different. 

We don’t need to stop their anxiety or rush them through it. Our work is to help them move with it. Because when they feel anxious, and get safely through the other side of that anxiety, they learn something so important: they learn they can do hard things - even when they feel like they don’t have what it takes, they can do hard things. We know this about them already, but they’ll need experience in safe, caring environments, little by little, to know this for themselves.

Help them move through it by letting them know that all their feelings are safe with you, that their feelings make sense, and at the end of the day, let those feelings do what they need to. If they need to burst out of them like a little meteor shower, that’s okay. Maybe they’ll need to talk, or not, or cry, or get loud, or play, or be still, or messy for a while. That’s okay. It’s a nervous system at capacity looking for the release valve. It’s not a bad child. It’s never that. 

Tomorrow might be tricker, and the next day trickier, until their brains and bodies get enough experience that this is okay.

As long as they are safe, and they get there, it all counts. It’s all brave. It’s all enough.❤️