The True Value of Healthy Habits We’re Teaching Our Kids

The True Value of Healthy Habits We’re Teaching Our Kids

Raising your kids and teaching them to grow up into responsible and hardworking young people is surely not an easy task, but it has to be done no matter what. You will have to deal with numerous challenges in order to get this done, but trust us – it’ll be worth all the effort. If you are wondering how to do that successfully, stay with us. Here are six healthy habits you need to teach your children.

  1. Emotional Health Comes First

    Emotional health is pretty much underrated these days, when there are medicines and magic pills for every problem we might encounter. Still, it is crucial that your little ones understand its importance. Emotional stability can be seen as a useful trait nowadays, since we lead hectic lives and burn out quickly. Teach your kids to maintain deep relationships with people, especially with you, their siblings, friends, and the rest of the family. This will help them establish other kinds of relationships later in life.

  2. Everything is About Balance

    As an adult, you know that it’s extremely hard to find balance in life. Sometimes it even seems unattainable, since we are often stuck in the grip of our jobs and other grown-up responsibilities. However, you should do your best when teaching your children that having balance is essential. Show them how to manage their tasks from an early age, teach them that fun always comes after hard work, and that they can have it all. Work hard – play hard, right?

  3. Hard Work Always Pays off

    Teaching kids to have a good work ethic will help them manage their responsibilities properly, when it comes to both their school work and job. Even though you may want to make everything as easy as possible for them, that will do them more harm than good when they grow up. Instead, teach them that hard work always pays off and you will see them growing up into responsible, diligent young people who really mean business.

  4. Appreciate Nature

    In the era of immense technological innovations and the rapid development of the Internet, it can be very hard to get your kids outdoor and teach them to love nature. The majority of them would rather stay home playing video games or watching TV for hours, which can be bad for both their physical and mental health. Prove them that they can have fun outside of their comfort zone, and your kids will be grateful for teaching them how to connect with nature in the best way possible.

  5. Managing Moods Is the Key to Success

    A skill of mood management is another true gem your kids need to develop. In case you didn’t know, we have the ability to consciously change our moods, meaning that we are actually in charge of our own emotions. Experts advise that parents should teach their kids to identify, monitor and shift their own moods, so that they can correct negative thoughts all by themselves. That will surely lead to a positive attitude and self-image which are more than rewarding.

  6. Cultivate Fun and Optimism

    Having fun and laughing out loud is certainly the best cure for everything, so make sure that your kids are aware of that. The more we get together and laugh together, the happier we’ll be! Happiness and optimism are real game-changers that can improve not only your mood, but also your life in general. So teach your kids that valuable lesson and watch them grow up happy. It doesn’t get better than that!

Raising kids is definitely a difficult task that requires a lot of work, patience and effort. However, you’ll see that it will pay off. Seeing your kids happy and successful is what counts, so make sure that you have done everything you possibly could in order to achieve that. Help your kids overcome all the obstacles instead of overcoming them by yourself, and you will give them the most valuable thing – the knowledge about the world.


About the Author: Sophia Smith

Sophia is Australian based beauty, lifestyle and health blogger. She is very passionate about organic beauty products, healthy lifestyle and personal development. She is regular contributor at High Style Life.

Find her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google +

2 Comments

Meg Ferrante

Would love to see a post about number 5 alone. Mood management is truly important but to me, the hardest one on the list. My 10-year-old LOVES to run away when he is angry or wronged. I picture a lifetime of him running away from his problems and it scares me. I want to help him and I do try (pull him back in the room, get down on his level, take my voice to a whisper, etc) What else can we do to help him? For 88 percent of the day, he is as happy as a lark but when the worm turns, LOOK OUT!

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Anxiety is a sign that the brain has registered threat and is mobilising the body to get to safety. One of the ways it does this is by organising the body for movement - to fight the danger or flee the danger. 

If there is no need or no opportunity for movement, that fight or flight fuel will still be looking for expression. This can come out as wriggly, fidgety, hyperactive behaviour. This is why any of us might pace or struggle to sit still when we’re anxious. 

If kids or teens are bouncing around, wriggling in their chairs, or having trouble sitting still, it could be anxiety. Remember with anxiety, it’s not about what is actually safe but about what the brain perceives. New or challenging work, doing something unfamiliar, too much going on, a tired or hungry body, anything that comes with any chance of judgement, failure, humiliation can all throw the brain into fight or flight.

When this happens, the body might feel busy, activated, restless. This in itself can drive even more anxiety in kids or teens. Any of us can struggle when we don’t feel comfortable in our own bodies. 

Anxiety is energy with nowhere to go. To move through anxiety, give the energy somewhere to go - a fast walk, a run, a whole-body shake, hula hooping, kicking a ball - any movement that spends the energy will help bring the brain and body back to calm.♥️
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#parenting #anxietyinkids #childanxiety #parenting #parent
This is not bad behaviour. It’s big behaviour a from a brain that has registered threat and is working hard to feel safe again. 

‘Threat’ isn’t about what is actually safe or not, but about what the brain perceives. The brain can perceive threat when there is any chance missing out on or messing up something important, anything that feels unfamiliar, hard, or challenging, feeling misunderstood, thinking you might be angry or disappointed with them, being separated from you, being hungry or tired, anything that pushes against their sensory needs - so many things. 

During anxiety, the amygdala in the brain is switched to high volume, so other big feelings will be too. This might look like tears, sadness, or anger. 

Big feelings have a good reason for being there. The amygdala has the very important job of keeping us safe, and it does this beautifully, but not always with grace. One of the ways the amygdala keeps us safe is by calling on big feelings to recruit social support. When big feelings happen, people notice. They might not always notice the way we want to be noticed, but we are noticed. This increases our chances of safety. 

Of course, kids and teens still need our guidance and leadership and the conversations that grow them, but not during the emotional storm. They just won’t hear you anyway because their brain is too busy trying to get back to safety. In that moment, they don’t want to be fixed or ‘grown’. They want to feel seen, safe and heard. 

During the storm, preserve your connection with them as much as you can. You might not always be able to do this, and that’s okay. None of this is about perfection. If you have a rupture, repair it as soon as you can. Then, when their brains and bodies come back to calm, this is the time for the conversations that will grow them. 

Rather than, ‘What consequences do they need to do better?’, shift to, ‘What support do they need to do better?’ The greatest support will come from you in a way they can receive: ‘What happened?’ ‘What can you do differently next time?’ ‘You’re the most wonderful kid and I know you didn’t want this to happen. How can you put things right? Do you need my help with that?’♥️
Big behaviour is a sign of a nervous system in distress. Before anything, that vulnerable nervous system needs to be brought back home to felt safety. 

This will happen most powerfully with relationship and connection. Breathe and be with. Let them know you get it. This can happen with words or nonverbals. It’s about feeling what they feel, but staying regulated.

If they want space, give them space but stay in emotional proximity, ‘Ok I’m just going to stay over here. I’m right here if you need.’

If they’re using spicy words to make sure there is no confusion about how they feel about you right now, flag the behaviour, then make your intent clear, ‘I know how upset you are and I want to understand more about what’s happening for you. I’m not going to do this while you’re speaking to me like this. You can still be mad, but you need to be respectful. I’m here for you.’

Think of how you would respond if a friend was telling you about something that upset her. You wouldn’t tell her to calm down, or try to fix her (she’s not broken), or talk to her about her behaviour. You would just be there. You would ‘drop an anchor’ and steady those rough seas around her until she feels okay enough again. Along the way you would be doing things that let her know your intent to support her. You’d do this with you facial expressions, your voice, your body, your posture. You’d feel her feels, and she’d feel you ‘getting her’. It’s about letting her know that you understand what she’s feeling, even if you don’t understand why (or agree with why). 

It’s the same for our children. As their important big people, they also need leadership. The time for this is after the storm has passed, when their brains and bodies feel safe and calm. Because of your relationship, connection and their felt sense of safety, you will have access to their ‘thinking brain’. This is the time for those meaningful conversations: 
- ‘What happened?’
- ‘What did I do that helped/ didn’t help?’
- ‘What can you do differently next time?’
- ‘You’re a great kid and I know you didn’t want this to happen, but here we are. What can you do to put things right? Do you need my help with that?’♥️
As children grow, and especially by adolescence, we have the illusion of control but whether or not we have any real influence will be up to them. The temptation to control our children will always come from a place of love. Fear will likely have a heavy hand in there too. When they fall, we’ll feel it. Sometimes it will feel like an ache in our core. Sometimes it will feel like failure or guilt, or anger. We might wish we could have stopped them, pushed a little harder, warned a little bigger, stood a little closer. We’re parents and we’re human and it’s what this parenting thing does. It makes fear and anxiety billow around us like lost smoke, too easily.

Remember, they want you to be proud of them, and they want to do the right thing. When they feel your curiosity over judgement, and the safety of you over shame, it will be easier for them to open up to you. Nobody will guide them better than you because nobody will care more about where they land. They know this, but the magic happens when they also know that you are safe and that you will hold them, their needs, their opinions and feelings with strong, gentle, loving hands, no matter what.♥️
Anger is the ‘fight’ part of the fight or flight response. It has important work to do. Anger never exists on its own. It exists to hold other more vulnerable emotions in a way that feels safer. It’s sometimes feels easier, safer, more acceptable, stronger to feel the ‘big’ that comes with anger, than the vulnerability that comes with anxiety, sadness, loneliness. This isn’t deliberate. It’s just another way our bodies and brains try to keep us safe. 

The problem isn’t the anger. The problem is the behaviour that can come with the anger. Let there be no limits on thoughts and feelings, only behaviour. When children are angry, as long as they are safe and others are safe, we don’t need to fix their anger. They aren’t broken. Instead, drop the anchor: as much as you can - and this won’t always be easy - be a calm, steadying, loving presence to help bring their nervous systems back home to calm. 

Then, when they are truly calm, and with love and leadership, have the conversations that will grow them - 
- What happened? 
- What can you do differently next time?
- You’re a really great kid. I know you didn’t want this to happen but here we are. How can you make things right. Would you like some ideas? Do you need some help with that?
- What did I do that helped? What did I do that didn’t help? Is there something that might feel more helpful next time?

When their behaviour falls short of ‘adorable’, rather than asking ‘What consequences they need to do better?’ let the question be, ‘What support do they need to do better.’ Often, the biggest support will be a conversation with you, and that will be enough.♥️
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#parenting #positiveparenting #mindfulparenting #anxietyinkids

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