Why All the Gloom and Doom About Kids and Screens?

Why All the Gloom and Doom About Kids and Screens?

As if  parents need another thing to feel guilty about, the American Academy of Pediatrics standards of no screens before 2 years is the golden rule of babyhood. But, it seems arbitrary. Why is 23 months and 29 days not okay for screens but my 24 months and 1-day old child can watch two hours?! This seems crazy.  

I agree that they are in need of some revision. But, take it from a mom and psychologist who has been there, there are some really good reasons to limit screens as much as possible for young children (under five). Rather than promoting an arbitrary rule, I am going to review this research. Parents can use this information to make an informed decision.

We are going to break down why there is gloom and doom about screens and young kids. Children’s brains demonstrate plasticity, meaning change occurs based on the input received. This is one reason why it is easy for an infant to learn two languages and speak like a native in both. Yet adults must engage in a much more laborious process and our accent will always give us away. This is also one reason why human babies are so dependent. They require socialization through the love and input provided by  one or more caregivers. Other external environmental sources influence brain development, as well.

Screens are one form of developmental input. Let’s review how they can affect your child.  Here are nine research studies about screens and young children that every parent should know. 

  1. Background noise.

    When children are babies, the television is often not on for them. Rather it is in the category of “background noise” for the child, meaning the program is on for the adults in the room while the child plays or cuddles nearby.  Surveys suggest young children experience as much four hours of background television per day.  Children under 2 years of age are watching and being influenced by this “background noise.” Research findings suggest that background television slows language development, decreases the quality and quantity of children’s play, and results in poorer infant-caregiver relationships.

  1. Educational DVDS.

    Parents often choose educational DVDs to help their children. However, makers of educational DVDs have been forced by the Federal Trade Commission to remove the word “educational” from their materials and are fined hefty fees for their inappropriate and misleading marketing.  One research study demonstrated that for each hour of “educational” DVDs  infants viewed, they understood 8-16 fewer words.

  1. Bobo doll and aggression.

    If you have taken an introductory Psychology course, you have likely heard about Albert Bandura and his Bobo doll studies (Bandura, A. (1975). Social Learning & Personality Development. New York, NY, USA:Holt, Rinehart & Winston). He had children watch a video of an adult behaving violently towards a doll and (surprise, surprise), the children were then violent towards the same doll when given the opportunity.  The children even developed new ways of being violent towards the doll that were not demonstrated in the video (using a play gun). It may seem obvious, but this was revolutionary for a variety of reasons in the 1960’s.  It is important as a caregiver to understand that your child is going to “try out” behaviors they see portrayed on the screen.

  1. Content analyses and TV violence in children’s programming.

    Okay, so you won’t show your children violent or aggressive programming? This may be harder than you think.  A content analysis in 2007 found that children’s television programming tends to be more violent than adults’.  Over two-thirds of all children’s programming contained violence. And, it was most often portrayed as funny and consequences were not depicted.

  1. What happens when television is introduced where it has never been before?

    Even more evidence is added to the link between aggression in children and television programming. In the early 1980’s, there were towns in Canada which did not have any television programming, but would be receiving it soon. A researcher capitalized on this and studied the children in these towns before and after the introduction of television.  Her most robust finding was an intense increase in aggression in the children.  The aggression was observed by researchers using a coding system and checklist ratings by children and their teachers showed agreement. Aggressive acts between children doubled.

  1. Longitudinal research on weight gain.

    The link between screens and weight gain has been well-documented. It has a couple of pathways: children who are watching screens are not being active, children who watch screens consume more calories, and they are exposed to high-calorie, poor nutrition foods. The link is so strong that longitudinal research has demonstrated a link between viewing television in childhood and excess weight in adulthood.

  1. Attention problems in school.

    Children can stare at the same television screen for an unbelievably long time. However, that is not a demonstration of their great attention span. In fact, it’s likely just the opposite. Many children’s entertainment programs have incredibly fast screen shifts. They are changing so quickly that your child’s brain is trying to keep up. Research has demonstrated a link between entertainment television viewing prior to age 3 and attention problems once the children enter formal schooling. For each hour of television viewing, the child has a 10% greater risk for attention problems.

  1. Decreased executive functioning.

    The research on the relationship between screens in young children and attention has gone even further. Researchers showed children entertainment television (Sponge Bob Square Pants) and found that following the video, children performed significantly worse on tasks which required impulse control, delaying gratification, and planning.

  1. TV and Sleep.

    One thing we all want our young children to do is to sleep well.  Research on screens and sleep is incredibly clear: screens lead to more irregular sleep patterns, later bedtimes, and decreased sleep overall.  And, this is not one research study either.  This is a review of over 67 research studies analyzing the relationship between screens and sleep.

So, there are actually research  findings that  suggest that keeping your child screen-free for the first few years of their lives may do them a great deal of good.  And, there is no evidence to suggest that being screen-free will cause them any harm.  If “First, do no harm,” applies not only to doctors but also to parents, we would do well to turn off the screen.  There are plenty of other ways for children to fill their time. Another benefit of being screen-free that I have noticed is that my children do not have any screen “habits.” My 4-year-old daughter never asks for screens; she hasn’t built a dependency on a screen to fill her time while I prepare dinner, nor during car rides or downtime.  Being screen-free when they are babies actually makes it a lot easier to enforce screen limits as they get older. As children age, certainly screens will be a part of their lives. Armed with this information, a parent can carefully choose programming that minimizes the negative effects.

Which study is the most shocking to you?  Do you notice any other negative effects of screens on young children? Share with us in the comments section.


About the Author: Meghan Owenz

Meghan Owenz

Screen-Free Mom is a psychologist, writer and a university psychology instructor. She has her Doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Miami and Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University. She is happily raising her two kids sans screens. She runs a website: www.screenfreeparenting.com where she writes about tech-wise parenting and provides tons of screen-free activities. She has developed psychologically-based system to help organize the activities young children learn and grow from: the S.P.O.I.L. system (http://www.screenfreeparenting.com/introduction-spoil-system/ ). Before you turn on the screen, she asks, “Have you S.P.O.I.L.-ed your child yet today?

You can follow Screen-Free Parenting via her website newsletter or on

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/screenfreeparenting

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/screenfree

Twitter: www.twitter.com/screenfreemom

[irp posts=”2204″ name=”Why All the Gloom and Doom About Kids and Screens? (by Meghan Owenz)”]

9 Comments

Skeeter Buck

I really appreciate the data in this article. Our son is 7 and we didn’t expose him to television until after he was 3. At the age of 3 we introduce him to the iPad to help with delayed speech.

We now closely monitor his screen time and limit him to 30 minutes iPad time a day after school.

We also have created a family movie night (Friday’s) were we rotate the movie choice between family members and we all watch it together.

Reply
Healthy Skepticism

Interesting. From my own experience, the TV is always on in our house. By and large my 3 kids have virtually no interest in it except for maybe 1/2 an hour a day where they get captivated in show or 2. On the flipside, their cousins have screentime only on weekends and they cannot take themselves away from it when it’s on – even when they have guests.

Reply
Adrian Kuypers

I have a 4 month old infant who intently watches TV. He has been diagnosed with Epileptic Encephalitis.
This bothers me because I thought the might be a connections between the flickering lights or TV screen and epileptic or myoclonic seizures.

Reply
Helen

Hi Adrian, there could well be a link between tv and your child’s epilepsy. Everyone has a seizure threshold, and people who have epilepsy have low seizure thresholds, which means that it takes less to bring on a seizure. Triggers such as flashing lights from the tv, being woken up by having a light turned on, bumping one’s head, illness, stress, and many more, can bring on a seizure.
My son has temporal lobe focal seizures which are easily triggered by light, especially from tv and tablet screens. This strongly affects his mood, behaviour and use of language. Restricting his television/screen time, is extremely important in controlling his seizures.

Reply
EMCNC

Love this article! My best advice for parents is delay access to screens for as long as possible. A child does not benefit from screens, and the hours of screen “entertainment” just keeps them from doing more age-appropriate and beneficial activities. And, kids don’t need smartphones. Not one parent I know doesn’t regret getting their child a smartphone (or as I like to call it – a high powered pocket computer that happens to have a phone and camera on it!). Your child will not miss anything not being connected to friends and social media 24/7. They will actually be better off! We just need the community of parents to use some common sense on this subject. Once the “screen” life (habit) takes over, it is hard for a child (or adult) to manage, and kids can’t self regulate. An adult (currently) has had the advantage of growing up without the constant input and distraction from screens, and has a developed pre-frontal cortex. We owe this to our kids, stop shoving a screen in their face! They will only be better off for it!

Reply
Delia Rusu

I don’t know that the TV is really that much of an addiction these days.

I’d say that other devices like phones, iPads and computers are the screen that kids and adults (for that matter) are more attached to.

And the big issue with these, in my opinion, is that they distract and tire us more than anything else.

Reply
Tara

I restricted screen with my daughter in her early years and also post 8 years. She is now 13 and lives for the screen – she learns an incredible amount from what she watches and always has learned from whatever she has watched. It has not caused aggression or anything else and I wonder if I had not restricted when she was younger whether she would now not use screens so much. Adults use screens all the time – they are everywhere – this is the way things are going BUT as long as learning is happening and what is learned is being put to use in the real world then not a problem.

Reply
Danielle

Maybe she is using screens to learn because you raised her screen-less but gave her opportunities to develop strong values so she doesn’t necessarily rely on a screen? I notice that a lot of kids who are not raised on screens at an early age tend to interact with technology more intellectually and tend to use more creativity. There are also a lot of great educational shows out there. Seems you raised your daughter well if she is taking the good value out of it and leaving the bad behind.

Reply
EMCNC

Hi Tara, one of the reasons your daughter does not display aggression (or behavioral issues) and bad screen habits is probably because you restricted her access until she was 8 years old. Consider yourself very fortunate! She was able to develop other, important social and life skills that will be so beneficial for her as she gets older. The older a child gets you do need to be aware of the amount of time a child is in front of a screen and the content of the media. Is the amount of time spent on a screen keeping her from participating in other “real” activities, relationships, school work, sleep or physical activity? Balance and connection with family are key!

Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Follow Hey Sigmund on Instagram

How we are with them, when they are their everyday selves and when they aren’t so adorable, will build their view of three things: the world, its people, and themselves. This will then inform how they respond to the world and how they build their very important space in it. 

Will it be a loving, warm, open-hearted space with lots of doors for them to throw open to the people and experiences that are right for them? Or will it be a space with solid, too high walls that close out too many of the people and experiences that would nourish them.

They will learn from what we do with them and to them, for better or worse. We don’t teach them that the world is safe for them to reach into - we show them. We don’t teach them to be kind, respectful, and compassionate. We show them. We don’t teach them that they matter, and that other people matter, and that their voices and their opinions matter. We show them. We don’t teach them that they are little joy mongers who light up the world. We show them. 

But we have to be radically kind with ourselves too. None of this is about perfection. Parenting is hard, and days will be hard, and on too many of those days we’ll be hard too. That’s okay. We’ll say things we shouldn’t say and do things we shouldn’t do. We’re human too. Let’s not put pressure on our kiddos to be perfect by pretending that we are. As long as we repair the ruptures as soon as we can, and bathe them in love and the warmth of us as much as we can, they will be okay.

This also isn’t about not having boundaries. We need to be the guardians of their world and show them where the edges are. But in the guarding of those boundaries we can be strong and loving, strong and gentle. We can love them, and redirect their behaviour.

It’s when we own our stuff(ups) and when we let them see us fall and rise with strength, integrity, and compassion, and when we hold them gently through the mess of it all, that they learn about humility, and vulnerability, and the importance of holding bruised hearts with tender hands. It’s not about perfection, it’s about consistency, and honesty, and the way we respond to them the most.♥️

#parenting #mindfulparenting
Anxiety and courage always exist together. It can be no other way. Anxiety is a call to courage. It means you're about to do something brave, so when there is one the other will be there too. Their courage might feel so small and be whisper quiet, but it will always be there and always ready to show up when they need it to.
⁣
But courage doesn’t always feel like courage, and it won't always show itself as a readiness. Instead, it might show as a rising - from fear, from uncertainty, from anger. None of these mean an absence of courage. They are the making of space, and the opportunity for courage to rise.
⁣
When the noise from anxiety is loud and obtuse, we’ll have to gently add our voices to usher their courage into the light. We can do this speaking of it and to it, and by shifting the focus from their anxiety to their brave. The one we focus on is ultimately what will become powerful. It will be the one we energise. Anxiety will already have their focus, so we’ll need to make sure their courage has ours.
⁣
But we have to speak to their fear as well, in a way that makes space for it to be held and soothed, with strength. Their fear has an important job to do - to recruit the support of someone who can help them feel safe. Only when their fear has been heard will it rest and make way for their brave.
⁣
What does this look like? Tell them their stories of brave, but acknowledge the fear that made it tough. Stories help them process their emotional experiences in a safe way. It brings word to the feelings and helps those big feelings make sense and find containment. ‘You were really worried about that exam weren’t you. You couldn’t get to sleep the night before. It was tough going to school but you got up, you got dressed, you ... and you did it. Then you ...’
⁣
In the moment, speak to their brave by first acknowledging their need to flee (or fight), then tell them what you know to be true - ‘This feels scary for you doesn’t it. I know you want to run. It makes so much sense that you would want to do that. I also know you can do hard things. My darling, I know it with everything in me.’
⁣
#positiveparenting #parenting #childanxiety #anxietyinchildren #mindfulpare
Separation anxiety has an important job to do - it’s designed to keep children safe by driving them to stay close to their important adults. Gosh it can feel brutal sometimes though.

Whenever there is separation from an attachment person there will be anxiety unless there are two things: attachment with another trusted, loving adult; and a felt sense of you holding on, even when you aren't beside them. Putting these in place will help soften anxiety.

As long as children are are in the loving care of a trusted adult, there's no need to avoid separation. We'll need to remind ourselves of this so we can hold on to ourselves when our own anxiety is rising in response to theirs. 

If separation is the problem, connection has to be the solution. The connection can be with any loving adult, but it's more than an adult being present. It needs an adult who, through their strong, warm, loving presence, shows the child their abundant intention to care for that child, and their joy in doing so. This can be helped along by showing that you trust the adult to love that child big in our absence. 'I know [important adult] loves you and is going to take such good care of you.'

To help your young one feel held on to by you, even in absence, let them know you'll be thinking of them and can't wait to see them. Bolster this by giving them something of yours to hold while you're gone - a scarf, a note - anything that will be felt as 'you'.

They know you are the one who makes sure their world is safe, so they’ll be looking to you for signs of safety: 'Do you think we'll be okay if we aren't together?' First, validate: 'You really want to stay with me, don't you. I wish I could stay with you too! It's hard being away from your special people isn't it.' Then, be their brave. Let it be big enough to wrap around them so they can rest in the safety and strength of it: 'I know you can do this, love. We can do hard things can't we.'

Part of growing up brave is learning that the presence of anxiety doesn't always mean something is wrong. Sometimes it means they are on the edge of brave - and being away from you for a while counts as brave.
Even the most loving, emotionally available adult might feel frustration, anger, helplessness or distress in response to a child’s big feelings. This is how it’s meant to work. 

Their distress (fight/flight) will raise distress in us. The purpose is to move us to protect or support or them, but of course it doesn’t always work this way. When their big feelings recruit ours it can drive us more to fight (anger, blame), or to flee (avoid, ignore, separate them from us) which can steal our capacity to support them. It will happen to all of us from time to time. 

Kids and teens can’t learn to manage big feelings on their own until they’ve done it plenty of times with a calm, loving adult. This is where co-regulation comes in. It helps build the vital neural pathways between big feelings and calm. They can’t build those pathways on their own. 

It’s like driving a car. We can tell them how to drive as much as we like, but ‘talking about’ won’t mean they’re ready to hit the road by themselves. Instead we sit with them in the front seat for hours, driving ‘with’ until they can do it on their own. Feelings are the same. We feel ‘with’, over and over, until they can do it on their own. 

What can help is pausing for a moment to see the behaviour for what it is - a call for support. It’s NOT bad behaviour or bad parenting. It’s not that.

Our own feelings can give us a clue to what our children are feeling. It’s a normal, healthy, adaptive way for them to share an emotional load they weren’t meant to carry on their own. Self-regulation makes space for us to hold those feelings with them until those big feelings ease. 

Self-regulation can happen in micro moments. First, see the feelings or behaviour for what it is - a call for support. Then breathe. This will calm your nervous system, so you can calm theirs. In the same way we will catch their distress, they will also catch ours - but they can also catch our calm. Breathe, validate, and be ‘with’. And you don’t need to do more than that.
When things feel hard or the world feels big, children will be looking to their important adults for signs of safety. They will be asking, ‘Do you think I'm safe?' 'Do you think I can do this?' With everything in us, we have to send the message, ‘Yes! Yes love, this is hard and you are safe. You can do hard things.'

Even if we believe they are up to the challenge, it can be difficult to communicate this with absolute confidence. We love them, and when they're distressed, we're going to feel it. Inadvertently, we can align with their fear and send signals of danger, especially through nonverbals. 

What they need is for us to align with their 'brave' - that part of them that wants to do hard things and has the courage to do them. It might be small but it will be there. Like a muscle, courage strengthens with use - little by little, but the potential is always there.

First, let them feel you inside their world, not outside of it. This lets their anxious brain know that support is here - that you see what they see and you get it. This happens through validation. It doesn't mean you agree. It means that you see what they see, and feel what they feel. Meet the intensity of their emotion, so they can feel you with them. It can come off as insincere if your nonverbals are overly calm in the face of their distress. (Think a zen-like low, monotone voice and neutral face - both can be read as threat by an anxious brain). Try:

'This is big for you isn't it!' 
'It's awful having to do things you haven't done before. What you are feeling makes so much sense. I'd feel the same!

Once they really feel you there with them, then they can trust what comes next, which is your felt belief that they will be safe, and that they can do hard things. 

Even if things don't go to plan, you know they will cope. This can be hard, especially because it is so easy to 'catch' their anxiety. When it feels like anxiety is drawing you both in, take a moment, breathe, and ask, 'Do I believe in them, or their anxiety?' Let your answer guide you, because you know your young one was built for big, beautiful things. It's in them. Anxiety is part of their move towards brave, not the end of it.

Pin It on Pinterest