karenyoung_heysigmund
Love and lead.
First, we love. Validation lets them know we see them. Validation is a presence, not a speech. It’s showing our willingness to sit with them in the ‘big’ of it all, without needing to talk them out of how they feel.
It says, ‘I see you. I believe you that this feels big. Bring your feelings to me, because I can look after you through all of it.’
Then, we lead. Our response will lead theirs, not just this time, but well into the future.
If we support avoidance, their need to avoid will grow. The message we send is, ‘Maybe you aren’t safe here. Maybe you can’t handle this. Maybe your anxiety is telling the truth.’
Of course, if they truly aren’t safe, then avoidance is important.
But if they are safe and we support avoidance, we are inadvertently teaching them to avoid anything that comes with anxiety - and all brave, new, hard, important things will come with anxiety.
Think about job interviews, meeting new people, first dates, approaching someone to say sorry, saying no - all of these will come with anxiety.
The experiences they have now in being able to move forward with anxiety in scary-safe situations (like school) will breathe life into their capacity to do the hard, important things that will nourish and grow them for the rest of their lives. First though, they will be watching you for signs as to whether or not anxiety is a stop sign or a warning. The key to loving bravely and wholly is knowing the difference.
Teach them to ask themselves, ‘Do I feel like this because I’m in danger? (Is this scary dangerous?) Or because there’s something brave, new, hard, important I need to do. (Is this scary-safe?). Then, ‘Is this a time to be safe or brave?’
To show them we believe they are safe and capable, try, ‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this.’ Then, give them a squeeze, hand them to a trusted adult, and give them a quick, confident goodbye. Their tears won’t hurt them, as long as they aren’t alone in their tears.
It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, as long as they are forward.♥️
Dominique –
The book has absolutely beautiful illustrations and really portrays the journey of mental health for kids. It is empowering and gives a familiar face for the feeling which normalized the emotions.
Laura –
A delightful and informative book that takes children on an engaging journey through the complexities of their own bodies. Written in a language that is accessible and relatable to young readers, this book succeeds in making the intricate workings of the nervous system both understandable and fascinating.
One of the things I appreciate most about this book is its ability to simplify complex concepts without sacrificing accuracy. Through colorful illustrations and easy-to-follow explanations, children are introduced to the different parts of the nervous system and how they work together to help us move, think, and feel. The author does an excellent job of breaking down these concepts into bite-sized pieces that are easy for kids to digest.
What sets this book apart is its emphasis on empowerment. Rather than simply presenting information, the author encourages children to take an active role in understanding and caring for their own nervous systems. From tips on practicing mindfulness to suggestions for staying safe and healthy, this book equips young readers with practical tools they can use in their everyday lives.