Sale!
Ups and Downs Bundle: Book + A2 Poster (Save 20%)
Save 15% when you buy the ‘Ups and Downs’ book and A2 poster together.
AUD 39.00AUD 35.10
Save 15% when you buy the ‘Ups and Downs’ book and A2 poster together.
AUD 39.00AUD 35.10
It’s the simple things that are everything. We know play, conversation, micro-connections, predictability, and having a responsive reliable relationship with at least one loving adult, can make the most profound difference in buffering and absorbing the sharp edges of the world. Not all children will get this at home. Many are receiving it from childcare or school. It all matters - so much.
But simple isn’t always easy.
Even for children from safe, loving, homes with engaged, loving parent/s there is so much now that can swallow our kids whole if we let it - the unsafe corners of the internet; screen time that intrudes on play, connection, stillness, sleep, and joy; social media that force feeds unsafe ideas of ‘normal’, and algorithms that hijack the way they see the world.
They don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to be enough. Enough to balance what they’re getting fed when they aren’t with us. Enough talking to them, playing with them, laughing with them, noticing them, enjoying them, loving and leading them. Not all the time. Just enough of the time.
But first, we might have to actively protect the time when screens, social media, and the internet are out of their reach. Sometimes we’ll need to do this even when they fight hard against it.
We don’t need them to agree with us. We just need to hear their anger or upset when we change what they’ve become used to. ‘I know you don’t want this and I know you’re angry at me for reducing your screen time. And it’s happening. You can be annoyed, and we’re still [putting phones and iPads in the basket from 5pm] (or whatever your new rules are).’♥️
Nov 23
![It’s the simple things that are everything. We know play, conversation, micro-connections, predictability, and having a responsive reliable relationship with at least one loving adult, can make the most profound difference in buffering and absorbing the sharp edges of the world. Not all children will get this at home. Many are receiving it from childcare or school. It all matters - so much.
But simple isn’t always easy.
Even for children from safe, loving, homes with engaged, loving parent/s there is so much now that can swallow our kids whole if we let it - the unsafe corners of the internet; screen time that intrudes on play, connection, stillness, sleep, and joy; social media that force feeds unsafe ideas of ‘normal’, and algorithms that hijack the way they see the world.
They don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to be enough. Enough to balance what they’re getting fed when they aren’t with us. Enough talking to them, playing with them, laughing with them, noticing them, enjoying them, loving and leading them. Not all the time. Just enough of the time.
But first, we might have to actively protect the time when screens, social media, and the internet are out of their reach. Sometimes we’ll need to do this even when they fight hard against it.
We don’t need them to agree with us. We just need to hear their anger or upset when we change what they’ve become used to. ‘I know you don’t want this and I know you’re angry at me for reducing your screen time. And it’s happening. You can be annoyed, and we’re still [putting phones and iPads in the basket from 5pm] (or whatever your new rules are).’♥️](https://www.heysigmund.com/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed-pro/img/placeholder.png)
What if schools could see every ‘difficult’ child as a child who feels unsafe? Everything would change. Everything.♥️
Nov 17
One of my favourite hikes ever. Maria Island - you are stunning!
Nov 13
Consequences are about repair and restoration, and putting things right. ‘You are such a great kid. I know you would never be mean on purpose but here we are. What happened? Can you help me understand? What might you do differently next time you feel like this? How can we put this right? Do you need my help with that?’
Punishment and consequences that don’t make sense teach kids to steer around us, not how to steer themselves. We can’t guide them if they are too scared of the fallout to turn towards us when things get messy.♥️
Oct 22
Anxiety is driven by a lack of certainty about safety. It doesn’t mean they aren’t safe, and it certainly doesn’t mean they aren’t capable. It means they don’t feel safe enough - yet.
The question isn’t, ‘How do we fix them?’ They aren’t broken.
It’s, ‘How do we fix what’s happening around them to help them feel so they can feel safe enough to be brave enough?’
How can we make the environment feel safer? Sensory accommodations? Relational safety?
Or if the environment is as safe as we can make it, how can we show them that we believe so much in their safety and their capability, that they can rest in that certainty?
They can feel anxious, and do brave.
We want them to listen to their anxiety, check things out, but don’t always let their anxiety take the lead.
Sometimes it’s spot on. And sometimes it isn’t. Whole living is about being able to tell the difference.
As long as they are safe, let them know you believe them, and that you believe IN them. ‘I know this feels big and I know you can handle this. We’ll do this together.’♥️
Oct 16
Bex (verified owner) –
Much like Hey Warrior, Ups and Downs expertly conveys some very complex concepts in ways that make sense to little minds. I particularly loved the way she framed “scary dangerous” and “scary safe” – such a nice simple way for children to understand what their mind is doing. On top of all that, the artwork is just beautiful. Overall, another sweet, gentle and informative book that will be used in my therapy space regularly.
Fiona –
As always, Karen provides an excellent way of explaining a complex concept, with beautiful visuals to support.
Judith K (verified owner) –
Karen’s latest offering continues to make understanding children’s emotions really accessible. Ups and Downs uses the analogy of three floors of a house where we all reside at different points. I appreciate how there is no ‘bad’ floor. Each one has things to tell us. The accompanying poster is bright and inviting and I look forward to putting it up in my school counselling space. Another fantastic resource for parents and professionals alike ☺️