Managing Anxiety and Building Resilience in Kids: How Nutrition Can Help

Managing Anxiety and Building Resilience in Kids How Nutrition Can Help

Anxiety used to be seen just as an innate condition of an emotionally fragile child or something triggered by significant life events. But medical science now understands more about the array of underlying physical and chemical imbalances that can trigger excess worry, anxiety and overwhelm.

This post will help you arm yourself with information about some of the life changing links between common nutrient shortfalls and metabolic imbalances, to help your child live a happier, healthier, calmer life whilst also building resilience in the longer term.

Picky Eaters?

If you have a child who is sad, angry or anxious then he or she may also be a picky eater too. If so, this could be a sign of where to focus. It has been well documented that there is a significant relationship between unhealthy dietary patterns and poorer mental health in children and adolescents. So, especially if changes in eating patterns started in the months running up to the mood changes or they have always struggled with eating a healthy diet, then this may well be part of the overall picture.

Sometimes even children with great diets face periods of difficulties with their mental health. This can still sometimes be due to nutritional shortfalls because of specific metabolic needs or due to a compromised ability to digest and extract the optimum nutrition from the food they eat.

For a child (or anyone) to cope with stressful and anxious situations, they need the right store of nutrients to produce the correct balance of neurotransmitters to keep them happy and calm. Ongoing worry and anxiety can in themselves deplete nutritional reserves further, so this is why the right diet and/or food supplement support is crucial.

A Happy Gut A Happy Mind

The scientific and medical communities now understand the importance of our individual gut microbiome and how it can directly change brain activity and behaviour via the microbiota-gut-brain axis (which includes the immune, neuroendocrine, and neural pathways). In turn, this relationship directly influences stress-related and psychiatric issues including anxiety, depression, and OCD.

A very important first step to help your child can be the supplementation of probiotics, particularly if your child has had several courses of antibiotics (recently or in the past), or tummy issues such as gas, constipation, bloating etc.

A healthy, balanced diet full of real food, (fresh natural ingredients), meat and fish, fresh veggies and fruit, healthy fat and minimal refined sugar and processed food will all support a healthy gut.

Does Your Child Have Enough Magnesium?

For centuries, magnesium has been used as a relief for many ailments including mood swings, insecurities, and headaches. Magnesium is crucial for the functioning of the central nervous system and optimisation of your mitochondria (the powerhouse of every cell in our body) and thus essential in the prevention of cell health.

During periods of stress, magnesium is quickly used up by the body, which in turn can create more anxiety, which then has the knock-on effect of again depleting the levels of magnesium through stress.

Historically we all ate a diet that included higher levels of natural magnesium; but modern food production techniques have dramatically reduced the amount of magnesium found in many food, increasing the need for supplementation and possibly increasing anxiety and mental health issues.

A fun and simple way to increase your child’s magnesium levels are adding Epsom salts to the evening bath. Natural food sources of magnesium include nuts, seeds, oily fish, dark leafy greens, bananas, strawberries, buckwheat, cocoa, molasses and natural yoghurt. Magnesium supplements might also be a good option to ensure your child’s stored levels remain consistent, especially if they have a narrow range of foods that they will eat.

High Cortisol

If the body perceives a threat or stressful situation it goes into “fight or flight” mode, and this can create physical sensations, such as, dizziness, a rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing, sweatiness or shaky hands and feet. These are caused by a rush of adrenaline and other stress hormones that prepare the body to make a quick getaway or “flight” from danger.

Cortisol is one of the chemicals produced by our adrenal glands, instantly giving the body the energy to cope with stress or danger. However, if these cortisol levels stay high for a sustained period, i.e. we are constantly in a state of stress, it can lead to various health concerns and in little people and teenagers alike, these can include mental illness, weakened immune system, weight gain, poor sleep, and a restricted production of serotonin (our happy hormone). Often leading to a sense of overwhelm, anxiety, low energy and depression. These symptoms can also create cravings for foods high in sugar and carbs which sadly exacerbate the situation.

The simplest and arguably most effective solutions are changing your child’s diet and exercise. Avoid or cut down on foods with a high sugar content and reduce white carbohydrate intake. Try and ensure a meal isn’t just carbohydrates but includes protein and fat too. Look to increase protein-rich foods and healthy fats. Aim for every meal also have a good source of dietary fibre and fruit & veg. Additional considerations are ensuring your child’s diet is rich in omega-3, zinc and magnesium, introducing liquorice, chamomile and green teas. B vitamins can be helpful too.

Regular movement and exercise are great at reducing cortisol levels and thus relieving stress and anxiety. A good run around the park, kicking a ball, riding a bike or a simple walk in the countryside can make a big difference. Mindfulness and yoga are also great stress reducers for young kids and teenagers.

Lack of B Vitamins & Iron?

B vitamins and iron can play a key role in a supporting your child’s nutrition. Many children are unable to methylate efficiently, which means they can’t break B vitamins down into a usable form for the body and they need specialist methyl forms of these when taking supplements. Low levels of vitamin B12, B6 and folate are associated with some neurological diseases and psychiatric disorders. Often the production of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, noradrenaline and adrenaline are inhibited, which directly impact on your child’s brain’s ability to create a balanced stable mood, sense of well-being and ability to feel happiness.

Blood tests or urine tests can be organised through a highly experienced naturopath or nutritional therapist to establish if your child needs supplementation. Grass-fed red meat, eggs, wholegrains and green leafy vegetables can help in the meantime.

More Omega-3?

Omega-3 essential fatty acids have had more research about mood and brain health than any other nutrient. Oily fish is the best way to get enough omega-3 to feed the brain, which in turn will help to calm anxiety and many other mental health problems.

Signs of an Omega-3 deficiency can include keratosis pilaris, a skin condition in which the top of the arms or even face are dry and rough bumps, often called chicken skin. Dry skin and hair and a thirsty child may also point towards a need for much more omega-3. If your child is allergic to fish or is a “fish-phobe” then other sources of omega-3 include flax seed, chia seed, walnuts, omega-3 rich eggs and organic milk.

Low Vitamin D?

With more children having high levels of screen time, indoors and living in colder climates north of the equator and overuse of sunscreen, most physicians now recognise supplementation of vitamin D as essential for many children.

Even for children living south of the equator, genetic variations called VDR can block the body’s ability to absorb vitamin D; and in this case, vitamin D levels will need ongoing support, sunshine or not.

Cod liver is the best natural form of vitamin D. Rosemary and sage help the body to absorb vitamin D, so use plenty of these herbs in your cooking to optimise your family’s vitamin D levels.

Inflammation

Inflammation within the body has recently been found to be linked to anxiety and depression. Inflammation is caused by the body’s natural defence mechanism to illness and disease as well as being the direct result of some diseases that are by nature inflammatory. To exacerbate the situation, once inflammation is switched on, it becomes self-perpetuating as inflammatory cytokines travel throughout the body causing oxidative stress to the powerhouse cells, the mitochondria. Inflammation markers have been shown to shoot up during depressive episodes and drop off in periods of remission.

Inflammation within the brain creates anxiety-provoking chemicals like quinolinate, in turn creating symptoms called “sickness syndrome” such as lethargy, sleep disturbance, decreased social activity, mobility, libido, learning, anorexia. Researchers have found patients with higher levels of inflammatory markers are more respondent to anti-inflammatory treatments than to antidepressants.

Inflammation within the body can be reduced through regular exercise (interval training has been shown to be particularly helpful), relaxation and meditation and healthy eating – a diet free from refined sugar, grains and carbs and preservatives and high in natural fats can help to dramatically reduce inflammation. The yellow Indian spice turmeric can help significantly with bringing down inflammation so add this to your cooking on a regular basis or add in a specialist turmeric supplement.


About the Author: Lucinda Miller (MGNI MRNI MH)

Lucinda has around 20 years of experience as a naturopath and gained a diploma in Naturopathic Iridology and Western Herbal Medicine (MGNI MRNI MH) from The Holistic Health College. In 2008 she gained a further diploma from Functional Medicine University and is a fully qualified NLP coach and mentor for kids with ADHD and Autism.

She is a full member of the Guild of Naturopathic Iridologists and the British Herbal Medicine Association and the Association of Master Herbalists. 

She is a mother of three children, aged from 8 to 16.

Find out more about Lucinda’s work on her website, naturedoc.co.uk or at The NatureDoc Shop, which stocks a wide selection of world-class child-friendly supplements to support your kids’ health needs and wellbeing. It is the proud UK supplier of Hey Warrior by Karen Young.

8 Comments

propolis 1000

Thanks , I have just been looking for information approximately this subject for ages
and yours is the best I have came upon till
now. But, what about the bottom line? Are you positive concerning the source?

Reply
Shannon

This is interesting in regards to my anxious child. He is a very picky eater and in addition to that has severe food allergies (milk & eggs). He is scared to eat most things that do not come from our own kitchen (and even then he questions if the food is safe). I’m just beginning my reading into helping him cope with anxiety and never thought diet may be a big part of it. Thank you for this insight.

Reply
Sim

This is brilliant.

I was able to completely remove my severe anxiety by including these supplements and reducing inflammation (eating more potassium in fruits and starchy carbs which helped my thyroid, which then helped my estrogen dominance which then stopped my iron loss).

One step can fix so many. Its like a domino affect. I wondered how many people knew of the anxiety and food/nutrients relationship. Looks like the knowledge is in good hands.

Reply
Tracey L Lee

Hello this article is so interesting. I have a child that has always had gut issues and her attitude to life is very negative and she seems to have little joy in her life. What would you suggest for someone like her. My husbands family has a history of depression or more of a serotonin lack as when they go on medication they are different people?

Reply
joelle

you seem to imply parents do not feed their kids properly…. but sometimes it is the kids themselves who refuse all healthy foods and systematically refuse to eat… so what would you recommend then?

Reply
Karen Young

There is nothing here that suggests parents aren’t feeding their children properly. Fussy eating is very common in young ones and generally has nothing at all to do with parents. It’s something many of us parents have wrestled with from time to to time.

The point of the article is that if you can, tweaking diet in certain ways can make a difference to mental health.

Reply

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Remember the power of ‘AND’. 

As long as they are actually safe:

They can feel anxious AND do brave.

They can feel like they aren’t ready for brave, AND be ready brave.

They can wish to avoid AND they can stay (or not be taken home).

They can be angry, anxious, and push us away AND we can look after them through the feelings without avoiding the brave/ new, hard/ important. 

We can wish for their anxiety, anger, sadness to be gone AND we can be with them without needing them to be different.

We can believe them (that they are anxious, scared, angry) AND believe in them (that they are capable).

When we hold their anxiety AND their capacity for brave, in equal measure and with compassion, we can show them that their anxiety doesn’t cancel their brave.♥️
These stickers or temporary tattoos are go anywhere cheerleaders for their brave - because being brave is hard sometimes! Available as packs of 12 individual tattoos or stickers.

Of course, tattoos and stickers are much handier if there is something special to hold them in. Oh, I hear you - and I’ve got you … enter the Hey Warrior tin to store them in (or treasure, or wishes, or snacks, or promises that they’ll clean their room - for especially big negotiations). Because truly - is there even such a thing as too much storage? No. Pffft. Of course not. 

Now, of course, they’re all my favourites for equal amounts of time, but let me tell you about the hug tattoo and the hug sticker ... 

These little stunners are for hugs on demand. If you’ve ever heard me speak about separation anxiety, you’ll know that one way we can ease it is to bring the idea of a child’s loved person closer. But how? Hug tattoos and hug stickers is how!

The idea is to load the hug tattoo or sticker with hugs - as many as they need to last all day, or lots of days, or until breakfast. Whenever they miss you, they can give their tattoo or sticker a squeeze and wrap themselves in one or forty of those hugs you’ve put in there.

They can also put their hugs in a tattoo or a sticker for you (or your phone, your water bottle - you get the idea). Remind them that whenever they think of you during the day, it’s because you’re using one of the hugs they’ve loaded up for you.

The hug tattoos and stickers have been tested and re-tested for ‘volume holdability’, and the conclusion, established through rigorous testing, (because non-rigorous testing would kind of make it a ‘guess’ which would be pointless), is that they can hold heaps of hugs, times a thousand, plus one - because when we’re talking about hugs there’s always room for one more, but I know you know that.

Available separately (12 pack of individual stickers; 12 pack of temporary tattoos; or the Hey Warrior tin) or save 20% with a bundle.♥️

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Validation is a presence, not a speech. 

It doesn’t mean you’re being permissive, or rewarding ‘bad’ behaviour. It doesn’t mean you’re saying the storm is okay. It’s a way of handling the storm and offering a safe passage through it, without judgement, shame, isolation.

Think about the times your big feels have taken over. Has it ever worked ever, in the history of forever, for someone to tell you to calm down, or shut you down, or manage you. Nope. Not for me either.

Because when we’re in big feels, we don’t need to be managed, we need to be seen. We don’t do or say the rubbish things we do  because we don’t know the rules of social engagement, or because we haven’t had enough consequences, or because we think these things are okay. In fact, we’re not thinking at all. We do these things because in that moment, we don’t have the resources to do differently.

Validation is a way of adding resources, through relationship. It’s a strong, loving presence that sends the message, ‘Bring your feelings to me. I can take care of you through this. And I can keep you and everyone including you safe along the way.’

Of course even during a storm we need to hold boundaries to keep everyone safe (them, you, others), but let these be loving - hold the boundary, add warmth. ‘Yes, this is big. I want to hear you. (Relationship) No I won’t listen when you speak like that. When you can speak in a way I can hear, then we can talk (boundary). You’re not in trouble. I’m right here. (Relationship)

The might be a need for repair, learning, or talking about what’s happened, but during the storm isn’t that time.

We can’t reason with someone in big feels because the thinking brain, the part than can think rationally, logically, plan, think through consequences, make deliberate decisions, is locked out for a bit. This happens to all of us. It’s why we all do or say things that aren’t great when we’re in big feelings.

We can’t stop a storm once it’s storming, but we can offer a safe passage through it. This is what validation does. It a safe passage to a place of calm and connection, where you can have the influence and the conversations that will be growthful.♥️
The need for attention is instinctive. 

We all need to be seen because that is how we stay safe. Attention is a need - a physiological, relational, instinctive need.

If attention is something we have to work for, or if it only happens when we’re ‘noticeable’ (as in demanding it, yelling for it, disappearing ourselves) our nervous systems will try to find a way back to safety by making ourselves visible. Brains would always rather be seen in a bad way, than not be seen at all - because being unseen is unsafe. 

This isn’t a ‘kid’ thing. It’s a ‘human’ thing. Attention needing behaviour happens in our adult relationships too. If there isn’t enough play, joy, affection, we start to make ourselves noticeable. This might look like little verbal ‘swipes’, criticism, arguments, snaps. Ugh. We’ve all been there.

The mistake we’ve been making is tangling the need for attention with the need to be the centre of attention.

If a child’s behaviour is inviting (demanding?) attention, it’s because they are needing attention. The need is valid, even if the behaviour is a little (a lot?!) messy. All of us can struggle with niceties when our needs are screaming at us from the inside of us.

Of course you see them, love them, and would do anything for them. This isn’t about that - it’s about them feeling you enjoying them, seeking them out. It’s about them feeling the abundance of you - so much caring there are leftovers that they can tuck away for rainy days. 

Sometimes of course there are just too many rainy days. Even as the most loving, attentive, devoted parents though, we get busy, distracted, stressed. That’s so okay and so normal! But it might mean our kiddos feel start to feel the absence of us a teeny bit. They won’t tell us they miss us. They’ll show us.

Of course we need to hold strong loving boundaries, but what can you add in to let them see that you enjoy them, miss them, like them.

Microconnections matter. Think of the difference it makes to you when someone shows you in teeny ways - a comment, a noticing, a seeking out of you - that they see you, even when they don’t have to. It’s oxygen.♥️
I love being a parent. I love it with every part of my being and more than I ever thought I could love anything. Honestly though, nothing has brought out my insecurities or vulnerabilities as much. This is so normal. Confusing, and normal. 

However many children we have, and whatever age they are, each child and each new stage will bring something new for us to learn. It will always be this way.

Our children will each do life differently, and along the way we will need to adapt and bend ourselves around their path to light their way as best we can. But we won’t do this perfectly, because we can’t always know what mountains they’ll need to climb, or what dragons they’ll need to slay. We won’t always know what they’ll need, and we won’t always be able to give it. We don’t need to. But we’ll want to. Sometimes we’ll ache because of this and we’ll blame ourselves for not being ‘enough’. Sometimes we won’t. This is the vulnerability that comes with parenting. 

We love them so much, and that never changes, but the way we feel about parenting might change a thousand times before breakfast. Parenting is tough. It’s worth every second - every second - but it’s tough.

Great parents can feel everything, and sometimes it can turn from moment to moment - loving, furious, resentful, compassionate, gentle, tough, joyful, selfish, confused and wise - all of it. Great parents can feel all of it.

Because parenting is pure joy, but not always. We are strong, nurturing, selfless, loving, but not always. Parents aren’t perfect. Love isn’t perfect. And it was meant to be. We’re raising humans - real ones, with feelings, who don’t need to be perfect, and wont  need others to be perfect. Humans who can be kind to others, and to themselves first. But they will learn this from us.

Parenting is the role which needs us to be our most human, beautifully imperfect, flawed, vulnerable selves. Let’s not judge ourselves for our shortcomings and the imperfections, and the necessary human-ness of us.❤️

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