Self-Compassion – Let’s Talk About Why You Need This.

Anything that works as hard as the human body, deserves more than a constant critique of how it looks in a pair of skinny jeans. 

It’s highly probably that I’m not the only woman in the world with thighs that look like they’ve been in a hailstorm. Clearly cellulite is as keen on me as I am on oxygen – but anything that runs me around without thanks or hesitation (okay – sometimes there’s a bit of hesitation but you know what I mean) deserves appreciation.

It’s also highly probable that I’m not the only woman for whom the mere thought of double-digit sit-ups makes my abs want to throw themselves into oncoming traffic – but anything that plays such a major part in keeping me alive and healthy deserves high praise.

My arms? They hold those I love close and set the minimum distance for those I’m not keen on. Oh, and they carry, lift, write, cook, touch …

Like all bodies, mine works hard and deserves more than constant criticism about how it looks. So how do we do that?

It’s no secret how important a positive body image is, but a recent study has found that the key to a positive body image may lie in the way we respond to the disappointments and struggles that have nothing to do with physical image.

Research has found that self-compassion in any context, not just in relation to the way we see ourselves physically, lifts body image and protects against eating disorders and unhealthy weight management practices.

Accepting disappointments and struggles as a normal part of life and treating the self kindly during times that seem unrelated to body issues and eating, seems to have an effect on body image.

As researcher Professor Allison Kelly explained, ‘Women may experience a more positive body image and better eating habits if they approach disappointments and distress with kindness and recognition that these struggles are a normal part of life.’

Self-compassion – treating oneself with kindness during disappointments and difficulties – has unique benefits and important benefits.

The research found that regardless of weight and body mass index, women who had more self-compassion were more able to acknowledge and accept their imperfect body. They also had a better body image and were less concerned about weight and body shape and had a better relationship with food.

The biggest threat to self-compassion is comparison.

Only 2% of the world’s population are supermodels. The rest of us make our mark in ways other than how we look in a bikini. Thankfully.

Nobody looks the way magazines would have us believe they do. Nobody. Even the women in the photos don’t look like that.

The human body is extraordinary. It’s time to stop trashing it for the way it looks in skinny jeans and start appreciating the phenomenal things we are capable of because of the body we live in, whatever shape that takes.



Tom Cloyd MS MA

Nicely written, nicely thought out. I enjoyed it and will post a link to it on my G+ community – Trauma and Dissociation Education and Advocacy. Thanks!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Follow Hey Sigmund on Instagram

Honestly isn’t this the way it is for all of us though?♥️

#childanxiety #parenting #separationanxiety
Big feelings can be so beautiful. And so tricky. 

We want our kids to know that all feelings are okay, and we also want to support them to handle those feelings in positive ways. This is going to take time. We were all born with feelings, but none of us were born able to regulate those feelings. That will come with time and lots (lots!) of experience. 

In the meantime, the way we respond to their big feelings and the not-so-adorable behaviour it can drive, can be key in nurturing their social and emotional growth. So let’s talk about how.

Proactive Parents is a community event hosted by @mindfullaus . I’ll be providing parents, caregivers and educators with the skills and tools to better understand big feelings and the behaviour it fuels.

Understanding how to respond when young people are overwhelmed can drive calm and connection over conflict. Ultimately, our responses have enormous potential to build important neural pathways that will strengthen them for life.

This presentation will explore the powerful ways parents and carers can, quite literally, influence the strengthening of the brain in ways that will build self-control, emotional regulation, and resilience in their children for life.♥️

When: Sunday 25 Feb 2024, 10am-2pm
Where: West Gippsland Arts Centre, Vic
Buy Tickets here:
(Or Google: karen young young people and their big feelings west gippsland)
We have to change the way we think about school. When we prioritise academics, it's like building the walls - because that's what we see - before fortifying the foundations.

So many teachers know this, but with the increased focus on reporting and academics, they aren't being given the time and opportunity to build the relationships that will ensure those foundations are strong and steady.

This is why too many kids are falling down at school - not because they aren't capable, but because the necessary foundations for them to do well haven't been laid.

Schools are spending the resources anyway, but reactively on behaviour management, disengagement, reduced capacity to learn.

If we can steer those resources towards building relational safety, so kids feel more seen, valued, cared for, rather than less capable or clever, we'll see a decrease increased academic success, greater engagement, less social struggles, and less behaviour issues. It's just how it is.

First though, we need to value relationships and the way kids feel at school, even more than how they do at school. All kids are capable of their own versions of greatness, but unless they feel safe and cared for at school, we just won't see what they are capable of, and neither will they.❤️
We also need to make sure our teachers feel seen, safe, cared for, valued. Our kids can’t be the best they can be without them.♥️
Separation can be tough! Not just for our kiddos but also for the adults who love them. 

As brutal as separation anxiety can feel, it also comes with transformative opportunities to strengthen your child and build their brave in ways that will serve them now and for the rest of their lives. 

Of course we’d rather our young ones (or ourselves) never feel the tailwhip of separation anxiety, but so many young people are going to experience anxiety at separation from a loved one. It’s part of being human, but it doesn’t have to hurt. 

As their important adult, you have a profound capacity to support them through separation anxiety and help them feel braver, stronger, and closer to you, even when you’re not beside them. Let’s talk about how.

This is information I wish every parent could have.

We want our children to feel loved and supported, but we also want to build their brave so anxiety doesn’t stand in the way of the important, growthful things they need to do.

In this 1.5 hour webinar, I’ll be presenting practical, powerful ways to build bravery when separation feels tough - at school, at bedtime, at drop-off - any time being away from you feels tough.

A recording of the webinar will be available to all registered participants for 30 days following the ‘live’ online event.

To register or find out more, google ‘hey sigmund webinar separation anxiety’ or see here ♥️

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This