Where the Science of Psychology Meets the Art of Being Human

Welcome to The Sunroom

The Sunroom (For You)

The Sun Room celebrates the many different versions of human and as we do that, nothing is off limits. Anything you’ve wondered, noticed or wanted to understand – we’ll deal with it. If there isn’t the answer to your question, let me know. As part of the member’s home, I will be answering real questions, from real people. Ask me anything. Anything! We won’t give any names – none. If we needed the world to know your name, we’d at least write it on a coffee cup with something smooth and delicious inside. 


Being Human
The ups and downs of everyday life.

 

A Beautiful Mind
Strengthening mind, body, and spirit.

 

Anxiety
Proven strategies for calmer, braver living.

 

Depression
Strengthening against, and healing from depression.

 

With Kids
Raising children who are happy, emotionally healthy, strong, confident, and brave.

 

With Teens
Understanding your adolescent, strengthening your connection, helping them thrive.

 

With Others
Being with friends, family, intimate others. Building intimacy and connection. When relationships break.

 

Difficult Relationships
Dealing with difficult relationships – work, family, exes, frenemies, toxic people, relationships you can’t walk away from – but wish you could.

  
The Sunroom - Real Questions Answered

Real Questions Answered
Ask me anything. Real questions from real people.


 

















Hey Warrior - A book about anxiety in children.








Hey Sigmund on Instagram

Anxiety comes with a story, ‘I feel as though so Anxiety comes with a story, ‘I feel as though something bad is going to happen so something bad must be going to happen.’ This story makes sense, but it will drive fight or flight behaviour that can hold them back. This might look like avoidance, aggression, resistance, refusal, sick tummies, headaches, tears, tantrums.
.
When we change the story, we change the response. To do this, we need to present anxiety as an ally that ‘works hard to keep you safe, but sometimes it just works a little too hard.’ .

Here’s how it works: When the amygdala senses something that might be a threat, it surges us with a powerful neurochemical cocktail to make us more powerful, stronger, faster, more alert, more able to fight or flee the threat. This drives every physical symptom that comes with anxiety. It’s the brain and body doing exactly what they are meant to do, but at a time they don’t need to. .

Not everything the brain senses as a threat is actually a threat. Brains are smart, but they can be a little overprotective sometimes. Brains will do anything to keep us alive - it’s why we love them so much - but sometimes they will work too hard.
.
The problem is that the physiology is so persuasive. It feels like we’re in danger, which can make even the strongest of minds believe it to be true. The key is to help them see anxiety for what it is - a warning, not a stop sign. .
⠀⠀
We can strengthen them by nurturing a felt sense inside them that lets them feel bigger in the presence of anxiety - because they can feel anxious and do brave. We do this by presenting anxiety as something that is there to look after them, and something they can manage.
⠀⠀
Anxiety is there to hold them back from danger but it was never meant to hold them back. We know they are capable of big things, every one of them. Now to shift anxiety out of their way so they can know it too.

Anxiety comes with a story, ‘I feel as though something bad is going to happen so something bad must be going to happen.’ This story makes sense, but it will drive fight or flight behaviour that can hold them back. This might look like avoidance, aggression, resistance, refusal, sick tummies, headaches, tears, tantrums.
.
When we change the story, we change the response. To do this, we need to present anxiety as an ally that ‘works hard to keep you safe, but sometimes it just works a little too hard.’ .

Here’s how it works: When the amygdala senses something that might be a threat, it surges us with a powerful neurochemical cocktail to make us more powerful, stronger, faster, more alert, more able to fight or flee the threat. This drives every physical symptom that comes with anxiety. It’s the brain and body doing exactly what they are meant to do, but at a time they don’t need to. .

Not everything the brain senses as a threat is actually a threat. Brains are smart, but they can be a little overprotective sometimes. Brains will do anything to keep us alive - it’s why we love them so much - but sometimes they will work too hard.
.
The problem is that the physiology is so persuasive. It feels like we’re in danger, which can make even the strongest of minds believe it to be true. The key is to help them see anxiety for what it is - a warning, not a stop sign. .
⠀⠀
We can strengthen them by nurturing a felt sense inside them that lets them feel bigger in the presence of anxiety - because they can feel anxious and do brave. We do this by presenting anxiety as something that is there to look after them, and something they can manage.
⠀⠀
Anxiety is there to hold them back from danger but it was never meant to hold them back. We know they are capable of big things, every one of them. Now to shift anxiety out of their way so they can know it too.
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