Where the Science of Psychology Meets the Art of Being Human

Posts Tagged: adolescents

How to Talk to Children About Racism, Prejudice, and Protests
4th June, 2020

How to Talk to Children About Racism, Prejudice, and Protests – An Age-by-Age Guide

The world has again been shaken by trauma. Many children will be distressed and confused by what they are seeing, hearing, or experiencing. Our children will be an important part of the healing moving forward but first, we have to bring a sense of safety to their world. The conversations we have with them now are as important for that, as they are for helping them grow into the adults the world is yearning for.

Anxiety During Adolescence - Why Anxiety Can Amplify During Adolescence, and What Parents Can Do
19th February, 2019

Anxiety in Teens: Why Anxiety Might Increase During Adolescence, and What Parents Can Do

During adolescence, the brain goes through a massive and magnificent redesign. This is to give children the neural firepower to make the transition from dependent little people to independent, productive, happy adults. It’s an exciting time, but it doesn’t always feel this way. Adolescence can be punctuated by entirely wonderful highs that come bundled in new discoveries and flourishing independence, as well as gut-wrenching lows. 

14th June, 2017

With Kids

With Kids

 

The House Model – A Metaphor

A new way to think about anxiety, connection, self-regulation and relationships. 

 

 

 

How to Strengthen the Neural Foundations for LearningHow to Strengthen the Neural Foundations for Learning

The way to the learning brain isn’t always through the learning brain. How to create the optimal neural conditions for your child to learn.

 

 

Facebook LiveFacebook Live

We covered a lot of ground in this Facebook Live, including anxiety in kids, big feelings, sleep, tantrums, mindfulness, sibling fights … and more.  

 

 

 

Hand on Heart - A Powerful Way for Kids, Teens and Adults to Calm AnxietyHand on Heart

A powerful way for kids, teens and adults to calm anxiety.  

 

 

 

How to Help Kids & Teens Feel Calm When the World Feels Fragile

The conversations that can help your children and teens feel calmer, safer and braver during world trauma or a global crisis. 

 

 

A Proven Way to Propel Kids Forward

How to explain a growth mindset to children a way that will engage them, spark their curiosity, and nurture their growth.

 

 

Building Emotional IQ in Children with Emotion Bridging

Emotional IQ is vital to success and happiness. Emotion bridging is a powerful way to do this.

 

 

When Kids or Teens Fail, Fall or Stumble

Our response to failure or mistakes can build them or break them. Here’s how to do it in a way that helps them flourish. 

 

 

Building Creativity in Kids

As access to information has become easier, creativity – how information is used – has become the game-changer. Here’s how to nurture it in your kiddos.

 

 

The Remarkable Power of Play

Play is vital to the development of healthy, happy, thriving children. Here’s what all parents need to know.

 

 

Clinginess – How to Make it Work for Them (and You)

Understand why clinginess happens, and how to stop it from holding your child back. 

 

 

Stepping Back – A Technique to Build Emotional Intelligence

A simple, effective technique to build empathy in kids and teens, and to help them understand and manage big emotions.

 

 

A Proven Way to Deal With Maths Anxiety

Even if children are fully prepared and ready to shine in a maths exam, anxiety can lumber in and make a beast of itself – as only anxiety can do. New research has found a way to ease anxiety and improve performance, by changing the fear centres of the brain. 

 

 

Life as a Stepfamily – What You Need to Know to Make it Work

This simple but powerful step can make a difference to your stepfamily. https://wp.me/p5hkQx-i82

 

 

How to Help Kids & Teens Feel Calm When the World Feels Fragile

The conversations that can help your children and teens feel calmer, safer and braver during world trauma or a global crisis. 

 

 

The C Word
17th March, 2017

The C Word (by Allison Goldberg)

When most people hear the “C word” they think of the horrific illness, Cancer. However, for those who are seniors in high school or parents, friends, relatives and teachers, it means something much different. It means COLLEGE.

How to Influence Behaviour With Kids and Teens Using Emotional Connection
3rd February, 2017

How to To Build Influence With Kids and Teens Through Emotional Connection

Limit-setting can be a tiresome, thankless task, and the perfect kindling for fiery exchanges between kids and the adults who love them, but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen our connection with them as we nurture their growth. One of our most important tasks is to teach the children in our lives how to be in the world in a way that is life-giving, empowered, whole-hearted and healthy. To do this, we need influence.

















Hey Warrior - A book about anxiety in children.








Hey Sigmund on Instagram

There is absolutely nothing that feels okay about There is absolutely nothing that feels okay about moving our children towards something that fuels their anxiety and distress. The drive to scoop them up and lift them over that ‘something’ can feel monumental, because as parents we are wired to protect our children from distress. This is related to attachment, and it’s is one of the strongest instincts known to us humans. .
♥️
But sometimes we will need to be brave enough for them, and remove avoidance as an option. This might feel awful but it’s important. The brain learns from experience so the more they avoid the more they will be driven to avoid, but the more they are brave the more they will be brave. It’s okay if this happens in little steps, as long as the steps are forward. .
♥️
When we take avoidance off the table, things might get worse before they get better. When something that has always worked stops working, we’ll do that thing more before we try something different. We all do this. If avoidance has worked as a way to bring calm, the amygdala (the part of the brain in charge of anxiety) will be rock solid in the belief that this is the only way to feel safe. .
♥️
When we stop supporting avoidance, the amygdala will often recruit other emotions (anger, distress) to make us (the recruited support) bring back avoidance as an option. This is not bad behaviour or manipulative behaviour. It is absolutely 100% NOT that. It’s the brain making way for the only way it knows to feels safe and calm - avoidance. .
♥️
There is no doubt you love your kiddos and would do anything to support them. But anxiety has a way of messing with this. When anxiety drives avoidance, it can feel as though we’re supporting our kids but we’re actually supporting anxiety. .
♥️
When we lift them over the things that make them anxious, but which are safe (and often life-giving), we are inadvertently aligning ourselves with anxiety and its message that they aren’t brave enough, or that the only way to be safe is to avoid the things that make them anxious. But we know this isn’t true. We know they are capable of greatness, and that greatness is often made of tiny brave steps.♥️
.

There is absolutely nothing that feels okay about moving our children towards something that fuels their anxiety and distress. The drive to scoop them up and lift them over that ‘something’ can feel monumental, because as parents we are wired to protect our children from distress. This is related to attachment, and it’s is one of the strongest instincts known to us humans. .
♥️
But sometimes we will need to be brave enough for them, and remove avoidance as an option. This might feel awful but it’s important. The brain learns from experience so the more they avoid the more they will be driven to avoid, but the more they are brave the more they will be brave. It’s okay if this happens in little steps, as long as the steps are forward. .
♥️
When we take avoidance off the table, things might get worse before they get better. When something that has always worked stops working, we’ll do that thing more before we try something different. We all do this. If avoidance has worked as a way to bring calm, the amygdala (the part of the brain in charge of anxiety) will be rock solid in the belief that this is the only way to feel safe. .
♥️
When we stop supporting avoidance, the amygdala will often recruit other emotions (anger, distress) to make us (the recruited support) bring back avoidance as an option. This is not bad behaviour or manipulative behaviour. It is absolutely 100% NOT that. It’s the brain making way for the only way it knows to feels safe and calm - avoidance. .
♥️
There is no doubt you love your kiddos and would do anything to support them. But anxiety has a way of messing with this. When anxiety drives avoidance, it can feel as though we’re supporting our kids but we’re actually supporting anxiety. .
♥️
When we lift them over the things that make them anxious, but which are safe (and often life-giving), we are inadvertently aligning ourselves with anxiety and its message that they aren’t brave enough, or that the only way to be safe is to avoid the things that make them anxious. But we know this isn’t true. We know they are capable of greatness, and that greatness is often made of tiny brave steps.♥️
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