The Easy Way to Help Your Baby Learn

Every wondered what babies remember?

A recent study has discovered a something simple and practical that will supercharge a baby’s memory.

Babies are super sensitive to the emotions of people and animals – but we already knew that. What we didn’t know until a recent study, is that babies will remember things that are paired with happy emotions.


The Research – What They Did

 5-month-old babies were exposed to a voice that was either happy, neutral or angry, together with a geometric shape.

Five minutes later and again one day later, the babies were shown two shapes side by side – one was a novel shape previously unseen by the babies and one was a shape they had already seen in the original testing session.

Obviously babies can’t talk but researchers were able to identify what they find familiar by paying attention to their eye gaze, specifically by noting the time the babies spent looking at each image and how many times the babies looked from one image to another.

What They Found

 The babies remembered the shapes that were paired with a happy voice. In comparison, they didn’t seem to remember the shapes that were accompanied by neutral or negative voices.


The results demonstrated that babies’ memories are influenced by the emotions present at the time of storing the memory.

As explained by lead author and psychology professor Ross Flom, ‘We think what happens is that the positive affect heightens the babies attentions system and arousal. By heightening those systems, we heighten their ability to process and perhaps remember …’

The take-away from this study is the importance of emotion for establishing memories for babies. The important take-away here is that anything that can be done to create happy, positive feelings around will help facilitate a baby’s memory and learning.

(P.S. I wonder if there’s something in that for teenagers. Maybe that’s why, for love or money I cannot get a tidy teenage bedroom around here – because by the time I’m ‘mentioning’ it, the happy feelings that are usually abundant, have left the building so quickly that they’re in another time zone with their feet up sipping on mojitos by the time I get to ‘please’ (said in caps lock with several exclamation marks). Actually in the spirit of honesty, ‘please’ generally isn’t the word I finish on … Actually no. No I don’t think that’s it.)

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It is this way for all of us, and none of this is about perfection. 

Sometimes there will be disconnect, collisions, discomfort. Sometimes we won’t be completely emotionally available. 

What’s important is that they feel they can connect with us enough. 

If we can’t move to the connection they want in the moment, name the missing or the disconnect to help them feel less alone in it:

- ‘I missed you today.’ 
- ‘This is a busy week isn’t it. I wish I could have more time with you. Let’s go to the park or watch a movie together on Sunday.’
- ‘I know you’re annoyed with me right now. I’m right here when you’re ready to talk. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.’
- ‘I can see you need space. I’ll check in on you in a few minutes.’

Remember that micro-connections matter - the incidental chats, noticing them when they are unnoticeable, the smiles, the hugs, the shared moments of joy. They all matter, not just for your little people but for your big ones too.♥️
Too many students are being stifled by anxiety, and this number is on the rise.

Far from being ‘another anxiety workshop’, this comprehensive approach will draw on neuroscience, evidence-based strategies, and highly respected therapeutic models in developing a fresh, impactful approach to working with anxiety in young people.

We will explore anxiety from the ground up, developing a ‘roadmap’ for a therapeutic response to anxiety that will include key information, powerful strategies, and new responses to anxiety to effect immediate and long-term change.

This workshop is for anyone who works with young people in any capacity. 

Includes full catering, handbook and PD certificate.

For the full range of workshops in Australia and New Zealand, see the link in the bio.♥️
Relationship first, then learning and behaviour will follow. It can’t be any other way. 

Anxious brains can’t learn, and brains that don’t feel safe will organise young bodies (all bodies) for fight, flight (avoidance, refusal, disengagement, perfectionism), or shutdown. 

Without connection, warmth, a sense of belonging, feeling welcome, moments of joy, play, and levity, relational safety will be compromised, which will compromise learning and behaviour. It’s just how it is. Decades of research and experience are shouting this at us. 

Yet, we are asking more and more of our teachers. The more procedural or curriculum demands we place on teachers, the more we steal the time they need to build relationships - the most powerful tool of their trade. 

There is no procedure or reporting that can take the place of relationship in terms of ensuring a child’s capacity to learn and be calm. 

There are two spaces that teachers occupy. Sometimes they can happen together. Sometimes one has to happen first. 

The first is the space that lets them build relationship. The second is the space that lets them teach kids and manage a classroom. The second will happen best when there is an opportunity to fully attend to the first. 

There is an opportunity cost to everything. It isn’t about relationships OR learning. It’s relationships AND learning. Sometimes it’s relationships THEN learning. 

The best way we can support kids to learn and to feel calm, is to support teachers with the space, time, and support to build relationships. 

The great teachers already know this. What’s getting in the way isn’t their capacity or their will to build relationships, but the increasing demands that insist they shift more attention to grades, curriculum, reporting, and ‘managing’ behaviour without the available resources to build greater physical (sensory, movement) and relational safety (connection, play, joy, belonging).

Relationships first, then the rest will follow.♥️

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