Healing From Depression. The 6 Proven, Non-Medication Ways To Strengthen the Brain and Body Against Depression (We Should All Be Doing This!)

Depression steals people. So far, despite the colossal investment of resources, there is still no reliably effective treatment. What we know for sure is that antidepressants just aren’t working. According to Dr Stephen Ilardi, respected psychologist, university professor and author of ‘The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs’, antidepressants only have about a 50% success rate. Out of the people who do find relief, half of them will relapse, taking the actual recovery rate to 25%. Then there are the side effects, such as emotional blunting, weight gain and sexual dysfunction.

When antidepressants fail to deliver, the hopelessness that lies at the heart of depression becomes even more brutal. If we could immunise ourselves and the people we love against depression, we’d be lining up. There is no immunisation, but a growing body of research is finding that there are ways to protect ourselves from depression and alleviate any existing symptoms, particularly for mild to moderate depression.

It’s about certain lifestyle factors – six of them – and the difference they can make to each of us, depressed or otherwise, is phenomenal. The claims may sound extravagant, but science is proving them over and over. The evidence is too compelling for us not to take notice. 

The Depression Epidemic: Our Stone Age Brains

There is an undeniable connection between lifestyle and depression. A modern lifestyle is making us sick. The more modern a society, and the more removed it is from the primitive hunter-gatherer way of life, the higher its rate of depression. Our world has changed phenomenally and our lifestyles have changed along with it, but our brains have hardly changed at all. They remain remarkably similar to the ones that powered people in the Stone Age when sleep was abundant, food was nutritious, and people wandered in groups, constantly on the move in the sunshine.

Our Stone Age brains just weren’t designed to handle the sedentary, isolated, indoor, sleep-deprived, fast-food-laden, stressed-out pace of twenty-first-century life.-Dr Stephen Ilardi

Our brains are beautifully crafted to support Stone Age bodies that live Stone Age lives. When Stone Age brains are forced to live a modern lifestyle, the effect can be devastating. The brain and the body become depleted of the very things that have been fuelling them for thousands of years before now.

In the parts of the world where hunter-gatherer tribes lead similar lives to their Stone Age ancestors, their levels of depression are almost zero. They get plenty of sleep, physical activity and sunlight. They have plenty of distractions to keep them from being trapped in their heads by endless negative thoughts, they have a diet that is rich in omega-3, and their social connectivity is vast. According to Ilardi, these have a much more powerful effect on the brain than any medication.

How Can We Keep Our Stone Age Brain Happy?

Brains can change, and we have the capacity to change them. The key is finding the most effective ways to do that. Enter neuroscience. The chemistry of our brain is very responsive to what we do – for better or worse. Depending on the choices we make, we can deplete it or enrich it.

In preliminary clinical trials comparing the effect of lifestyle changes against antidepressants, researchers found that lifestyle choices brought about a reduction in depressive symptoms almost three times that experienced by the antidepressant group. There are six primary lifestyle factors that have been proven to protect the brain against depression and reduce depressive symptoms and Ilardi details them in his book, The Depression Cure. Interestingly, these lifestyle factors are remarkably close to the way we would have been doing things had we been living in the Stone Age.

  1. What we eat. Let it be plenty of omega-3.

    Omega-3 fatty acids are vital for the construction of brain cells and the insulation of nerve fibers. Many of the fat molecules needed by the brain are made by the body, but there are some that can only be drawn from our diet. Some of the best sources are fish (such as salmon), wild game, grass-fed beef, nuts, seeds, and leafy vegetables. It’s no co-incidence then, that Stone Age people consumed five to ten times more omega-3 fat than we do. It’s also no co-incidence that the lowest rates of depression are found in countries with the highest levels of omega-3 in their diets. Plenty of research has confirmed a link between omega-3 and depression – people with depression have lower levels of omega-3 and consuming omega-3 reduces the symptoms of depression.

    Omega-3 does beautiful things to the brain – we know that – but there is something we are eating more and more of, that is hurting it – sugar. (I know. That sort of ruined my day too.) Sugar is so addictive – it lights up the brains reward circuitry in a similar way to cocaine. The problem is that it activates the release of powerful inflammatory hormones that causes all sorts of trouble in the brain. Sugar also suppresses the activity of BDNF, a growth hormone that is vital for the health and happy firing of neurons in the brain. People with depression have critically low levels of BDNF.

     What to do:
    The greatest benefit is to be found in omega-3 rich in eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), specifically omega-3 comprised of at least 60% EPA. This type of omega-3 is found in fish and shellfish. Ilardi suggests 1500mg of omega-3 daily (in the form of fish oil capsules), with a multivitamin and an antioxidant, such as 500mg vitamin C. Check with a pharmacist or doctor if you have any doubts or questions.

  2. What we think about.

    Thoughts influence the brain. A proven risk factor for depression is rumination – dwelling on negative thoughts over and over. Rumination causes physical changes in the brain. When we keep circling around negative thoughts, the brain’s stress circuitry steps up. Cortisol (the stress hormone) attacks the neurons in the hippocampus, which is where memories and emotions are dealt with. People with depression have been shown to have a smaller hippocampus, one of the effects of ruminative stress on the brain.

    What to do:
    The greatest risk factor for rumination is spending time alone. Being with people or doing an activity are powerful ways to break up a negative thought cycle. Depression is exhausting though, and sometimes being with people will be the last thing a depressed person feels like. Just know that it makes a difference – a big one. If depression has you in its clutches, it’s likely that you will have trouble finding the joy in anything. If that’s the case, think about what you used to enjoy and force yourself to do it. Think of it like medicine or brushing your teeth – it’s just something you have to do. It will be worth it. Interrupting rumination by ‘doing’ is called behavioural activation. It has been proven to be as effective as antidepressants and more effective than cognitive therapy in alleviating the symptoms of depression. Its healing power doesn’t end there. Behavioural activation has been shown to prevent relapse over a two year period as effectively as antidepressants or cognitive therapy.

  3. People time. Spend it with the ones who matter.

    According to Ilardi, when someone is depressed the brain mistakenly interprets that pain as an infection. It then tries to protect the person by sending a message for them to isolate themselves until the pain goes away. The effects of this can be catastrophic because isolation encourages toxic rumination. Human contact is powerful. It can ease the symptoms of depression, and protect against them.  

    What to do. 
    Spend regular time with people who care about you. If your tribe is looking a bit sparse, force yourself to join a group – anything where there are people – a book club, an art group, an exercise group, a drama group … anything. You might not feel like it but it will make a difference. People were meant to be with people. Just make sure they are people who deserve you.

  4. What we do. Exercise.

    Exercise changes the brain and is one of the most under-utilised anti-depressants. Our brains were never meant for sedentary lifestyles. Whenever we are active, key neurochemicals (including serotonin, the neurochemical targeted by antidepressants) set to work throughout the brain, elevating mood, motivation and energy levels. Exercise also elevates the brain’s production of BDNF, the key growth hormone we talked about earlier. During depression levels of BDNF plummet and cause the brain to shrink over time, making learning and memory more difficult. Exercise reverses this. Research that compared the effect of a popular anti-depressant (Zoloft) with the effect of exercise on depression found that 30 minutes of brisk walking 3 times per week was every bit as effective as the medication. Exercise also seemed to have a protective function that the antidepressants seemed to lack. Twelve months after the study, the participants who kept exercising were more likely to have kept their depression at bay. Medication didn’t seem to show this effect. 

    Exercise is medicine … It enhances brain function as powerfully as any medication.Dr Stephen Ilardi

    What to do.
    Try for at least 30 minutes of brisk exercise three times a week, but of course, if you can do more, go for it. Anything that gets your heart beating is perfect – a hurried walk, running, dancing, bike-riding, swimming – anything. It doesn’t have to be graceful or strong or beautiful to watch – it just has to be active.

  5. Get plenty of safe sunlight

    Sunlight sets off an avalanche of activity in our brain. It does this through receptors in the retina that are connected to the circuitry deep inside the brain that takes care of our body-clock. These are circuits that look after sleep, appetite and arousal. For millions of people, when the days become short the lack of sunlight unleashes chaos in our sunlight-loving brains. This can cause seasonal affective disorder (‘SAD’) which is debilitating and painful, and remarkably, up to 30% of us can show symptoms. SAD can happen to anyone who is chronically deprived of sunlight, because of the impact on serotonin. The power of sunlight isn’t only protective. It also has a remarkable capacity to heal the symptoms of depression. Research has found that light therapy is an effective, stand-alone treatment for depression, having an effect similar to most antidepressant medications.

    What to do.

    Try for 15-30 minutes of safe sunlight each morning. If it’s not easy to get some rays, try a lightbox, which is able to simulate the effect of sunlight on the brain and create the same protection against depression.

  6. Pillow time. Blissful, restful abundant pillow time.

    Yes. I know you know this one, but despite knowing how important sleep is, so many of us remain chronically sleep-starved. We need at least eight hours – as eight hours every single day. Sleep is like a superpower. It really is that good and that important to mood and mental health.

    Disrupted sleep is one of the most potent triggers of depression, and there’s evidence that most episodes of mood disorder are preceded by at least several weeks of sub-par slumber. -Dr Stephen Ilardi

What to do.
Aim for at least eight hours every night. Set your bedroom up so it’s conducive to restful sleep. Make sure it’s dark, minimise the light from appliances and iThings as much as you can. If you struggle to fall asleep, try a warm shower before bed and spray lavender into the room before you settle. 

But remember …

If you are already on medication, it is critical that you don’t stop it suddenly. Coming off anti-depressants should always be done in close consultation with a doctor to avoid withdrawal symptoms (such as a worsening of depression) that can happen when medication is stopped too quickly. Sometimes, particularly for more severe depression, medication is important to bring relief to symptoms but again, they won’t work for everyone. When medication does bring relief, using the lifestyle factors in conjunction with medication is a way to potentially strengthen mental and physical health even further.

Depression doesn’t always happen in isolation and can sometimes be triggered by medical conditions such as diabetes, sleep apnea, thyroid disorder, heart disease, chronic infection and hormonal imbalance – to name a few. In these cases, it will be hard to shift the depression until the underlying medical issues are dealt with.

Depression can also come about in response to other medication, but your doctor will be able to support you on this.

And finally ….

The six lifestyle choices are something that will make a difference for all of us, not just those with depression. We were born to thrive and for that, we need to take our cue from our Stone Age relatives. They were the pioneers of the human brain and their lifestyle was perfect for making it thrive. Our circumstances have changed – a lot. We no longer need to wander the sunny plains in search of food, and we don’t snuggle up with a tribe of relatives in front of a campfire every night, but our brains have stayed remarkably unchanged.

The human brain still craves the things that were ‘everyday’ in the Stone Age. We don’t want to go back to scouring the land for food, fighting wild animals and living with a tribe of relatives, and we don’t have to. Careful and consistent research has isolated the parts we need to keep, and the parts we can leave thousands of years behind us. If we tweak the way we live, we will see a profound difference – on our quality of life, our mood, our physical and mental health, our relationships and our lives. 

50 Comments

Brendan

This is a good, high quality, informative article. It goes beyond purely medicalizing depression and addresses the fact that our lives are far different from what we are biologically accustomed to and that there are some parts of our lives that we may need to give more attention. Thank you!

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Jason Jones

I liked the post you have shared. The post nicely deals to the various models, side effects, root causes of depression and anxiety and also describe how one can tackle this awful disease. Thanks for sharing this kind of useful article.

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Anxiety is a sign that the brain has registered threat and is mobilising the body to get to safety. One of the ways it does this is by organising the body for movement - to fight the danger or flee the danger. 

If there is no need or no opportunity for movement, that fight or flight fuel will still be looking for expression. This can come out as wriggly, fidgety, hyperactive behaviour. This is why any of us might pace or struggle to sit still when we’re anxious. 

If kids or teens are bouncing around, wriggling in their chairs, or having trouble sitting still, it could be anxiety. Remember with anxiety, it’s not about what is actually safe but about what the brain perceives. New or challenging work, doing something unfamiliar, too much going on, a tired or hungry body, anything that comes with any chance of judgement, failure, humiliation can all throw the brain into fight or flight.

When this happens, the body might feel busy, activated, restless. This in itself can drive even more anxiety in kids or teens. Any of us can struggle when we don’t feel comfortable in our own bodies. 

Anxiety is energy with nowhere to go. To move through anxiety, give the energy somewhere to go - a fast walk, a run, a whole-body shake, hula hooping, kicking a ball - any movement that spends the energy will help bring the brain and body back to calm.♥️
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#parenting #anxietyinkids #childanxiety #parenting #parent
This is not bad behaviour. It’s big behaviour a from a brain that has registered threat and is working hard to feel safe again. 

‘Threat’ isn’t about what is actually safe or not, but about what the brain perceives. The brain can perceive threat when there is any chance missing out on or messing up something important, anything that feels unfamiliar, hard, or challenging, feeling misunderstood, thinking you might be angry or disappointed with them, being separated from you, being hungry or tired, anything that pushes against their sensory needs - so many things. 

During anxiety, the amygdala in the brain is switched to high volume, so other big feelings will be too. This might look like tears, sadness, or anger. 

Big feelings have a good reason for being there. The amygdala has the very important job of keeping us safe, and it does this beautifully, but not always with grace. One of the ways the amygdala keeps us safe is by calling on big feelings to recruit social support. When big feelings happen, people notice. They might not always notice the way we want to be noticed, but we are noticed. This increases our chances of safety. 

Of course, kids and teens still need our guidance and leadership and the conversations that grow them, but not during the emotional storm. They just won’t hear you anyway because their brain is too busy trying to get back to safety. In that moment, they don’t want to be fixed or ‘grown’. They want to feel seen, safe and heard. 

During the storm, preserve your connection with them as much as you can. You might not always be able to do this, and that’s okay. None of this is about perfection. If you have a rupture, repair it as soon as you can. Then, when their brains and bodies come back to calm, this is the time for the conversations that will grow them. 

Rather than, ‘What consequences do they need to do better?’, shift to, ‘What support do they need to do better?’ The greatest support will come from you in a way they can receive: ‘What happened?’ ‘What can you do differently next time?’ ‘You’re the most wonderful kid and I know you didn’t want this to happen. How can you put things right? Do you need my help with that?’♥️
Big behaviour is a sign of a nervous system in distress. Before anything, that vulnerable nervous system needs to be brought back home to felt safety. 

This will happen most powerfully with relationship and connection. Breathe and be with. Let them know you get it. This can happen with words or nonverbals. It’s about feeling what they feel, but staying regulated.

If they want space, give them space but stay in emotional proximity, ‘Ok I’m just going to stay over here. I’m right here if you need.’

If they’re using spicy words to make sure there is no confusion about how they feel about you right now, flag the behaviour, then make your intent clear, ‘I know how upset you are and I want to understand more about what’s happening for you. I’m not going to do this while you’re speaking to me like this. You can still be mad, but you need to be respectful. I’m here for you.’

Think of how you would respond if a friend was telling you about something that upset her. You wouldn’t tell her to calm down, or try to fix her (she’s not broken), or talk to her about her behaviour. You would just be there. You would ‘drop an anchor’ and steady those rough seas around her until she feels okay enough again. Along the way you would be doing things that let her know your intent to support her. You’d do this with you facial expressions, your voice, your body, your posture. You’d feel her feels, and she’d feel you ‘getting her’. It’s about letting her know that you understand what she’s feeling, even if you don’t understand why (or agree with why). 

It’s the same for our children. As their important big people, they also need leadership. The time for this is after the storm has passed, when their brains and bodies feel safe and calm. Because of your relationship, connection and their felt sense of safety, you will have access to their ‘thinking brain’. This is the time for those meaningful conversations: 
- ‘What happened?’
- ‘What did I do that helped/ didn’t help?’
- ‘What can you do differently next time?’
- ‘You’re a great kid and I know you didn’t want this to happen, but here we are. What can you do to put things right? Do you need my help with that?’♥️
As children grow, and especially by adolescence, we have the illusion of control but whether or not we have any real influence will be up to them. The temptation to control our children will always come from a place of love. Fear will likely have a heavy hand in there too. When they fall, we’ll feel it. Sometimes it will feel like an ache in our core. Sometimes it will feel like failure or guilt, or anger. We might wish we could have stopped them, pushed a little harder, warned a little bigger, stood a little closer. We’re parents and we’re human and it’s what this parenting thing does. It makes fear and anxiety billow around us like lost smoke, too easily.

Remember, they want you to be proud of them, and they want to do the right thing. When they feel your curiosity over judgement, and the safety of you over shame, it will be easier for them to open up to you. Nobody will guide them better than you because nobody will care more about where they land. They know this, but the magic happens when they also know that you are safe and that you will hold them, their needs, their opinions and feelings with strong, gentle, loving hands, no matter what.♥️
Anger is the ‘fight’ part of the fight or flight response. It has important work to do. Anger never exists on its own. It exists to hold other more vulnerable emotions in a way that feels safer. It’s sometimes feels easier, safer, more acceptable, stronger to feel the ‘big’ that comes with anger, than the vulnerability that comes with anxiety, sadness, loneliness. This isn’t deliberate. It’s just another way our bodies and brains try to keep us safe. 

The problem isn’t the anger. The problem is the behaviour that can come with the anger. Let there be no limits on thoughts and feelings, only behaviour. When children are angry, as long as they are safe and others are safe, we don’t need to fix their anger. They aren’t broken. Instead, drop the anchor: as much as you can - and this won’t always be easy - be a calm, steadying, loving presence to help bring their nervous systems back home to calm. 

Then, when they are truly calm, and with love and leadership, have the conversations that will grow them - 
- What happened? 
- What can you do differently next time?
- You’re a really great kid. I know you didn’t want this to happen but here we are. How can you make things right. Would you like some ideas? Do you need some help with that?
- What did I do that helped? What did I do that didn’t help? Is there something that might feel more helpful next time?

When their behaviour falls short of ‘adorable’, rather than asking ‘What consequences they need to do better?’ let the question be, ‘What support do they need to do better.’ Often, the biggest support will be a conversation with you, and that will be enough.♥️
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#parenting #positiveparenting #mindfulparenting #anxietyinkids

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