How to Stay Motivated and Accomplish Your Goals

How to Stay Motivated and Accomplish Your Goals

Motivation is an important factor in accomplishing your goals. Without it, it will be more difficult to find the inspiration to reach for what you initially set your heart and mind to do. Fortunately, when motivation starts to dwindle, there are ways to bring it back. 

Here are some tips to stay motivated and on track to reach your goals:

  1. Visualize your goals.

    Visualization is a powerful, time-tested scientific tool that works at a subconscious level. When you set a goal, try visualizing the things you might see, feel and hear when you attain your goal (for example, the applause and the compliments of your colleagues after you delivered an excellent presentation). A lot of successful athletes use this technique to motivate themselves. They visualize their performance in advance and do this in such a detailed manner, that they can smell the sweat dripping from their face as they reach the finish line. An experiment was conducted with athletes in which some athletes were asked to run, and others were asked to visualize ‘as if’ they were running. Surprisingly the muscles of the athletes who visualized, responded in the same way as the people who actually ran, showing that the brain cannot clearly differentiate between reality and strong visualization! The brain perceives the visualized experience to be real, and organizes the body’s chemistry and physiology to respond accordingly. 

  1. Scrutinize your motivators.

    Know the specific reasons you want to attain a specific goal, and write these reasons down. For instance, if you want to attain something for your loved ones, this could be a powerful motivator as you’re not just motivated by self-interest. While self-interest is a good motivator, wanting to accomplish a goal for something other than self-interest can have more impact in sustaining your motivation for a long time. Some questions to ask are:

What are the greatest benefits for me if I achieve my goal?

What all will change positively in my life?

How will my life change when I achieve this?

How will I feel and how will my future look if I achieve this?

What kind of person can I become if I achieve this?

  1. Accept your mistakes.

    The path to attaining success may not be easy. There will be roadblocks along the way, and you’ll probably make mistakes in the process. Instead of beating yourself up for those mistakes, use them as learning opportunities. Don’t let them be the reasons you stop reaching for your goals. Use them as opportunities to learn what not to do in the future. Everyone makes mistakes! In fact, champions fail even more because they set higher goals than anyone else who chooses to be in the comfort zone. The only difference is how they treat their failures – champions learn from them, become stronger, and keep going. 

  2. Break down your main goal into chunks.

    Break your main goal into more task-oriented, smaller goals. Set a deadline for each one. For instance, if your primary goal is re-organizing your closet, know exactly when and where you should start. It could be your shoes, then belts and accessories, then shirts, etc. Breaking down a huge task into smaller ones will make the process more manageable, and will help to prevent the levels of stress which can damage motivation. By chunking it down or creating milestones, a big goal becomes more achievable and measurable. When you can measure and document progress and small success, this will help to sustain and builds more motivation.

  3. Compete with yourself.

    There are times when you tend to compare yourself with others and try to reach for perfection – making it harder to reach your goals. This can have a huge impact on your motivation, thereby sabotaging it, instead of maximizing it to push yourself forward. With that said it makes sense to compete with self and work on continuous improvement rather than getting bogged down by others or trying to race with others. It is definitely important to learn from others and their strategies, and model them if required, but remember, ‘whenever we just try to overtake people on the highway there will be always someone or the other ahead of us’.

Sustaining motivation can be tough, but with the right mindset and motivational training, you can tap into your inner motivation, harness it, and sustain it.


About the Author: Harrish Sairaman

Harrish SairamanHarrish Sairaman is a well-known motivational teacher in India, helping many to achieve which once seemed unachievable like increase motivation, leadership, Corporate Training, decrease stress etc. through Motivational Training Programs, Leadership training programs, team building training programs, Entrepreneur Coaching and Individual Coaching to name a few. His ability to deliver life changing, scientifically sound, relevant and metaphysical messages in a powerful, humorous and insightful manner integrated with high energy has earned him a reputation of bringing about a difference with a difference! 

Find out more about Harrish on www.harrishsairaman.comFacebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

 

2 Comments

Muhammad

Thanks for the tips. just like what Mr. Fawzy told me at almentor, just focus to your original goal and don’t make hasty decisions.

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Hello Adelaide! I’ll be in Adelaide on Friday 27 June to present a full-day workshop on anxiety. 

This is not just another anxiety workshop, and is for anyone who lives or works with young people - therapists, educators, parents, OTs - anyone. 

Tickets are still available. Search Hey Sigmund workshops for a full list of events, dates, and to buy tickets or see here https://www.heysigmund.com/public-events/
First we decide, ‘Is this discomfort from something unsafe or is it from something growthful?’

Then ask, ‘Is this a time to lift them out of the brave space, or support them through it?’

To help, look at how they’ll feel when they (eventually) get through it. If they could do this bravely thing easily tomorrow, would they feel proud? Happy? Excited? Grateful they did it? 

‘Brave’ isn’t about outcome. It’s about handling the discomfort of the brave space and the anxiety that comes with that. They don’t have to handle it all at once. The move through the brave space can be a shuffle rather than a leap. 

The more we normalise the anxiety they feel, and the more we help them feel safer with it (see ‘Hey Warrior’ or ‘Ups and Downs’ for a hand with this), the more we strengthen their capacity to move through the brave space with confidence. This will take time, experience, and probably lots of anxiety along the way. It’s just how growth is. 

We don’t need to get rid of their anxiety. The key is to help them recognise that they can feel anxious and do brave. They won’t believe this until they experience it. Anxiety shrinks the feeling of brave, not the capacity for it. 

What’s important is supporting them through the brave space lovingly, gently (though sometimes it won’t feel so gentle) and ‘with’, little step by little step. It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, as long as they’re forward.♥️
Of course we’ll never ever stop loving them. But when we send them away (time out),
ignore them, get annoyed at them - it feels to them like we might.

It’s why more traditional responses to tricky behaviour don’t work the way we think they did. The goal of behaviour becomes more about avoiding any chance of disconnection. It drive lies and secrecy more than learning or their willingness to be open to us.

Of course, no parent is available and calm and connected all the time - and we don’t need to be. 

It’s about what we do most, how we handle their tricky behaviour and their big feelings, and how we repair when we (perhaps understandably) lose our cool. (We’re human and ‘cool’ can be an elusive little beast at times for all of us.)

This isn’t about having no boundaries. It isn’t about being permissive. It’s about holding boundaries lovingly and with warmth.

The fix:

- Embrace them, (‘you’re such a great kid’). Reject their behaviour (‘that behaviour isn’t okay’). 

- If there’s a need for consequences, let this be about them putting things right, rather than about the loss of your or affection.

- If they tell the truth, even if it’s about something that takes your breath away, reward the truth. Let them see you’re always safe to come to, no matter what.

We tell them we’ll love them through anything, and that they can come to us for anything, but we have to show them. And that behaviour that threatens to steal your cool, counts as ‘anything’.

- Be guided by your values. The big ones in our family are honesty, kindness, courage, respect. This means rewarding honesty, acknowledging the courage that takes, and being kind and respectful when they get things wrong. Mean is mean. It’s not constructive. It’s not discipline. It’s not helpful. If we would feel it as mean if it was done to us, it counts as mean when we do it to them.

Hold your boundary, add the warmth. And breathe.

Big behaviour and bad decisions don’t come from bad kids. They come from kids who don’t have the skills or resources in the moment to do otherwise.

Our job as their adults is to help them build those skills and resources but this takes time. And you. They can’t do this without you.❤️
We can’t fix a problem (felt disconnection) by replicating the problem (removing affection, time-out, ignoring them).

All young people at some point will feel the distance between them and their loved adult. This isn’t bad parenting. It’s life. Life gets in the way sometimes - work stress, busy-ness, other kiddos.

We can’t be everything to everybody all the time, and we don’t need to be.

Kids don’t always need our full attention. Mostly, they’ll be able to hold the idea of us and feel our connection across time and space.

Sometimes though, their tanks will feel a little empty. They’ll feel the ‘missing’ of us. This will happen in all our relationships from time to time.

Like any of us humans, our kids and teens won’t always move to restore that felt connection to us in polished or lovely ways. They won’t always have the skills or resources to do this. (Same for us as adults - we’ve all been there.)

Instead, in a desperate, urgent attempt to restore balance to the attachment system, the brain will often slide into survival mode. 

This allows the brain to act urgently (‘See me! Be with me!) but not always rationally (‘I’m missing you. I’m feeling unseen, unnoticed, unchosen. I know this doesn’t make sense because you’re right there, and I know you love me, but it’s just how I feel. Can you help me?’

If we don’t notice them enough when they’re unnoticeable, they’ll make themselves noticeable. For children, to be truly unseen is unsafe. But being seen and feeling seen are different. Just because you see them, doesn’t mean they’ll feel it.

The brain’s survival mode allows your young person to be seen, but not necessarily in a way that makes it easy for us to give them what they need.

The fix?

- First, recognise that behaviour isn’t about a bad child. It’s a child who is feeling disconnected. One of their most important safety systems - the attachment system - is struggling. Their behaviour is an unskilled, under-resourced attempt to restore it.

- Embrace them, lean in to them - reject the behaviour.

- Keep their system fuelled with micro-connections - notice them when they’re unnoticeable, play, touch, express joy when you’re with them, share laughter.♥️
Everything comes back to how safe we feel - everything: how we feel and behave, whether we can connect, learn, play - or not. It all comes back to felt safety.

The foundation of felt safety for kids and teens is connection with their important adults.

Actually, connection with our important people is the foundation of felt safety for all of us.

All kids will struggle with feeling a little disconnected at times. All of us adults do too. Why? Because our world gets busy sometimes, and ‘busy’ and ‘connected’ are often incompatible.

In trying to provide the very best we can for them, sometimes ‘busy’ takes over. This will happen in even the most loving families.

This is when you might see kiddos withdraw a little, or get bigger with their behaviour, maybe more defiant, bigger feelings. This is a really normal (though maybe very messy!) attempt to restore felt safety through connection.

We all do this in our relationships. We’re more likely to have little scrappy arguments with our partners, friends, loved adults when we’re feeling disconnected from them.

This isn’t about wilful attempt, but an instinctive, primal attempt to restore felt safety through visibility. Because for any human, (any mammal really), to feel unseen is to feel unsafe.

Here’s the fix. Notice them when they are unnoticeable. If you don’t have time for longer check-ins or conversations or play, that’s okay - dose them up with lots of micro-moments of connection.

Micro-moments matter. Repetition matters - of loving incidental comments, touch, laughter. It all matters. They might not act like it does in the moment - but it does. It really does.

And when you can, something else to add in is putting word to the things you do for them that might go unnoticed - but doing this in a joyful way - not in a ‘look at what I do for you’ way.

‘Guess what I’m making for dinner tonight because I know how much you love it … pizza!’

‘I missed you today. Here you go - I brought these car snacks for you. I know how much you love these.’

‘I feel like I haven’t had enough time with you today. I can’t wait to sit down and have dinner with you.’ ❤️

#parenting #gentleparenting #parent #parentingwithrespect

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