Facebook Live (During Isolation) – Anxiety, Big Feelings, Tantrums, Sibling Fights … and more.

Facebook Live

We covered a lot of ground in our Facebook Live. Here is the link to the replay on Facebook in case you missed it, with time notes so you can skip to the bits you want.

 

Just in case you want to skip a bit …

01:10   The ‘fight’ part of anxiety – tantrums, aggression, big feelings – why it happens and what to do.

04:20  Big feelings are a call for us to come closer (even when they don’t feel that way).

06:00  Why ‘little’ things can tip them over the edge, and how to respond.

09:25  When their anxiety triggers ours – when we fight with them instead of for them – why, and what to do.

10:50  The good news about self-regulation.

16:05  How to manage transitions.

18:10  Squabbling with your teen? This might help.

18:50  The opportunities that sit inside anxiety/anger/big feelings.

20:04  Adolescents, big feelings, regulation – what they need from us.

22:50  When big anxiety looks like big fight.

24:54  How it helps to ‘meet the energy with similar energy, but not similar anger’.

29:10  How mindfulness supports a long term strengthening of the brain against anxiety.

32:00  Dealing with other stressors on top of social isolation.

33:35  How to expand the capacity to cope with anxiety and stress.

35:15  When kids won’t talk about it.

35:25  Why some kids might be regressing at the moment (clinginess, asking for help when they haven’t needed it before).

40:00  Routines – how they help (and it’s okay if some slip).

42:17  Why does my teen hear me as ‘angry’ when I’m not?

46:37  How do we role model strength and calm when we’re feeling anxious ourselves?

49:50  Sleep – strategies to help with peaceful pillow time.

1:03:02  ‘Only children’ in social isolation.

1:05:31  Dealing with sibling squabbles

1:08:28  Social media and screen time.

 

6 Comments

gosia

Only today I have found this wonderful video! Thank you so very, very much! I have been following you for a few years now (newsletter) and I have to say, that you are really looking after me! Both my husband and daughter have anxiety (ADHD spectrum) and so often I am so tired of arguments, shouting, and fragile egos… However, reading your letters always brings me a perspective, explanation, and compassion. Thank you very much for doing that, for all your work and connection.

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We know there are too many kids struggling right now, including those from loving, responsive families and in loving, responsive schools. 

One of the places these struggles will show themselves is at school, even in the most loving responsive ones. Sometimes these struggles show themselves with a roar, sometimes with nothing at all.

Too many kids are feeling no sense at all that they matter. They don’t feel they are doing something that matters, and they don’t feel that they matter to others.

Too many of them will go weeks at school without hearing their name in a way that makes them feel seen, cared for, and valued.

Too many of them are showing up at school but are noticed more when they don’t, even if only by the unticked box beside their name.

For too many kids, we are asking them to show up when they don’t feel like they have anything to offer, or anything at all to show up for. Why wouldn’t they struggle?

This week I had the greatest privilege of speaking to a room of 300 school well-being staff about how to support all children, how to catch the ones who are struggling, and what we can do to buffer, protect and heal all young people at school.

If you are a parent of a young person who is struggling, I want you to know that schools are working hard to hold them, lovingly and safely.

I know there are also many parents who haven’t had this experience, and your children haven’t got what they need. I know that. I want you to know that change is happening. I want you to know what I see when I work with the wellbeing staff at these schools. They care. They really do. They are so invested in supporting your children, seeing the child behind the student and showing up big for all of them. The work is happening. There’s a lot to do, but it’s happening.

Yes we need more resources, and yes more people, and yes we’re asking more of our schools and teachers than ever, and yes the world is asking more of our kids than ever, but the work is happening.

Thank you to the Department of Education Queensland for working with me, and thank you to the wellbeing staff, teachers, and leadership who are giving everything they can to be there for our children. You matter.♥️
Over the past the past 24 hours, I’ve been in Devonport, Tasmania to deliver two sessions to parents and carers - ‘Big Feelings, Connection, and Confidence’, then later an open Q and A where parents brought their real life questions - and we talked.

Thank you for welcoming me so warmly, and for trusting me with your questions, your stories, and your vulnerability. 

This was an openness where real change begins. Parenting is hard - beautiful and messy and hard. In the last 24 hours, I’ve been moved by the openness and honesty of parents I’ve shared space with. This is where generational patterns start to shift.

So many of the parents I met are already doing this deep, brave work. The questions asked were honest, raw, and profoundly human — the kind of questions that can feel heavy and isolating until you hear someone else ask them too.

Our children will grow in the most incredible ways if we allow them the space, and if we hold that space with love and leadership and a curious mind. And, if we open ourselves to them, and are willing to shift and stretch and grow, they will grow us too.

Thank you to @devonportevents for everything you’ve done to make these events happen.♥️
Can’t wait for this! I’ll be in Devonport, Tasmania next week to present two talks for parents and carers. 

The first is on Monday evening 19 May for a talk about how to support big feelings, behaviour and regulation in young people. This is not just another anxiety talk. You’ll walk away feeling hopeful, empowered, and with strategies you can start using straight away. 

Then, on Tuesday morning 20 May, I’ll be giving another talk for parents and carers but this will be a Q&A. Bring your questions to me! Even if you don’t have questions, the ones I answer will be loaded with practical information that will support you in your parenting journey. 

So grateful to @devonportevents for organising the events. They are public talks, open to everyone. 

Tickets available at Humanitix - search Devonport events and scroll down until you find me! 

Would love to see you there.♥️

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