Overcoming Anxiety: The Remarkable (and Proven) Power of Mindfulness – How, Why, What

Overcoming Anxiety: The Remarkable (and Proven) Power of Mindfulness - How, Why, What

It is hard to believe that something so beautiful in its simplicity could be so powerful, but that’s exactly what mindfulness is, and now science can’t stop talking about it. Mindfulness is an ancient art and up until relatively recently, it has managed to escape the research spotlight. That’s probably not too surprising – The research is growing like crazy and though there’s still a lot we don’t know, one of the things we do know is that mindfulness has a profound capacity to heal and strengthen the brain against anxiety.

Research that analysed 19 separate mindfulness/anxiety studies found that mindfulness was ‘associated with robust and substantial reductions in symptoms of anxiety.’ In fact, mindfulness was found to be as effective for anxiety as cognitive behaviour therapy – one of the most popular treatments for anxiety.

Mindfulness – What is it? And do I need, you know, hippie pants?

Though it was once the domain of Buddhist monks and the enlightened, mindfulness has now well and truly entered the mainstream. Mindfulness is about being fully engaged with the present moment. It involves reconnecting with your immediate experience – the sensations in your body, the sounds, smells, sights, tastes and feel of the world around you. It can be as simple as noticing the ground beneath you when you walk or the feel of the water against your skin when you shower.

Try this. As you read this, slow down and really experience where you are. Feel your clothes against your skin. Tune in to feel of the fabric as it rests upon you – soft, heavy, scratchy, warm. As you do this, notice any thoughts and feelings that come to you but watch them as an observer. Surrender the need to understand them or analyse them. Just see them for what they are – a thought or a feeling. Let them come, and then let them go.

There you go. You have just practiced the remarkable art of mindfulness. Doing this regularly will bring measurable changes in your mood, your mind and your body. If it could, your mind would smother you with kisses for the good you would be doing. 

How does mindfulness work in overcoming anxiety?

1.  Mindfulness changes the brain.

Anxiety happens because the amygdala, a part of the brain that is there to keep you safe by noticing and responding to danger, gets a little overzealous in hitting the panic button. When the amygdala senses trouble, it immediately surges your body with fuel (oxygen, hormones and adrenalin) to give your body what it needs to run from the danger or fight it. The amygdala doesn’t care if the danger is real or not – it just wants to keep you safe. This is called the fight or flight response. It’s hardwired in all of us and it’s what has kept us alive for thousands of years. Sometimes though, the amygdala thinks there’s a threat and fuels you up even though there’s no danger. Without the need to run or fight, the fuel builds up and that’s the reason you feel like you do when you have anxiety.

An anxious brain has a powerful amygdala. Because it fires up often, the connections are strong, making it more sensitive to threat and quicker to fire in the future … but … there’s something pretty brilliant that we’ve only come to know in the last decade or so: Throughout our entire lives, we can nurture the nature and change our brain. Practicing mindfulness has been proven as powerful way to do this. Mindfulness has repeatedly been found to change the structure and function of the brain, particularly an anxious one. Here’s how:

  Increase in the density of the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that is responsible for calming down our instinctive emotional responses (such as fear). This finding was based on an average of 27 minutes of mindfulness a day for eight weeks.

♦  Decrease in the size of the amygdala – the centre of the brain’s fight or flight response and a key player in anxiety. A smaller amygdala means a less anxious brain – one that’s less likely to sense danger that isn’t there and initiate a fight or flight response that isn’t needed.

♦  Stronger connectivity between the reactive amygdala (‘dammit we’re in trouble’) and the rational, calming pre-frontal cortex (‘nah, we’re okay – nothing to worry about here’). When this connection is strong, the prefrontal cortex can be called on to calm down the amygdala. Both parts of the brain are important but for a healthy response, they need to work together. Teamwork. Beautiful.

♦ Increase in levels of GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) which is one of the brain’s important neurotransmitters. GABA is there to handbrake activity in the brain when it gets too busy up there. It’s the brain’s calm down chemical. Low GABA is associated with a number of problems, including anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Mindfulness increases GABA, which is also the way some anti-anxiety drugs ease anxiety.

♦  Decrease in cortisol (the stress hormone) which is intimately involved with anxiety.

♦  Activation of the relaxation response (first discovered by Harvard cardiologist Dr Herbert Benson), which reverses the fight or flight response. It’s hardwired in all of us which means that once it’s activated, the body can’t help but relax. Deep strong breathing also activates the relaxation response. Regular mindfulness will strengthen the neural connections that activate the relaxation response, which means that it will be easier to activate (through strong, slow breathing) when it’s needed.

2.  Provides an anchor for an anxious brain.

An anxious brain spends a lot of time in the future preparing for the ‘what ifs’. Mindfulness trains and strengthens the brain to stay in the moment. Of course, there will always be times when it is important to think about the future or the past and mindfulness doesn’t interrupt this. What it does do, is give you back control over when to be influenced by what-ifs and when to let go. Even though anxiety feels very much in the present – and it is – it’s driven by memories of past events or thoughts that are anchored in the future.

3.  Stops anxiety clamouring for your attention.

Anxious thoughts are stubborn thoughts. The more you tell them to be nice, the more they’ll worry you. Fighting anxiety when you’re in the thick of it is like thrashing around in a current. It makes things worse. Anxiety is a fight or flight response, remember, so the more you fight your anxious thoughts, the more your brain will fuel you up for the fight. Positive thinking might last a little while, but it’s generally only until your anxious mind decides that enough is enough and that positivity is for the ponies because ‘there’s real shit to deal with here – and it’s big, so you’d better get ready to move.’ 

Mindfulness stops the fight. It strengthens your mind to observe your thoughts and feelings without fighting them or changing them. With a regular practice of mindfulness, the brain learns that it’s okay to let thoughts and feelings come and go. Again, there will be times when you want to hang on to a thought or a feeling as long as possible and mindfulness won’t stop this. Instead, it strengthens your mind to be more deliberate about which ones stay and which ones go.

4.  Turns off auto-pilot and lets you act more deliberately.

Thoughts are so powerful – they create our reality and direct our part in it. The thing is, a lot of them happen automatically, like breathing. Our mood, feelings and behavior are all influenced by what we’re thinking, but we generally don’t stop to examine those thoughts or to consider whether those thoughts deserve the influence. Mindfulness helps you to step back and observe your thoughts and feelings as though you’re watching from the sidelines. When you surrender, for a short while, the need to analyse or hang on to any thought or feeling for longer than it needs to be there, you’ll realise that thoughts and feelings are just that – thoughts and feelings, not facts. They will come, and then they will go. 

This doesn’t mean that you disconnect from your thoughts – not at all. What is means is that you can see them for what they are, and move gently around them. It will help you to notice the way your thoughts contribute to your anxiety. Think about your thoughts like furniture scattered around a dark room. When the lights are out, you can’t see where you’re going or what’s in your way. You’ll bump and scrape and get frustrated and confused. Being mindful is like switching on the light. The thoughts and feelings will still be there, but we will be able to navigate gently around them without being hurt by them.

Practicing the Life-Changing Art of Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is just experiencing the moment as it is. It’s where you let thoughts and feelings come, and then you let them go, without hanging on, bear hug style, to figure out what they mean. Mindfulness can take some getting used to. You’ll probably find that when you first start, your mind will wander off in all sorts of directions. This is completely normal. Your brain has been doing what it does your entire life and it’s likely to take some convincing to be still.

  1. At its most basic.

    Try for five or ten minutes at the start and work your way up to longer when you’re ready. Position yourself so that you feel supported and comfortable. When you’re ready, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Feel the air as it flows in and out of your body. When your mind wanders, which it probably will, gently come back to your breathing. Let your thoughts, feelings and sensations come and go. You don’t have to do anything with them. 

  2. Imagine your thoughts as traffic.

    Easing anxiety isn’t just about getting rid of anxiety, but about not being scared by it. The more you can see it for what it is, the less power it will have to hurt you. Imagine watching your thoughts and feelings in the same way you might watch traffic on a suburban street. Watch them come, and then watch them go. You don’t need to understand the traffic and you don’t need to change it. Rather than seeing anxiety as something that’s in your way, mindfulness helps you to rethink it as something that’s along your way. When you stop fighting your mind, it will stop fighting you back. 

  3. Be mindful of your breathing.

    Slow deep breathing is like a massage for your brain. It absolutely loves it. Try in for 3, hold for 1, out for 3. This will help to restore the balance of carbon dioxide and oxygen that has been knocked out by short, shallow breathing. It’s also a way to initiate the relaxation response, which reverses the fight or flight response and eases the awful physical symptoms that come with anxiety (racy heart, nausea, clamminess, tense or shaky arms and legs, flushed face … you know how it goes).

  4. Be mindful of your other senses. 

    Move outside of your mind. Interrupt your anxiety by moving to outside of yourself, just a little. What do you see? What can you smell? What can you feel? Notice the ground beneath you. Or the breeze on your skin. What can you hear? Stop, listen and connect with the world around you. This will help to ground you and to direct your anxious mind to somewhere that isn’t as overwhelming for you.

  5. Be mindful of the things that happen to you every day.

    You don’t necessarily have to quarantine special time for a mindfulness practice, though it is a way to make sure you get the full effect. There will be opportunities for mindfulness dotted throughout your day. Notice how things feel – your clothes against your skin, the feel of the water against your skin in the shower, the sound of stillness, the ground beneath your feet and the sounds and smells around you as you walk. With mindfulness it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, but whatever you do, be all there.

  6. Have a regular practice.

    True, mindfulness can happen at any time but having a regular time will make it more likely that this healthy practice turns into a habit. Choose a time to be aware of the world inside you and around you. It can be on your daily walk, while you’re downing your coffee, on the way to work, when you wake up or before you go to sleep. The effect of mindfulness on the brain is not instant, but it is powerful and long lasting. The effect will come from a regular, consistent practice. Think of it more like exercise that a diet pill. Be patient and persistent and good things will happen.

  7. Be mindful of your energy.

    An anxious mind is an energised body. It has to be. The reason anxiety exists is to energise your body to get it ready to fight for your life or run for it. Be mindful of your energy and why it’s there. Channeling your energy through some sort of movement will help to burn the fuel that your brain is delivering to your body to get it stronger, faster, and more powerful. Feel the energy in your body – it will be there in your racy heart, your shaky limbs – and help it to find a way out. o for a brisk walk, a run, go up and down stairs – anything that will burn your excess energy will help to calm your anxious body and your anxious mind.

  8. Try something new.

    Jolt your mind out of its habitual way of responding to the world by doing something different. It only has to be one small thing outside of what you would ordinarily do. Try listening to different music, a different route for your daily walk or soaking in a bath instead of hurrying through the shower.

  9. Smiling Minds. The App.

    Mindfulness – there’s an app for that and it’s called Smiling Minds (here you go). It’s brilliant and it makes mindfulness super easy. There are different programs for all age groups from kids to adults. Like I said. Super-easy. 

And finally …

You might find when you start that your thoughts will get more chaotic for a while. That’s okay and really normal. You will have anxious thoughts. Maybe some sad ones too. When your mind is still, your thoughts will think it’s open house. They will swirl and race around in your mind and have you following them to every possible conclusion. You might find yourself even deeper in the what-ifs – What if I’m not doing it properly? What if it doesn’t work? Oh no. I’ve got that dinner on the weekend. Shit. What if I’m overdressed. What if I’m underdressed. Did I leave the oven on? … This is going to happen. When it does, just bring yourself back to the moment and back to your breathing.

Remember, your brain is tough. It’s wilful and strong and it might take some persuading. It will take time and there will be times – probably many – that you’ll feel like you want out. Don’t. Don’t opt out. Keep doing it and it will get easier. If you’re finding it hard, it means you’re doing something different to what you usually do. That’s a good thing.

Don’t lose sight of the good that can come along the way. The process of learning mindfulness is also part of the healing and strengthening. There is no ultimate outcome that you’re aiming for. Just start, and the rest of it will take care of itself.

16 Comments

Jo Wilkie

I think you wrote about mindfulness in a good way. Personally I loathe the new mindfulness or McMindfulness movement as I keep bumping into gurus with 5 minutes training who want me to sit in a room on a yoga mat and listen to my breathing. I work in resilience which includes mindfulness. There is nothing new about mindfulness but it has all been repackaged for a new generation. We want to be on our smart phones 24/7 and then do a 5 minute mindfulness app and feel better …. or not. I am more interested in working on how people find their own mindfulness which may be through dance or sport or nature and not sitting on a mat and being told to feel things! The self care supermarket can be quite patronising.

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Jodi

Great article. I checked out your website because I just received a copy of your book Hey Warrior. Great book. I will be using it as a teaching tool in my classrooms. I teach anxiety reducing techniques including mindfulness at schools in rural Alberta, Canada. I used to encourage students to try to replace negative thoughts with more positive ones but now encourage them to be more “curious” about them and then re-direct back to the breath.Seems to work well for all ages.

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Denise

Great article! I’ve been reading more about mindfulness. But, until I read your article I never fully understood it. You broke it down in such a way that makes sense. I even found myself practcing mindfulness while reading this.

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Peter Strong

Excellent article! I teach mindfulness meditation to my clients and the results are remarkable, especially when we use the more advanced techniques of meditating on the anxiety itself. This really breaks the cycle of reactive thinking that prevents anxiety from resolving itself.

The Boulder Center for Online Mindfulness Therapy

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Angela

Fantastic information!

Do you know, by chance, the severity of the anxieties that this theory has been tested against? I noticed that it is noted to be as good as cognitive behaviour therapy, which is great! However, I’m curious of the ability it has to help someone whos anxiety is so bad that it completely disables them?!

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Hey Sigmund

This research involved 19 different studies that looked at the effectiveness of mindfulness and anxiety so there would have been all different levels of anxiety. The thing is, however severe your symptoms are, it’s very likely that mindfulness will help in some way because of the way it changes the brain. Would be worth a try!

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Michelle lee

An insightful and practical article. A great reminder of some basic techniques too. I love smiling mind and also Buddify.
Thanks for a great read

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Liz

This article is great to read to the adolescents I work with that are dealing with high anxiety. Thank you!

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Suzen

Great article on the science behind Mindfulness. Knowledge is power, therefore important to understand facts about the how, why, what about engaging in a new practice. Being creatures of habit, I appreciated your mention of doing something different, perceiving thoughts differently, as traffic or whatever helps us realize that overthinking is an addiction, and monitoring the frequency of our energy. The app sounds like a wonderful resource to assist the beginnings of Mindfulness or development of the practice. Headed to the app to check it out, thanks!

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Natasha Daniels

Wonderful article! Perfect timing – I have just been really trying to incorporate this into my life. So hard when life goes at such a fast pace – but so important! I love how you explained the benefits – I’m sold!

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Hey Sigmund

Thanks Natasha! I really get that. I found mindfulness quite difficult in the beginning but once I got into a routine – no looking back.

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Pat

You have thoughtfully written this as if you’d been “wearing the moccasins” of a 10 year old. When she reads this she’ll feel as if you could read her mind.
What a need you serve.

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Big feelings, and the big behaviour that comes from big feelings, are a sign of a distressed nervous system. Think of this like a burning building. The behaviour is the smoke. The fire is a distressed nervous system. It’s so tempting to respond directly to the behaviour (the smoke), but by doing this, we ignore the fire. Their behaviour and feelings in that moment are a call for support - for us to help that distressed brain and body find the way home. 

The most powerful language for any nervous system is another nervous system. They will catch our distress (as we will catch theirs) but they will also catch our calm. It can be tempting to move them to independence on this too quickly, but it just doesn’t work this way. Children can only learn to self-regulate with lots (and lots and lots) of experience co-regulating. 

This isn’t something that can be taught. It’s something that has to be experienced over and over. It’s like so many things - driving a car, playing the piano - we can talk all we want about ‘how’ but it’s not until we ‘do’ over and over that we get better at it. 

Self-regulation works the same way. It’s not until children have repeated experiences with an adult bringing them back to calm, that they develop the neural pathways to come back to calm on their own. 

An important part of this is making sure we are guiding that nervous system with tender, gentle hands and a steady heart. This is where our own self-regulation becomes important. Our nervous systems speak to each other every moment of every day. When our children or teens are distressed, we will start to feel that distress. It becomes a loop. We feel what they feel, they feel what we feel. Our own capacity to self-regulate is the circuit breaker. 

This can be so tough, but it can happen in microbreaks. A few strong steady breaths can calm our own nervous system, which we can then use to calm theirs. Breathe, and be with. It’s that simple, but so tough to do some days. When they come back to calm, then have those transformational chats - What happened? What can make it easier next time?

Who you are in the moment will always be more important than what you do.
How we are with them, when they are their everyday selves and when they aren’t so adorable, will build their view of three things: the world, its people, and themselves. This will then inform how they respond to the world and how they build their very important space in it. 

Will it be a loving, warm, open-hearted space with lots of doors for them to throw open to the people and experiences that are right for them? Or will it be a space with solid, too high walls that close out too many of the people and experiences that would nourish them.

They will learn from what we do with them and to them, for better or worse. We don’t teach them that the world is safe for them to reach into - we show them. We don’t teach them to be kind, respectful, and compassionate. We show them. We don’t teach them that they matter, and that other people matter, and that their voices and their opinions matter. We show them. We don’t teach them that they are little joy mongers who light up the world. We show them. 

But we have to be radically kind with ourselves too. None of this is about perfection. Parenting is hard, and days will be hard, and on too many of those days we’ll be hard too. That’s okay. We’ll say things we shouldn’t say and do things we shouldn’t do. We’re human too. Let’s not put pressure on our kiddos to be perfect by pretending that we are. As long as we repair the ruptures as soon as we can, and bathe them in love and the warmth of us as much as we can, they will be okay.

This also isn’t about not having boundaries. We need to be the guardians of their world and show them where the edges are. But in the guarding of those boundaries we can be strong and loving, strong and gentle. We can love them, and redirect their behaviour.

It’s when we own our stuff(ups) and when we let them see us fall and rise with strength, integrity, and compassion, and when we hold them gently through the mess of it all, that they learn about humility, and vulnerability, and the importance of holding bruised hearts with tender hands. It’s not about perfection, it’s about consistency, and honesty, and the way we respond to them the most.♥️

#parenting #mindfulparenting
Anxiety and courage always exist together. It can be no other way. Anxiety is a call to courage. It means you're about to do something brave, so when there is one the other will be there too. Their courage might feel so small and be whisper quiet, but it will always be there and always ready to show up when they need it to.
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But courage doesn’t always feel like courage, and it won't always show itself as a readiness. Instead, it might show as a rising - from fear, from uncertainty, from anger. None of these mean an absence of courage. They are the making of space, and the opportunity for courage to rise.
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When the noise from anxiety is loud and obtuse, we’ll have to gently add our voices to usher their courage into the light. We can do this speaking of it and to it, and by shifting the focus from their anxiety to their brave. The one we focus on is ultimately what will become powerful. It will be the one we energise. Anxiety will already have their focus, so we’ll need to make sure their courage has ours.
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But we have to speak to their fear as well, in a way that makes space for it to be held and soothed, with strength. Their fear has an important job to do - to recruit the support of someone who can help them feel safe. Only when their fear has been heard will it rest and make way for their brave.
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What does this look like? Tell them their stories of brave, but acknowledge the fear that made it tough. Stories help them process their emotional experiences in a safe way. It brings word to the feelings and helps those big feelings make sense and find containment. ‘You were really worried about that exam weren’t you. You couldn’t get to sleep the night before. It was tough going to school but you got up, you got dressed, you ... and you did it. Then you ...’
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In the moment, speak to their brave by first acknowledging their need to flee (or fight), then tell them what you know to be true - ‘This feels scary for you doesn’t it. I know you want to run. It makes so much sense that you would want to do that. I also know you can do hard things. My darling, I know it with everything in me.’
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#positiveparenting #parenting #childanxiety #anxietyinchildren #mindfulpare
Separation anxiety has an important job to do - it’s designed to keep children safe by driving them to stay close to their important adults. Gosh it can feel brutal sometimes though.

Whenever there is separation from an attachment person there will be anxiety unless there are two things: attachment with another trusted, loving adult; and a felt sense of you holding on, even when you aren't beside them. Putting these in place will help soften anxiety.

As long as children are are in the loving care of a trusted adult, there's no need to avoid separation. We'll need to remind ourselves of this so we can hold on to ourselves when our own anxiety is rising in response to theirs. 

If separation is the problem, connection has to be the solution. The connection can be with any loving adult, but it's more than an adult being present. It needs an adult who, through their strong, warm, loving presence, shows the child their abundant intention to care for that child, and their joy in doing so. This can be helped along by showing that you trust the adult to love that child big in our absence. 'I know [important adult] loves you and is going to take such good care of you.'

To help your young one feel held on to by you, even in absence, let them know you'll be thinking of them and can't wait to see them. Bolster this by giving them something of yours to hold while you're gone - a scarf, a note - anything that will be felt as 'you'.

They know you are the one who makes sure their world is safe, so they’ll be looking to you for signs of safety: 'Do you think we'll be okay if we aren't together?' First, validate: 'You really want to stay with me, don't you. I wish I could stay with you too! It's hard being away from your special people isn't it.' Then, be their brave. Let it be big enough to wrap around them so they can rest in the safety and strength of it: 'I know you can do this, love. We can do hard things can't we.'

Part of growing up brave is learning that the presence of anxiety doesn't always mean something is wrong. Sometimes it means they are on the edge of brave - and being away from you for a while counts as brave.
Even the most loving, emotionally available adult might feel frustration, anger, helplessness or distress in response to a child’s big feelings. This is how it’s meant to work. 

Their distress (fight/flight) will raise distress in us. The purpose is to move us to protect or support or them, but of course it doesn’t always work this way. When their big feelings recruit ours it can drive us more to fight (anger, blame), or to flee (avoid, ignore, separate them from us) which can steal our capacity to support them. It will happen to all of us from time to time. 

Kids and teens can’t learn to manage big feelings on their own until they’ve done it plenty of times with a calm, loving adult. This is where co-regulation comes in. It helps build the vital neural pathways between big feelings and calm. They can’t build those pathways on their own. 

It’s like driving a car. We can tell them how to drive as much as we like, but ‘talking about’ won’t mean they’re ready to hit the road by themselves. Instead we sit with them in the front seat for hours, driving ‘with’ until they can do it on their own. Feelings are the same. We feel ‘with’, over and over, until they can do it on their own. 

What can help is pausing for a moment to see the behaviour for what it is - a call for support. It’s NOT bad behaviour or bad parenting. It’s not that.

Our own feelings can give us a clue to what our children are feeling. It’s a normal, healthy, adaptive way for them to share an emotional load they weren’t meant to carry on their own. Self-regulation makes space for us to hold those feelings with them until those big feelings ease. 

Self-regulation can happen in micro moments. First, see the feelings or behaviour for what it is - a call for support. Then breathe. This will calm your nervous system, so you can calm theirs. In the same way we will catch their distress, they will also catch ours - but they can also catch our calm. Breathe, validate, and be ‘with’. And you don’t need to do more than that.

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