karenyoung_heysigmund
Our kids need the same thing we do: to feel safe and loved through all feelings not just the convenient ones.
Gosh it’s hard though. I’ve never lost my (thinking) mind as much at anyone as I have with the people I love most in this world.
We’re human, not bricks, and even though we’re parents we still feel it big sometimes. Sometimes these feelings make it hard for us to be the people we want to be for our loves.
That’s the truth of it, and that’s the duality of being a parent. We love and we fury. We want to connect and we want to pull away. We hold it all together and sometimes we can’t.
None of this is about perfection. It’s about being human, and the best humans feel, argue, fight, reconnect, own our ‘stuff’. We keep working on growing and being more of our everythingness, just in kinder ways.
If we get it wrong, which we will, that’s okay. What’s important is the repair - as soon as we can and not selling it as their fault. Our reaction is our responsibility, not theirs. This might sound like, ‘I’m really sorry I yelled. You didn’t deserve that. I really want to hear what you have to say. Can we try again?’
Of course, none of this means ‘no boundaries’. What it means is adding warmth to the boundary. One without the other will feel unsafe - for them, us, and others.
This means making sure that we’ve claimed responsibility- the ability to respond to what’s happening. It doesn’t mean blame. It means recognising that when a young person is feeling big, they don’t have the resources to lead out of the turmoil, so we have to lead them out - not push them out.
Rather than focusing on what we want them to do, shift the focus to what we can do to bring felt safety and calm back into the space.
THEN when they’re calm talk about what’s happened, the repair, and what to do next time.
Discipline means ‘to teach’, not to punish. They will learn best when they are connected to you. Maybe there is a need for consequences, but these must be about repair and restoration. Punishment is pointless, harmful, and outdated.
Hold the boundary, add warmth. Don’t ask them to do WHEN they can’t do. Wait until they can hear you and work on what’s needed. There’s no hurry.♥️
Lisa (verified owner) –
Hey Warrior is such a fantastic tool to use in helping students who struggle with anxiety. As a school counselor, I have used this book with students and I have also shared it with family members. It is so empowering for young people to have information and understanding about what is going on in their brain and body. Thank you for such a meaningful book!
Katy R (verified owner) –
Very helpful for my 10yo with anxiety. He has named his Amygdala Brian, and so far addressing him directly is helping. He has asked to reread a few times already. Thank you!
Alet (verified owner) –
This is a wonderful book. I just read it to my kids and they nodded and laughed along… I think it will be very helpful with facing their worries (and even mine). So far the Amygdala is called Peanut Brain and Meat Brain (?) – I think that’s a compliment.
Jessica M –
Following attending the course with Karen, I used this book to talk to my kids about their amygdala and how it can hijack their thoughts. As a result of these conversation my son will now fall asleep on his own. For the five years prior to that I had to be in the same room as him. This was a game changer for us. My son found a new confidence and I felt empowered. The book is brilliant and beautifully illustrated.
Eve T (verified owner) –
I wanted to add to the positive words about Hey Warrior. I facilitate a social skills group with a group of middle school learning support students. I am always looking for books and other materials to use with this group of students. Hey Warrior was perfect! Beautiful illustrations, understandable language and a positive message about the ability to be in control of your emotions. Thank you for a lovely resource to help my students.
JoAnn (verified owner) –
Absolutely wonderful I’m so many ways. From presentation to content to illustrations, I couldn’t be more pleased. I work with tweens and teens in my practice and was not sure off this would be geared for younger children, but I truly believe it’s a great resource to introduce anxiety to many ages. So pleased with this book!!!
Alison C (verified owner) –
This book was perfect for my 8 year old granddaughter is starting to struggle with Anxiety. It was written for all ages to understand. Absolutely Loved this book.
Michelle (verified owner) –
This book is awesome. A great resource for our Early Learning Clinic.
Betsy (verified owner) –
This book is perfectly written so that a child can understand what is happening in their body when anxiety hits! My 8 year old refers to it as a tool whenever he feels anxious!
Allison Hamff –
Truly one of the best books, if not the best, for helping children understand and learn to deal with anxiety effectively.
Sally (verified owner) –
Love this book! Ordered it, even though my kids are teens. They were reluctant at first, but stayed through the entire book and had a good discussion with me. Easy to understand language that helps take away the “feeling bad about yourself for reacting” when your Warrior is watching out for you.
Laura (verified owner) –
What a wonderful book. I think it’s an absolute masterpiece. I’ll be using this as a mother, an educator, and a human being forever! But I’ll start by using for myself first. Thank you!
Lina –
Such a great way to explain anxiety to kids and making them feel brave and proud of themselves. It inspires them to continue showing their strength in ways that they can understand.
Katie Mc (verified owner) –
Got so much out of this book for my 11yr old daughter. It simplified what I used to try to explain to her and put it in a way easy for her to understand.
Jennifer (verified owner) –
Beautiful book that describes anxiety clearly and shines a positive light on it.
Kimi (verified owner) –
Love it! The book does a great job of presenting anxiety in a really positive way. A great book for kids AND their parents!
Abby (verified owner) –
I just love how the book describes the physical symptoms of anxiety as strengths. I’ve used it in therapy sessions numerous times and it’s gone over well. For younger kids I’ve skipped around, but my middle schoolers get really engaged for the entire thing.
Ashley S (verified owner) –
A beautifully illustrated and very well written book that explains how anxiety works in an age appropriate way. This book will always have a place in my counseling office. Thank you!
maggi (verified owner) –
Well worth the wait. It will be a great tool for our whole family to use. The break down of how anxiety so you can understand what is happening to your body and the illustrations a beautiful.
Martin T (verified owner) –
Great book, really well written and explains anxiety perfectly for kids that need it and for adults to learn from. Well done.
Naomi (verified owner) –
Beautifully done! My son really loves this book.
Helen (verified owner) –
I bought this when my 11 year old had her first experience of anxiety and stopped eating. She didn’t know what was happening to her. The book (along with the letting which she calls Ammy) has helped to explain what is happening in her brain, what it is doing to her body as a reaction and what she can do to take back control of Ammy. It’s really worth investing in! Also recommended it to the psychologist working with my daughter.
Lauren (verified owner) –
This book is amazing and has been super helpful with talking about anxiety with my 6 year old.
Kaari E (verified owner) –
With a little assistance, my three year old understands and loves this book! My child has been sleeping through the night and does not fight bedtime! It also is a great way to teach adults who are skeptical about mental health issues in children or themselves! I highly recommend for any school teacher, counselor, or interested parent!
Sarah L (verified owner) –
Beautiful well written book
Karen (verified owner) –
I am an elementary educator and a lover of beautiful picture books. This one has stunning, artful illustrations that capture the richness of emotions with exquisite detail.
The text is emotionally accessible for young children, and yet rich enough in content that my 12 year old enjoyed listening when I read it out loud.
We talk a lot about feelings in our house, but the whole family learned something new when reading this book. I’m so glad that I discovered it, and highly recommend to any grown up with children they love in their lives.
I will certainly be sharing this book with other parents and teachers in my life!
Joanne (verified owner) –
The book is sensitively written. I haven’t yet given it to my grandson, but I am sure he will like it and be able to connect with the story. Thanks to both the author and the illustrator for creating a beautiful and comforting book.
Amanda (verified owner) –
My 5 year old is an over thinker and worries about everything. We got the book. Beautifully presented and illustrated and read it that morning before school. She loved the character and I could see she was understanding the message. Went to a nurses appointment the day after and she was much calmer. She told her amygdala ( won’t call it another name -she’s so literal) that she got this and mommy got this so no need to be feeling anxious. Great result already!
Michelle Ruth A (verified owner) –
Beautifully written and illustrated. Excellent explanations and coping strategies.
Lynda (verified owner) –
Well written with beautiful illustrations.