Most parents don’t think of bedtime as an opportunity to connect with their child. Typically, we as parents associate bedtime with a frenzied battle zone in which we are trying to get our child to cooperate and complete tasks such as taking a bath, brushing their teeth, or putting on jammies. In order to make the most of this window of time, I suggest two things:
Anxiety is persuasive and determined and it’s masterful at organising families, days and lives around itself. If you have a child who struggles with anxiety, take heart – it’s very possible to change anxiety’s heavy hand in your child’s life. With guidance, information and strategies, anxiety can be given the place is deserves, which is somewhere well away from centre stage.
As a family therapist for over 25 years, I have had the absolute privilege of walking side by side with thousands of families – families suffering from addictions, life-changing mental health diagnosis, families with complex medical needs, children without families, and families who have suffered devastating losses of children.
The smile that lights up your day; that laugh that warms you up with joy and optimism; the ability to show you the world through innocent eyes: kids can be such amazing parts of our lives with their constant ability to learn and grow, teaching us how to see the big picture and to love someone so much it hurts.
Anxiety and ADHD are very different, but sometimes the symptoms can look similar. The correct diagnosis is critical to guide treatment and to make sense of things when kids seem to be struggling or when something doesn’t feel quite right. As much as the right diagnosis can heal, the wrong one can also harm. Understanding how anxiety might look like ADHD, and the telltale differences between the two, can make an important difference in avoiding a misdiagnosis, and helping kids deal with the symptoms that might be getting in their way.
Limit-setting can be a tiresome, thankless task, and the perfect kindling for fiery exchanges between kids and the adults who love them, but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen our connection with them as we nurture their growth. One of our most important tasks is to teach the children in our lives how to be in the world in a way that is life-giving, empowered, whole-hearted and healthy. To do this, we need influence.
Addiction is a hard topic to discuss. For both addicts and those close to them, it’s tough to explain the struggle to family members, friends, or employers. When talking to children about addiction, it can be impossible to find the words to help them understand. For children of addicts, siblings of addicts, or even grandchildren of addicts, the process can be difficult for them to understand. When explaining such a difficult topic, it’s important to take the child’s age into account, be honest with them, focus on support and communication, and foresee the issues that many children tend to develop while being close to addiction.
