Toxic People: 16 Practical, Powerful Ways to Deal With Them

Toxic People: 16 Practical, Powerful Ways to Deal With Them

Even if toxic people came with a warning tattooed on their skin, they might still be difficult to avoid. We can always decide who we allow close to us but it’s not always that easy to cut out the toxics from other parts of our lives. They might be colleagues, bosses, in-laws, step-someones, family, co-parents … and the list goes on.

We live our lives in groups and unless we’re willing to go it alone – work alone, live alone, be alone (which is sometimes tempting, but comes with its own costs) – we’re going to cross paths with those we would rather cross out.

With any discussion of toxic people, it’s important to understand that you can’t change anybody, so it’s best to stop trying. Save your energy for something easier, like world peace. Or landing on a star. The thing is though, when you do something differently, things can’t help but change for you. If it’s not the people in your radar, it will be their impact on you.

[bctt tweet=”Personal power is everything to do with what you believe – and nothing to do with what they think.”]

Co-existing with toxics means going around them to set your own rules, then accepting that you don’t need them to respect those rules to claim your power. Here are some powerful, practical ways to do that:

  1. Be empowered by your motives.

    Sometimes toxic people will trap you like a hunted thing – you know you don’t have to give in to them but you also know that there will be consequences if you don’t. The secret is to make your decision from a position of power, rather than feeling controlled. In the same way there is something they want from you, there will always be something you want from them (even if it is to avoid more of their toxicity). Decide that you’re doing what you’re doing to control them and their behaviour – not because you’re a victim of their manipulation. Personal power is everything to do with what you believe and nothing to do with what they think.

  2. Understand why they’re seeing what they see in you.

    Toxic people will always see in others what they don’t want to acknowledge about themselves. It’s called projection. You could be the kindest, most generous, hardest working person on the planet and toxic people will turn themselves inside out trying to convince you that you’re a liar, unfair, nasty or a slacker. See it for what it is. You know the truth, even if they never will.

  3. They might get worse before they leave you alone.

    Think of it like this. Take a little human who is throwing a tantrum. When you stand strong and don’t give in, they’ll go harder for a while. We all have a tendency to do that – when something we’re doing stops working, we’ll do it more before we stop. Toxic people are no different. If they’ve found a way to control and manipulate you and it stops working, they’ll do more of whatever used to work before they back off and find themselves another target. Don’t take their escalation as a stop sign. Take it as a sign that what you’re doing is teaching them that they’re old behaviour won’t work anymore. Keep going and give them time to be convinced that you’re not going around on that decision you’ve made to shut them down.

    [irp posts=”1086″ name=”Teaching Kids How To Set & Protect Their Boundaries (And Keep Toxic People Out)”]

  4.  Be clear about your boundaries.

    You can’t please everyone, but toxic people will have you believing that you can’t please anyone – so you try harder, work harder, compromise more. It’s exhausting. Toxic people will have your boundary torn down and buried before you even realise you had one there. By knowing exactly what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t – and why – you can decide how far you’re willing to let someone encroach on your boundaries before it’s just not worth it any more.  Be ready to listen to that voice inside you that lets you know when something isn’t right. It’s powerful and rarely wrong (if ever). Whether someone else thinks it’s right or wrong doesn’t matter. What matters is whether it’s right or wrong for you. Let that guide your response and when you can, who’s in and who’s out.

  5. You don’t have to help them through every crisis.

    The reason that toxic people are often in crisis is because they are masterful at creating them. It’s what they do – draw breath and create drama. You’ll be called on at any sign of a crisis for sympathy, attention and support, but you don’t have to run to their side. Teach them that you won’t be a part of the pity party by being unemotional, inattentive, and indifferent to the crisis. Don’t ask questions and don’t offer help. It might feel bad because it’s not your normal way, but remember that you’re not dealing with a normal person.

  6. You don’t need to explain.

    No is a complete sentence and one of the most powerful words in any language. You don’t need to explain, justify or make excuses. ‘No’ is the guardian at your front gate that makes sure the contamination from toxic people doesn’t get through to you. 

  7. Don’t judge.

    Be understanding, compassionate, kind and respectful – but be all of them to yourself first. You can reject behaviour, requests and people without turning yourself into someone you wouldn’t like to be with. Strength and compassion can exist beautifully together at the edge of your boundaries. It will be always easier to feel okay about putting up a boundary if you haven’t hurt someone else in the process.

  8. Own your strengths and your weaknesses.

    We are all a messy, beautiful, brilliant work in progress. Once you are aware of your flaws, nobody can use them against you. Toxic people will work hard to play up your flaws and play down your strengths – it’s how they get their power. If you’re able to own your strengths and weaknesses, what they think won’t matter – because you’ll know that your strengths are more than enough to make your flaws not matter, or at the very least, to make them yesterday’s news.

    [irp posts=”793″ name=”Toxic People: 12 Things They Do and How to Deal with Them”]

     

  9. Don’t expect change.

    You can’t reason with toxic people – you just can’t. That’s one of the things that makes them toxic. Decide where you stand, and then stand strong. You don’t need to do any more than that. They will try to make you bend, flex and break at the seams. Because you have an open heart, the thought that someone might misunderstand you, disapprove of you or dislike you might get to you, but remember that you’re not dealing with someone who is motivated by what’s good for you or your relationship. It’s always about them and it always will be. Decide that sometimes you’re going to make it about you. It’s what you deserve.

  10. Choose your battles wisely.

    Dealing with toxic people takes an enormous amount of energy. You don’t have to step up to every battle you’re called to. For many toxic people, conflict is the only way they can connect. It’s the way they feel alive, noticed and important. Save your energy for the people who matter.

  11. Don’t be the victim.

    People can be a pity sometimes, but you’re not one of those. Decide that you won’t be anyone’s victim. Instead, be the one with the boundaries, the strength, the smarts and the power to make the decisions that will help you to thrive. Even if they’re decisions you’d rather not be making, own that it’s a move you’ve made to get what you want, rather than to bend to someone else’s will. You’re amazing, you’re strong and you’re powerful – which is why you’re nobody’s victim. Nobody’s.

  12. Focus on the solution rather than the problem.

    Toxic people will have you bending over backwards and tied with a barbed wire ribbon to keep you there. What will keep you stuck is playing over and over in your head the vastness of their screwed up behaviour. It will keep you angry, sad and disempowered. If you have to make a decision that you’d rather not make, focus on the mess that’s it’s cleaning up, not the person who is making your life hell. Don’t focus on their negative behaviour – there’s just too much there to focus on and it will never make sense to you anyway.

  13. Surround yourself with people who will give as much as you do.

    You might not have as much freedom in certain parts of your life to decide who’s in and who’s out but when it comes to the ones you open your heart to, you absolutely have the choice. Choose wisely and don’t be afraid to let them know what they mean to you. 

  14. Forgive – but don’t forget.

    Forgiveness is about letting go of expecting things to be different. You’ll never be able to control the past but you can control how much power it has to impact your future. Forgiveness doesn’t mean accepting the behaviour or approving of it – it means that you’re not going to be controlled by it any more. It’s something done in strength and with an abundance of self-love. Don’t forget the way people treat you – for better or worse – and use that to help you live with clarity and resolve.

    [irp posts=”1021″ name=”The Rules for Being Human”]

     

  15. Understand the cycle.

    There is a pattern many toxic people follow. First they’re charming. This is when they’ll get you. They’ll be attentive, loving and impressive – but all of it will be to get you into position. Next, when they have your trust you’ll start to see the cracks. There will be mounting demands and a rising pull on your emotional resources. Then there will be the crisis – the test. You’ll feel stuck – whether or not you give them what they want, you’ll feel compromised. Finally, you’ll do what they want – because you don’t want to be ‘unreasonable’ or cause more drama – and then they’re back to charming you and giving you just enough of what you need to make you stay. The problem is that this never lasts for long and always comes at a cost. Be aware of the cycle and use it to build your boundaries on an even more solid foundation. If you can’t get out of the relationship, know that you’re not staying because you’ve allowed yourself to be fooled or blindsided, but because you have your eyes on something bigger that you need.

  16. You don’t need their approval. You really don’t.

    Don’t look for their approval or their appreciation – you won’t get it unless it comes with conditions, all of which will dampen you. You’ll constantly feel drained because they’ll draw on your open heart, your emotional generosity, your reasonableness, your compassion and your humanity – and they will give absolutely nothing back. Give what you need to, but don’t give any more than that in the hope of getting something back. There will never be any more than minimal, and even that will come with conditions. Whatever you do, know why you’re doing what you’re doing and make sure the reasons are good enough.

The world is full of people whose behaviour is breathtakingly damaging. That doesn’t mean that we have to open ourselves up to the damage. The secret to living well means living deliberately. Knowing the signs of toxic behaviour and responding deliberately and in full clarity to toxic people will reduce their impact and allow you to keep yourself whole and empowered – and you’ll always deserve that.

397 Comments

Mae

So sorry these things happen to kind people but toxic people take advantage of easy trustful people and usually only care about themselves and what they need they don’t care if you have shoes or food and are getting smarter more better at it. L sometimes they appear as angels at first but are devils in sheep clothing! I found out listen to your BB heart something is wrong don’t wait till it happens say something and don’t ignore or put up with these lieing hurtful people to hurt you more , make up excuses like headache, feel sick and don’t go around th when you have a bad feeling. Sometimes other women who seeem to be nice are the toxic ones who make you seem CB like the vilivan and the are!! Even fooling their husbands and friends and in laws!! That is why I don’t believe what people say about others !! If they are c nice to me I will be nice but please tell me snyway I will be more careful and it could save me from being hurt!! Family can be the most cruel when it comes to inheritance, land money do not trust anyone!! Be sure and you will feel better listen to your wife husband !! If someone asks you to sign a paper something is not yours or never was Do not sign any paper about land oil leases it is a trick!! If you need to sign not yours to a lawyer that means it is yours!! A trick must people don’t realize the lawyer is working for their lieing greedy client not Youyou!! And when diving up property be ther when server diving up property land, etc they will do what a greedy person wants so be there to make sure is fair and never allow a sibling or relative to be only executor over will most when they become executor can steal all the money!! And get away with it!!
Need to have 2 or more to watch everything is fair when one siblings says I will handle the affairs don’t trust that greedy person most likely. And even after all that the family in-laws can still try to break up marriages tell lies to try and be nice to one party and turn husbands CB or CB wives against each other to get your land house. And the will usually be too nice to the one who they think they can turn against you! And give you gifts to encourage you to believe them.

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Sharon o

I am working at this demons house she is so toxic it’s making me sick sick your articles have help me so much!!! I still want to do body damage but I won’t thank you. Sharon

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Jennifer

My daughter is in a toxic relationship that has ruined our household as he is staying with us. She has gone from a loving happy well groomed girl to a fat uncepet person that is always tired and not willing to talk. I am a stranger in my own house due to him with no friends or family visiting because he has burned all form of decency and respect towards any one. He listens to my conversations then twists it around and jab my daughter to the point that I am told to please be in my room when they or he wants to be in the kitchen or bathroom so he does not have to face me, in the meantime I am footing all the bills in the house and I live of a pension and he works for himself and earns well. Cannot deal with this anymore.But thankyou I now understand him.

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Jens

Oh my… both need to get evicted, immediately. As in yesterday. Things will only worsen. It is YOUR home… not theirs. What is with all the ungrateful, disrespectful people these days?

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Glory

How do you deal with a man who always ‘run’ to his mother whenever you have misunderstandings? You warned him but he can’t change.whatever you say whether good or bad he must tell her.he’s over 40.

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Shanno G

I am in a very toxic family right now since I was born. There’s not a day that my mother and father wouldn’t fight. I also think that my father has mental issues just because of the way he reasons out and ofcourse from his background his family was always war. In our country even if you’re 19 years old you can’t be fully independent if you don’t finish your studies. Even if I wanted to get away from them I can’t do anything. I have nowhere else to go. I feel like this family is slowly making me crazy I am very worried ABOUT my brother. I really hope someone will help me.

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Lillian

Wow Jennifer, ????
I didn’t know that anyone is going through similar events. It’s my sister, whom I love but now despise her presence in my space. Why, because she is very vulgar when speaking to me, do not help , playing the “ghosting” game of silence from sunrise to sunset. Just a 48 year old with her face buried towards social media screen, can’t ask anything, now I’m hiding in a closed room in my apartment, to get away from the stress. The pandemic has put me into a whirlwind of financial distress, but I have to share food, take the trash out alone, clean alone, and deal with eviction cause I’m still waiting on state funds. Dear God, help us in this decrepit life.

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Jaqueline d

Hey guys!sometimes being with some family members is really discouraging,am passing through psychological torture ,my family members are giving me a hard time.i lost my precious dad some few months ago and since then everything has changed ,my external family members,keeps on bringing up different stories up about me.i have an aunt who has been pretending that she loves me whereas she says terrible and annoying lies about me,am confuse right now I have thoughts of killing myself ,I hate my family members I feel like they hate me and I don’t like them either,I pray I make it in life and prove to them that am not worthless

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Tina

The shift I think I has to change within you and how you view yourself. I know this because I have suffered and struggled with the exact same problem my whole life. I have been in the exact same shoes as you and I still deal with it, the only thing that changed is how I allow these people to make me feel now… I don’t. I couldn’t understand why I felt so worthless when all I do is kind and caring things. The problem was that I constantly seek validation from toxic selfish family members that benefited more from putting me down so I could feel low enough about myself to want to please them 24/7. That was the problem. As the kind logical person that you are, you simply can’t expect these toxic people to see how much you are worth .. because the truth is they most definitely already do. which is why they feel so threatened by you that they can’t ever compliment you, they have to put you down to feel better about their horrible selves and so you won’t think as horribly about THEM. YOU CAN’T LET THEM WIN. I have strived to prove to my family my entire life when all they have done is talk bad about me. Even with my many successes and accomplishments that far exceeded theirs, I never got the validation I desperately craved. I’m realizing that I never will and now I simply don’t care for it because they are toxic people and it’s just not in them. Please do not harm yourself in the hopes that they will finally care for you because then they win, when they shouldn’t. We can’t let toxic manipulative family members win, it’s simply not fair to you or society. PLEASE stay strong and find your worth from within. Seek good people in your life and surround yourself with people that don’t find you a threat and see your worth already, without you having to convince them.

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John B

Dear Jacqueline d,
Never think that you are worthless. Also, you have absolutely nothing to prove to any of your family. I spent a decade dealing with two toxic “friends” who put me down and belittled me constantly. It is hard dealing with that. I finally came to realize that I don’t owe them anything. Don’t let your toxic family make you a victim. It will be hard because you have spent your entire life being involved with them but you need to remove them from your life. Focus on yourself. This is a rough time for you – you just lost your Dad. You need time to process this. If you aren’t living at home, don’t visit the relatives you don’t like. If you are living at home, try to avoid the ones who put you down.
Always remember, you are worthwhile. People are putting you down in order to make themselves feel better – they aren’t worth the time to worry about. You don’t have to fix their lives and you are responsible for your own mental health first.

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Italo

Dear you are special. I hope you find inner peace and love and find a way to enjoy your life and not let those petty people get to you.

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G man

I pray for you too, friend! Keep up the good work you are strong and completely whole just as you are

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Gigi

MY fiancé and I just got done fighting about what my sister in-law did to me a year ago. She was getting married and she didn’t want me to come to her wedding because she didn’t want a “stranger” to her wedding although her brother and I have been living together. She lied to me saying they were only inviting immediate families and no friends. My fiancé didn’t want to go but I forced him to go because he told me deep down he wanted to go hurt so he won’t be bombarded by guilt his sisters would throw at him in the future. So he went. When he got there, he saw lotsss of empty seats and children and friends of the groom. He was livid! He was grumpy the entire time and the sister made a comment about why show up if you’re going to be grumpy. Anyways, here we are 2020 and my fiancé still communicate with them knowing it hurts my feelings. It makes me angry because she never apologize because according to her she was not in the wrong. And everyone we ask, they always say that was the nastiest thing to do. And they won’t even do that to a co-worker or a stranger even. My question is, should I stop expecting an apology and move on, even when my fiancé is now going back to normalcy with his relationship with her? How can I ignore that fact that every time he does this, it’s an insult and a slap on my face? Please help.

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Tracy R

I feel your pain, girl. Have been dealing with a similar situation with my sis in law. I have been married to my husband 38years this year. He has 3 sisters. 2 of which are loves. The 3rd however, has been hateful from the start. I have watched her (and been part of) her mistreatment of others for all of that time. And everyone else just wants to excuse her hurtful behavior (that’s just how she is) and because of this. She continues to behave badly, knowing she will face no retribution. Just gets her way. Bc no one wants to cause more drama. Finally after her latest “stunt”, we have cut them out of our lives deciding our relationship is more important than her own obvious issues, which are not going to change. It is difficult in our family setting as we do not want this issue to effect our relationships with the rest of the family. It’s sad, really. After almost 40 years its been like a death to me really and I’ve been grieving for the relationship I THOUGHT we had built with each other, albeit having been difficult and strained throughout the years. Think carefully about marrying into a family with this kind of relationship, because it will not change, and you may find yourself with little or no support from other family members. You will need to fortify yourself and protect your mental health, as your fiance seems to not want to “man up” and let his sister know, in no uncertain terms that her treatment of you is UNACCEPTABLE, and as your love partner, he will not tolerate it, now OR IN THE FUTURE. Nip it in the bud now, so it will not become an ongoing problem. Just know you are not alone and others really DO face these issues, as well. Good luck to you.

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Joy

Hi Jacqueline, I am sorry to hear your story, my situation has been similar for many years. I am only now understanding that my family may choose to judge me, but that is because they don’t know me and will never take the time to actually get to know me. It is ok to have your own life. It may take time for you to be strong enough for their judgement not to hurt you, but remind yourself of all your good qualities and spend less time in contact with them if communicating with them upsets you. Set good boundaries with them, its ok to say no, not to take their call, not to visit, or tell them you would rather not talk about whatever it is they bring up that upsets you. Keep reminding yourself you are good and meet people that have nothing to do with them so you can have new conversations and interests. You deserve a life and life to the full. You don’t have to prove anything to them – just be yourself, live your life, and distance yourself from them if they upset you. Hope this helps a little.

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Carol

Well said. I’m practicing what you said about trying to set new boundaries and it’s ok to not take their calls, etc. In my case I’m not allowing text messages or emails to come thru.

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JJ

Great article…succinct and supportive. I’m over 65 dealing with a clingy older sister that’s really angry about life…and so am I (very dysfunctional childhood with a lot of loss, molestation and weekly abuses). My input here is to say that this junk can follow you straight to your deathbed unless you decide to proactively wrangle these ‘monsters’ (memories, toxic relationships that you think you can control, etc) to a place where you FEEL the separation from these individuals. Every little separation has a sensation of freedom that’s very is refreshing…and you won’t miss it. Also, every little step you take (per the suggestions in the article, as they happen for you) is a step toward that freedom. Family dysfunction runs very deep in emotions and over past decades, so give it time; it will NOT be something you can do in a short period of time.

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carol

Hi JJ, your story sounds like mine. Grew up with childhood molestation, and lots of family dysfunction that has lingered for years. I’m dealing with a very damaged and toxic sister who also drinks more than she should; which triggers her toxic behavior. She’s 61. I’m trying to cut off the communication with her, hopefully to redraw boundaries, but I know now the only way to do this, is to cut off communication for months, if not a couple of years. It’s really hard to explain the behavior of a toxic personality, but sounds like you know it well. But I agree, all you can do is walk away from a toxic person. They don’t ever change.

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Joy

Good points. Just one more very important standalone point I would like to add as a last resort :

There would be situations when the wisest thing to do is to cut them (& all the toxicity they bring) off completely from your life – if after much attempts of making peace, you still find yourself so obsessed by their drama to a point that it affects your own mental and physical health. Stop the abuse.

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Dr. Gayathri

This article is so wonderful and the one who came with this must be more amazing. I had very toxic mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I got so much wounded because of them. It was all for 3 months and it did not last for long because I shifted away from them and stopped any contact though my husband would regularly visit them and take care of the things he need to. I made sure I would never go back to them. I was being so kind inspite of there cruel deeds I went so low to try to make my marriage work with my in laws and family, all I thought was about my husband’s family and future and when I learnt that they do not even love their son that is my husband they wish him negative things I decided there is nothing for me to deal with this family. I understood they will never change because nothing about them was true its complete drama and they are faking their full life. So I left the place for good though I am not completely healed I feed proud of myself for taking a strong decision about leaving that home and letting those toxic beings out of life.

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During adolescence, our teens are more likely to pay attention to the positives of a situation over the negatives. This can be a great thing. The courage that comes from this will help them try new things, explore their independence, and learn the things they need to learn to be happy, healthy adults. But it can also land them in bucketloads of trouble. 

Here’s the thing. Our teens don’t want to do the wrong thing and they don’t want to go behind our backs, but they also don’t want to be controlled by us, or have any sense that we might be stifling their way towards independence. The cold truth of it all is that if they want something badly enough, and if they feel as though we are intruding or that we are making arbitrary decisions just because we can, or that we don’t get how important something is to them, they have the will, the smarts and the means to do it with or without or approval. 

So what do we do? Of course we don’t want to say ‘yes’ to everything, so our job becomes one of influence over control. To keep them as safe as we can, rather than saying ‘no’ (which they might ignore anyway) we want to engage their prefrontal cortex (thinking brain) so they can be more considered in their decision making. 

Our teens are very capable of making good decisions, but because the rational, logical, thinking prefrontal cortex won’t be fully online until their 20s (closer to 30 in boys), we need to wake it up and bring it to the decision party whenever we can. 

Do this by first softening the landing:
‘I can see how important this is for you. You really want to be with your friends. I absolutely get that.’
Then, gently bring that thinking brain to the table:
‘It sounds as though there’s so much to love in this for you. I don’t want to get in your way but I need to know you’ve thought about the risks and planned for them. What are some things that could go wrong?’
Then, we really make the prefrontal cortex kick up a gear by engaging its problem solving capacities:
‘What’s the plan if that happens.’
Remember, during adolescence we switch from managers to consultants. Assume a leadership presence, but in a way that is warm, loving, and collaborative.♥️
Big feelings and big behaviour are a call for us to come closer. They won’t always feel like that, but they are. Not ‘closer’ in an intrusive ‘I need you to stop this’ way, but closer in a ‘I’ve got you, I can handle all of you’ kind of way - no judgement, no need for you to be different - I’m just going to make space for this feeling to find its way through. 

Our kids and teens are no different to us. When we have feelings that fill us to overloaded, the last thing we need is someone telling us that it’s not the way to behave, or to calm down, or that we’re unbearable when we’re like this. Nup. What we need, and what they need, is a safe place to find our out breath, to let the energy connected to that feeling move through us and out of us so we can rest. 
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But how? First, don’t take big feelings personally. They aren’t a reflection on you, your parenting, or your child. Big feelings have wisdom contained in them about what’s needed more, or less, or what feels intolerable right now. Sometimes it might be as basic as a sleep or food. Maybe more power, influence, independence, or connection with you. Maybe there’s too much stress and it’s hitting their ceiling and ricocheting off their edges. Like all wisdom, it doesn’t always find a gentle way through. That’s okay, that will come. Our kids can’t learn to manage big feelings, or respect the wisdom embodied in those big feelings if they don’t have experience with big feelings. 
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We also need to make sure we are responding to them in the moment, not a fear or an inherited ‘should’ of our own. These are the messages we swallowed whole at some point - ‘happy kids should never get sad or angry’, ‘kids should always behave,’ ‘I should be able to protect my kids from feeling bad,’ ‘big feelings are bad feelings’, ‘bad behaviour means bad kids, which means bad parents.’ All these shoulds are feisty show ponies that assume more ‘rightness’ than they deserve. They are usually historic, and when we really examine them, they’re also irrelevant.
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Finally, try not to let the symptoms of big feelings disrupt the connection. Then, when calm comes, we will have the influence we need for the conversations that matter.
"Be patient. We don’t know what we want to do or who we want to be. That feels really bad sometimes. Just keep reminding us that it’s okay that we don’t have it all figured out yet, and maybe remind yourself sometimes too."
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 #parentingteens #neurodevelopment #positiveparenting #parenting #neuronurtured #braindevelopment #adolescence  #neurodevelopment #parentingteens
Would you be more likely to take advice from someone who listened to you first, or someone who insisted they knew best and worked hard to convince you? Our teens are just like us. If we want them to consider our advice and be open to our influence, making sure they feel heard is so important. Being right doesn't count for much at all if we aren't being heard.
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Hear what they think, what they want, why they think they're right, and why it’s important to them. Sometimes we'll want to change our mind, and sometimes we'll want to stand firm. When they feel fully heard, it’s more likely that they’ll be able to trust that our decisions or advice are given fully informed and with all of their needs considered. And we all need that.
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 #positiveparenting #parenting #parenthood #neuronurtured #childdevelopment #adolescence 
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"We’re pretty sure that when you say no to something it’s because you don’t understand why it’s so important to us. Of course you’ll need to say 'no' sometimes, and if you do, let us know that you understand the importance of whatever it is we’re asking for. It will make your ‘no’ much easier to accept. We need to know that you get it. Listen to what we have to say and ask questions to understand, not to prove us wrong. We’re not trying to control you or manipulate you. Some things might not seem important to you but if we’re asking, they’re really important to us.❤️" 
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#neurodevelopment #neuronurtured #childdevelopment #parenting #positiveparenting #mindfulparenting

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