Where the Science of Psychology Meets the Art of Being Human

Life After Depression: How to Thrive – What Helps. What Gets in the Way


Life After Depression: How to Thrive - What Helps. What Gets in the Way

Depression keeps itself alive with an intense, overwhelming sense of hopelessness. This hopelessness kills the motivation to reach into the world for support, something that is already fragile because of the stigma that is so often attached to mental illness.

New research, published in the journal Psychiatry Research, offers a reason for hope. There is life after depression – a strong, healthy, happy life – and the research has found the factors that will help to make this possible and those that will get in the way.

In a study involving more than 2,500 people who had experienced a major depressive disorder at some time in their lives, researchers found that about two in five people (39%) were able to fully recover and experience full mental health. The researchers defined full mental health as:

  • experiencing happiness or life satisfaction almost every day for the last month;
  • a full year without depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts or substance abuse; and
  • positive social and psychological well-being. 

The research revealed important findings about what helped, what hindered and what had no bearing at all on the likelihood of thriving after depression.

Life After Depression. How to Thrive

What makes the difference.

The research found that social support played a major role in achieving full mental health after depression.  Having at least one trusted friend quadrupled the likelihood of a full recovery.

Sometimes depression can make people feel as though they are just out of reach and loving someone with depression can be lonely, frustrating, painful and deeply worrying. If you’re close to someone with depression, you might feel as though you’re not making a difference, but that’s what depression does – it’s the dirty little liar that tries to pull the fight out of all of us – those who have the illness and those who care who would do anything to make it better for them. What this research is telling us is that being there, as a trusted friend, has the power to make an enormous difference in helping your loved one find the way out of depression. 

Formerly depressed adults who had emotionally supportive and close relationships were four times more likely to report complete mental health than those without such relationships. Having at least one trust friend was critical to cultivating complete mental health.” Mercedes Bern-Klug, Associate Professor, University of Iowa.

The research also found that hose who fully recovered from depression were more likely to deal with stress through exercise or spirituality.

There is so much research showing the remarkable capacity of exercise to reduce the symptoms of depression. Exercise restores the levels of two important neurotransmitters, glutamate and GABA, to healthy levels. It also seems to have a healing effect on the damage done by inflammation. Increasingly, research is finding that systemic inflammation is a major contributing factor to depression. Regularly exercising for periods between 8-20 minutes seems to be enough to make the difference.

The surprising factor that makes no difference at all. 

The length of time someone has been struggling with depression makes no difference to their ability to reach full mental health. According to the research, people who had experienced depression for over two years were just as able to fully recover and flourish in their lives after depression, as those who had the illness for only a month. 

What gets in the way of recovery.

The research also found a number of factors that seemed to undermine the likelihood of achieving full mental health after depression. These included poor physical health, chronic pain, insomnia, and a history of substance abuse.

The take-aways.

One of the reasons that depression is so debilitating is because the core symptoms of depression make it hard to reach out for support or to keep up the for the way out. When they combine forces, lethargy, sadness, emptiness, and intense feelings of hopelessness put up a mighty push against even the strongest, bravest and most determined human spirit. The social isolation and stillness that comes from this feeds depression and makes recovery even harder, but where social isolation hurts, social connection heals.

This research gives hope and encouragement to keep up the fight. Many people who experience depression will fully recover. Many others will find some level of relief from their symptoms. There is no quick fix for depression, but there is great hope for healing. The fight is worth it – the capacity to flourish in life after depression is there.

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I’d be interested in hearing how people cope with a depressed spouse who is self absorbed even when well, won’t talk about his depression yet expects support and cannot show any empathy in return.
More focus should also be attached to those who care for, or live with, someone with depression as their stories are untold. Carers are very likely to get depressed themselves.

Hey Sigmund

Anita your stories are untold – I absolutely agree with you. Depression never only affects one life. Loving someone with depression can be such a lonely thing. This it what depression does – it isolates people. I know there would be so many others who would relate to what you are going through. We desperately need a cure for this don’t we. Know that there is a lot of research happening in the area so hopefully they aren’t too far off.


The carer also needs a friend and supporter away from the main depressed person.


Gosh, I was so relieved to read this. My spouse is exactly like this. It’s exhausting. Also if I’m going through a bit of stress, he is doubly stressed and I’ve learned to be pretty emotionally self-sufficiet and keep my emotions contained as much as I can. Thankfully I’ve got wonderful friends to support me.

Jenny Bohner

That is spot on! There is a support group called ARAFEMI in Australia to help carers of depressed people. They will send you some literature if you request it. Unfortunately, depression does seem to cause the person to become self-absorbed, and it can actually be quite helpful for the person to do some volunteer work. Being helpful seems to make them less depressed. Good luck to you.


Hi Anita. What you described about depressed spouse is exactly what I am going through right now with my husband. He shows no emphaty and shuts down totally. I am very lost and in depression. I can’t find my way out.


To add to the above, with which I agree, children of those suffering depression are vitally in need of understanding, compassion and support.


how do i deal with the constant thoughts of taking my own life, when my medication isnt helping me any. in fact im afraid its making me worse. i feel like my only support is my girlfriend, but shes in a different state and i currently have no way of communicating with her other than through letters. i just constantly think about ways to end my life and im tired of crying everynight and having these episodes of rage or complete sadness. i just want to get better but its been 5 years and ive just been getting worse. any advice please? at this point anything would help.

Karen - Hey Sigmund

Tori please please please go back to your doctor. Antidepressants can take a little while to work, but if you’ve been on them for a while (longer than six weeks), or if you feel as though they are making you feel worse, it might be that these are the right ones for you. There are plenty of other options though in terms of medication. Your doctor will be able to help you with this. Also, read this article. There are other things that can help. Mindfulness and exercise done together can reduce symptoms by up to 40%. This is because of the way they change the brain and help to protect it against depression. There is a lot of really reliable, strong research that has found that mindfulness and exercise can really help with depression but when they are done together, they can be powerful. Here is an article that explains it. https://www.heysigmund.com/dealing-with-depression-meditation-exercise/.

It’s really important to keep in your mind that one of the symptoms of depression is feelings of hopelessness. What this means is that your feelings of hopelessness aren’t because things are hopeless, but because that’s what your depression is telling you right now. Things won’t always be like this. I know how awful and debilitating depression can be but it really can be managed. Please talk to your doctor and read the article I have linked to in this comment. You won’t feel like exercising or meditation but it can really make a difference. Exercise can just be a 30 minute walk outside. For the meditation part, there are plenty of apps that can help you but one that I like is the Smiling Mind app. You can download it for free here https://smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app/. Do this two things and give it at least for weeks. If in the meantime you feel as though you are really struggling and thinking about suicide, please call one of the numbers here. I can’t tell which country you are from, but wherever you are there will be somewhere you can get 24 hour support https://www.heysigmund.com/about/if-you-need-more-support/.

You will get through this. Keep fighting for you – one day, I promise, you will look back and be so grateful that you did. Love and strength to you.


I got depression when i was in 9th grade now i have passed 12th …but being from a less aware family about mental ilness i didn’t get the well medication..any how i passed my 10th and for further study i went to a city where i started my medication after a log hardship as people started thinking that its not a illness but just my thoughts…but anyhow i started but it didn’t help me muc.then i came to Delhi as i am currently living here and started my medication in aiims ..as i am improving day by day but i think each day is still harder..iys my 5th months of treatment , everyday there is a trauma ,sadness,lonliness, hopelessness..i am unable to concentrate on my studies…plz give me suggestions what to do now..and yes i have not told anyone even my parents don’t know i am depressed and having medication

Karen Young

Zeeshaan I wish you could know how many people have depression and would absolutely understand what you are going through. Depression is so common and there is absolutely no shame in it at all. It is a physiological condition, and although we aren’t really sure exactly what causes it, it is likely to be a combination of factors that could happen to anybody. Perhaps the most important things you can do to help your recovery are exercise, meditation and sleep. There are many articles on this link about the things that can help. Please take your time to look through them and see what feels right for you https://www.heysigmund.com/category/being-human/depression/. If you are taking your medication, it’s important that you continue to do so under the supervision of your doctor. I also want you to know that you can get through this. Your are brave, strong and resilient – you’ve proven that. Hang in there and keep fighting for you.


I’m fighting depression for years ,l was bullied in a factory years ago.l live in the past all the time .lm trying to feel well but it is hard.

say so

I have have had supersized depression for decades probably 30 years or so. Mostly cane about through abusive family.
What has really helped me was to deal with my abusers. The in usual thing was that my abusers were close members meaning family starting with mother. I had to bite the bullet and deal with these people. My mother was always to threatening to curse me so I asked her to do it and basically cut her out of my life. I did not even attend her burial. My damaged brothers and sisters were too damaged for my mental health. So again it was painful to kick them out of my life. They have continued to struggle to continue abuse but I have got better and better.
I almost feel cured.
The point is I dealt seriously and aggressively with the sources of my mental illnessness.
It was not easy. These were family.
The collateral damage was massive.
But my mental health comes first. I am glad I took the hard road. I am glad I am now healed.

Phil Hamilton

As someone who almost died from depression 30+ years ago, I appreciate your informing the public in this article.

Instead of saying a variation of “A study has shown” or “Research has found”, I wish you had cited the research you referred to in a number of places. The Internet is packed with information, some of it reliable and some of it not. Citing the studies would let your readers check out the research.

Thanks again for publicizing a topic that some people still feel afraid to talk about.

Karen Young

Hi Phil – the original research article is hyperlinked to the name of the journal in the second paragraph. Just look for the blue writing and it will take you to the original research papers. All the ‘research’ in that articles refers to this study unless it is otherwise mentioned or hyperlinked. Hope that helps.


Anone else have that feeling like you don’t know what to do with your everyday life because when I had depression my life was all bout trama or thinking about it day and night now I barley know myself…And if you think about it it’s kinda sad I gotta take pills to be happy but at least I’m not in deep thought each day I guess but still don’t feel as normal


Completely agree with you. I’ve lost my whole personality and everyday is a struggle even with medication. I’m just hanging on to that one day when it’s over, keep fighting. There are lots of people struggling, communicate with others.

Nasim k

Hello friends in 9 th standard I got depressed now I am in class 12 I was struggling from anxiety but now I am full mentally fit full physically fit and 😉have lot of friends. Socially fit I have 2 year of medical treatment. But i cannot fully fit .so I started friendly life and forget the all past. I saw in month that I am changing .i believe in god very much. Now I am fully fit and enjoy every moment.


The best way to deal with depression is cutting all ties with everyone who knows you, except one or two you are completely comfortable with. And, then, meeting new people and making a new circle. Getting yourself occupied with new things like fitness, travel, healthy food. And, then, never give up on those things. This is what worked for me.


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