Welcome to The Rooftop

Teens, this is a place for you to settle in. Adolescence is a time of discovery, experimentation, and experiencing the world with new eyes and new courage. The world can’t be brilliant without you! Shine on! – How to become the vibrant, healthy, extraordinary adult you’re capable of being. Some of the things we cover include ways to build courage, resilience, confidence, self-esteem.

  • Being Human (and feeling the feels) – Building social and emotional intelligence, feelings and how to make them work in ways that nourish you.
  • Anxiety – What it is, why it feels the way it does, how to stop it getting in your way.
  • With Others – Friendships, peer pressure, how to shine, how to talk so others will listen, how to have difficult conversations, how to build friendships that work, how to set and protect your boundaries.
  • When People are a Pity – Bullying, frenemies, how to deal with friendships or relationships that feel bad, how to protect yourself from bullies or disrespect. 
  • Some Grown-Upish Conversation – No preaching, no lecturing – just a chat about the important things that can sometimes be tough to talk about.
You, Fabulous You

Building confidence, self-esteem, courage, and everything else that can make you even more fabulous than you already are.

Being Human

The feels – all the human feels. Managing the feels that feel bad, and building the ones that make you feel like a rock star.

How to manage and thrive through that flighty, racey, worrying feeling – because who doesn’t get anxiety!?

With Others

Relationships and building your tribe, your presence, and your connection with friends, family, the ones who don’t know you yet, social media.

Some Grown Up-ish Conversation

The answers to the questions you weren’t sure how to ask – addiction, alcohol, relationships, drugs and more.

When People Are A Pity

Dealing with bullies, frenemies, peer pressure, and the people who make life tougher than it needs to be.

Real Questions Answered

The info you want to know about … anything. Whether it’s because you’re curious, or because you’re dealing with something tough, if there’s something you’re wondering about, ask it here. The world feels a little kinder and a little easier when we share our ‘stuff’.

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When our kids or teens are struggling, it can be hard to know what they need. It can also be hard ...

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Oct 14

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When our kids or teens are struggling, it can be hard to know what they need. It can also be hard for them to say. It can be this way for all of us - we don't always know what we need from the people around us. It might be space, or distraction, or silence, or maybe acknowledging and being there is enough. Sometimes we might need to know that the people we love aren't taking our need for space, or our confusion or anger or sadness personally, and that they are still there within reach. ⠀⠀ What can be easier is thinking about what other people might need. Asking this when they are calm can invite a different perspective and can give you some insight into what they need to hear when they are going through similar. Don't worry if you just get a shrug, or a disheartened, 'I don't know'. They don't need to know, and neither do we. The question in itself might be enough to open a new way through any sense of 'stuckness' or helplessness they might be feeling. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #parenthood #parenting #positiveparenting #parentingtips #childdevelopment #parentingadvice #parentingtip #mindfulparenting #positiveparentingtips #neurodevelopment #parentingteens

karenyoung_heysigmund

Give them space to talk but you don’t need to fix anything. You’ll want to, but the answers are ...

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Oct 11

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Give them space to talk but you don’t need to fix anything. You’ll want to, but the answers are in them, not us. Sometimes the answer will be to feel it out, or push for change, or feel the futility of it all so the feeling can let go, knowing it’s done it’s job - it’s recruited support, or raised awareness that something isn’t right. Sometimes the feelings might be seismic but the words might be gone for a while. That’s okay too. Do they want to start with whatever words are there? Or talk about something else? Or go for a walk with you? Watch a movie with you? Or do a spontaneous, unnecessary drive thru with you just because you can - no words, no need to explain - just you and them and car music for the next 20 minutes. The more you can validate what they’re feeling (maybe, ‘Today was big for you wasn’t it’) and give them space to feel, the more they can feel the feeling, understand the need that’s fuelling it, and experiment with ways to deal with it. Sometimes, ‘dealing with it’ might mean acknowledging that there is something that feels big or important and a little out of reach right now, and feeling the fullness and futility of that. Part of building resilience is recognising that some days are rubbish, and that sometimes those days last for longer than they should, but we get through. First we feel floored, then we feel stuck, then we shift because the only choices we have we have are to stay down or move, even when moving hurts. Then, eventually we adjust - either ourselves, the problem, or to a new ‘is’. But the learning comes from experience. I wish our kids never felt pain, but we don’t get to decide that. We don’t get to decide how our children grow, but we do get to decide how much space and support we give them for this growth. We can love them through it but we can’t love them out of it. I wish we could but we can’t. So instead of feeling the need to silence their pain, make space for it. In the end we have no choice. Sometimes all the love in the world won’t be enough to put the wrong things right, but it can help them feel held while they move through the pain enough to find their out breath, and the strength that comes with that.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Speaking to the courage that is coming to life inside them helps to bring it close enough for them ...

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Oct 6

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Speaking to the courage that is coming to life inside them helps to bring it close enough for them to touch, and to imagine, and to step into, even if doesn’t feel real for them yet. It will become them soon enough but until then, we can help them see what we see - a brave, strong, flight-ready child who just might not realise it yet. ‘I know how brave you are.’ ‘I love that you make hard decisions sometimes, even when it would be easier to do the other thing.’ ‘You might not feel brave, but I know what it means to you to be doing this. Trust me – you are one of the bravest people I know.’ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #neurodevelopment #positiveparenting #parenting #parenthood #neuronurtured #parentingtip #childdevelopment #braindevelopment #mindfulparenting #parentingtips #parentingadvice

karenyoung_heysigmund

So often, our children will look to us for signs of whether they are brave enough, strong enough, ...

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Oct 5

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So often, our children will look to us for signs of whether they are brave enough, strong enough, good enough. Let your belief in them be so big, that it spills out of you and over to them and forms the path between them and their mountain. And then, let them know that the outcome doesn't matter. What matters is that they believe in themselves enough to try. Their belief in themselves might take time to grow, and that's okay. In the meantime, let them know you believe in them enough for both of you. Try, ‘I know this feels big and I know you can do it. What is one small step you can take? I’m right here with you.’♥️ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #neurodevelopment #positiveparenting #parenting #parenthood #neuronurtured #parentingtip #childdevelopment #braindevelopment #mindfulparenting

karenyoung_heysigmund

Anxiety will tell our kiddos a deficiency story. It will focus them on what they can't do and ...

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Oct 4

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Anxiety will tell our kiddos a deficiency story. It will focus them on what they can't do and turn them away from what they can. We know they are braver, stronger, and more powerful than they could ever think they are. We know that for certain because we’ve seen it before. We’ve seen them so held by anxiety, and we’ve seen them move through - not every time but enough times to know that they can. Even when those steps through are small and awkward and uncertain, they are brave. Because that’s how courage works. It’s fragile and strong, uncertain and powerful. We know that that about courage and we know that about them. Our job as their important adults is to give them the experiences that will help them know it too. This doesn't have to happen in big leaps. Little steps are enough, as long as they are forward. When their anxiety has them focused on what they can't do, focus them on what they can. By doing this, we are aligning with their capacity for brave, and bringing it into the light. Anxiety will have them believing that there are only two options - all or nothing; to do or not to do. So let's introduce a third. Let's invite them into the grey. This is where brave, bold beautiful things are built, one tiny step at a time. So what does this look like? It looks like one tiny step at a time. The steps can be so small at first - it doesn't matter how big they are, as long as they are forward. If they can't stay for the whole of camp, how much can they stay for? If they can't do the whole swimming lesson on their own, how much can they do? If they can't sleep all night in their own bed, how long can they sleep there for? If they can't do the exam on their own, what can they do? . When we do this, we align with their brave, and gently help it rise, little bit, by little bit. We give them the experiences they need to know that even when they feel anxious, they can do brave, and even when they feel fragile they are powerful.

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