Welcome to The Rooftop

Teens, this is a place for you to settle in. Adolescence is a time of discovery, experimentation, and experiencing the world with new eyes and new courage. The world can’t be brilliant without you! Shine on! – How to become the vibrant, healthy, extraordinary adult you’re capable of being. Some of the things we cover include ways to build courage, resilience, confidence, self-esteem.

  • Being Human (and feeling the feels) – Building social and emotional intelligence, feelings and how to make them work in ways that nourish you.
  • Anxiety – What it is, why it feels the way it does, how to stop it getting in your way.
  • With Others – Friendships, peer pressure, how to shine, how to talk so others will listen, how to have difficult conversations, how to build friendships that work, how to set and protect your boundaries.
  • When People are a Pity – Bullying, frenemies, how to deal with friendships or relationships that feel bad, how to protect yourself from bullies or disrespect. 
  • Some Grown-Upish Conversation – No preaching, no lecturing – just a chat about the important things that can sometimes be tough to talk about.
You, Fabulous You

Building confidence, self-esteem, courage, and everything else that can make you even more fabulous than you already are.

Being Human

The feels – all the human feels. Managing the feels that feel bad, and building the ones that make you feel like a rock star.

How to manage and thrive through that flighty, racey, worrying feeling – because who doesn’t get anxiety!?

With Others

Relationships and building your tribe, your presence, and your connection with friends, family, the ones who don’t know you yet, social media.

Some Grown Up-ish Conversation

The answers to the questions you weren’t sure how to ask – addiction, alcohol, relationships, drugs and more.

When People Are A Pity

Dealing with bullies, frenemies, peer pressure, and the people who make life tougher than it needs to be.

Real Questions Answered

The info you want to know about … anything. Whether it’s because you’re curious, or because you’re dealing with something tough, if there’s something you’re wondering about, ask it here. The world feels a little kinder and a little easier when we share our ‘stuff’.

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karenyoung_heysigmund

We don’t need the last word. We don’t need them to agree.

When there is a power struggle - we want … they want … we’re trying to convince them … they’re trying to convince us … - leave power on the table. It’s already yours because you’re the grown-up. You don’t need to convince them, and nothing they can do or say (or don’t do or say) will change that.

The presence they are looking for is an anchor presence - love + leadership - strong, steady, grounded and able to care for them through the storm.

Anchors don’t stop working when the storm hits. During the storm, they work harder to hold on and keep things safe. They don’t take things personally and they don’t judge their performance on how well or how quickly they can stop the storm.

It doesn’t matter if our kiddos don’t see things our way. They’re looking through a different lens - one that can’t always see around corners the way we might be able to. They don’t have the same resources, experiences, or skills as us. Neither did we at their age.

We’re in charge of keeping them, others, and their relationship with us safe. They’re in charge of how they respond.

It’s why boundaries have to be about what we do - because it’s all we can control.

Sometimes an anchor presence means recognising that we can’t stop the storm, and we don’t need to.

When they don’t have the skills or resources to do what we would like them to do in the moment, we do what we can do to keep the moment safe, while letting them know we are here for them.

If they’re hurting a sibling, we move the sibling away, and stay in connection while we do. ‘It’s okay to be angry. I won’t let you hurt their body (while we’re physically moving their sibling - that’s the boundary). I’m right here (relationship).’

Or if they’re yelling: ‘I want to hear what you want. I care about you much to listen when you’re saying those things about me. (Boundary - I’m not listening.)

Or, ‘You might stay angry with me for a while and that’s okay. I’m here when you want to talk about it, but I won’t listen while you’re yelling at me. Take your time. You’re not in trouble.’♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 8

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18127616737453276
We don’t need the last word. We don’t need them to agree. When there is a power struggle - we want … they want … we’re trying to convince them … they’re trying to convince us … - leave power on the table. It’s already yours because you’re the grown-up. You don’t need to convince them, and nothing they can do or say (or don’t do or say) will change that. The presence they are looking for is an anchor presence - love + leadership - strong, steady, grounded and able to care for them through the storm. Anchors don’t stop working when the storm hits. During the storm, they work harder to hold on and keep things safe. They don’t take things personally and they don’t judge their performance on how well or how quickly they can stop the storm. It doesn’t matter if our kiddos don’t see things our way. They’re looking through a different lens - one that can’t always see around corners the way we might be able to. They don’t have the same resources, experiences, or skills as us. Neither did we at their age. We’re in charge of keeping them, others, and their relationship with us safe. They’re in charge of how they respond. It’s why boundaries have to be about what we do - because it’s all we can control. Sometimes an anchor presence means recognising that we can’t stop the storm, and we don’t need to. When they don’t have the skills or resources to do what we would like them to do in the moment, we do what we can do to keep the moment safe, while letting them know we are here for them. If they’re hurting a sibling, we move the sibling away, and stay in connection while we do. ‘It’s okay to be angry. I won’t let you hurt their body (while we’re physically moving their sibling - that’s the boundary). I’m right here (relationship).’ Or if they’re yelling: ‘I want to hear what you want. I care about you much to listen when you’re saying those things about me. (Boundary - I’m not listening.) Or, ‘You might stay angry with me for a while and that’s okay. I’m here when you want to talk about it, but I won’t listen while you’re yelling at me. Take your time. You’re not in trouble.’♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

Mattering is about feeling valued and feeling like I’m doing something that adds value. It doesn’t have to come from grades or schoolwork, and for so many kids it probably won’t. There are so many ways to help kids feel seen and valued that have nothing to do with schoolwork, but which can work to engage them in schoolwork. Little things make a big difference.

We also have to let our teachers know how much the matter. They are the greatest key to ‘mattering’ (or unmattering) in our schools and for our young people.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jul 2

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17952016169987182
Mattering is about feeling valued and feeling like I’m doing something that adds value. It doesn’t have to come from grades or schoolwork, and for so many kids it probably won’t. There are so many ways to help kids feel seen and valued that have nothing to do with schoolwork, but which can work to engage them in schoolwork. Little things make a big difference. We also have to let our teachers know how much the matter. They are the greatest key to ‘mattering’ (or unmattering) in our schools and for our young people.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

If we want to meet their learning needs, we first have to meet their relational ones. If we want them to be open to learning, they first have to open to the adult they are learning from - and they won’t be open if they don’t feel seen, safe, and cared for. It’s not always easy, it’s just how it is.♥️

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jun 29

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 18277572268274860
If we want to meet their learning needs, we first have to meet their relational ones. If we want them to be open to learning, they first have to open to the adult they are learning from - and they won’t be open if they don’t feel seen, safe, and cared for. It’s not always easy, it’s just how it is.♥️

karenyoung_heysigmund

You know what`s lovely? Aside from Sundays and sunshine? …
Sales. 

You know what`s even lovelier?
Sales that are 25% off books and resources designed to help kiddos feel bigger, braver, and calmer.

For a short time, we’re taking 25% off books, plushies, courses, posters, and a bunch of tiny treasures that can help build courage and calm in kids and teens.

With the end of the financial year just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to top up your toolkit — or quietly replace those resources that have shimmied away while you weren’t looking. (We see you. We`ve been there.)

This one is for you. And the young ones in your life. Actually, this one is for everyone.

Happy shopping!

View Instagram post by karenyoung_heysigmund

Jun 23

Open post by karenyoung_heysigmund with ID 17993676968654353
You know what's lovely? Aside from Sundays and sunshine? … Sales.  You know what's even lovelier? Sales that are 25% off books and resources designed to help kiddos feel bigger, braver, and calmer. For a short time, we’re taking 25% off books, plushies, courses, posters, and a bunch of tiny treasures that can help build courage and calm in kids and teens. With the end of the financial year just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to top up your toolkit — or quietly replace those resources that have shimmied away while you weren’t looking. (We see you. We've been there.) This one is for you. And the young ones in your life. Actually, this one is for everyone. Happy shopping!

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