Anger is part of being human and it has a very good reason for being there. When it’s managed well, anger can work hard for you. Let it own you though, and there’ll often be bucketloads of trouble. Here’s what you need to know to make it work for you.
It’s often the way that the things we would like to change about ourselves (like anxiety) often have strengths built into them. Here are some of yours. (And don’t worry, the good things about you are here to stay – they won’t change when your anxiety does.)
What happens in your brain and body during anxiety? (It’s pretty amazing!) Understanding where anxiety comes from, and why it feels the way it does, is a powerful way to be the boss of your magnificent brain, and get anxiety out of your way.
When anxiety is driving behaviour, it’s important to treat the behaviour as anxiety rather than bad behaviour. Any shame kids might feel for their behaviour will only drive their anxiety harder – they want to do the right thing and they don’t want to disappoint you.
This isn’t intended to give them a free pass. They still need to know where the limits are, and they still need to feel the edges of those limits, but it’s important to do this gently and by giving them the information and strategies they need to make better choices. They want to do the right thing, but as with all of us, sometimes this can take a little wisdom and a lot of practice.
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