All the courage you need is already in you, but it doesn’t always feel that way! Here’s how to find your ‘brave’ and how to use it.
by Karen Young (BSc)(Psych)(Hons)MastGestTher
Anxiety is about felt safety. It doesn’t mean your young one isn’t safe. It means they don’t feel safe.
The question then is, what would help them feel safer? This doesn’t mean anxiety will go away, and we don’t need it to. What we’re looking for is what would help you feel braver and safer, even when you’re anxious?
It also doesn’t mean school is doing anything wrong. But maybe there are little shifts that will make a big difference.
There will always be anxiety whenever there is something brave, new, hard, or growthful to do. But anything we can do to help them feel safer, will help anxiety feel more manageable, and hard things feel more do-able.
So let’s have the conversation. What’s@one thing school could do that would help your child feel safe enough, so they could do brave enough. There are no wrong answers.♥️
Jan 19
One little brave step at a time. It doesn’t matter how big the steps are, or how long it takes as long as the steps are forward.
The steps won’t always feel gentle. The big feelings that come with this won’t hurt them, as long as they are safe and they aren’t alone in their distress. Lead, with love. ‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this. I’m right here with you. We’ll handle this together.’
It doesn’t have to be you who is with them, as long as it is someone they feel safe with and care about by - a teacher, a relative, a grandparent - any important adult in their lives who can help them feel seen, loved, and safe through the storm.♥️
Jan 14
Darling you did it! It’s been a huge 4 years - the worst of days and the best of days - and you did it. I’m so proud of the woman you are and the woman you’ve been through all of it.
The world is opening up to you, and I can’t wait to see where it takes you. I’m so excited for your career. You belong here my darling, and the path is widening to take you.
Now is your time to rest and play. You’ve earned it. And when the next part of your adventure begins, the Masters part, know that we will be here beside you and behind you, but of course never in front of you. Your path is yours to take and you have everything in you to get there. Know that we’ll be here with our arms wide open, with hugs, with chats, with snacks, with dogs, with Aperols, and of course, with late night drive-throughs when nothing else makes sense. We’re here. I’m here. In fact, it’s one of my favourite places to be.♥️
Dec 12
First, we ask the questions of us:
Are they relationally safe?
- Do they have an anchor adult at school?
- Do they know how to access this adult?
- Do they feel welcome, a sense of belonging, warmth from their adults?
Do they feel safe in their bodies?
- Are they able to move their bodies when they need to?
- Are they free from sensory overload or underload?
- If not, what is their bare minimum list to achieve this with minimum disruption to the class, keeping in mind that when they feel safer in their bodies, there will naturally be less disruptive behaviour and more capacity to engage, learn, regulate.
Then we ask the question of them:
What`s one little step you can take? And don`t tell me nothing because I know that you are amazing, and brave, and capable. I`m here right beside you to show you how much. I believe in you, even if you don`t believe in yourself enough yet.❤️
#anxietyrelief #anxiouskids #anxietyinkids #anxiousteens #childanxiety #positiveparenting
Dec 3
No words to express my gratitude other than thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love your posts!