karenyoung_heysigmund
Relationship first, then learning and behaviour will follow. It can’t be any other way.
Anxious brains can’t learn, and brains that don’t feel safe will organise young bodies (all bodies) for fight, flight (avoidance, refusal, disengagement, perfectionism), or shutdown.
Without connection, warmth, a sense of belonging, feeling welcome, moments of joy, play, and levity, relational safety will be compromised, which will compromise learning and behaviour. It’s just how it is. Decades of research and experience are shouting this at us.
Yet, we are asking more and more of our teachers. The more procedural or curriculum demands we place on teachers, the more we steal the time they need to build relationships - the most powerful tool of their trade.
There is no procedure or reporting that can take the place of relationship in terms of ensuring a child’s capacity to learn and be calm.
There are two spaces that teachers occupy. Sometimes they can happen together. Sometimes one has to happen first.
The first is the space that lets them build relationship. The second is the space that lets them teach kids and manage a classroom. The second will happen best when there is an opportunity to fully attend to the first.
There is an opportunity cost to everything. It isn’t about relationships OR learning. It’s relationships AND learning. Sometimes it’s relationships THEN learning.
The best way we can support kids to learn and to feel calm, is to support teachers with the space, time, and support to build relationships.
The great teachers already know this. What’s getting in the way isn’t their capacity or their will to build relationships, but the increasing demands that insist they shift more attention to grades, curriculum, reporting, and ‘managing’ behaviour without the available resources to build greater physical (sensory, movement) and relational safety (connection, play, joy, belonging).
Relationships first, then the rest will follow.♥️
Tracey B (verified owner) –
A story that simplifies the feelings for all ages.
Sarah M (verified owner) –
As expected a fabulous book – I recommend your books to all my clients and their parents
SandyP (verified owner) –
Karen’s books are always favorites with my child clients and their families, and this is no exception. What a fun and humorous way to learn about boundaries!
Sarah (verified owner) –
The art is gorgeous and the story is sweet and accessible to everyone.
Geraldine S (verified owner) –
I loved this story and the characters. It was very timely for my grandkids as they were having some issues with boundaries. Well explained with a great message. I passed this on to my son to read to his kids and they loved the story.
Beautifully presented.
Solen (verified owner) –
Thank you for this book!!! It was a fun read :)) This and more books like this to come will help children around the world and help immensely with their healthy development.
Peter S (verified owner) –
These books are all truly wonderful! Just what we were looking for! Thanks! 🙂
Lupe S (verified owner) –
Wow!! Love your books. Everything I have order has been beautifully and carefully wrapped. The books and their messages are amazing. I work with young people and they help them understand concepts we are learning in therapy so much better. Thank you.
Erin (verified owner) –
Gorgeous book and illustrations that teaches the value of self acceptance and boundaries in a really fun way. I really appreciate the conversation prompters at the back of all Karen’s books to help to guide parents/carers to discuss these really important topics with their children.
Susan R (verified owner) –
Excellent message! Compliments the strategy that I teach my students to use when someone says something hurtful to them; to put up their “invisible shield” to deflect the hurtful words. The “invisible shield” is positive self-talk: student’s strengths and positive qualities. This strategy empowers the student to focus on themselves, and not give power to the hurtful words or actions.
Carmen D (verified owner) –
Hi I was delighted to received books wrapped in lovely paper with a sticker sealing it. A lovely touch. Beautiful messages in this and another book I purchased. I would have like the pictures to be abit more colourful though to appeal to kids a little more. Pleased with my purchase
Robyn C –
Excellent child level explanation about acceptance and bullying giving the child excellent skills to deal with it on a day to day basis! Love the soft toy amygdala to cuddle too! It is a concrete object the child can hang on to so they can understand the abstract concepts of their brain!