We are the foundation of everything in our lives – our relationships, our decisions, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions – everything. When we meet our own important needs we enrich and enliven ourselves and all that is connected to us. On the other hand, when we are depleted and unsatisfied, it’s difficult to thrive and to have energy for the important things.
Love = Happiness: And I am not taking about being in a relationship.
How often have you said something similar to this, ‘When I make more money, then, I will be happier’. ‘When I have a life partner, house and kids, then, I will be happier.’ ‘When I accomplish the career I really want, I will really be happy,’ or, ‘When I lose weight, I will finally be happy’.
It’s one thing to be dipped in venom by those you don’t really care about, but when it’s by the person who is meant to love you, hold you, and take the sharp edges off the world, while teaching you with love, wisdom and warmth how to do it for yourself, it changes you. There is a different kind of hurt that can only come from a toxic parent – someone who is meant to love you. Kind of like being broken from the inside out.
We humans can do anything – anything – but the fear of rejection is so powerful that it can make us step back from life in case we get hurt. That’s completely understandable. Completely. But we miss out on so much by doing that.
All of us at some point have done something bold and brave and daring – because the risk was worth it. We’ve chased, caught, kissed, asked, shared and bared our wanting soul for something that was too important to walk away from without trying.
Change happens in moments, bit by bit, with brave, small, daring steps that lead to something bigger. Sometimes they don’t feel that brave, that new or that daring – they just feel different, because they are. That’s what’s important, not the size of the change but that it’s different to what has been.
We’re all in this together, trying to flourish, get through, dodge the cave-ins and use the bumps in the road as a ramp to lift off. Wherever we’re at and whoever we’re with, there are some rules that are an unavoidable part of being human. They unite us, connect us and when we embrace them, are a way to feel less like we have to do any of this crazy, messy, beautiful, human thing on our own.
We humans are meant to play – for so many reasons. Playfulness has been associated with academic success, a greater capacity to cope with stress, innovative performance at work, and well-being – and that’s all backed by research. (Don’t you love it when science backs up what we already kind of know!) The problem is that too often we forget how to be playful.
So we’re on the way to getting this ‘being human’ thing sorted. But there’s always room to push it a little.
One of the best parts of being human is that when we push ourselves at the edges, however it turns out, we still get to be human. We might bruise a little, sometimes a lot, we might fall – but it’s nothing we can’t deal with. Eventually we’ll find our feet, get up and dust off, usually better, stronger, wiser than before. We can be pretty amazing like that.