Where the Science of Psychology Meets the Art of Being Human

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  • Hey Warrior - A book about anxiety in children.

    Hey Warrior

    A book for kids about anxiety. Kids can do amazing things with the right information. Understanding why anxiety feels the way it does and where the physical symptoms come from is a powerful step in turning anxiety around. Anxiety explained, kids empowered.

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  • Hey Awesome - A book for kids about anxiety, courage and being already awesome.

    Hey Awesome

    If kids with anxiety could see themselves the way we see them, they would feel so much bigger than their anxiety. They would feel so much bigger than everything. ‘Hey Awesome’ explains how the same brain that can make them feel anxious sometimes, also comes with amazing strengths. It also includes powerful tips for children on how they can manage their anxiety. First we let them know how awesome they are, then we give them what they need to feel it for themselves.

    ‘Hey Awesome’ can be shipped worldwide.

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  • Small Hey Warrior Plushie

    Measuring 22cm high, the small amygdala plushie is the perfect travel sized warrior for sleepovers, the school bag, the sports bag, the car, the couch, on your pillow – the truth is it will want to be anywhere you are. Here are some ways to use your plushie to feel braver, stronger, and less anxious:  … Read more »

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    $9.21

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  • Large Hey Warrior Plushie

    The plushie amygdala is your very own warrior, there to protect you. Measuring 40cm tall, it has super-soft fur, a way-too-cute head, and a heart of pure courage. It hates asparagus, loves blueberries, and isn’t too keen on footwear. It’s brilliant to have around, and not just because it will never steal your shoes. Your… Read more »

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    $13.47

    983 in stock

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  • Large Heart-to-Heart Warrior Plushie

    The plushie amygdala – strong, brave, and protective – but with a heart to hold against yours whenever you need to feel stronger, safer, and calmer. It will listen to your worries and help you feel braver, like it was born for the role (which it kind of was). It’s the bestie that will never… Read more »

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    $13.47

    1156 in stock

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  • Special Set

    The Brave Set

    This set includes the paperback versions of Hey Warrior and Hey Awesome, with an extra boost of brave in the form of a Hey Warrior keyring (for a little reminder that all the brave they need is in them), and gorgeous ‘bravery’ bookmarks with favourite quotes from each book. The bookmarks are exclusively available in the bundle.

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    $28.36
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  • Hey Warrior Set – Paperback With Small Plushie Amygdala – (Save 20%)

    Another hardworking team. This set includes the paperback version of Hey Warrior and the adorable 22cm small plushie amygdala. The plushie and the book work beautifully separately or together to help kids feel braver, stronger and less anxious. The plushie is just the right size for cuddling, and just the right size for travelling –… Read more »

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    $18.70

    509 in stock (can be backordered)

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  • Hey Warrior Set – Hardcover with Large Plushie Amygdala – (Save 20%)

    Something to read AND something to cuddle is one of the great duos of our time. This gorgeous pairing includes the hardback version of Hey Warrior, and a large 40cm amygdala warrior plushie.

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    $24.88

    679 in stock (can be backordered)

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0 Comments

Tony

Very good Article. What I learned from having a 16 year old is to LISTEN. ….LISTEN even when you are tired, when you are busy, when you don’t want to. NEVER tell the child how much you paid for the items you bought them. NEVER tell a struggling teen they are ungrateful, or how much you work to keep them safe. ITS not about you. I learned that even at 1 14 to 6 they have views they think you don’t want to hear or take serious.NEVER JUDGE or give your advice if it places them in bad light. What I learned is that many teens want you to ask them for help, they want you to depend on them, yes some times you have to be a friend as well as a parent. You don’t have to help them break the law, but let them express themselves, no matter how absurd their ideas may be. Lastly I learned to write my feelings down, and showed them to my 15 year old. Eventually she started writing her feelings. She started writing stories of how she felt. I never asked to read her thoughts but told her to keep writing, and she did. She now confides in many things with me. Its a long struggle but you have to know that mental illness is real and not made up

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Ellie D

Thank you for pointing out that you should make sure and love the person with an addiction. My husband and I are trying to get my sister treatment for her drug addiction. I’ll have to do some research and find the best recovery area for her.

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Brad A

This was a really great article. Thank you so much for putting it out here.

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Rose

Reading the comments have honestly been a breath of fresh air because I thought I was going through this pain alone, I felt like no one in the entire world can feel these kind of emotions because I felt like I was going crazy! My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago and it has been so gut wrenching. I dont want to play the blame game because we both hurt each other, but he broke up with me because I couldnt get over the past which caused me to be paranoid, suspicious, and negative, and naggy. But we were together for about 3 years and what I cant get over is how he can just end it with a phone call. Hasnt even texted or message me, I have some stuff left at his apartment and he hasnt even contact me to get them. It is as if he just vanished, which I think is really cold hearted. And now I am left to find closure with this abrupt break up. I feel so insane sometimes because I will have a day or so where I feel like i have conquered this breakup and then just suddenly break out in tears during random moments. Then I spur onto all these guilt and shame thoughts in my mind, I am functioning on the outside but inside I feel like my heart is so heavy. I just want to get over this breakup……

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Julianne K

To be honest sometimes, although gut wrenching and cold , they are doing you a favor my friend. No contact gives you time to take a pause . It forces you to stop questioning , reasoning , and brings all the noise to a stop . Everyday you will get stronger .. you will get used to not hearing from him , and you will learn to listen to your own heart , feel your feelings even as raw as they are . I’ve found when they come back it’s like peeling off a scab and you hurt all over again . Trust me he’lll rebound back .. it’s only a matter of time . Whatever is taking up his time will get old and wear off . He’ll see what he had . I too brought past issues and didn’t trust and it drove him away . In my time alone after I worked through that and I won’t bring that into the next one . Another piece of advice don’t date .. wait . Give it time . You’ll just do same thing all over . Good Luck !

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YG

‘m 50 years old, and a married woman and I am confused more than ever in my life. My mom has dementia now so I cant talk to her like I use too and I don’t have no one to talk too.

I’ve been with my husband since we were in high school, and have two daughters.

He was very abusive physically, verbally, and mentally as we were growing up as well as cheated on me many of times. I spent my years trying to do my very best on raising my daughters.

He stopped being physically abusive for about 10 years now. However, the verbal abuse still has been on going. But with me being older now I do argue back with him and will call him ugly names back and I don’t like it. I feel very mean now and feisty and I don’t want to be mean.

For a couple of years now I do not find interests with him anymore, and would like a peace of mind for the remaining years of my life. However, now that I want to call it quits he is all over me and is being super nice to me, because he knows I’m serious. I hear him crying in another room whenever we are home. I actually feel sorry for him, which is what he did all our lives together and I fell for it. But now I just want a peace of mind.

I have an old 2000 jeep so it seems that he likes for it to break down on me so that I can ask him to take it to get fixed, because he always took my cars to get fixed. But it seems that since I really want to back off with our relationship my truck is breaking down even more.

I told my daughters that I’m ready now to start my life and they are not happy with it, they told me that I’m being selfish and need to think of everyone that is in my life and especially of my two beautiful grandkids. They are not being supportive.They know of the abuse but feel like I’m too old and need to really think about it.

I stood in this relationship because of my girls and not wanting them to not have a dad. But I really feel like I can’t live like this anymore, even with him being super nice too me.

I even look at the way other men treat their spouses and admire it.

The home we live in is only under his name, because his parents signed over the house to him after they took out a huge loan. Right now I dont have the money to move, I’m only 5K in debt so I was planning on asking my daughter if I can stay with her, but since both daughters say I’m being selfish, I feel like I will be a nuisance.

I am going through menopause but I dont feel its menopause I’ve been feeling like this for a very long time.

I’m so lost and I don’t know what to do. I know you’ve seen or talked too many people in similar situations.

I would like some advise. Can you help me with giving me advise? Am I doing wrong? I dont know anyone else to turn to. Am I being selfish?

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Annie

Hi. So. Here is my humble opinion… you need professional counseling. It’s really helpful when you have low self esteem, which you do. Also, don’t leave your husband, just use him for what he can give you. He gives you a home, and some form of security. I would take that and emotionally detach. Live your own life. Find your own hobbies, make new friends, join a group… do new things and become who you want to really be. Practice your own ability to ignore him, and just simply stop trying to make it work and focus on your own happiness.

Good luck.

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Dorothy

I think a congratulations is in order: Congratulations for listening to yourself 🙂 All this time, you have been fulfilling the needs of others to the detriment of your own. You chose them over yourself. And personally, I think children need parents to think of them, but now that your daughters are old enough to fulfill their own needs, you can take that weight off your shoulders. BREATHE. It is YOUR turn 🙂
Do you have an income that will give you the opportunity to move out on your own?
Be prepared that people will be shocked at the changes you make and whilst their reactions may not be positive – in no way should you be swayed by them. Like I said: it is your turn 🙂
Once you listen to yourself and do what you need to do – positive people will surround you 🙂

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Alicia

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years now. We dated years back right out of high school but now we’re closer to our thirties. I love him with all of my heart. This helped me because he would hurt and hurt me and I always thought it was something I did wrong until I caught him crying. He also cheated . I’m still with him but I didn’t realize how hurt he was and how much he looked down on himself. I couldn’t and won’t leave him because I don’t want anyone else. This blog will help me to help better love him . He is my everything. I don’t wanna live without him. Thank you

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Josie

I’m totally with you Alicia. I feel the same way about my guy. He has been so hurt and I love him too with all my heart. This article helped me with patience with him and understanding why he does some of the things he does. It has taken me two years to realize how hard my guy has been on himself too, but my constant love and reassurance that he is a wonderful giving, loving man is paying off. He is opening up like I never thought possible.

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Linda N

Please leave immediately! I just turned 55 and have been disabled sixteen years. I have left a near 13 year abusive relationship. My own adult daughter that is not his I have come to realize has helped hide all he has done for over a decade. I am currently homeless. They expected me to die from complications of diabetes and starvation. It has been very hard. I have experienced abuse at two shelters froze in the streets but wouldn’t trade ever again for my peice of mind, freedom , and happiness to be me and live my life as I want enjoying my interests. I know it will get better in time. It is still better than being with someone who secretly hated me. This is the one year anniversary of his first murder attempt. He has also sent people to assault/kidnap me. Just today hooked up with DV center to help with housing. Your daughter’s attitude shows how much they care nothing about your feelings. Live for yourself there is no guilt in that! Years of your life have been sacrifed for a family that cared nothing about all you have given up to give them Peace and Happiness, IT IS YOUR TURN NOW! Contact the nearest DV center and start making your exit plan. Don’t discuss it with your family as they very obviously don’t have your best interest in their hearts. Good Luck, and Peace be with you all of your days.

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Martha-M

My 24 yr old grandson had been clean for years; has started back using; making unwise choices. I go to Naranon group. My 11yr old grandaughter, his sister asks for help understanding. Our family doesn’t talk about this together. I ask my daughter questions; feels she is upset with me. I’ve reached out to my addict; sometimes he comments but we don’t see each other. I don’t see their family much. They are busy. Time passes; it feels we are further apart.

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Shannon

I have 2 children son aged 6 & daughter aged 9 and my partner has two boys 11 & 12. We have been together for 6 years both of our marriages ended before we were together as a result of our ex’s having an affair (not together)
Our relationships was like a fairytale our kids all get on so well we were truly blessed! Then we moved in together 6 months ago and gradually it’s all falling a part and I’m not sure what to do?!
We have my step boys every other weekend, I look after them as my partner is at work, we have great fun all the kids together!
However when I ask my partner to help pick up my kids from school on his day off or drop or pick them up from a friends he simply says no! He says he feels guilty if he does this for my kids cause he doesn’t do it for his but his boys don’t mind as there mother’s nee hisbaydoes things for them so they say they kind of expect their dad to be helping with my kids. It’s really hurt me that he won’t help me at all and would rather see me rushing around cooking the dinner dropping kids off picking them back up
And he just watches the telly like he hasn’t a care in the world!!

I need help what should I do ? Tell him to step up or move out ?

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Lerato

I gave him 10 years of my life. He swiped condoms with my debit card n had a nerve to lie about ever buying them or even cheated. I dumped him the same day he went and buy a ring. He proposed but everytime I asked him we must sit a set a date he gave me excuses until 4 years after the proposal he then told me tgsf he feels that I’m putting pressure on him. Hes not ready for marriage. I remember crying that whole week because his mistress told my colleagues that there will never be any wedding happening between us he proposed to make me. forgive him. As if that wasn’t enough last week after 10 n half years he had z nerve to tell me he met Gugu and he cant do us anymore. He stopped caring about me last year December. His reason for leaving us(me and the kids) is I’m too overprotective. Like seriously after 10 good years. I’m stressed I cant even eat all I do is cry. He calls me it’s ok I have to answer I call him he doesnt pick up he feels like I’m keeping taps on him with a phone. I want so desperate to forget about him,,to hate him and stop loving him but I cant. Hes making all kinds of excuses it’s like he doesnt wanna move out anymore like he enjoys sticking around just to make me suffer. I’m tired crying I’m so worried about our kids. What I’m I gonna tell them?? How do u tell 5 n 7 years old that their dad found a new girl and hes leaving??

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Jen

I needed to read this today… I’m in the middle of a very ugly, very abusive, very toxic relationship. It has cost me my healthy, happiness, and most recently my job. My life has turned upside down and I find myself even more attached to the one thing that’s ruining it all. I cannot believe I love a man who has simultaneously ruined my life. I feel crazy. I feel like I can’t tray my own thoughts and emotions. I’ve tried to walk away so many times, but my love for him keeps me coming back. I’m drowning because I can’t walk away. My career is ruined. I look like I’ve aged 10 years in the last year. I cry constantly. I start a new job tomorrow and I’m hoping throwing myself into that and being surrounded by new people and new energy will give me the courage to leave for good.

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Jess

I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We’ve been engaged for over a year now. I’ve wanted to break up with him a couple times. However, I know who he is deep inside and want to keep giving him the chance to love it. I want it to work. We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I just don’t know how much more one-sidedness I can take, along with the lies and messing around behind my back (even though he will always deny it). I don’t feel love from him like I’m looking for. It’s been there a few times. My trust in him had been completely broken and he told me If I give him a chance, it’ll just take time. I’m falling out of love with him because of this. What and how did you change your thinking and behavior? How did you come to that point of self-love?

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Juliette

Man, for 10.5 yrs. it’s not going to go away quickly. Now you have to take back your pride and self-respect. Let it go. Check off each day you’ve avoided hem on a calendar and give yourself a small reward each week. If you are starting a new job in the same field, then you haven’t ruined your career – yet.

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Frank

No one is immune from the painful words and actions of family and friends we care for. Rather than agonize over what was said and done I believe the only option is rebuild yourself internally from the ground up. This is not ea

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Frank

Sorry……read above. This is not easy. Every ounce of your strength and determination is required to come to grips with the pain and disappointed when family and friends say or do things that are terrible and hurt us. Sometimes these things are done out of love. More often than not it is done out of anger, jealousy, ego insecurity and a profound lack of compassion and understanding. My advice to you is simple. Back away and focus on yourself. Go look for new families and friends to spend time with. Imagine that you are the loving compassionate parent or friend that sees that little four year old boy or girl with their head in their hands , devastated,crying and trembling. Would you simply walk away. Of course not ! You would walk up to the little little child and ask them what is wrong.
When they explain it to you you would immediately try to console them and if you really loved the child give them and all encompassing, loving embrace with soft loving words. Please understand that YOU are that child. You must also be that parent or friend that walks up to the child with loving words and a big embrace. You woke up today. Everything in your body still worked.
Be grateful. Breathe, listen and crack a tiny smile that some mysterious force still wanted you here. Feel blessed that you were not the one that got some horrible news today. Keep moving and walking around the great circle that is life the same way the earth keeps slowly spinning on itself and around the sun. Do not allow yourself to become stuck. Keep moving, softly walking and flowing the same way your heart keeps softly beating and moving your warm glorious life giving blood to even the smallest tips of your fingers and toes. Love yourself, calm your mind. You are not and never will simply be your thoughts. Keep walking softy and moving forward.

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Frank

The one other comment I would add is do not be consumed by thoughts of retaliation and revenge. Living well is the best revenge.
Life is supremely ironic and no one can escape their karma. When those who have really hurt you grow old ,sick and die be grateful that you are not the one suffering today. Your full time, every day job is to take care of you. When that piece is good then you can begin to think about reaching out to others and mend some fences if you need to.

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Mary RB

Labels are important when dealing with Narcissism in particular Malignant Narcissism. I would like to see much more written about this disorder. It is vital that people know the signs,manipulation and utter cruelty that a narcissist will inflict. They cannot change so please learn and leave now. My sister was murdered by her narcissistic husband 11 months ago. Luckily he killed himself directly after. Upon researching his computers and what was googled he had planned this for close to a year. Run from a narcissist. It could save your life.

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Mandie

I suffer with extreme worry, obsessive thinking over and over again.. it absolutely drives me insane.. Fearing everything thinking the worse all the time.

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Jess

I just want to put how I’m feeling out there to get it off my chest!

I thought I was doing so well and actually getting my life on track albeit decades after I should have. I thought , too, that I was managing the relationship with my narcissistic parent. I felt grown up and happy…

…then he contacted to say he wanted to visit to drop a gift off (he won’t contemplate alternative meeting arrangements)…

And now I’ve lost all the good feelings over this little thing. I can’t face him being in my house. This is my sanctuary and where I’ve worked on getting myself better. I know it’s maybe overreacting but I’m in a real state. Gone is all the self care I’ve been doing to be replaced by being unable to get anything done. I had plans for the next week and now all I can think of is how I am going to,be able to protect myself on the visit. I can’t even lose myself in a book or tv I am so scared and anxious.

Thanks for listening!

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Auswoman_33

Hi Jess,
Wow, I can’t believe this but I am now so much further down the track, I can help others. Amazing.
YOU have the right to say no. Boundaries. You can say you’re not available. You can say no, let’s meet at a cafe. You can say I’m busy. Whatever message you can come up with and stick to.
You don’t deserve to feel this way. The only way to stop this behaviour is to put up a strict boundary. My mum was EXACTLY the same. And I just kept saying no, I’m not available etc. Now she doesn’t drop in, and I don’t get phone calls, only emails which I filter to another inbox. it’s still difficult when I see her occasionally but it’s all on my terms xxx sending you love

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Jess

Thanks. Those are the techniques I’ve been employing with what I thought was great success which is why I was feeling so good! It really was great having the boundaries.

I guess he has just got wise to it and this time is so determined that it will be his way. He is away this week and I had a nice week planned but his last message was so forceful that he will see me next week, whatever, that I have totally lost the plot (while he is away having a great time!) . The stress of it means I can’t concentrate and wake up upset.

I am angry at myself for not being able to keep the boundaries up and for letting him upset my life once again. It would probably have been better to have just seen him last week and got it over with – by trying to protect myself I seem to have made it so much worse.

I need a strategy to cope with seeing him but every time I try to think of one the panic of all he will say just paralyses me. I’m losing yet more of my life which makes me feel such a failure.

Well done you on setting boundaries your mother will stick to. I know how hard it was for you too from your previous posts. I guess I’m feeling worse this time because I had a taste of the relief that came with a year of boundaries that worked!

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Auswoman_33

Hey Jess
Honestly, I still get super anxious when I see my mum, well I was, but every time now it is not quite as bad. I agree sometimes by avoiding them we make it worse. I was moving towards no contact but now I’m sticking with having a civil connection.
A few things that help me are remembering that the way it makes me feel is what I let it (easier said than done) but I try to deal with whatever comes up and then move on and then catch myself if I start obsessively thinking about whatever it was. I.e. if my mum calls me or emails me, I will catch myself thinking about it a lot for a period of time. If I’ve said no or ignored the communication, then I am just trying to build the muscle to respond and then move on.
Your dad doesn’t have the right to invade your personal space. They do catch onto these things. My mum sends me a lot of emails. They will just try to weasel their way in however they can. Remember your feelings are the most important thing. And ‘no’ is a complete sentence.

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Hey Warrior - A book about anxiety in children.








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